


From the Ashes of My Heart

by HermitWitch



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Dunmer culture, Dunmeri, East Empire Trading Company, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Modern Girl in Skyrim, Modern Girl in Tamriel, Post Civil War, Post Skyrim Main Quest, Raven Rock, Romance, Slow Burn, Solstheim, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:12:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 63
Words: 129,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19141501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermitWitch/pseuds/HermitWitch
Summary: The life she knew ended with sirens and nuclear fire. Imagine the shock when Vanya Marietta opened her eyes to a new world, one that would challenge everything she ever believed in.





	1. Arrival

_The last thing I remember from my world is fear. Terrifying sirens screamed through the air as we gathered belongings to take with us. Where were we going? There was nowhere to go, but we didn't know that at the time. Then a flash- and then nothing. I suppose if I hadn't been ripped through dimensions I would have died in that moment. From what I know of nuclear bombs, you're vaporized pretty much instantaneously if you're lucky. That's all I have of my last moments on Earth._

_The next thing I remember is being woken up by a rough boot in my side._

* * *

Disoriented, Vanya mumbled, "What happened?"

"Woman, what're you doing out here? You lost?" The man had a strange accent. Not anything she could place around the Midwest.

"What?" she asked, not because she hadn't heard him. "Where am I?" She had finally opened her eyes and noticed the strange surroundings. She was laying on a pile of sand and dried brush under a sickly looking tree, the sky was an unnatural shade of orange and the sunlight weak, shrouded with ash. "I don't even recognize any of this." She couldn't believe what the bombs had done, or how she had survived.

"Musta had a hard night," the man chuckled. "Were you with anyone else?"

Only now did she look at the man and noticed there were three of them. She was startled by their appearance. She might have expected radiation suits or gas masks, but these three men were in full armor. One in steel, who'd been speaking to her, and the other two in leather though one had pieces that looked like an unbelievably large exoskeleton. Had she been preserved for hundreds of years and those were the exoskeleton of giant, mutated bugs? It was the only thing that made sense in her struggling mind.

"I was with my fiancé when we heard the sirens," she said. The man in front blinked at her. The other two had their faces covered but from their body language, she could read their confusion. "There was a flash- the...the bomb." She glanced around and then back to the men.

They looked at each other briefly and then the one in steel answered, " I think you should come with us." It wasn't a suggestion for as he said it, his silent companions grabbed her arms and lifted her to unsteady feet.

"Where is 'with you'? Is it a survivor camp?" She attempted to distance herself from the men at her side as she gained her footing, but while one let her go the other on her right kept a firm grasp on her upper arm.

"It's a camp," he confirmed with a smirk.

She walked with the men, looking all around trying desperately to recognize the landscape. How was this possible? How was the world so changed but her body left intact? She soon noticed the pathway had narrowed as it led deeper into the trees. Wouldn't a survivor camp be in a clearing, or at least have a wider road leading to it? All of these doubts- and the firm grip on her arm- gave her an intense feeling of danger. Something was definitely not right about this.

Her alarm only spiked as they rounded a large rock and she noticed a cave opening. She stopped abruptly turning her widened eyes to the man on her arm, her voice trembling, "This isn't a camp."

He gave a deep chuckle as the other spoke. "Oh, but it is. It's much roomier inside, you'll see. Don't be afraid, there are no ash-spawn in here."

She barely had time to imagine what an ash-spawn was before she was shoved forward and marched into the darkness.

 


	2. Out of the Frying Pan

It had been weeks, how many she couldn't tell.

They'd thrown her in a small room and locked the door, only opening it to violate her or throw her their scraps of food. She instinctively curled into herself on the hard mattress of the bed as she heard them returning from whatever it was they'd left to do. There were six men in what she had figured was a band of thieves, though she wasn't sure two of them were men. One had long pointed ears and the other- the other was a monster. He was bigger than the rest and a dark green color. His skin was hard and he had large pointed teeth that protruded grotesquely from his lower lip. In her right mind, she might have placed them in a fantasy movie but their brutality had quickly banished any thoughts aside from keeping her heart beating.

Her initial resistance was crushed when the monster had made it clear he had no reservations in bruising her to submission. She'd been so delirious she could have sworn the pointed-eared one had used some sort of healing light. She no longer questioned where she was, she no longer reacted to their depravity, she no longer prayed. She laid in her prison staring at the grooves of the rock wall until a shadow engulfed her, whether in the form of a man or pure exhaustion. When she did sleep, her dreams were ash and fire.

She stiffened when she heard a harsh yell. There were strange unearthly noises along with the sounds of the men pulling out their weapons. She heard them taunting and roaring battle cries.

"Never should have come here!"

She sat up then. Someone was attacking! A flicker of hope sparked in her chest at the thought of being rescued. It quickly sputtered when she realized that no one would be looking for her, for all she knew it was a rival gang for whom she would be the spoils. She scooted back to the corner of the mattress, folded her knees to her chest, and waited. After a few minutes, the room outside went quiet. She wondered if the attackers had won. If they had maybe they would just leave and not see her.

Her heart stopped as the handle of the door creaked. The door swung open and a man she did not recognize walked in, bloody sword at the ready. She sat frozen, eyes wide with terror. He wore the same leather and exoskeleton armor as some of the thieves, only he had a matching set complete with a helmet and red cloth over his face so that it was completely obscured. He paused when he saw her, but quickly recovered and canvassed the room for any hiding enemies. It looked as if his left hand was surrounded by wisps of fire but before she could even try to comprehend that it extinguished and he turned to her, his sword lowered slightly.

"The men outside are dead." His voice was deep, and a little grainy. "You have the look of a prisoner, you are free now." 

Her mouth gaped as she relaxed her knees, stretching out slowly toward the edge of the bed, marveling at this man's even stranger accent. Where her captors had slurred their words together into something vaguely European, he enunciated with lazy vowels and an exotic lilt she'd definitely never heard. She jumped back when another man entered the room, this one in an imposing set of blood-spattered armor that looked to be made of the bones of a large creature. She could see his face in his helmet, and blonde hair peeking out of the edges. He appeared to be a normal man, though still incredibly large.

"Who's this, then? A captive?" He heaved a sigh and gentled his voice. "Poor lass, where're you from?"

"I- I'm not sure how to answer that." Tears filled her eyes as she looked from one man to the other. "Does Chicago mean anything to either of you?"

They glanced at one another and she could tell by the look on the blonde man's face that the answer was no. Just then, yet another man shouldered into the increasing small-feeling room. This one wore gleaming black armor with delicate-looking swirls etched into the surface. His angular helmet covered his face completely, framed by sharp fins on each side reminding her of the pointed eared bandit. "Who are you talking to...oh", his question died on his lips as he saw what Vanya knew was a rather pathetic sight.

The blonde man then confirmed her fears. "I've never heard of that, is it a country? What'd you say again? Shicarro?"

"Chicago. But never mind, what is the nearest city?"

"Raven Rock," the man in the red scarf answered. "You should be able to find a room at the Retching Netch."

She made a face at the name. "The what?"

At her reaction, the man in black armor chuckled. "I told you it was an awful name, Teldryn."

"And I told you that I didn't name it," the man called Teldryn replied testily.

"Enough Erik," the blonde man chided as one would a child. "Go and collect anything of value from this worthless lot." It was clear to Vanya that he was the leader of the group. He turned his attention back to her. "The name aside, you go there and find a room and a hot meal and put all this behind you."

She stood up gingerly and straightened out the over-sized shirt she wore as a dress, a small kindness that the pointed eared man had bestowed upon her after she'd lain naked for a few days. "Thanks...I'll do that." She pushed her dirty, matted brown hair from her face and looked around her pathetically as the two men turned toward the door.

* * *

Teldryn glanced back at the mysterious woman before exiting and though he knew the answer he felt compelled to ask, "Do you know the way to Raven Rock?"

She blinked up at him with watery eyes. "No, are you going that way?"

"No," he said, but with the mournful look on her face he found himself speaking without thinking, "but I could escort you. We have business elsewhere but it's really Roggir's business, I can catch him up." The relief that swept over her body somewhat alleviated the personal outrage that was flaring at himself at the thought of inconveniencing his new employer.

"Thank you, oh, thank you." She took a few steps forward as she spoke. He leaned away and gave a curt nod before turning to tell Roggir what he'd just promised. This was going to cost him, he'd go back in time and undo it if he could. What was he thinking? She was just an unfortunate prisoner to bandits, not unlike some he'd seen before. But when he'd looked into her dark brown eyes, something was different. His curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Just as he'd expected, Roggir was not pleased with the delay. "I need you to meet me at sundown, so make haste," he said sharply.

"I'll be there, serjo."

At the formality, Roggir waved him off. "Ah, I know you're good for it. Just didn't take you for such a soft heart."

"I'm not...usually."

"Right. well, since you'll be right there collect the bounty for these scumbags if you would."

"Consider it done. I'll see you at the Water Stone"

Roggir and Erik set out soon after, taking the haul of scavenged goods. Teldryn returned to the atrium of the cave to see the girl wandering the room slowly, looking at the picked-over corpses of her captors. He vaguely wondered if Roggir had just made off with any of her valuables.

"Are you prepared?" he interrupted.

She turned to him with a strange look in her eye. "Where's the green one?"

"The orc? I beheaded him just up there." He pointed to a raised area where the orc's body lay on the other side of a table. She quickly made her way toward it and looked upon the scene with a peculiar mix of horror and satisfaction. Then she spit on it, taking Teldryn by such surprise he almost laughed.

She turned and opened a small satchel he had not noticed before and began stuffing it with food from the table, taking bites periodically. Finally, she grabbed a bottle of wine and with a bottle in one hand and an over-full bag in the other she approached him. "Ready."

Her visage struck him as so absurd that now he did laugh, though he suppressed it quickly as she looked down self-consciously. "I don't have money, I figured I should stock up."

"I understand, it's just...never mind...Let us be going, I am pressed for time."


	3. Raven Rock

"How far is it to Raven Rock?" she asked as they exited the cave. It was late morning and even the shrouded sun caused her to shield her eyes.

"It's a couple hours' walk, not too far. Those reavers had been harassing this area for a while so we accepted the request to eliminate them, seeing as it was on our way," Teldryn replied. He was always glad to rid the land of a few of those degenerates.

"I'm sorry," the woman said. "I forgot that you weren't going this way. Your friends went on?"

"Roggir is my employer, and Erik is certainly not my friend." The young upstart of a nord really got under his skin with his incessant questions and inane comments. "And I'm claiming the bounty for the reavers while I'm there. It's not just for you." He felt a pang of guilt for sounding so brusque. He was more annoyed with himself than her. What in Oblivion had made him risk his employment with the Dragonborn like this?

She seemed to pick up on his mood and walked silently beside him, nibbling on the contents of her satchel. She had some bread, cheese, and dried meat that looked like horker. She looked as if she'd not been fed well and he did not need much imagination to figure out what they'd been doing with the poor woman. With her distracted by her meal, he took the opportunity to observe her in the light. She had the skin of an imperial and was quite tall, perhaps only half a head shorter than him. If she had any Nord in her it did not translate to her reed-thin build, though it was likely the starvation had contributed to that. He wondered how long she'd been in that cave. He hadn't heard about a missing woman, but then again he had never heard of this 'Chicago' she had mentioned.

As they cleared a rocky outcrop and made their way down the beach the woman gasped, stopping suddenly. "What is that?"

"What is what?" he said, his hand on his sword as his eyes darted around them.

"That smoking mountain!"

Now his interest was really piqued. He turned to her. "Where are you from that you do not know of Red Mountain?"

She swallowed the last bits of food in her mouth and looked up at him. "This is Sol- Soltheim?".

"Solstheim," he corrected.

"And where is Solstheim?"

"It's north of Morrowind- and Skyrim." As he answered he tried to imagine where she could be from to not have an idea where she was.

"No, I mean...what is this world called?"

He stared at her in disbelief. "Nirn."

There was no recognition in her eyes as she looked away, her voice quivering, "Where I'm from the world is called Earth." A tear rolling down her cheek as they both came to the same realization. She was hopelessly lost.

* * *

 _Nirn? Where is Nirn? Where is Earth?_  Her appetite was gone, her head swimming as her mind attempted to wrap itself around the information she'd just learned. How would she ever get back to her family- to Samuel? Was there anything to go back to?

"We need to keep moving," she heard Teldryn say. She looked to him and felt fear rising in her chest. She had trusted him so easily, just as she had trusted the bandits. How did she know he was not going to lead her to an even larger camp of rapists and thieves? She took an unsteady step back, her terrified gaze not leaving his bony helmet. She could not escape him, and if she did she could not survive. She was going to die out here. Her breathing was erratic and Teldryn was speaking but she comprehended none of it as she trembled in full panic.

He raised his hand and a soft green light suffused from it, surrounding her body. Her blood pressure lowered and she could hear the tail end of his sentence, "...have time for this, you need not fear me. I'm going to Raven Rock either way now, come or do not." The light flickered out and he turned and began walking away.

It could not be denied now. There was some sort of magic in this world. She stared at his back as he left. He'd just calmed her with a wave of his hand. As he gained distance from her she quickly reasoned that if his intentions were evil, he could have simply knocked her out and carried her. She weighed her options and concluded that the risk of following him was better than certain death out here. She trotted after him.

* * *

He heard her footfalls as she caught up to him. He had lost his patience when it looked as if she would run. He had not wanted to leave her for dead in the cave, but he was certainly not going to chase her around to convince her to follow him. His frustration grew along with the curiosity he knew he would not have the time to satisfy. If what she said was true, she was from a whole other realm. She could have also gone mad in captivity, but he felt that was not likely. He was relieved when she rejoined his side and decided that perhaps when he returned he could ask her about Earth and Chicago.

They again walked in silence, though he noticed she kept a little more distance between them. She had been taking sips from her wine bottle when she finally spoke, "Ugh, this stuff is not helping. I wish I would have looked for some water. Do you have any?"

He slowed his pace and reached for his waterskin. Even as he handed it over he thought about how he hated letting others touch their mouths to it, but again his body had moved seemingly without his direction.

She let out a gasp of excitement as she lifted it from his hand. She uncapped it and, much to his appreciation, raised the waterskin above her lips to pour into her mouth. After she'd had her fill, she handed it back to him with a sublime look on her face. "Thank you," she said as she raised her eyes to his. "They never gave me clean water."

He nodded and decided he'd take a drink as well. He pulled his cowl down and took a swig, then recapped the waterskin and fastened it to his belt.

"Come, not much further and you can rest," he said as he brought the cloth back up over his mouth.

* * *

Vanya was startled at the sight of his skin. His armor and scarf completely covered him so she'd had no idea what he looked like. His skin was like ash! She walked apprehensively beside him as they continued, wondering what he was. That skin color was definitely not human. The pointed eared man in the cave was a dark golden shade, and the orc was a mossy green. Teldryn did not have teeth like the orc, but the skin color caused her a fair bit of alarm. She kept silent, not wanting to upset him by asking about it.

Finally, the town came into view and she was further alarmed by the sight of the residents. Most of them had the same ashy skin, some with a tinge of blue, and now she could see their long pointed ears. Even more terrifying were their large, blood red eyes and stern brows. She was gaping openly and earning some disapproving looks from passers-by. Despite her earlier unease, she now walked closer to Teldryn.

The residents aside, Vanya was fascinated by her surroundings as she trailed him. The buildings were low and dome-like and the doors recessed into archways, likely designed to prevent ash from building up on top or going inside. It occurred to her that the structures reminded her of large beetles though, to her relief, they seemed to made of a type of man-made material and not the actual carcasses of giant bugs. They were crossing an open marketplace with a large well in the center when someone called to them.

"Oy, Teldryn! Back so soon?" A gruff looking man walked toward them from a blacksmith's forge. Vanya was slightly relieved that he looked to be human.

"Only returning for an errand, Glover. "

"Ah, is that willowy maid part of this errand?" Glover asked as he approached. "She looks scared as a baby netch. What's your name, lass?"

"Vanya."

The man nodded and looked as if he'd ask another question when Teldryn cut in. "You'll have to make small talk later, I have business to attend to if you don't mind."

He stepped back and waved them off. "Aye, I'll let you be then. Give my regards to the Dragonborn. " He gave Vanya a friendly nod before returning to his work.

"Come, this way," Teldryn directed and they continued. A very large building came into view that looked like the rest only it was above ground and built into the cliff-side with a huge platform and stairway leading to it.  _Perhaps this is a government building_. Then she noticed the wall. It was a hundred feet tall at least with parapets and guards walking along the top. It was like something from a storybook. She was gazing so intently at the massive spectacle that she nearly walked into Teldryn, only he held out his hand to catch her shoulder.

"The wall is called the Bulwark. It keeps the ash out." he said matter-of-factly. Vanya blinked at him then noticed they were standing in front of a rather normal looking two-story building constructed of rough-hewn, gray stones. "I must speak with the Second Councilor about the bounty before I take you to the inn."

She nodded and followed him inside.

* * *

Vanya waited on a bench as Teldryn spoke with another ash-colored man, noticing that he seemed taller than most others of his kind. She observed a tapestry on the wall of the building. It was red with what she could only describe as a scarab designed on it. First the armor and buildings and now this?  _What's with these people and bugs?_

She jumped when Teldryn's shadow fell over her. She stood to face him giving a weak smile, taking a deep breath through her nose to try and steady her heart rate. Then she noticed the small bag in his outstretched hand.

"What's this?" she asked.

"There are one-hundred septims here," he replied in a low voice. "It's ten a night at the inn, and you can get some food and clothing."

She wouldn't normally accept charity and she liked the idea of borrowing money from a stranger even less but she knew her situation was desperate. She took the bag gingerly, tucking it into her satchel. "Thank you, Teldryn."

"Don't thank me just yet," was his reply as he motioned toward the door. "This will last but a few days, you'll need to find work to keep out of the street."

As they left the building Teldryn continued, "Keep your coin close, this town is small but the occasional drifter comes through and you don't want to lose it to a pickpocket."

They walked back toward the marketplace and approached the first of the domed buildings.

"Here you are, just through these doors. Tell Geldis I sent you."

She nodded, eyes wide as she anticipated being left alone.

"You'll be safe here, just stay in town. I need to be off." He stepped back from her. "Farewell."

"Bye," was all she managed as he turned and walked away. She watched him leave for a moment before turning to open the door.

* * *

Teldryn glanced back and saw her form disappear through the doors of the Retching Netch. Her name was Vanya, he'd not even thought to ask it himself. As he walked back the way he'd come, he hoped she'd be alright.


	4. The Retching Netch

The inn was warm and inviting as Vanya stepped over the threshold. The room was round with a large fireplace in the far end, the walls curving upward in the same shape as the exterior. Along the walls were large, round canisters that looked to made of clay, a couple of chairs, and piles of ash that seemed to have been swept up recently. A large staircase stretched out ahead of her, leading down to what she guessed was the main hall. These structures were obviously much larger than they appeared, having been built mostly under the ground. An ash-colored man was tending the fire when he noticed her. "Can I help you?" he asked, casting a skeptical eye her direction.

"Are you Geldis?"

"He's down at the bar. If you're here to ask for a handout..."

"No, no! I was told to ask for him," Vanya cut in. "By Teldryn." She hoped Teldryn was someone of enough importance that dropping his name would help. The man looked unconvinced but he gave in, turning back to his work with a 'hmph'.

She hesitated for a second but when it was clear the man would say no more, she advanced down the steps. The tavern hall also consisted of curved walls, the large room segmented by thick archways, their shape accentuated by the soft light of the paper lanterns that hung on them. There were a few patrons scattered about chatting and eating lunch.

"Ah, a new face!" The man standing behind the bar greeted. "Come, come, what can I do for you?" He had a lighter blue tone to his skin, and light brown hair pulled into a high ponytail.

She smiled weakly and slid onto a barstool. "Are you Geldis?"

"Indeed, that is me. And you are?"

"Vanya. Er...Teldryn told me to tell you he sent me."

"He did, did he? Well, how may I help you, sera?"

She glanced around. "I guess I need a room?" She looked back to Geldis, who was nodding with a curious expression on his face.

"Um...I have money. Teldryn told me it's ten...septims?"

"Yes, that's right." Geldis did not look away as he picked up a mug to wipe out the inside.

Vanya lifted the bag of coins, opened the drawstring and timidly fingered the gold coins inside.  _This would be a fortune back home._  After a few moments, she realized she was being waited on. "Oh, uh, two nights please." She gathered twenty pieces and stacked them on the counter.

By now Geldis looked like he had a thousand questions, but thankfully he took the gold and merely replied, "Very well, sera, I'll show you to your room."

He walked around the counter, leading her across the dining area and down a hallway. He stopped in front of the second door on the left and unlocked it, turned and held the key up to her. "Here you are, I see you brought provisions but feel free to come to the dining hall for a hot meal and a drink."

She grasped the large iron key. "Thanks," she breathed.

"Let me know if you need anything. You can also ask Drovas, he should be around," Geldis said as he turned to leave.

"Uh, one question."

The man turned back expectantly.

"Where would I go to find, um, clothes?" Her cheeks reddened slightly as she looked down at the ragged shirt she'd worn for...she wasn't sure how long.

"Talk to Fethis, or perhaps the blacksmith, Glover. They may have something to suit you," Geldis offered.

Vanya nodded wearily. Geldis turned to leave again, but turned back once more. "I'll have Drovas bring you a bucket of hot water and some rags for you to bathe. I may have a spare dress that you can borrow until you make it to the shops."

She could again only nod, not trusting her voice she tried to express her gratitude through her watery eyes. Geldis pursed his lips uncomfortably and left. Her limbs suddenly heavy, she shuffled into the room and shut the door, not even bothering to lock it. She stood there, rooted to the spot, consumed with such overwhelming emotions she wasn't sure her body would move if she wanted it to. Confusion, shame, guilt, loneliness- all of these in magnitudes she had never known possible. Through the muddle of thoughts swirling in her head, there was one feeling that drowned out the rest- hopelessness. She'd lost her home and her family. If she could even get back, what was there to go back to? Why had she been spared their fate only to be brutally used? Yes, there was kindness here, Teldryn- and now Geldis- had shown her that, but what kind of life could she lead in a world in which she did not belong? Her shoulders heaved as she finally gave in to wracking sobs, crumpling to the floor in exhaustion.

By the time there was a knock at the door, the tears had dried on her face and it took great effort to lift her stiff limbs in an attempt to answer. A louder knock startled her as her hand touched the door handle. When she opened it she was greeted with the scowling face of the man she'd met at the entrance.

_This must be Drovas._  His already disapproving look deepened as he gazed on her filthy appearance. "I've been asked to inform you that supper tonight is fried ash hopper and saltrice bread ." He stiffly placed the bucket of steaming water just inside the doorway, tossing the rags and clothing down next to it. Before she could thank him he turned away muttering in a low tone so that she did not hear.

Vanya bit her lip and closed the door, feeling thankful for the hot water despite Drovas' manner. She washed as best she could and dressed in the plain, rough cloth dress. It was a tad short in length and needed a belt or vest, but it was clean so she found herself feeling much better. She decided to not venture out to the common room for dinner. The food in her satchel would suffice and she needed to save her money. How much would clothes cost her? And how would she provide for herself once she ran out of gold?

She put those matters to the back of her mind for the moment. She reclined on the bed and enjoyed the first bit of comfort she'd had since she arrived in this strange world. Soon she was fast asleep.

* * *

Vanya woke from a dreamless sleep and sat up, rubbing her eyes as she swung her feet over the side of the bed. She didn't know how long she'd slept, but it felt like a long time. Her stomach growled in confirmation.

She padded across the room to the small table and chair where her satchel laid and rummaged for something appetizing. What was left of the bread was tough and a bit stale and the meat was dried and salted so she suspected it was safe, it was the cheese that worried her. She eyed the wedge of cheese suspiciously. The last thing she needed right now was a case of food poisoning. Suddenly her body reminded her of another necessity.  _Where do I go to pee?_

She sighed, scratching her head absently. Now that she thought about it she really had to go. In the cave there had been an old rusty pot, so she assumed that a chamber pot was what she was looking for. She searched the room, wondering if that guy Drovas had to clean them, and to her great dismay found nothing resembling a chamber pot. Throwing her head back in frustration, she groaned as she resigned to the fact that she would have to go ask.

She snatched a bite of bread and chewed while straightening her clothes and running her hands over her hair to hopefully not look too disheveled. "Okay," she whispered to herself just before opening the door and stepping into the hall. Vanya stopped and listened. It was quiet.  _It must be pretty late._  With fingers still on the door handle to her room, she peered into the dimly lit main hall. She swallowed nervously and seriously considered just peeing in the corner of her room.

She rolled her eyes and chided herself, "Don't be stupid." It was the middle of the night and this was a pretty small town from what she'd seen, of course it was quiet. She pulled her door shut and forced herself to march down the hall to ask Geldis or Drovas where to find a restroom, smiling at the sudden intrusive memory of her middle school Spanish class.  _Donde está el baño?_  The smile melted when she reached the main room. There was no sign of life and the lantern light drew long, eerie shadows along the curved walls.

As much as she tried to keep calm, the hair on her arms was standing on end and a cold shiver crept up her spine. The idea of wandering around a strange place in the dark gave her very distinct horror movie vibes. She would go back to her room, she decided, and not come out until she heard life on the other side of the door...except...

Vanya moaned uncomfortably and hopped up and down as the pressure in her gut insisted on relief. Then she stilled, remembering the bucket Drovas had brought with bathing water. Without a second thought, she turned quickly and nearly ran to her room. Drovas would likely be angry, he'd think she was a complete idiot, but she'd deal with the consequences later.

Minutes later, feeling relieved in more ways than one, Vanya stretched back out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She wondered if she was being crazy. She should have at least gone to the bar and seen if one of the guys was resting nearby. Surely they did not leave the place unattended at night. Maybe they were on a bathroom break, too?

She rubbed her face with both hands. "Oh my God, that was probably it. " She pulled up the blanket and rolled on her side facing the door, now properly locked. What was done was done, she would apologize and find out where the bathrooms were in the morning.


	5. Two Steps Forward

A harsh knock pulled Vanya from sleep. She froze in terror momentarily until she fully registered that she was no longer in the cave. She got to her feet and made her way to the door, pulling it open just enough to see Drovas' scowling face.

"Yes?" she answered, her voice groggy.

"I'm here to collect the water bucket I brought to you yesterday."

She stared at him, the veil of sleep dissipating in an instant. She had really hoped to have a minute to think about how to deal with the bucket situation, but here he was first thing as if he knew what she'd done.

"Uhh..I'm not...done with it," she stammered.

He opened his mouth to reply but then closed it, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I mean, I am...but..well, listen..." She opened the door further.

He waited, his expression not changing.

"I came out last night to ask where I might go to, uh, you know." She gave him a meaningful look, waving her hand in small circles. It only took a moment for Drovas to catch on. He closed his eyes and lowered his chin, his head giving a nearly imperceptible shake.

Vanya continued, "I couldn't find anyone..."

"Just hand it over," he cut her off, his hand reaching up so abruptly it made her jump.

She complied, handing over the bucket with the used rags draped over the edges. He took it without a word and stalked away. "Sorry," Vanya called to his retreating figure.

She closed the door and leaned up against it. That actually had gone a bit better than she had expected. Though she was mortified, at least he hadn't yelled at her. She set about getting ready to go out to the shops and see what kind of clothing she might be able to buy. She was picking through her satchel of food, trying to determine what might still be edible when there was another knock at the door.

A much friendlier- and slightly amused- man was now standing in front of her. "Hi, Geldis," she said, wincing in embarrassment.

"Vanya." He tilted his head in greeting. "I thought I might check in on you. That maybe you could use a tour?"

Her wince transformed into a full-on grimace. "I'm sorry about the bucket. It was really nice of you to send me the water, I didn't mean to disrespect that."

He shrugged. "It's quite alright. Believe me when I say I've seen much worse. And don't mind Drovas, he's a good lad- if not a little ill-tempered."

Geldis "tour" consisted of leading her straight to the toilets, which he referred to as the privy. "Although most would probably just say 'shithole'," he added with a grin. It was indeed a hole, though it thankfully had a seat. The smell was managed by throwing on handfuls of ash from a bucket kept nearby, which seemed to work surprisingly well.

She thanked Geldis for being so understanding and made her way back to her room to finish preparing to go out. She stepped out of the inn, feeling rather self-conscious wearing only a loose dress and no shoes. She was glad for the satchel she'd picked up in the cave, having it draped across her body provided some comfort as well as a safe place for her bag of gold.  _Teldryn's gold, you mean._  She pushed the thought to the ever crowding back of her mind. Right now she needed to focus on the task at hand. Geldis had mentioned the blacksmith, Glover. She'd met him the previous day and he'd been the first person in this world to ask her name.

She walked across the marketplace toward the forge where the man was working. He seemed to be about average height, his skin tanned from being outside all day, and if she had to guess she'd say he was in his forties. Looking at him immediately put her at ease as he seemed like he could have almost stepped into this world from her own. He was turned away from her, so absorbed in his work he had not noticed her approach. She walked around the forge and waved, catching his attention. He smiled and set down his tools. "Well, Good Day! Vanya, right?"

"Yes, and you're Glover?"

"Glover Mallory. If you haven't guessed, I'm not originally from around here," he said with a wink.

She smiled wryly. "I find that hard to believe."

He chuckled as he cleaned his hands on his apron. "What can I help you with, Vanya? I don't suppose you're here for a set of bonemold armor?"

"No. Uh...no armor. Just regular clothes and shoes," she said, glancing down at her bare feet.

"Ahh, well I do have some clothes but they are made for wearing under armor so they aren't exactly fashionable."

"I'm not looking for fashionable, I'm looking for cheap."

Glover smiled. "I believe I can help you then."

He led Vanya inside to a chest and pulled out a few stacks of shirts and pants. She expected him to leave her to sift through them but was surprised as he helped, pulling out things that he thought would fit. The options were sparse but she ended up finding a pair of green pants and a plain colored tunic. He even allowed her a room to change into her new outfit. Unfortunately, he did not have any shoes that would fit so she'd have to try Fethis' stand, which Glover was so kind to point out across the marketplace. She stashed her borrowed dress into her bag and pulled out the gold to pay Glover. She thanked him one more time and headed toward Fethis, who was sitting on a barrel looking rather bored.

He took notice of her approach and sat up. "Greetings, Outlander. Are you looking to buy?"

"I'm looking for a pair of shoes."

"Ah, yes. I saw you across the way with Glover." He looked at her new outfit. "Should have come here first, we have a much wider variety."

Vanya did not have a chance to respond before Fethis called out to the girl a few yards away who was sorting through items in a crate. "Dreyla! Come, my dear, and help our new customer. What's your name?"

"Vanya."

"Come and help Vanya."

"Yes, father." The girl smiled warmly as she approached and though Vanya didn't have a keen eye for telling these strange looking people apart, she could actually see a familial resemblance between Dreyla and her father. They both had similar expressions and their hair was the exact same shade of brown. Dreyla helped her pick through many pairs of boots, slippers, and sandals. She chose a pair of sandals, in part because they were the lowest price. She also picked up a comb and a sleeping gown and much to her appreciation, Dreyla offered some feminine necessities she had not even had the time to consider. She might have actually died of embarrassment if she had to ask Drovas or Geldis about that.

"So it comes to twenty septims for the lot," Dreyla said when they were finished. Vanya was happy with her items but loath to lose twenty septims, that was two nights stay at the inn. She handed over the gold and Dreyla neatly packed up her things. Instead of saying goodbye, Dreyla gave her a curious look. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Vany replied, knowing what her question would be.

"Where are you from?"

She had been waiting for someone to ask that all day, and yet she didn't know what to say. "Where I'm from..." She paused to think before answering. "I can't remember." Perhaps everyone would believe she had amnesia.

Dreyla looked intrigued but Vanya did not wish to entertain any more questions about it. "I should go. Thanks again for all your help."

Vanya made it back to her room sometime after midday and set her purchases on the bed. Her experiences today had greatly lifted her spirits, the people here were kind despite their harsh appearance. She sighed and laid down. Some time ago, in that terrible cave, she'd given up thinking of home. Her mind skirted the abyss of the grief she knew would come for her, but the hot prick of tears in her eyes got her back on her feet. "No," she told herself.  _Let those thoughts come and I'll lose my will._  Rubbing her eyes a little too hard, she put her mind back to matters at hand. She emptied her bag of remaining gold on the small table. In addition to the twenty to Fethis, she'd spent four septims on her outfit. Glover had apparently given her a steal if Fethis' prices were the standard. She would not have allowed him to take so little if she'd known better. She had fifty-six septims left, good for a few nights a little more food. She shook out the dress Geldis had lent her, tossed a few coins in the pocket of her pants, and set out to return the dress and buy lunch.

* * *

Vanya had been sitting alone in the corner of the main hall for a while, watching the residents as they ate and drank. She had some fried fish with a side of something called an ash yam. It certainly looked like a yam but the flavor was a little different. It had a spice to it that she could best describe as "gingery". At least the food was not totally strange. She had been a little worried that the prevalence of bugs in this culture would extend into their cuisine. Although she did wonder, what was an ash-hopper?

She tensed up at the sight of the newest customer that had walked in. He wasn't nearly as large as the monster- the orc- from the cave but he had the same green skin and protruding teeth. Besides clearing a path for him as he headed toward the bar, the other patrons did not react negatively to his presence. Vanya tried to control her breathing but at the sound of his low gravelly voice, joined by the noise from the rest of the bar, she was yanked against her will back to the dark corner of her torture chamber. She stared with open horror at him until he turned his back and he started moving toward a table against the opposite wall. She took the opportunity to flee to her room, trying not to run but fearing at any moment rough hands would grab her and...

She reached the hallway and broke into a run, nearly crashing into another guest who had just come out of their room. Locking the door behind her, Vanya sank to the floor sucking in ragged breaths. Her mind was racing, the floodgates opened and the fear and doubt she had suppressed came rushing out.  _What am I doing? I can't survive here, I don't belong here._ After a few minutes, her breathing calmed enough that she felt she could get up and move to the bed she could only afford for a few more days. She cried herself to sleep.


	6. Sharing Sujamma

A couple of days had passed since Vanya's panic attack at the sight of the orc. She'd since learned from Geldis that his name was Mogrul and that he was relatively harmless as long as you didn't owe him money. She still avoided him, but she was determined to control the visceral reaction she had when he was nearby. She had more important things to worry about, like her quickly dwindling store of septims. She could afford one more night, two if she didn't eat.

"Morning," she greeted Geldis as she slid onto a barstool.

"Good Morrow, Vanya. Tea?"

"Please. And a couple boiled eggs." Geldis knew that she meant chicken eggs and  _not_  kwama eggs. He'd offered her a boiled egg yesterday morning and she gladly accepted only for him to bring a large reddish egg. When he explained that a kwama was a giant insect she nearly gagged but tried her best to keep composure so she didn't offend him. These people and bugs!

As she ate her breakfast, she pondered what she could possibly do to get some money. She'd spent the last couple days exploring the town, hoping to come across something she thought she could do for work. Fethis didn't need help, nor the farmer, Garyn. She definitely could not help the alchemist, Milore. Apparently, Milore could concoct magic potions from herbs, plants, and of course, bugs. Vanya still had a hard time wrapping her head around magic, though she'd seen and felt it firsthand. It blew her mind when Geldis or Drovas would toss a little fireball into the hearth to perk it up, casual as could be.  _Hearth_  was the correct term, apparently. Her cheeks flushed a little as she remembered how the two men had laughed when she referred to it as a fireplace, Drovas mocking through giggles, "Do you call a bedroll a  _sleeping place_?" She had decided not to offer the term sleeping bag, figuring it might actually kill them with laughter.

"Alright Vanya, I've got something I want you to try," Geldis interrupted her musing, sliding a mug with some mystery liquid sloshing in the bottom.

She pulled the mug to her nose and flinched at the strong alcoholic scent. "Geldis, it's way too early for this. What is it?"

"A special blend of Sujamma that I've been working on. You've never tried Sujamma, correct?"

"Right."

"So I think it would be interesting to get your opinion."

Vanya looked into the mug skeptically.

"It's not made from insects if that's what you're wondering," he added.

Vanya smiled at him.  _That's exactly what I was wondering_. "Ok, I'll try it." She tipped the mug back and took a sip. She swallowed and held back a cough. "It's bitter."

"Yes, perhaps I should have warned you."

The bite of the bitter alcohol was soothed by a light sweetness followed by a strong lingering spice on her tongue. She downed the remainder and slid the mug back toward a very pleased looking Geldis. "So what's in that?"

"Oh, the usual. Ash yam, saltrice, and a few proprietary additions," he said with a wink

"It's good. I'm not exactly a connoisseur but for what it's worth I like it."

"Glad to hear it. Now, I have something else I'd like to ask you."

Vanya was intrigued but hoped it was not a question of a personal nature. "Okay."

"What do you think of taking a tray full of samples around the marketplace this afternoon? I would pay you for your time, of course."

"Really?" Her eyes widened. She wasn't even going to ask how much before accepting, the prospect of actually earning some cash- or septims- was all she needed. "Yeah, I can do that."

Geldis told her he'd pay twenty septims and throw in a couple of free nights and to be ready around midday. She spent the morning flipping through a book that sat on her bedside table. Though she could understand speech with no problem, she had a little trouble deciphering the written word of this world. It reminded her somewhat of Middle English. She could get a gist of the subject matter but could not really grasp any of the finer points of the text. This book seemed to be about a religious temple, having to do with a tribute or maybe tribune? One thing she did understand is that the race of these people was called Dunmer. One of these days, perhaps she would buy a journal from Fethis and try to write some things down to study.

Midday arrived and after a light meal of bread and cheese, Vanya was ready for her task. Geldis presented her with a tray covered in small tumblers about half full. She called upon her couple years of experience as a server and carried the tray with ease up the steps and out into the market.

She did not have trouble finding tasters as it seemed Geldis' talents were very much appreciated. She made sure to share with Fethis, Dreyla, and Glover and maybe it was because she only approached those who she felt were friendly, but no one had refused so far. With only one cup left, she looked around her in search of someone who wasn't scowling or- she shuddered- an orc. She wandered a bit from the town center toward the beach, down the path she had walked when she arrived in Raven Rock and for the first time wondered how Teldryn was doing. She'd been so preoccupied she had not really thought about him, although thinking of him recalled the cave she was trying so hard to forget. She had walked far enough that now the only thing in her line of vision was the billowing volcano that Teldryn had called Red Mountain. Standing on the beach that was more ash than sand, she turned her eyes from the landmark that was so foreign to her and gazed at the small town- with its strange residents and unusual architecture- and felt the sharp sting of homesickness. Before the despair could latch on she pressed it down and walked back the way she came, thinking perhaps she would finish off the last cup of Sujamma herself- and then some.

"Watch out!" someone hissed and Vanya stopped, realizing she had nearly walked into a rather down-trodden looking dunmer woman who'd been crossing the road. Her clothing was tattered on the edges, and her cropped reddish hair seemed to match.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't- "

"You didn't see me, yes I know," the woman cut in as she turned to continue toward a shack that Vanya suspected was her home. "Now if you'll  _excuse me._ "

"Hey! Would you accept this Sujamma as an apology?" Vanya called after her. The offer gained the dunmer woman's attention and she stopped, though her eyes were still slits of suspicion. Vanya approached her as she held out the cup. "Geldis asked me to hand out samples of his new brew."

"I won't turn down Sujamma." The woman took the cup and downed the contents, savoring for a moment with an approving hum before giving a mirthless chuckle, "though it won't do that crusty old boot much good since he threw me out!" She deposited the empty cup back on the tray as if it had been the source of her ire, causing Vanya to have steady the edges of the tray to keep from dropping it.

"Geldis threw you out? Why?"  _Certainly not because of your sweet temperament._

"For buying too much," the woman said tartly, folding her arms.

"That doesn't...make sense." Vanya's brow furrowed at the thought of the barkeep banishing someone for giving him too much gold. The defensive way the woman held herself told her that there was more it than that. Perhaps she had become belligerent, that did not seem outside the realm of possibility.

"I agree."

Vanya could not help the crooked smile that crept across her lips at this strange encounter. She looked at the woman and despite her blue-gray skin she could see a flush on her face that indicated the Sujamma was probably not her first drink of the day. Then she looked at the rickety shack and the smile faded as she saw visions of homeless people in her world, sitting in alleyways and on street corners begging for anything to help them get by. Her eyes slid back to the woman who fairly hissed, "Don't look at me like that. I know what I am."

"No, please. Don't be upset. I..." Vanya looked at the tray she carried, her one and only source of income so far. "I'll probably be out here on the streets soon, too. I'm doing this job to get a couple more nights at the inn, but after that I don't know how I'll keep a roof over my head."

Ruby eyes softened as the woman sighed, "Such is the lot of this accursed town, though I've not seen you before today. Who are you?"

"My name is Vanya."

"I'm Bralsa Drel. Let me give you a piece of advice, Vanya. Take what gold you have and go back to where you came from if you can. This is not a place you want to be."

Bralsa's words pierced Vanya so thoroughly she could not form a reply before the dunmer turned away and entered the shack, her eyes welling up as she stared at the closed door. Her lids fluttered shut, pushing tears down her cheeks as her heart twisted in her chest. She was trying so hard. She could not dwell on what she had lost as it only served to turn her into a sobbing mess, threatening to cast her into the depths of sorrow she did not wish to explore because if she did she may not make it back. Her life had been spared. It was all she had and she would do what she needed to keep hold of it. Resolutely, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a few deep breaths to steady herself before she returned to collect her pay.


	7. The Red Year

By the time she walked through the doors of the inn, she had blinked away the remnants of her tears and hoped her face had not reddened enough to give her away. Drovas was sweeping nearby the entrance and gave her his customary glower. She had tried a couple of times to apologize to him but he wouldn't hear it, the dunmer seeming absolutely determined to think the worst of her. Though it made her uncomfortable that she could not get through to him, she realized that he was one of those people that just wanted to be angry. She was thankful at least that- to her knowledge- he had a measure of honor was keeping the story to himself.

Geldis saw her approaching with the tray of empty cups. "Well, how did it go?"

"Everyone loved it. You brew is a hit!" she replied as she slid the tray toward him on the bar.

"Ah, wonderful. Now to see if anyone will come and buy it. Sometimes I wonder why I try with the way this town is dying." He moved to pick up the tray to begin cleaning the cups, but before he could step away Vanya stopped him.

"About that, there was an interesting woman I met who said you won't accept any more of her money?"

"Bralsa?" Geldis gave her an exasperated expression. "Look, I watched her go from richer than Councilor Morvayn to begging for septims for her next drink. I couldn't allow it to go on."

"Why did she run out?"

"The same reason as all of us," Geldis sighed. "The ebony mine here used to bring the town a lot of wealth. When the mine dried up, Bralsa and many others had nothing to do for a living. Most people left, but the few who stayed behind have been struggling. It's not only that she was starting to beg my other customers to buy her drinks that made me turn her out, I just couldn't bear to watch her fall apart anymore."

"Wow. How long has the mine been closed?"

"Something like...twenty years? Maybe more," Geldis shrugged.

"Twenty? Twenty years. I'm sorry, Geldis, how old are you?" Admittedly she would be a terrible judge of age for dunmer, but twenty years seemed a long time for him to just shrug it off. Fortunately, he did not seem to think the question rude.

"I was one hundred- ninety one when Red Mountain erupted, so that puts me at..." Geldis made a face as his mind worked some calculations. "Three hundred- eighty-seven."

Vanya gaped. "Three hundred... thr- what?" she stuttered in disbelief. This world kept getting crazier, she couldn't keep up. She felt absolutely infantile at twenty-six.

"Vanya, I must say that you bewilder me just a much as I bewilder you. You must be from a very far away land."

She simply nodded her head. "Yeah."

"How is it you came to be here?" he asked.

She picked at a grain line in the wooden counter. "I wish I knew."

Geldis mercifully did not press for more. "I can assure you that most living here are wishing to be somewhere else as well. The only reason myself and any other dunmer are on this island is because of that smoking mountain out there. You're not alone in your misery." He chuckled as Vanya looked up at him. "That's supposed to make you feel better, by the way."

She smiled as she quipped, "Misery loves company."

At that, he laughed. "Yes, yes! I may have to see if Councilor Morvayn will get that engraved on the Bulwark."

Vanya could not help laughing along with him. Geldis picked up the tray to head to the kitchen but again stopped. "Oh, here is your pay." He pulled a small bag from his pocket and slid it across the counter.

"Thank you." Vanya was relieved, feeling the weight of the gold in her hand. She had a few more days. She sat sipping tea at the bar as Geldis and Drovas served the few residents who stopped in for lunch. Geldis had left the teapot on the counter for her so she could refill if she liked. She wondered what it would be like to live for three hundred years. Could she live that long, now that she was here? The subject was on her mind through the lunch hour until the tavern cleared out and Geldis settled himself in his usual spot leaning on the counter. She filled her cup once more.

"Geldis?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell me about Red Mountain? You were there when it happened?"

"Yes, I was a young mer then," he said with a smirk. He picked up a mug and filled it part way with Sujamma, taking a sip."There are not many occasions to tell the story, everyone but young children know it. And you may have noticed there are not many children here." He leaned in with a conspiratorial smile, "Perhaps there will be soon if Captain Veleth can finally wrest Dreyla from her father, but you didn't hear that from me." Vanya's eyes widened at the bit of gossip.

Geldis continued, "As for me, I was raised in a place called Fort Pelagiad, it was an imperial settlement between Vivec and Balmora. My mother owned a tavern there, and though I never knew my father personally she gave me his name instead of hers. I remember the eruption as if it happened yesterday. I was smoking in the storeroom, shirking my duties, when I felt the floor shake. Soon a deafening thunderclap got me on my feet and I ran outside to see what was happening. The sky was nearly black with smoke, fireballs falling all over though thankfully not quite reaching our settlement. I found my mother and we were trying to secure our property when a great rift tore right through the center of the fort. Dropping everything, we ran with only the clothes on our backs to get away from the destruction. Some of my friends fell into the chasm, I saw them..." He had a faraway look in his eye for a moment before coming back to the present. "We were lucky to escape but the air was toxic, we could scarcely breathe and my mother fell ill. She passed on not long after." He looked down into his cup. "Her name was Drelasa."

Vanya shook her head sympathetically. "I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible."

"It was a hard time for all of us. I scraped by with a group of survivors. Vivec had been obliterated, Balmora was in worse shape than Pelagiad. We didn't know where to go but soon the Redoran guard showed up and aided us. Some stayed to rebuild but I left with a convoy to Blacklight. I stayed there for a short time until House Redoran gained control of Solstheim. I was on the first boat out. I opened this place up and have been here ever since."

"That's incredible." Vanya was in awe at the hardship so many of these people had obviously been through.

"I can only hope to do my mother's memory proud. This is the only thing I know." He gestured to the tavern. "I'm not sure what I'll do if the town is abandoned."

* * *

That night Vanya thought long and hard about what her choices really were. Ten septims a night was getting awfully expensive and there was hardly any work to be done that paid enough to live on that didn't require skill in combat. She could afford maybe four more days and then, what?

As her eyes grew heavy she decided that she'd go see Bralsa tomorrow.


	8. A Lucky Break

Vanya was standing outside the door to the shack she'd seen Bralsa enter the previous day. After a few false starts, she finally raised her fist to knock on the door which rattled on its hinges more violently than she intended.

She heard some rustling and grunting before the door squeaked open just enough for her to see a haggard-looking dunmer man with shaggy brown hair and a long beard peering through the crack.

"Oh, I'm...uh...looking for Bralsa," Vanya said.

"What, does she owe you money?" the man barked. "I can assure you there is no money here."

"No, no. I just wanted to...um..." Vanya was beginning to give up on her plan. If Bralsa lived alone it might have worked but the shack was small and three would definitely be a crowd.

The door swung open fully and Bralsa nudged the man away. "She said she wanted me, what business is it of yours what for, Rirns?" The man shrugged and retreated into a corner that obviously served as his living space.

"Hello, Vanya," Bralsa greeted, sounding curious.

"Hi." Vanya was now feeling supremely uncomfortable. She tried in vain to think of an excuse for visiting, but should she think of one her rather desperate situation did not afford her the luxury of giving it. She pressed on. "Can we talk privately?"

"Alright." Bralsa shut the door behind her and they walked a bit before she broke the silence, "so..?"

Vanya gestured toward the shack. "Is...is that man your...?"

"Rirns? Are you joking? I may be beggarly but I'm not that desperate," Bralsa replied before adding, "Why, are you sweet on me?" She gave Vanya a friendly nudge.

Vanya laughed, "No, but I was going to ask if...well... I didn't realize you already had a roommate."

"Oh," Bralsa stopped and faced her. "but you don't want to live in that shack, Vanya.  _I_  don't want to live in that shack."

"I know, but the fact is I'm running out of money fast and there are no jobs for me. It's either I go out on the street while I still have a dime, or go out on the street when I'm flat broke."

"While I don't know what a dime is, I do get your meaning. There must be something you can do. "

"I've asked around! Everything requires skills I don't have. I worked in accounting, for chrissakes."

Bralsa tilted her head. "You speak so strangely."

Vanya intercepted the follow-up question. "Don't ask me where I'm from, I don't remember." She waved a hand dismissively.

Bralsa smiled. "Alright, I won't. But I advise you to not make any rash decisions. I think you should give this a couple more days."

"If you're so sure then how come you have not found work?" Vanya challenged, her frustration bubbling to the surface. She was at the mercy of a world in which she did not know the rules, and even if she did she was devastatingly ill-prepared.

Bralsa's ruby eyes glinted with irritation. "Mining is all I've ever done. By the time I realized the mine was truly lost, I'd drunk away too much of my fortune to afford to leave this gods-forsaken place. At this point, it's all I can do to keep my mind addled enough to forget that all my best years are behind me. Does that answer your question?"

"Sorry," Vanya offered quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just feeling so stressed. I shouldn't have said that." She felt a wave of guilt for being so rude, especially toward someone she was trying to ask for help. She was behaving like a trapped animal.

"It's alright, I'm not upset," Bralsa soothed. "But you are far too young to be giving up. A beggar's life is not a good one."

Vanya sighed, "If I run out of money, I may have no choice."

"Then, you'll have no choice. But for now, wait."

* * *

Vanya returned to the Retching Netch in slightly better spirits. Upon entering she nearly bumped into Drovas at the door, who was carrying a pack on his shoulder that looked suspiciously like all his personal belongings.

"Farewell!" He said cheerfully as he breezed past and out of the building. Thoroughly confused, Vanya headed down the stairs to the tavern to find Geldis. She approached the counter and could hear him muttering to himself in the kitchen. Walking behind the counter, she peeked into the room. "Geldis?"

"You know, is it too much to ask for him to at least finish out the day? The damned courier is still out there finishing his drink and the fetcher has already run off!" He tossed a dirty plate into a bucket of water with a splash.

"Drovas quit?" It figured that he'd only sound friendly when saying goodbye.

"The messenger out there came from Tel Mithryn. Apparently, Master Neloth requires a new steward and Drovas seems to think he's ideal for the job." Geldis sighed, "I suppose with his haughty attitude he'll fit right in with the Telvanni. Still, you'd think after so many years he'd do me the courtesy of a little notice."

"I'm sorry, Geldis. " Vanya didn't much like Drovas but Geldis seemed to care for him. She wondered how many years he'd been employed, considering the Dunmer lifespan.

"I don't have time to be sorry, I've got to get cleaned up from breakfast and get lunch going, clean the bar, sweep the entryway..."

"Geldis!" Vanya interrupted his frenzy. He stopped and looked at her, slightly annoyed. She gestured toward herself dramatically, "Perhaps I can help? Not like I've got anywhere else to be."

"My dear!" He approached her with his arms outstretched, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Yes, yes. In time you can learn the drink and food but if you would help me clean, Vanya, you will more than earn your keep."

Vanya smiled widely.  _That was fast._ She would have to ask Bralsa if she could see the future.

"First I'll have you clean these dishes and when you're finished I'll give you the next task. I'm going to begin preparations for lunch." Geldis hurried off and Vanya got to work.


	9. Hounded by Collections

The first couple of days had been absolutely exhausting. She had moved to an employee sleeping quarter just off the kitchen that had three beds, which showed how much busier the place used to be. Each bed had a nightstand on one side and a small trunk at the foot which locked with a key. Geldis had a small room down a short stairwell.

Vanya had cleaned non-stop between dishes, rooms, and simply keeping ash from building up on the floors. Now that she was getting the hang of the routine and had learned where everything was, it didn't seem so hard. Every morning she got up and went out to the well to start filling buckets for tea and cooking. Geldis helped her haul the water in and prepared the fires. He was a little perturbed by the fact that she could not- or would not for all he knew- use magic to stoke the flames of the hearth but he did not press her about it, instead muttering something about human stubbornness. He set about cooking while she set up the pots to boil water. Geldis was quite eager to teach Vanya the cooking as he'd long had Drovas doing it and preferred to spend his time tending bar or with his brewing experiments. That meant that Vanya had to suck it up and taste all the bugs. She'd managed to keep everything down by simply denying in her mind that kwama, scrib, nix-hound, and ash-hopper were insects. She needed this job and cognitive dissonance was the only way she was going to get through.

It was fortunate, really, that the place was not overly busy and the usual patrons were simply townsfolk who didn't want to bother cooking for themselves. Though Vanya felt overwhelmed learning all the new ingredients and dishes, it was an ideal pace and the customers were very understanding. It turned out that some, such as Fethis and Garyn, did not even pay with gold but instead had a barter arrangement set up. There was simply so little outside gold coming in that it was easier to trade goods and services. That also meant that there was not much gold to pay her with, though Geldis did pay her a little on top of free room and board. She wasn't going to complain at all. She also enjoyed getting to know everyone. Having kept mostly to herself since her arrival, focused on trying to get by, it was nice to relax and talk to people.

She'd just finished delivering breakfast to Captain Veleth and Dreyla when she heard Geldis exclaim, "You can't be serious!?"

Vanya approached the bar and noticed Mogrul leaning over the counter, his dunmer bodyguard standing menacingly behind him. "Geldis, do I look like I'm joking?" Mogrul growled. Geldis did not reply but looked tremendously irritated. "I expect payment by Fredas. Or you know what happens," the orc said before he stalked out of the tavern.

"What was that all about?" Vanya asked after she was sure he was gone.

"Apparently, Drovas borrowed a thousand septims from Mogrul," Geldis spat. "I told that boy not to borrow from him, I told him."

"A thousand septims? What did he need that for?"

"I don't know, he was always buying spellbooks and enchanted rings and such." Geldis threw his hands up in frustration. "But now that he's gone and Mogrul cannot reach him, that N'wah expects me to pay the debt! Absolute lunacy, I'm not his kin!"

"How can he expect that? Can't you get, like, Captain Veleth to get him off your back?" Vanya lowered her voice a bit to not draw the captain's attention.

"The guard is not going to get involved with money squabbles, stretched thin as they are. And what can I do? If I don't pay him he'll send thugs to extract his due by force. I don't have that kind of coin just laying around."

Vanya knit her brow, thinking for a moment. "Can we send Drovas a letter?"

"We will not receive a response in time." Geldis seemed resigned to his fate.

They had to get back to work but Vanya continued thinking about the problem for the rest of the day. There must be something they could do to get out of the debt- or at least reduce it.

Late that night when the dinner patrons were gone and only Glover and a couple of guards sat at a table with drinks, Vanya knocked on the open door of Geldis room. He was sitting at his desk writing notes in his ledger.

"Hmm?" he responded, not looking up.

"I've been thinking," Vanya said.

"Let's hear it."

"Let's write Drovas a letter telling him he owes a thousand septims, then try to reason with Mogrul to reduce the debt, pay it, then if and when Drovas sends any money it can be payback."

Geldis tapped the feather of his quill against his chin. "Hmmm, possibly. He may not respond, the fetcher. He's untouchable in that Telvanni mushroom tower."

The mushroom tower comment gave Vanya pause, but she continued, "Maybe, but perhaps he will since you have a history with him. It's worth a shot, right?"

"One problem." The dunmer looked at her. "How do you propose bargaining with Mogrul?"

Vanya approached his desk, leaning on it with one hand as she lowered her voice. "What can you afford, Geldis? The absolute most?"

He pursed his lips and considered a moment before answering. "If I really stretch I could come up with seven hundred septims, but that's cleaning me out."

She nodded thoughtfully. When she was twenty-two she'd made some bad choices with credit cards and ended up being hounded by debt collectors. If her experience with them had taught her anything, they were often willing to settle the debt for less just to be done chasing people down.

"What are you thinking?" Geldis interrupted.

"Well, I imagine Mogrul has spent some coin trying to extract the debt from Drovas but has failed so he's already out some money on the deal. I don't know how much he pays his thugs but I'm sure they don't come cheap so he may not be too keen on paying them a second time on the same debt. If we could offer him an amount that breaks him something close to even, he may agree."

Geldis thought on it and his expression showed he was following her logic. "Yes, that might work. That might work. But you would have to be the one to do it."

Vanya's eyes widened. "Me? Why?"

"Mogrul already doesn't like me. He won't be very amenable to anything I propose to him. You, on the other hand, he may not have formed an opinion about. You have a certain charm and it may just be enough to make him forget that the deal is benefiting me."

Vanya wanted to thank him for the compliment but her mind was frozen with dread at the prospect of even approaching Mogrul, let alone trying to speak to him. She had served the orc and his dunmer bodyguard their meals but as they had the same thing every day- ash yam with fried horker steak and nix hound with saltrice, respectively- all she had to do was set it on the table and leave. Mogrul never so much as glanced at her and she certainly didn't stick around to see if he was enjoying his meal.

She would rather beg on the streets for the money. "I can't do it, I can't."

"How come? He's after me, the worst he would do to you is refuse. He pays others to do his dirty work and Slitter is there for his protection, not as enforcement."

"I...I just can't." She was trying to keep from shaking but by the look on Geldis' face, she knew her fear was clearly visible. "I'm sorry," She said as she left the room to return to her work.

That night, she tossed and turned with nightmares about her time in the cave. She gave up on sleep and lay staring at the ceiling. She felt rather guilty for coming up with a plan to try and help, then backing out like that. She also didn't want to tell Geldis the details of her experience, for all he knew she was found just wandering the woods. She wanted desperately to help him, but she was certain that she would fumble the whole thing out of fear. Dealing with Mogrul personally was just out of the question.

* * *

The next morning, after breakfast was over, Vanya paid Bralsa a visit. She had taken to stopping by the shack most days and she and Bralsa, different as they were, had become friends. Even Rirns welcomed her as she often brought leftover food to share.

Usually, the three sat on the floor of the shack with the door open for air, but today Vanya wanted to talk privately with Bralsa. Rirns was quite content to be left alone to eat so the two women headed toward the shore. They chatted idly as they walked until they reached a large rock, where they decided to sit.

"So what is it?" Bralsa asked.

Vanya took a deep breath, "I need to talk about what happened to me when I got here."

"To Raven Rock?"

"No, to..." She nearly said Nirn but thought better of it. "Solstheim."

"Alright, go ahead."

Bralsa listened as Vanya recounted the events of her first days on Solstheim, encouraging her to continue when the memories became too painful to put into words. Bralsa winced as she described the worst of it- when the orc had gotten a hold of her. She finished with being rescued and Teldryn dropping her off in Raven Rock. When her tale was over, she felt like a candle had been lit in a dark corner of her heart.

"Vanya, I had no idea. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

Vanya huffed, "Me, too."

"And you don't remember where you are from? Or how you got here?"

A knot formed in Vanya's stomach. Though it had been therapeutic to talk through her experiences on Nirn, she was not prepared to delve into her life before. "No, I barely knew my own name when I came to," she lied.

Bralsa nodded, accepting her answer.

"Thank you for listening, Bralsa. You are the only person I've told."

"The deepest secrets of your heart are safe with me, my friend."

They smiled at each other and both looked out into the distance at the only thing there was to see- Red Mountain. After a few moments of companionable silence, Vanya asked, "Do you know much about Mogrul?"

Bralsa snapped her head to look at her. "Why?" she barked. "You aren't thinking of borrowing from him are you?"

"No!" Vanya replied quickly. "No, nothing like that. It's just that Drovas left a debt unpaid and now Mogrul is after Geldis for it. We have a plan to try and bargain with him but Geldis thinks that I should be the one to talk to him. He says Mogrul doesn't like him."

"Drovas," Bralsa said his name like a curse. "He really is pathetic. You know, at least when I've begged for money I don't make anyone think I plan on paying them back." Her stern expression cracked into a grin as Vanya laughed.

"That's terrible!" Vanya said between giggles. "But also true, I guess." The levity was brief and she sighed. "I want to help Geldis, but when I look at Mogrul all I can see is that orc in the cave. I don't think I can do it."

Bralsa scoffed, "Mogrul is a coward. Look at where he is, preying on people up to their eyes in ash and poverty, paying others to handle anything beyond giving dirty looks. You don't need to be afraid of him. And besides, if you should fail it's not  _your_  hide on the line. Look at it this way, if you don't try then Geldis gets roughed up. If you do try, Geldis  _might_  get roughed up." The dunmer woman smiled. "Either way you're safe, you're not his family. Mogrul won't touch you."

Vanya considered for a moment. If what Bralsa said was true it heartened her considerably. She was a little skeptical since Mogrul had no qualms about going after Geldis when he was not related to Drovas, but she really did want to help.

Bralsa interrupted her thoughts. "The sun is pretty high, I think it's time to be heading back. Geldis will be looking for you."

"Oh, you're right!" The pair hopped off the rock and started back toward the center of town. "If it goes badly, can I stay with you so I'm not collateral damage?" Vanya asked, only half joking.

Bralsa put her arm around Vanya's shoulder. "You won't fail. And stop trying to move in with me."

* * *

When Mogrul came in that day, Vanya watched him closely. He wasn't nearly as tall as the orc from the cave, nor was he as muscular. In fact, he didn't wear a shred of armor and looked as if he hadn't seen much fighting. The same could not be said for Slitter. The dunmer bodyguard was a silent sentinel and looked as if he'd cut your throat if you so much as looked at his boss wrong.  _Obviously how he got his name._  He was certainly the more intimidating of the two, but she figured if she spoke politely she'd have no reason to worry.

Later that night, Vanya informed Geldis she had changed her mind. They talked over the plan and decided that tomorrow when Mogrul came in for lunch, she would execute it.


	10. A Fairly Unfair Deal

Vanya had hardly slept for the second night in a row. She was sure that she was only able to function from pure adrenaline. Mogrul was finishing his lunch and taking his last swigs of mead. It was nearly time.

She and Geldis shared one last look as he handed her a new bottle of mead. "Azura guide you," he whispered. She turned and headed across the room. Slitter was eyeing her as she approached and Mogrul did not look up until she set the bottle in front of him. He pinned her with his beady yellow eyes, waiting for an explanation.

"On the house." Vanya motioned toward the drink. "May I sit?"

"Go ahead," he replied. She sat quickly without a word. "How much do you need?"

"Uh, I don't want to borrow money. I'm actually wanting to talk to you about the debt that Drovas has left unpaid." Vanya struggled to keep her voice steady as the orc scrutinized her.

"Do you have a thousand gold coins in that apron pocket of yours?"

"N-no...but..."

"Then we've nothing to talk about." He sat back in his chair as if to end the conversation.

 _What an asshole!_  He wasn't even giving her a chance to explain. "I assume you've not had any luck getting ahold of him?"

Mogrul looked slightly annoyed and Slitter shifted in his seat, but with a sign from his boss, he relaxed. "The Telvanni are not exactly the welcoming sort. The men I've sent to retrieve my gold have not returned. It's why the debt has fallen to Geldis."

She was greatly encouraged to hear that he'd indeed already invested some money into this. "Geldis certainly wants to make things right, which is why we have spent the last couple of days searching every chest and cupboard..." Vanya pulled a bag of gold from her apron. "under every mattress..." She set it on the table. "and managed five hundred and twelve septims." Even though Geldis could afford a little over seven hundred, they'd decided to start low just in case. This way if Mogrul bargained for more they knew they could make it happen.

As it stood, Mogrul was giving her a rather withering look.

"It's all we have, you know times are hard," she pressed.

"Yes, for you and every other person in this town. Why do you think people borrow money?" He seemed to be losing his patience.

"Geldis  _didn't_  borrow money," Vanya corrected, a little more sternly than she would have liked. Slitter again shifted in his seat and was again calmed by a signal from his boss. She could not help her outburst, it was completely unjust for him to expect poor Geldis to cough up money he'd never even benefited from.

Mogrul's expression seemed to be one of contemplation, though she had to be honest it was hard to tell. Orc features were so different from human, and even elven, that she was not good at reading them. When he finally spoke his tone was calmer. "Five hundred and twelve? How do I know you are telling the truth?"

Hope bloomed in her chest. Was this actually working? She steeled her nerves once more, forcing herself to continue, "Well, you could take my word for it or- you could pay your thugs from the five hundred and twelve septims they would extract." She gestured toward the bag on the table. "Because it's really all we have."

At this Mogrul crossed his arms and looked at her through narrowed eyes. It took all her willpower to hold his gaze, but a few moments later he finally broke the tense silence with a deep, rumbling laugh. "She's a bold one, isn't she, Slitter?" Slitter made no reply, only tilted his head slightly as Vanya ventured a glance his way. Meeting his eyes sent a shiver down her spine so she quickly turned back to the still grinning Mogrul. He reached for the bottle and took a long drink. "It seems you've caught me in a good mood today," he said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand then reaching for the bag of gold. "If there is the amount that you claim inside, then we will consider this a done deal."

A glimmer of excitement sparked inside her, but she remained tense as Mogrul stacked gold coins across the table, counting aloud. She and Geldis had both painstakingly counted and confirmed the amount, she knew it was right but until Mogrul finished his count she could not relax.

"Five hundred...five hundred-ten...and two makes five hundred- twelve."

"So, we're good?" Vanya offered her hand to shake. She was eager to have this done, lest he change his mind.

"It would seem so." He gave her a quick, firm shake, then occupied himself with returning the money to the bag. "You can go," he said, without looking up.

She was already out of her seat, quelling the urge to run. She'd done it. She'd actually done it!

* * *

"He accepted? " Geldis cried as soon as she entered the kitchen. Vanya nodded, matching his expression of disbelief.

Her eyes grew even wider when he pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Vanya. Thank you. I am in your debt!" She laughed as he backed away. "Er, poor choice of words, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, no more debts.  _Please."_

Geldis leaned in, speaking under his breath, "In any case, if Drovas sends us anything you will share in the spoils. You are the mastermind after all."

She shook her head. "I would not ask for that." Then it occurred to her that there was a request that she'd been waiting for the right moment to put forth. "But I do have a favor to ask."

"Speak, and it is yours," he replied magnanimously.

"Can you let Bralsa come back?" His good humor seemed to falter a bit so she quickly added, "If it helps, she is the one who encouraged me to talk to Mogrul. And I'm pretty sure she learned her lesson. I can cut her off if she's having too much. I- "

He put his hand up to silence her. "I know she's your friend. And because of that, I will allow it."

She squealed and now it was Geldis' turn to receive a hug. He was still speaking as she squeezed him, " _But_  impress upon her that she is not to beg other patrons to buy her drinks."

She released him. "Of course. Thank you, Geldis."

They heard the voices and footfalls of customers walking in and shared a knowing look. "Time to get back to work," Vanya said as she gave Geldis a friendly nudge on the shoulder before turning to exit the kitchen.

* * *

It was a couple weeks later when a courier arrived with Drovas' reply that the pair had all but given up on. Geldis seemed relieved that his relationship with the younger mer had been enough to draw a response, but the tone of the letter was curt and dismissive. Not to mention the cheapskate had only sent two-hundred and fifty septims!

Still, Geldis held to his word and split the sum with Vanya. To him, one hundred and twenty-five septims was not an amount to get particularly excited about, but to Vanya is was a windfall.  _And now I have enough to repay Teldryn!_

_Should he ever return._


	11. A New Old Face

The now familiar routine at the Netch blurred the days together. Vanya truly looked like she belonged. She had traded her rough green trousers for a soft pair made of brown leather. Her plain colored tunic was replaced with a finer one of light blue cotton along with a leather belt to which she could attach a small satchel when she needed to run errands. She still wore sandals, but her new ones were far more comfortable.

It was a day like any other, just after breakfast. Vanya was carrying dishes through the archway to the kitchen when she heard a commotion up the stairs. The excited voices grew louder as a small crowd filed out of the stairway.

"What's going on?" Vanya asked as she approached Geldis, who was leaning far over the bar to see the crowd. He echoed the question in their direction.

"Hey! What's going on?"

A girl named Mirri Severin replied, "It's the Dragonborn!"

As she said it, his towering form appeared. He was wearing the same boney armor Vanya remembered, but he had removed his helmet so she fully saw his face. He looked every bit like how she imagined a Viking to look. He had a beard that was not overly long and his blonde hair tied back with a small braid on either side. He moved forward through the group of fawning admirers, graciously accepting their praise.

Geldis approached the crowd waving his hands as if to scatter wild animals. "Let the man have a bit of room! Don't you all have work to be doing, or are you planning on buying something? No? Clear out then!"

Geldis' scolding backed the crowd off enough for Roggir to break free. The man in the dark armor, who she remembered was named Erik, followed and it looked as if his armor had seen better days. He'd also removed his helmet and looked to be a nord as well. His blonde hair was cut shorter and perhaps a shade darker than Roggir's. He was more handsome and definitely younger, possibly younger than her. Then she saw the curve of the unusual chitin armor and let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. To her disappointment, Teldryn was still wearing his helmet and scarf. As Geldis and the trio made their way toward the bar, Geldis called out to her. "Two Honningbrew and a sujamma! Make haste!"

* * *

The woman that whirled away into the kitchen at Geldis' command was nearly unrecognizable to the one he'd left in the marketplace. He knew it was Vanya though he hadn't seen her face- unless there was another human woman with dark brown hair that had moved into town. He sat at the bar with Roggir and Erik, nodding his head at acknowledgment from Geldis before the barkeep turned his full attention back to the Dragonborn. When Vanya returned and handed off the bottles to Geldis to open, she glanced briefly his direction before picking up a mug to fill from the tap. Teldryn was glad he'd left his helmet on for the moment as it allowed him to freely assess her. She had put on a little weight, at least enough that her feminine curves were more evident as she bent over slightly at the keg. Her hair, tied in a braid from which a few strands had escaped, looked nearly black but for the warmth that glowed in the reflection of the lantern light. Dark lashes framed her lowered eyelids, contrasting against the smooth skin of her cheeks as she focused on her task.

Erik's voice broke his trance. "Hey! You're that one girl aren't you? From the cave!" He nudged Roggir. "Remember?"

The slightest of shadows crossed her expression as she straightened up, disappearing as she blinked. She smiled as she set Teldryn's drink in front of him. "Yes, it's me," she replied.

"Wow! You look amazing!" Erik's eyes were nearly out of his head, and Teldryn had a mind to finish the job. He'd gotten used to the boy but every so often he was irritating. Like now.

She blushed lightly. "Thank you. And really, thank you all for saving my life. I wouldn't be here without you." At her last statement, her dark eyes landed on Teldryn.

Roggir replied, "I'm pleased you are doing so well. It's a good thing Teldryn decided to bring you this way. You're a much friendlier face than Drovas. He fits in well at Neloth's, if you were wondering." He nodded toward Geldis, who muttered 'fetcher' under his breath. Roggir, unfazed, looked back to Vanya "As fate would have it, we brought another woman here today, rescued from Highpoint tower. Though she was in a much poorer state than you. We left her with Milore just before coming in here. I wasn't sure she would make it, to be honest."

"Oh," Vanya breathed, her eyes full of empathy. "I hope she'll be alright."

Teldryn opened his mouth to assure her when Erik cut in. "I had to carry her. She is ill with something even Teldryn's magic couldn't fix and he's fixed me up loads of times." Erik glanced over at him, smiling.

He pulled off his helmet and set it on the counter, picking up his sujamma with a smirk. "Perhaps if I didn't exhaust all my magicka on you I'd have more for others."

He took a sip as the nords laughed and Erik defended himself. "Hey, I get into the thick of it so you don't have to, old man."

Teldryn scoffed, "I am ever so grateful for your generosity."

It was true that Erik regularly took beatings that would put himself out of commission if he experienced the same, he would not deny it. He was more the 'divide and conquer' type, rather than rushing headlong into open melee like the young man seemed to relish. Roggir was also more calculated in his battle approach, though he suspected it was not out of self-preservation. Perhaps he just liked being efficient. The few times he'd seen a weapon scratch the Dragonborn's armor, the unfortunate wielder was meted out such a swift and vicious death that Teldryn was, to be truly honest, a little bit fearful of the power this man possessed.

"What's her name?" Vanya's gentle voice caught all their attention. She looked to each man, again landing on Teldryn last who met her eyes without his helmet for the first time. "The woman you brought back?"

"Niyya," he answered. He'd made sure to ask, still remembering how foolish he'd felt for not asking Vanya for hers. She only nodded in reply while chewing her bottom lip.

Geldis piped up, "It sounds like you've been very busy, you must be hungry!"

Roggir and Erik hummed in agreement, ordering chicken eggs, fish, bread and cheese. They were not accustomed to Dunmer meals and both would grimace when he would collect ash-hopper meat to cook for himself. It didn't really bother him that he didn't have to share.

"And for you, Teldryn?"

"Kwama egg- fried, and some bread with scrib jelly." He looked proudly at the two nords, who were predictably curling their lips in distaste. "Forget to order your milk?" he taunted as he took a sip of sujamma.

"Eat shit," Erik replied with a smirk. "Oh wait, you already do."

Geldis cut in, unable to suppress a smile, "Hey now, I think it's my turn to take offense. Vanya, get these orders started, please, while I show them to their rooms."

Roggir and Erik stood, but Teldryn stayed, catching the key that Geldis tossed his way. He knew where his room was. Besides, they would likely not be spending the night if all went to plan. The barkeep led the nords down the hallway and Teldryn was blessedly alone. He heard Vanya moving about the kitchen, catching a glimpse every so often as she prepared the meals. He was impressed with the way she had carved a place for herself after her rough start in this world. He then wondered if the relationship between her and Geldis was just business.  _But why should I care?_  He was long past the days where casual encounters amused him and he was most definitely not looking to settle down. He didn't care, he couldn't care.  _But surely not. Geldis is...what...four hundred years old?_

By the time the  _ancient_  barkeep returned, Vanya was setting Teldryn's meal in front of him with two other plates balanced in her other hand.

"My thanks." He smiled and she returned it warmly.

"Vanya, The Dragonborn and Erik will take their meals in their rooms," said Geldis.

"Of course," she replied, casting one final glance at Teldryn before taking off across the room to deliver the plates. Teldryn took a bite and chewed, following her with his eyes as she made her way across the tavern, the tail of her braid swinging ever so slightly just above the bow of her apron ties that indicated a pleasingly narrow waist. He turned back around and was met with an amused and scrutinizing look from Geldis.

"What?"

"Nothing at all," Geldis replied, smirking. The barkeep went into the kitchen and left him to eat in silence.  _So there's nothing between them, then._  Teldryn was sure that Geldis' reaction to his leering would have been much different otherwise. Not that it mattered to him. The relief he felt told him differently, but he had already decided that his mind was not going to go there.

Moments later, Vanya returned behind the bar and approached him. "So how is it?" she asked, motioning to the plate.

"Excellent," he replied truthfully.

"Good." She seemed relieved as she leaned her elbows on the counter. "It's not exactly hard to screw up a kwama egg but I've managed to do it a few times. I still have trouble with ash yams, I think it's the spices. I can't seem to get the proportions right."

Teldryn was finished eating and sipped his drink. "You look well, Vanya."

"Thanks. I feel well. I'd say the same for you, but this is the first time seeing your face." She looked at his helmet on the counter, reaching out to press her finger onto a crack that had unfortunately been inflicted on it. "That looks like it hurt."

"Yes," he drawled as he watched her. "My head hurt for a couple days after that one but the s'wit who did it doesn't have to worry about his head anymore."

She grimaced slightly as she pulled her hand back. "Can it be fixed?"

"Oh yes, I'll take it to Glover today. The real question is, will he have time while trying to remake Erik's battered armor."

"So you aren't staying long?"

"No, we are here to go into the mine looking for something that Master Neloth claims to be there." He was skeptical, but he was not going to question a Telvanni wizard. It's not good for one's health.

"Do you think you'll find what you're looking for?" She was certainly full of questions, though he found he didn't mind.

"Don't know," he said with a shrug. "Honestly, I don't really care. I'm being paid to go, so I'll go."

She raised her eyebrows and then nodded in understanding. "So what is it you are looking for then?"

Teldryn knit his brow and took a drink, wondering if he should say anything. The people of Raven Rock would not likely be keen to learn Roggir was searching for artifacts that would lead to Hermaeus Mora himself. Before he could decide what to say Geldis' voice rang from the kitchen.

"Vanya, your help please?"

"Coming!" she called back then glanced at his mug. "Do you want a refill before I go?"

"I shouldn't, I need to be getting this helmet to Glover anyway."

Vanya nodded, picking up his plate with a grin. "First come, first serve. Right?"

He smirked. "Precisely."

She turned and headed into the kitchen. Teldryn sat for a moment, his eyes lingering on the spot in the doorway where she'd disappeared.  _Finish the drink and leave._ He downed the remainder of his drink and stood up, tossing a few coins on the counter.

As he made his way across the marketplace, Teldryn told himself that the reason he was so interested in her was that she was, according to her at least, from another world. Not to mention he had given her one hundred septims and would have been none too pleased had he returned to see her begging on the street. It was good to see an investment doing well, that was all.


	12. Some Wine and a Bath

He was striking to look at. Vanya had gotten used to the nuances of Dunmer faces so it was not those features that had surprised her, it was the fact that those features were arranged in such a way that he actually looked...handsome?

She scrubbed the plate in her hand, tossing it into the rinse bucket before grabbing the next.

It wasn't that she thought Dunmer were ugly by any means, it's just their looks were so foreign to her eyes she found them more interesting than anything. Now that she thought about it, perhaps Dreyla would be considered beautiful. And Captain Veleth was not unattractive. They would make a very cute couple once Fethis came around and let her go.

She finished washing the stack of plates and began pulling them out to dry with a rag.

If Roggir and Erik were typical of Nordic men, then a woman would certainly be spoiled for choice.  _Why am I even thinking like this?_

She stacked the plates on the shelf as she dried them, her mind drifting to vivid ruby eyes, the large irises ringed with the darkest crimson. The ridge of his brow was accentuated by a symmetrical dark violet tattoo that curved up the sides of his forehead before cutting in sharply over his cheekbones. There was more on his bottom lip and chin, like two arrowheads pointing downward. She had not noticed the tattoos when they'd shared water on the way to Raven Rock, though she had been a little overwhelmed at the time. His unique look was topped off, literally, by a jet-black mohawk. That had certainly been a shock, but she felt she had done pretty well at not showing it. She smiled, imagining him as a rebellious punk in her world. All he needed was a spiked dog collar and a Slipknot shirt.

"Ahem." Geldis cleared his throat just behind her causing her to jump and whirl around, clutching the plate in her hand to her chest with a squeak.

He seemed amused as he addressed her, "As I was saying, I need you to fetch some spices from Fethis on your break today." He held out a small paper with a list.

"Of course," she replied quickly, taking the paper and folding it into the pocket of her pants.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, the edges of his mouth quirking upward.

Vanya set the plate in her hand on the shelf. "Not really, well, actually...I was thinking I should pay that rescued woman a visit." She really had thought about that earlier, so it wasn't a complete lie. "I want to see if I can help."

"Ah," he replied, his expression sobering a little. "I'm sure Milore will appreciate that. Good work, as usual." He gestured to the now cleaned kitchen. "I will see you in a couple hours." With that, he headed down to his bedroom.

Vanya focused her mind on gathering items to take to Niyya, attempting to not letting it wander to black stubble covering an angled jaw that led to fine smirking lips.  _Jesus Christ, what's the matter with me._ She chided herself, ramming the heel of her hand against her forehead a few times as if to physically dislodge her inappropriate thoughts.

She had put together a small basket for Niyya with a few necessities, a change of clothes she hoped would fit, and some food. She hung the basket on her arm and headed out the door of the Netch to Milore's house across the market. When Vanya approached the house, the dunmer was outside looking through a chest full of compartments of ingredients, her short black hair coming loose from its tie at her nape. "What I wouldn't give for some vampire dust..." she muttered.  _Vampire Dust?_

"Milore?"

"Oh! Hello Vanya." Milore looked up briefly before continuing her search. "I'm having a bit of a conundrum here." She rifled through a compartment. "Trying to nurse this poor woman's ills but all I have is garlic, chaurus eggs, and some nordic barnacles. See my problem?"

"Ummm..."

Suddenly she stood up and grabbed Vanya's shoulders. "Oh! Oh! I've got it! Vanya, does Geldis have any jazbay wine?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Bring a bottle at once," Milore ordered before turning and gathering her ingredients to go inside the house. "Yes, it will be just the thing," she said more to herself than Vanya as she shut the door behind her.

Vanya turned, bewildered, and hurried back to the Netch. Geldis would not be happy to just give away a bottle of wine. She supposed she could buy it from him, but jazbay wine was not cheap. She huffed a sigh as she walked down the stairs into the tavern, wondering what she should do.

She approached Geldis' bedroom and knocked on the door that was slightly cracked open. "Come in," he answered. He was at his desk writing in his ledger as he often did.

"Uh, I have kind of a weird question."

He put his quill down and looked at her. "Alright."

"I was talking to Milore and she seems to think she needs a bottle of jazbay wine to help Niyya's condition."

He blinked a couple of times. "So what is the question?"

"Um, can I take one to her?"

Geldis stood up and walked over to her, crossing his arms. "Vanya, those bottles are seventy-five septims a piece. Did Milore offer to pay for it?"

"She was in kind of a hurry, I didn't ask. I'm sure she will, but I can put some money in for it."

"That's generous of you," he chuckled.

"I think she's trying to save her life, you heard what Roggir said. She is in bad shape."

"Hmmm." He walked back to his ledger and flipped a few pages. He ran his finger down a line and thought for a moment. "Take the bottle and see how much she uses, I think we can work it out later...Ah!" Geldis cried as Vanya threw her arms around him, careful not to hit him with the basket she still carried.

"Thank you!" she squealed. "You're the best!"

He waved her off, trying to look annoyed. "Yes, yes, go on."

She ran from the room to retrieve a bottle. Nesting it in her basket, she took off for Milore's house once again.

She knocked on the door, catching her breath a little. Milore opened it, her eyes brightening when she spotted the bottle. "Oh, wonderful. Come in, come in!"

Vanya entered, closing the door behind her as Milore hurried to a table sprawled with what looked like an elaborate science experiment. Next to the table that was strewn with bottles and bowls of powdered ingredients hung the tiniest cauldron she'd ever seen over a small fire pit. The smell of garlic was strong in the air as the cauldron steamed.

Then she saw Niyya, lying on some blankets that were sprawled on the floor with pillows supporting her head and legs. She had rich dark brown skin and reddish blonde hair that was a matted mess.  _Redguard,_  Vanya thought immediately. She had purchased a book from Fethis that was all about the different races of Tamriel. Based on the description of the Redguard she reasoned Niyya had to be one. Vanya could see nothing physically wrong and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

"What's the matter with her?" Vanya asked, looking to Milore who was ever so carefully adding a pinch of something to the cauldron.

"I'm not sure," she replied slowly, dusting her hands off once she completed her task. "I thought at first she was suffering from some kind of poison, but a potion to cure poison did absolutely nothing. Uncork that bottle, would you?"

Vanya obeyed, setting her basket down and pulling up the bottle to open it and set it on the table.

Milore continued, "Cure Disease, Health and stamina potions do nothing, neither does magic healing." She stirred the bubbling mixture gingerly with a slotted spoon. "She seemed to be suffering a high amount of discomfort and weakness despite no visible ills so I gave her a sleeping draught to calm her while I thought about what to do."

Vanya gazed once more at the sleeping woman. "What have you decided?"

"I've decided that it may be something she will have to endure but, in the meantime, I believe I can keep her alive by giving her a strong elixir to fortify her vitality." She dipped her finger in the potion and touched it to her tongue, giving an approving hum. "The problem is that the ingredients I have for this particular brew will also poison her magicka."

"Oh." Vanya hadn't realized that was possible.

"I mean, it won't kill her but I'm not sure how long she will have to take this and I'd prefer not to do anything to add to her suffering." She picked up the bottle of wine and poured a bit into a small cup, taking a sip and then handing the cup to Vanya. "Try it."

Vanya took a sip, humming in approval. It was a rather strong dark wine, a bit on the dry side. She liked it, though she usually preferred sweeter varieties.

"In this form, it won't do much more than make you drunk." Milore picked up a wooden measuring spoon and filled it. "But I'm hoping that steeped into this mixture it will counteract the poison effect. It's a bit of an experiment, I'll admit." She glanced at Vanya before emptying the spoon into the cauldron. They both looked at the bubbling brew for a few moments. Vanya wondered if something was supposed to happen.

"Let's give it a little time, shall we?" Milore said as she approached Vanya. "What else did you bring in your basket?"

Vanya pulled out the items she brought, Milore humming in approval as she looked through them. "Oh yes, these clothes are much softer. I'll have her change once she wakes up. That reminds me I need to boil some water for her to bathe."

"I can fetch it for you if you'd like." Vanya offered, eager to find something she could actually do.

"Oh, Vanya, you are a treasure. Really. That would be so helpful." Milore pointed to the other side of the room. "The buckets are over there."

"Great! I'll do it now."

Milore had returned to the cauldron and was again tasting it. "Hmmm, perhaps just a touch more of the wine..."

Vanya left her to it, gathering the four buckets near the door and heading outside to the well.

* * *

Teldryn sat in a chair in the shade by Glover's house, puffing on his long pipe as he watched Vanya pull the second bucket up from the well. Modyn leaned against the wall next to him complaining about something but Teldryn had stopped listening, grunting during pauses to keep up the appearance of paying attention. The captain always had something to complain about, whether it was the lack of support from House Redoran, his lazy guards, or the fact that Fethis would not grant him Dreyla's hand. Teldryn had heard it all before.

Vanya was pulling up the third bucket. He'd decided to relax outside while he waited for Glover to mend his helmet and he'd seen her going back and forth to Milore's house, figuring that she was helping care for the redguard woman. Now she was pulling up the fourth bucket, wiping her brow as she started to sweat a little.

Modyn flicked his ear and he flinched. "Ow!" He glared up at the captain who was grinning smugly.

"You're not listening."

"Think of something new to say and I might. S'wit." Teldryn looked back to Vanya as she struggled a bit to pick up one of the full buckets.

"Looks like she could use some help." Modyn nudged Teldryn's arm, pushing the tip of the pipe out of his mouth.

He dumped out the tobacco and stood up. "You're a fuckin' pest, you know that?" Modyn only laughed as he stalked toward the well, tucking his pipe into a pocket.

He approached the woman as she was carefully attempting to lift a bucket with each hand. She was fully capable, he reasoned, but he could certainly accomplish the task much faster. "Can I help you?"

She looked up at him, lowering the buckets back to the ground. "Oh, hey Teldryn," she smiled. "Sure, do you want to grab those two? I can take these."

"Here." He stepped toward her and picked up the first bucket sliding it onto his right forearm, then doing the same with the second. The plate of his armor kept the handles from digging into his skin so it was far more efficient to carry all of the buckets at once. She stepped back as he turned to grab the third, adding it to his arm. The last bucket he simply carried in his left hand.

"Wow." She looked at the buckets and then at him, her eyes wide. He enjoyed her admiration way too much. He smirked and began walking to Milore's house and she joined him. "I wish I could do that. It would make the mornings so much easier."

"Geldis makes you carry all the water in?"

"Oh no, he does most of it actually. But I help, of course. I can basically only carry one at a time, though."

They reached the front door and Vanya led him inside after checking with Milore that he was allowed to come in. He placed the buckets against the wall where Milore directed. "Thank you, both of you," she said. Teldryn nodded. He looked across the room and saw Niyya sleeping, or at least he hoped she was.

"Please let me know if you need anything else," Vanya said. "I'd better be going but I'll come back after lunch to see how she's doing."

He followed Vanya out of the house, shutting the door behind him. "Will she be alright?" he asked as they strolled toward the Netch.

"We don't know." Her expression was grim. "She can't figure out what's wrong. We'll just have to wait and see."

"I'm not surprised. There was some strange necromancy going on in that place. She's likely endured some unspeakable experiments."

Vanya was silent, looking deep in thought. When they reached the inn she turned to him, meeting her eyes to his. "Thank you." He felt that she was thanking him for more than just carrying water as she disappeared through the door.

"Any time," he said before heading back toward the blacksmith to see if his helmet was ready.


	13. A Lost Soul

She'd forgotten the spices. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" she cried as she ran from the kitchen when Geldis asked her for them. She was self-conscious going back out into the market, feeling a little like a chicken with her head cut off. She retrieved the spices and was back in the kitchen of the Netch in no time.

"There!" She dropped the parcel on the counter with a huff, a little out of breath.

"Ah, good." Geldis opened it and pulled out what he needed to season a tray of fish. Vanya scored ash yams, seasoning them the way Geldis had shown her. She also chopped vegetables for the ash hopper stew that was planned for supper.

Soon she was in the zone, flying around the kitchen with growing proficiency. Fairly late in the lunch hour, she brought three plates to Roggir, Erik, and Teldryn. They seemed to be deep in a discussion, the two nords giving her the barest of acknowledgment as she set their meals in front of them. Teldryn gave her a small smile and nodded in thanks before turning his attention back to the subject at hand. She noticed that Erik seemed to be missing a couple pieces of his armor, though it looked like Teldryn had gotten his helmet back.

When she returned to the bar, she saw Bralsa covering a yawn as she sat down. "Tsk, tsk, just getting up?" Vanya mock-scolded.

"Yes, mother," Bralsa replied with a lazy smile and sleepy eyes.

Vanya leaned on her elbows with a grin. "You missed all the excitement this morning."

"Oh?"

"The Dragonborn is back." She pointed over to the table where the trio sat before turning to fill a mug with Sujamma.

Bralsa looked at them. "Lovely." She did not sound sincere. She looked back at Vanya, "I'll get excited when he actually does something for  _me_."

Vanya chuckled as she slid the mug into her friend's hand. "I hear they are going into the mine."

"What in Oblivion for? There's nothing there but empty veins," the dunmer said sourly then took a long drink.

Vanya shrugged, "Don't know, I asked Teldryn but he never said."

"Tell him if he finds my livelihood to let me know."

Vanya shook her head, laughing, "That'll be the day."

A short time later, she noticed Teldryn and the others getting up to leave and when she caught his eye he diverted his course nearer to the counter. He leaned in, smirking, "Well done on the ash yam, by the way." He turned to rejoin his companions before she had a chance to respond, leaving her staring at the back of his head in surprise.

"Thanks," she breathed, though he was well out of earshot. Her eyes slid to Bralsa, who had stopped mid-sip.

"What was that all about?" she asked, lowering her mug.

"Nothing." Heat was rising in her cheeks, the corners of her mouth curling upward despite her attempt to hide it.

Bralsa scoffed, " _Nothing_  doesn't make you blush like a maiden."

Vanya snatched Bralsa's mug and turned to top it off at the keg. "Well, it is nothing so just..." she returned the mug, a bit ungracefully. "Shut up. I have work to do anyway." She hurried away, leaving Bralsa grinning smugly.

 _It was nothing,_  Vanya told herself as she stacked dirty plates on a tray. Teldryn was being kind since she'd complained about cooking ash yams earlier. He was just really nice, that's all.

* * *

After cleaning up lunch, Vanya kept to her word and went to check on Niyya. She was greatly alarmed when Milore answered the door looking as if she'd been crying.

"Is she okay?" Vanya rushed inside, looking toward the place where the woman still lay.

"Oh, my dear, yes, yes. I'm sorry, I'm just overcome." She gestured to a coin purse that was spilled out on the table.

Vanya's eyes widened. "Where did that come from?"

"The Dragonborn, before he left for the mine. He bought a couple of potions and said he was giving a little extra to cover for Niyya's care. Vanya, that's five hundred septims."

"Wow."

"He's a saint," Milore said reverently. They both looked at the still sleeping woman, and Vanya could see she'd had a change of clothes. The older woman continued, "She roused for a while and I was able to help her bathe and eat." The redguard's hair was a damp rats nest. "But I had to give her another sleeping drought, she just writhes in pain."

"Did your potion help at all?"

"I can't tell, though it does seem I was able to negate the poison effect." A twinkle passed through her eye before she sighed in frustration. "But we may need to rely on prayer."

 _Prayer?_  Vanya had heard the names of a few gods, Azura the most, but she'd rarely seen or heard anything besides the occasional invocation- whether as a blessing or curse. There were no church services, just the temple that might as well be a part of the Bulwark for all the attention paid to it. She was a Christian- or had been. She wasn't so sure now.

Milore turned back to the gold on the table. "I must pay Geldis for the wine, it will be a simple thing now with all this. Come, how much is it?"

"Seventy-five septims," Vanya replied absently, preoccupied with her thoughts.

"By Azura!" Milore breathed. "Just as well, I believe I will need it all."

Vanya went to the basket she had left and pulled out a comb. She was not able to do much but she could tidy up the poor woman's hair. Comb in hand, she sat on the floor and positioned Niyya's head on her lap and began picking through a knot.

"Good thinking, it will be a mercy to do that while she sleeps." Milore left her to her task, which suited Vanya's distracted mind.

On Earth, God had been real to her. She'd prayed for deliverance at the beginning of her time on Nirn but something felt different. Like there really was nothing on the receiving end of her supplications. What happens to a soul promised to the god of the universe when that soul leaves the universe? Would he try to get her back?

Could he?

She forced that line of thinking from her mind as she felt it push her toward a chasm she had walled off. She stroked the warm golden hair that she'd been able to smooth out. She wanted to pray for Niyya, but who would she pray to? She was afraid to ask anyone as she felt it would bring unwanted questions about how she'd made it to her age with no knowledge of the gods, or at least some sort of belief system. She could play dumb, pretend it was part of her amnesia, but she wanted to talk about her god- or seeming lack thereof- as well as the gods of Nirn.

She was nearly finished with Niyya's hair when it occurred to her.  _Teldryn._  He was the only one who would understand. He was the only one who knew her secret and it was apparent that he'd kept it so far. She hoped she'd see him before he left Raven Rock.

* * *

That night and the entire next day, Vanya kept an eye out for any sign of the trio. She was quite sure she would know if they came through since practically everyone in town was talking about the fact that they had gone into the mine. That evening it seemed like every resident was packed into the tavern, hoping to be present when the Dragonborn returned. As the night stretched on and there was still no sign, people started to go home. Vanya went to bed wondering if perhaps they'd snuck off while everyone was packed in the Netch.

Hours later she was pulled from sleep by whispers in the main hall. It was not totally unusual for a guest to wander through the doors in the middle of the night, but her eyes popped open when she recognized the timbre of Roggir's voice. If he was back, that meant...

She got up and crept as quietly as she could into the kitchen, leaning hidden against the archway to hear better. She ventured a peek into the tavern and in the low light saw the three men standing with Geldis in the center of the room.

"...incredible news. Are you sure you won't stay?" Geldis asked.

"Yes, we must make haste to Tel Mithryn," Roggir replied.

"I see. Then you must come back through so we may celebrate your accomplishment. Councilor Morvayn will surely declare a festival in your honor."

"Perhaps. But for now we will gather our things and be off, there is much to be done. Thank you, Geldis, for your hospitality."

"It's been my pleasure, truly."

Moments later Geldis came through the kitchen, passing Vanya without noticing her. He was chuckling to himself as he headed toward his bedroom.  _I wonder what they did to make him so happy?_

She peeked back around the corner and the room was empty. Had they left already? She walked out toward the bar, leaning over it to scan the room. Then Teldryn appeared from the hallway with his pack over his shoulder and his helmet under his arm.

* * *

Her hair was loose, a little mussed from sleep, and she wore a plain sleeping gown that revealed a little more shoulder than her usual tunic. She did not seem uncomfortable to be seen in such a state of undress so he approached, unable to suppress his smile.

"You're leaving?" she said as he neared the counter, her dark eyes wide and round in the low light with shadows playing across her collarbones as she breathed.

 _Sheogorath's Beard, she's dangerous._  He forced himself to focus on her face as he answered. "Yes."

"I guess you found what you were looking for?" Her hands fiddled with the laces that gathered the neckline of her gown.

 _Stop that._  He nodded. "We did."

She nodded as well, seeming distracted. "I wanted to ask you something and it might be a little strange..."

Well, now he was intrigued. "Alright."

She hesitated a moment and then walked around the bar to stand in front of him, close enough that he guessed she must use juniper oil in her hair. He held his breath.

"I can't ask anyone else because you are the only one who knows that I'm more than just an outlander," she said in a low tone.

He started breathing again. "Truly? No one else knows?"

She shook her head.

He was about to ask why when Roggir and Erik entered the room.

"Ready?" Roggir asked, glancing briefly at Vanya then back to him. Erik grinned.

"I'll be out shortly," he replied, not looking forward to the shit he was going to catch for this.

Erik waved at her. "Hello, Vanya."

"Hello, Erik." She waved back, sounding a little amused.

Mercifully, the two nords left and Teldryn turned his attention back to Vanya who was now chewing her bottom lip.

_Gods damn it, woman._

"Is he going to be upset?" she asked.

"He'll live. What is it you need?"

She took a breath. "Well, Milore said something about needing to pray for Niyya's recovery and I want to do everything I can to help but where I'm from there is only one god. I mean, there are many religions but I was raised to believe in one god."

He tilted his head. This had definitely taken a turn he had not expected.

"I believe in my god, or I did." He noticed her eyes misting over as she looked at nothing in particular. "But I can't feel him anymore. I can't really explain it, I used to feel something back on Earth. Many people would say he didn't exist but I felt something. I believed it. And now it's gone." She looked as if she might cry but quickly composed herself. He didn't know what to say.

Her eyes met his. "Teldryn, are your gods real?"

He nodded. "Yes. They are real."

She seemed to relax with the assurance. "So who do you pray to? Azura?"

"Azura is not my patron, but I do pray to her. As do most dunmer."

"Patron?" Her face pinched in confusion and Teldryn felt himself growing frustrated, not because he did not want to be having this conversation but because his time was so limited.

"Vanya," he said. "I want to help you but..."

"You have to go," she finished for him. "I understand. I'm sorry, I know it's a heavy subject to bring up out of the blue like this."

If he could not help, at least he knew someone who could. "Go speak with the elder of the temple. You don't have to tell him anything you don't want to, but ask him these questions."

She nodded, giving a small smile. "Okay, thank you."

"Good luck, Vanya," he said as he stepped back, giving an encouraging nod.

"Same to you."

She ran one hand up her other arm, her deep gaze not faltering as the image of her burned itself in his mind. Dark hair flowing over warm skin that glowed like honey in the lantern light.

He tore his eyes from her and quickly turned to leave, fitting his helmet onto his head as he walked up the stairs, pulling his cowl over his mouth before walking out the doors.

The two nords were standing by the well, waiting. As he approached, Erik said, "I wasn't sure you were coming." Though the ebony helmet obscured his face, Teldryn could hear him smirking.

"Here I am," he replied, not slowing down as he passed by them. They fell in beside him and the three headed toward the gate of the Bulwark. The silence was short-lived.

"So did she give you a token? A ring, a silk kerchief?" Erik asked, stifling a laugh.

Teldryn sighed loudly.

"Aw c'mon, dagger-ears, give me something here," the younger man whined. "Was she telling you to be careful? To come back to her in one piece?"

Teldryn shook his head and glanced at Roggir, who was smiling as he forged ahead.

"If you must know," he said pointedly. "She wanted to talk about prayer." At this Roggir's smile turned into a laugh and Erik scoffed. They didn't believe him, and that was perfect.


	14. Searching for Answers

_Azura is the only Daedra Princess I have ever worshipped who seems to care about her followers. Molag Bal wanted my mind, Boethiah wanted my arms, and Nocturnal perhaps my curiosity. Azura wants all of that, and our love above all. Not our abject slavering, but our honest and genuine caring in all its forms. It is important to her that our emotions be engaged in her worship. And our love must also be directed inward. If we love her and hate ourselves, she feels our pain. I will, for all time, have no other mistress._

_-Sagillah Parate_

Vanya closed the book, leaning her head back against the stone wall of the alcove that housed Azura's shrine in the temple. She had taken Teldryn's advice and spoken with Elder Othreloth and after he'd thoroughly confused her trying to explain the Daedra, she had asked him if there were books she could read. He had gathered a few books for her and since he would not let her take them from the temple, she visited on breaks from the Netch to read through a few pages at a time. She was glad that it gave her something to do since her visits with Bralsa had been greatly reduced now that the mine was reopened. If the Dragonborn was not a hero to the people of Raven Rock before, he certainly was now as somehow he'd discovered a massive ebony deposit during his delve into the mine. Geldis was practically beside himself with glee as he brewed like a madman in anticipation for all the miners that would be flooding in soon.

Vanya turned the book over in her hands, tracing her fingers down the intricate design on the cover. Reading had been slow going over the last few days as the religious texts were exhausting, though thankfully not extremely long. She'd read  _Aedra and Daedra_ ,  _The Book of Daedra_ ,  _Boethiah's Proving_ , and finally her favorite so far,  _Invocation of Azura_. The three shrines in the temple were dedicated to the two Daedra she'd read about and a third, Mephala. Elder Othreloth claimed he had lost his book on Mephala, though Vanya wasn't sure she believed that with how strict he was about books not leaving the premises. Though perhaps that was why he was so strict in the first place.

The Elder's apprentice, Galdrus, passed by her and she pulled herself further into the shadow of the alcove. He was horrible to her and had nearly scared her from the temple the first time she'd entered, scolding her that outsiders weren't welcome. Thankfully, his master had been nearby and had shooed him away, assuring her that she was free to enter. Still, Galdrus scowled and complained loudly about N'wahs every time he saw her reading, so she tried her best to keep out of his sight.

"Galdrus!" Elder Othreloth called. "It's nearly mid-day, time for your lessons."

"Very well," the apprentice sighed as he followed him down the stairwell into the underground portion of the temple. She was glad to be fully alone to muse on what she'd just read.

Boethiah seemed a little scary. She ruled over things like battle and treason. Who would want to worship that? Despite not having a book to read on Mephala, the priest had given her a brief explanation and she had liked her even less. Lies and murder were her domain, and she was apparently strongly associated with spiders. Vanya shuddered at the thought. Azura, on the other hand, she could understand why so many called upon her. The Mother of the Night Sky, the ruler of dusk and dawn, she required only love and dedication from her followers. No murder, no plots, no spiders. Teldryn had mentioned that Azura was not his patron and after all she had learned, she was curious who was.

She was pulled from her thoughts by footsteps in the main hall. She waited to see if it was Galdrus but the movement soon stopped and she had seen no one. She almost chalked it up to her imagination when she heard the whisper of a woman's voice. "Mephala, Queen of the... " Vanya could barely make out any words. "the time draws near...of the sinful...We have heard your whispers...daggers sing...blood of the..." Vanya's heart was racing as she strained to hear, the voice growing quieter still. "...soul for a soul...Hlaalu."

Vanya pressed herself harder against the stone wall as the footsteps of this mysterious woman began to cross the main hall once again. She squeezed her eyes shut, in her heart beseeching Azura.  _Don't let me be seen._ She heard the doors creak and opened her eyes, seeing a sliver of light for a moment before the door was pulled shut. She stayed still, then slowly peeked around the corner of the alcove. She was alone.

* * *

"Get lost in your reading?" Geldis inquired as Vanya rushed into the kitchen. She nodded, quickly throwing on her apron and setting herself to work. In truth, she had waited a while to leave the temple as she wanted to be sure that whoever had been praying was gone and would not see her leaving so soon after them. She worked the afternoon in near silence, ignoring Geldis' curious looks. What was she going to do about what she'd heard? Her mind sifted through the women in town, wondering which one she had unwittingly eavesdropped. She nearly felt sick by the time lunch was finished. She was scrubbing a plate while staring at a cobweb in the corner of the room when Geldis walked up beside her.

"Vanya, are you alright? You've been acting strangely."

She slid her eyes to his concerned face, then toward the main hall. "Are we alone?"

"Yes, for the moment. What is it?"

"Can we speak in your room?"

He nodded, his look of concern deepening. She hurried toward his room and he followed, shutting the door behind them.

"Tell me what's going on," he demanded.

"I...I heard someone, a woman, praying a strange prayer in the temple. She didn't know I was there. She mentioned Hlaalu." She knew that was a name of a political house in Morrowind, having read mention of the Great Houses in one of her books.

Geldis approached her, staring hard into her eyes. "Tell me what you heard. Every word."

She repeated everything she had been able to hear and when she finished, Geldis looked like he'd seen a ghost. "We must go to Councilor Morvayn at once. You must tell him what you've just told me."

She had planned to visit Milore and Niyya today but she knew by Geldis' reaction that this took precedence. Besides, Niyya's condition had only mildly improved, she did not expect any sudden breakthroughs. "Okay."

* * *

Vanya sat at a table in a small, sparsely furnished room in Morvayn Manor. First Councilor Lleril Morvayn and Captain Veleth sat across from her. Behind them, Second Councilor Adril Arano paced. She had just finished going through her story and the three men had the same stunned look as Geldis when he heard it.

"The treachery of Vilur Ulen still haunts us," Adril spat.

Councilor Morvayn addressed her. "You did not see who was at the shrine?"

Vanya shook her head.

Then Captain Veleth spoke. "And you are positive you heard Hlaalu?"

She nodded.

"What are we going to do? The Morag Tong may strike any day!" Adril asked the captain.

The captain stroked his chin for a few moments before responding. "We will tighten security of the manor. Lleril, you are not be alone at any time. In the meantime, I need to investigate."

"We must secure the perimeter of the town as well!"

"I don't have enough men for that, Adril." Captain Veleth shook his head. "We must focus our security on the First Coucilor. Besides..." He looked at Vanya, who was simply watching in perplexed silence. "if what she says is true, agents of the Morag Tong are already here."

He then addressed her. "You have done very well to bring us this information, Vanya. You can go and I hope it does not need to be said that you are not to breathe a word of this outside this room."

"I won't," she assured. She wanted to ask what was happening but reasoned that it was better she knew as little as possible. She stood up and Captain Veleth got up with her, opening the door to let her out into the hall.

When she got outside she looked up at the position of the sun and figured she still had a little time before she needed to be back to work. She could still go see Milore and Niyya or...she looked up at the temple in front of her. Would it work? If she prayed, would Azura hear her?

 _Do I need to bring an offering_?

She thought for a moment at what she had of value to give. She knew that many left ash yams, a handful of septims, or sometimes even gems. She wanted to give something personal, something precious...then a realization hit her and she started toward the Netch. She'd purchased a small bar of fragrant soap from Fethis a few weeks ago that he claimed came from a place called Cyrodiil. It had cost her nine septims but it had been worth it to have a reprieve from the harsh ash lye. She was loath to lose it but it was the only thing she owned that she thought would be worthy of garnering a god's attention.

* * *

Vanya was kneeling at the shrine of Azura looking down at her little bar of soap wrapped in wax paper. She gently pried the wrapping open, realizing that she had not even used it enough times to wear off the delicate floral design molded on the top. She gazed up at the carved stone of the shrine as she set her offering on the altar.  _This is it_.

She closed her eyes, clasped her hands and prayed the only way she knew how.


	15. Getting Answers

Vanya set her cup of tea on her side table and fell into her bed. It had only been a couple of weeks since the mine had reopened and already so many people had shown up. If it got much busier she might have to send a letter begging Drovas to come back.

_I don't think I'll ever be that desperate._ She propped herself up with her pillow and picked up her tea. She wanted to go to Milore's house but she was far too interested in relaxing and perhaps taking a nap. She smiled as she thought about how Milore had run into the tavern that night after she'd prayed to Azura hollering that Niyya had miraculously gotten better. Not  _completely_ better, but apparently the redguard had spontaneously sat up and started asking all sorts of questions. Her pains were gone and though she was still a little weak, she was up and eating well. Vanya had returned to the shrine to thank Azura and she could have sworn she smelled the fragrance of the soap she'd offered on Elder Othreloth as he walked by. She supposed it was only right that the priests use up the items that were brought in as a reward for their service.

She felt herself dozing off when she was jolted awake by a shadow falling over her, nearly causing her to spill her tea in her lap. It was Geldis and he looked concerned.

"Jesus Christ, Geldis!" she huffed as she set her cup down. "You gave me a heart attack. What is it?"

"Apologies," he replied, blinking away the expression he sometimes gave her when she used phrases he wasn't used to. "A guard just informed me that Captain Veleth wants to see you immediately."

She sat up, staring into his eyes. They both knew what it was about. "Okay." She got to her feet and straightened her clothes. "I'll go right now."

She crossed the marketplace toward Morvayn Manor wondering what more the captain could want from her. She had told them everything she knew. When she entered the manor, the Second Coucilor ushered her to Veleth's office. The captain was standing looking deep in thought when she entered the room. He approached and closed the door behind her. "Greetings, Vanya," he said as he walked over to his desk and sat against the edge, then gestured toward the chair next to him. "Please, sit."

She obeyed, not able to tell his mood. He certainly seemed serious, which made her very uneasy. She had to raise her chin high to look up at him, his focus directed around the room behind her.

"I've learned some things over the last few days," he began. "Elder Othreloth tells me that someone has recently been leaving offerings at the Ulen ancestral tomb. There was mention of a Vilur Ulen when we spoke last, do you remember?" His eyes slid to her face.

She nodded, "Yeah."

"All the members of the Ulen family are dead and have been for many years so the sudden appearance of offerings added to what you heard at the shrine makes me believe they are connected. Someone is planning to finish the task that Vilur failed."

"To assassinate Councilor Morvayn?" Vanya guessed.

"Exactly."

"But why?" The First Councilor seemed to be very well-liked by everyone, she couldn't imagine who would want to kill him.

"Do you know much of the history of the Great Houses?" he asked.

"I just know their names, but not much else."

He heaved a sigh and looked out over the room once more."Suffice to say that House Redoran and House Hlaalu have a history of political disagreements and that some members of the Ulen family, being a part of House Hlaalu, decided to try and make an example of Councilor Morvayn. Fortunately, our dear First Councilor has a very effective captain of the guard," the corner of his mouth quirked up. "and the plot was foiled."

Vanya's nerves kept her from smiling at the captain's levity, she didn't understand what any of this had to do with her.

He continued, " _Unfortunately_  for the Ulen's they were put to death for their treachery. Which brings us to our current situation where someone has decided to repay justice with revenge. The question is, who?" His dark eyes, nearly burgundy in color, met hers and her stomach fluttered uneasily. "That's where you come in."

She stared at him, stunned. "What can I do?"

He pushed off the desk and began pacing around the room. "The priests have not seen who is leaving the offerings, or so they claim. My men and I have been trying to watch the temple but between guarding the Councilor and keeping the peace with all the new people in town, we can scarcely keep up as it is. Not to mention, I don't want to scare off the culprits by making the guard presence too heavy. So..." He turned and walked back to lean on the desk once again. "I need  _you_  to go down into the tomb and wait for them to bring another offering."

"Why me?" she nearly wailed.

"Because you already know of the matter. I can't risk anyone else finding out about my investigation. Besides, you would draw no suspicion going to the temple since you are frequently there anyway."

"I- I can't go into a  _tomb_  looking for an  _assassin_ ," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Vanya, you must. I have no other leads. If we can't identify this person, then all we can do is wait for them to strike. All you have to do is tell me who it is. That's it. I'll take care of the rest." He was looming over her, leaning one arm on the desk in front of her and she swallowed nervously under the intensity of his gaze. He was a big guy, at least as tall as Teldryn and much bulkier. She felt very boxed in and she didn't like it one bit. Still, she would hate to say no and have something bad happen to the First Councilor. It would be her fault and she could never live with that. She dropped her eyes to her hands before bringing them over her face with a groan.

"When am I doing this?"

"Today," he replied immediately.

She dropped her hands and glared up at him. "Are you crazy? You spring this on me out of nowhere and you want me to do it  _today_?"

He chuckled as he straightened back up, crossing his arms. "What difference does it make if it's today, tomorrow, or next week? You certainly won't want to participate more by waiting. Besides, I have good reason to believe the offering will be made today. Come here." He walked behind his desk and picked up a sheet of paper. "I have a drawing of the tomb and I will walk you through exactly what to do."

* * *

She had been waiting for an hour at least, situated behind a pillar in the far corner of the room. Captain Veleth had insisted she come straight here to wait and to not leave unless she saw the offering made or he came for her. If she was waiting too much longer she'd blow her cover by her stomach growling. From her vantage point, she could see the center of the room where there was a large pit filled with ash and bones. The ash she could handle, the bones creeped her out a little. The air was musty and she was glad for the cloth around her mouth that the captain had given her to keep her from coughing or sneezing. He had certainly thought of everything. She felt only a little bit resentful about it.

She was starting to ache from trying to not shift around too much when she froze, hearing the door to the tomb creak and quiet footfalls. Her stomach was a tight knot as she peeked between the wall and the pillar, waiting for the person to come into view. The steps grew closer and she thought she should be seeing someone but still saw nothing, though it did seem like the ash floating in the air was being drawn by a gentle current. The movement stopped. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure it was audible. She didn't dare to even take a breath.

After what seemed like an eternity, the form of a hooded dunmer woman blinked into existence. Vanya nearly gasped but managed to clamp her lips together.  _Invisibility?_ No wonder she had not seen the woman the other day. She narrowed her eyes, trying to identify the woman in the dim lighting the sconces provided.

The woman knelt down to set her offerings on the edge of the pit then stood back up. She fished into a pocket and pulled out a small vial as she muttered, "Why does he always make this with Bittergreen?" She tipped the vial into her mouth, the hood sliding back slightly with the action. Before she disappeared Vanya's eyes widened in recognition.

_Tilisu Severin!_


	16. Love in Bloom

It had certainly been an exciting welcome for the new people in town. Every table Vanya served was talking about the scandal, asking her if she knew any more details. She played dumb on the advice of Captain Veleth, more than willing to let him take all the credit in case there was some form of retaliation. 'Though I don't intend to leave room for that eventuality,' he had said darkly.

At the moment, he was off somewhere taking out the patriarch of the Severin family, Vendil. When guards had gone to the family manor to arrest the three conspirators, Tilisu and Mirri had resisted at the cost of their lives and Vendil had somehow gotten away.  _Likely with the help of a little bit of Bittergreen._

Vanya was just glad her part in it was over. Well, it was mostly over. Currently at the bar, a very distraught Dreyla was nursing a mug of Sujamma.

"Oh Azura!" she cried, leaning her head in her hands. "I'll die. I'll die if he doesn't come back."

Bralsa buried her face in her mug, not wanting to get involved. Niyya, who had started venturing out now that she was feeling better, tried to be encouraging, "Have faith. He'll make it." Dreyla did not react so the redguard's lavender eyes slid toward Vanya as she shrugged as if to say, "I tried."

Vanya grabbed Dreyla's hands, commanding, "Hey, look at me." The dunmer woman obeyed. "He's going to be fine. He is the best of the best and he took his top men with him. They'll be back soon and we can put this all behind us."

"I just have a terrible feeling, Vanya. Going up against the Morag Tong? What if he's killed and I've wasted so much time worrying about what my father thinks? I love him so much!" Dreyla pulled her hands away, covering her face again.

"And Capta- Modyn," Vanya corrected herself. "knows that. He'll come back to you."

Geldis tapped her on the shoulder to remind her to get back to work. The tavern was more full than she'd ever seen it and the two of them were barely keeping up. All the rooms were taken and she hardly had time between serving meals to launder bedding; which consisted of a washboard, two buckets, and breaking her back.

Later in the evening, after most of the patrons were gone or in bed, she went out to collect any stray dishes and was surprised to see Niyya stacking cups and plates she'd collected on the bar.

"Oh, thanks," Vanya said. "I didn't know you were still here."

Niyya shrugged, "It's good to be doing something, instead of just laying about at Milore's. Bless her, but she fusses over me as if I'm a child."

"We are children to elves," Vanya replied. "Besides, you  _did_  almost die."

"Yeah, I suppose." The redguard's eyes glazed over. "Everyday when I wake up I think I'm in that tower. I never thought I'd make it out."

"I know," Vanya said somberly. Niyya nodded in understanding. While Niyya was still recovering, they had shared their stories with one another. After hearing the redguard's tale, Vanya felt she'd gotten off easy- and that was saying something. Niyya had watched her brother and four of her friends get tortured to death for months as an insane necromancer performed horrible experiments on them. Her brother had died first, trying to protect them. The last of her friends had died only the day before her rescue.

Vanya yawned, "I'm exhausted. I'm going to finish washing these and pass out." She started gathering the dishes on the bar.

Niyya picked up a stack."Let me help you."

Vanya was not going to deny her so she led her to the kitchen as she joked, "Perhaps I can get Geldis to put you on the payroll."

"Do you think he would?"

"Oh, really? Would you want to? I figured you would go back to mining now that you are feeling better."

"I wasn't exactly a powerhouse with a pickaxe to begin with and look at me now, I'm soft like a bowl of netch jelly," she said bitterly. It was true. Whatever muscle tone the woman had possessed in the past was long gone, wasted away by months of captivity and sickness.

"Niyya, you're as good as hired. I'll pay you myself if I have to."

* * *

Fortunately, Geldis was happy to have another pair of hands and the next morning Vanya walked Niyya through the tasks of the day. After the morning meal, they were outside dragging buckets of water toward the back of the building to do the laundry when they heard a woman scream. Vanya looked up see Dreyla taking off toward the Bulwark at a full sprint. She and Niyya left the buckets and, along with everyone else in the market, tried to get a look at what the dunmer woman was doing.

Walking slowly down the path was a single Redoran guard, spatters of blood visible all over his armor. He was still wearing his helmet but Vanya was quite sure it was Captain Veleth judging by his gait.  _Where are the others?_ She covered her mouth in horror at the realization that they must be dead.

Whispers and murmurs traveled around her but no one spoke aloud, everyone too enthralled by the scene. Dreyla was nearly to him, crying, "Modyn! Modyn!" He pulled off his helmet and she flew into his arms, not caring about the filth that would cover her clothes. She kissed him roughly, her hands exploring his shoulders and face as if to verify he was really there. His arms tightened around her, lifting her off the ground as he buried his head into the crook of her neck. The lovers stood entwined, oblivious to the crowd that was watching.

Vanya wiped warm tears from her cheek and looked at Fethis, who was standing next to her wearing an unreadable expression. "I have not seen her so affected since her mother passed," he said softly. "I suppose I've been selfish."

"She will still be here," Vanya assured. No matter how much Dreyla talked of leaving the island, the captain was very loyal to the First Councilor and it seemed unlikely he would ever abandon him.

"I know," he sighed, his eyes not leaving his daughter. "But it won't be the same."

A few members of the guard had reached the couple and were speaking with the captain, Dreyla still glued to his side. Another guard began shooing the crowd, "Move along now. Go on. Go on."

Vanya turned to where Niyya had been only to see her walking toward the forge with Glover. She smirked, muttering, "Oh, great." She approached them as he pulled up a sword to show Niyya something about it, which conveniently put his well-muscled arm on full display.

"Hello, Glover," Vanya greeted with a smile, noticing the deepened color in Niyya's cheeks.

"Good day, Vanya. What can I do for ya? Need a sword?" he joked, turning the weapon so it glinted in the light.

"I just need my apprentice back." She linked her arm with Niyya's. "You should come by for a drink later, hmm?" She raised her eyebrows at him before pulling the redguard woman along with her back toward their work.

"Apprentice?" he repeated as they walked away.

Niyya threw a quick glance back at the blacksmith then nudged Vanya's ribs, "I didn't need saving, you know."

Vanya looked at her friend, a slight flush still visible. "Oh," she laughed. "Yes, you did."


	17. The Rumor

Bralsa and Vanya sat on their favorite rock on the beach, watching a group of new arrivals disembarking from The Northern Maiden. The ship had been taking trips non-stop back and forth from Skyrim bringing miners, merchants, and curious visitors. Now they even had a bard at the Netch. Having Niyya around gave Vanya the opportunity to take time off since the morning and afternoon meals only required one of them. They'd taken to alternating days and both working nights, since the evenings were the busiest.

"I'm not sure this town can hold many more, even with the miner housing being opened back up," Vanya said.

Bralsa shrugged. "I don't care where any of them stay as long as no one tries to make me share my room." She turned to Vanya with a wicked grin. "If I'm not looking to share it, that is."

Vanya laughed, "You're enjoying this way too much."

"So? Oh, look at him!" She pointed toward the group walking along the dock. "The tall one with the dark hair. I'm going to have to find him later." Vanya rolled her eyes and Bralsa nudged her shoulder saying, "I hear things, you know. About  _you_."

Vanya gave her a pointed look. "I don't want to know."

"No, you probably don't. But don't worry about it, I tell them all you're taken."

She grabbed the dunmer's arm. "What? What are you telling them?"

"Does it matter? Trust me when I say it's better they think you're taken than just hard to get." She pulled her arm from Vanya's grasp. "I just say you're with a sellsword." She smiled before adding, "Who really likes your cooking."

Vanya gasped. "You didn't!" She put her hands over her face with a groan. How mortifying it would be for Teldryn to return and think she'd been pretending they were...something.

Bralsa laughed, "Oh, come on. I saw you that day." She deepened her voice, mocking, " _Well done on the ash yam._ "

Vanya felt her cheeks redden. "He was just being nice!"

"Vanya, I have lived here a long time. Teldryn has lived here a long time. I have never heard him say something 'just being nice'."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head in exasperation. They fell into silence for a while, simply observing the rush of activity on the dock.

"Looks like tall, dark, and handsome just got picked off by that Ralis guy," Vanya muttered.

"Mephala", Bralsa swore. "Hey, look! Argonians!"

* * *

Reading the descriptions of Argonians had not prepared Vanya for seeing the real thing. As she set drinks on the table where three of the lizard-beings were seated she tried not to stare at their bright yellow eyes, or their scales that reflected a multitude of shades in the lantern light, or the rows of horns that lined their heads... _are those feathers?_

"Ahem," the one with feathers broke her trance. "You act as if you've never seen Saxhleel before."

"I haven't," she replied, noticing his head tilt in curiosity. "I've never left Raven Rock and I'm sure some of these old ones," she said referring to the elves, "have not been too welcoming ever since some Argonians tried to invade the town many years ago." Vanya was pleased with herself as their body language relaxed. With all the new people coming in she had been reading up on the history of Raven Rock in an attempt to seem native.

"Yes," another lizard-man hissed. He had green scales mixed with wide swaths of dark orange. "I remember hearing stories about that when I was a hatchling. It was before our time and us three are no strangers to the 'old ones', as you say, since we came from the docks in Windhelm. We would rather live among dunmer than nords."

The third one, who sat further in the shadows, spat, "Especially now with  _High and Mighty_  King Ulfric." At his outburst the other two hissed at him, the feathered one chiding, "Quiet, Neetrenaza, there are nords here."

"Let them try me here without the support of the guard," he growled as he leaned forward, revealing sharp teeth in a threatening grimace that made Vanya's hair stand up. "or their precious Dragonborn."

Vanya watched the exchange with a growing feeling of unease. She had heard talk of a civil war that had been resolved in Skyrim before she arrived and that Roggir had all but won it himself. She'd never heard anyone breathe a bad word about the man but then, the whole affair did not seem to be a matter of great concern to anyone in Raven Rock as it did not affect them. In fact, the way Captain Veleth talked he seemed relieved that the Empire was now further from the shores of Solstheim. Talk of war, racism, and political strife was all too familiar and she hadn't considered that the influx of new people would bring more problems than overcrowding.

"Let me know if you need anything else," she said before leaving them to their hushed conversation.

As the night wore on Vanya paid more attention to all the different types of people that were in the tavern. They all seemed to be getting along alright and her experiences with nords so far had been nothing but positive, though that could be because she was not covered in scales. Still, she felt better and the dark cloud in her mind had dissipated. This was not Windhelm or even Skyrim, this was Raven Rock. She wiped down the bar after a couple of people moved with their drinks to a table, and two nords she'd never seen before sat in the empty seats.

"I don't know, Arjan, that dark elf was certainly offering a good sum. I'm still thinking we should have at least gone to see about the job," said the larger of the two, brushing some of his light brown hair from his face.

"Leave me out of it. I came here for a steady job with a room and a bed, not camping in some ash-wastes searching for treasure," the other responded before turning his eyes on her. He looked to be older with a smattering of gray in his blonde locks. "Do you have Honningbrew?"

Before she could say anything the younger man looked at her, green eyes dancing while he smirked, "I suppose there are are a few good reasons to stay in town." She ignored his wink and responded to the man called Arjan. "We have plenty of Honningbrew. One for each of you?"

Arjan nodded and the younger man leaned forward on the bar, looking her up and down. "What's your name?"

"Vanya," she replied flatly.

"I'm Gjollmir." He smiled while his eyes shamelessly lingered in places they shouldn't.

Vanya did not respond, instead turning to get their drinks. She returned and placed them on the bar. "Anything else?" she asked, making a point to look at Arjan, who did not seem to be taking any issue with how his companion was behaving. To her annoyance, it was Gjollmir who spoke.

"Yeah, what do you like to drink?"

"I don't drink on the job," she said curtly.

His grin widened. "What about off the job?"

The way he was looking at her made her skin crawl. She fought to keep her breathing steady, remembering the same look very vividly from six other men. She raised her chin as she forced herself to reply, hoping to throw him off enough to change his expression. "I've always liked rum and Coke."

She was rewarded with a squint of confusion as he replied, "Rum- good taste- but what is 'Coke'?"

She stared at the counter, fighting with her mind to not delve into painful memories. She snapped her eyes to his, speaking harshly, "It doesn't really matter." With that, she stalked away to check on the tables leaving the two nords looking dumbly at each other.

Fortunately, the rest of the evening kept her busy and she was careful to avoid him so he eventually lost interest. He was soon in a group near the bard requesting songs and, to her great relief, getting cozy with some other woman. She hoped that once he started at the mine, Bralsa's little rumor would reach his ears and he'd leave her alone.


	18. Cornered

"I just heard that more miners were killed at that old barrow," Niyya said as she stopped in the kitchen to pick up meals to serve.

"What?" Vanya gasped, pausing with her hands full of chopped vegetables.

"It's what I heard." Niyya shrugged as she headed back out to the tavern, plates in hand.

Geldis shook his head, sauntering across the kitchen to pull more plates from the shelf. "This is not going to be good for the town's reputation."

Vanya gave him a look as she tossed the vegetables into the pan over the fire. "Geldis, people are dying and you're worried about the town's reputation?"

After a few moments of introspection, he replied, "Let's just say it's in everyone's best interest that people stop dying untimely deaths."

Vanya rolled her eyes. "Very nice," she drawled while stirring the pan of ash-hopper and vegetables vigorously. "I just don't see how he gets more people to work for him after all that's happened. This is the third time there have been deaths."

"He offers a lot of money, to some it's worth the risk."

Vanya thought about the tall, dark-headed man that Bralsa had been eyeing that day on the beach. He had been in the first group that had gone to work for the dunmer, Ralis, who claimed there was some great treasure to be found in an old ruin somewhere on the island. This last time, he had come to town assuring safety as he had hired mercenaries to protect the miners from the dangers within. The rumor was they had awakened draugr, which were basically zombies according to Geldis' description. In her opinion, if acquiring the treasure was literally waking the dead then perhaps it was best left alone.

"Well, he's getting quite the bargain, isn't he. He hasn't had to pay anyone yet," she said drily, which caused Geldis to chuckle. She tossed the contents of the pan into a large bowl, tutting Geldis as he picked out a carrot for himself, then placed it on a warming platform over the hearth.

Niyya returned to the kitchen, stacks of dirty plates in her arms. "I think the  _ice-brain_  has finally figured out you're avoiding him," she said as she dropped them in the wash bucket.

"Hah, is it that obvious?" Vanya said tartly while scooping a serving of the fried ash-hopper onto a plate.

At first, she had been able to evade Gjollmir but soon he had made it his mission to be somewhere in her path so he could harass her with lewd comments. After dodging his hands once, she had resolved to never be near him again. She would  _not_  allow him to touch her.

"Who?" Geldis asked. "Who is it you are avoiding?" He looked at her curiously as he retrieved bread to add to the meals.

"Just some nord who can't take a hint. Don't worry about it," Vanya sighed. She set the plates on a tray and pushed it toward Niyya.

"Yeah, we agreed that she'll work the kitchen until he loses interest and he's only here in the evenings, anyway."

"Girls." Geldis looked between them. "If he's causing a problem I can tell him to get lost."

"I don't think that's necessary," Vanya replied. "He's just rude. Besides, he drinks a  _lot_. Wouldn't want you to lost out on that gold."

"And he doesn't bother me at all," Niyya said as she lifted the tray.

Vanya eyed the redguard knowingly. "Probably because he doesn't want his head smashed in by a blacksmith's hammer."

"Hey," Geldis interjected, catching their attention. He furrowed his brow. "You know, I've been doing this job a long time and nobody has ever tried to get  _me_  into bed."

She and Niyya nearly choked with laughter at his feigned outrage.

"Why is that funny?" he said as he put his hands on his hips, the shadow of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

They laughed harder.

* * *

Vanya wiped down an empty table, thankful for the relative quiet as the tavern cleared out for the afternoon. She felt the presence only a moment before a shadow was cast over her. She looked over her shoulder, gasping when she saw his face. "Gjollmir!"

His predatory smirk was like a knife in her gut. "Don't stop on my account. I was enjoying the view."

"What are you doing here at this hour?" she asked as she back around the table, running into the wall. She cursed her luck at being in the furthest- and least visible- corner of the room.

He shrugged carelessly. "I took the day off. Felt I needed to have a little fun." He loomed so close she could not see around his massive frame.

"Y- you don't have fun drinking yourself into a stupor every night?"  _Good job, Vanya, insulting him will do wonders._ She tried to remember who was still in the bar at the moment. Geldis was all the way in his office, and Mogrul and Slitter were in their usual spots, there might have been a few stragglers but for all she knew they could have left by now with the lunch hour nearly over. Niyya was off until supper, most likely spending the afternoon with Glover. Her chest was starting to get tight, her thoughts muddling.

He chuckled. "See? That's why I like you. You are a snappy little she-wolf. I just had to see if you'd bite when cornered." He was closer now and Vanya squeezed her eyes shut, trying to melt into the wall as the heat of his body seeped into her space. She waited in the darkness behind her eyelids, shivers crawling over her skin as she anticipated his touch.

"Pity," he said disdainfully.

He grabbed her face roughly, causing her to whimper as his fingers dug painfully into her cheeks. "Though from what I hear you are an elf-lover." Flecks of spit landed on her mouth and nose as he spoke. "And that little elf bitch thinks she can scare me off. You just don't know what's good for you." His other hand drew up over her waist, sliding up her ribs toward her breasts.

Tears streaming, she silently prayed.  _Azura, please..._

Just then, she heard a man yell, "Mogrul!"

Gjollmir released her and turned to see what was happening. Vanya opened her eyes and took a breath as if she had been drowning.

The man yelled again, "What kind of operation are you running out there, you snot-skinned piece of shit?" She heard chairs scrape across the floor. With Gjollmir's back turned, she took the opportunity to creep along the wall toward the bar. When she finally got to a point she could see what was going on she froze. Three men with daggers, who looked to be miners, were facing off with Slitter, his battleaxe at the ready. Mogrul was standing behind his bodyguard. "What is the meaning of this?" he barked.

"My brother just returned from your project at the barrow covered in blood, screaming about the dark elf massacring the others and then turning on him. He barely made it out alive and claims the elf said  _you_  are the money behind the whole thing."

"I have nothing to do with what's happening out there. The man asked to borrow money, so I lent him some. Anything beyond that is not my fucking problem."

Another of the men spoke, "You sat by silently as so many have been killed. I think that makes you a guilty party."

"Get out of my face!" Mogrul growled.

Instead, the men attacked. Vanya screeched as Slitter swung a wide arc with his axe, cleaving the first man in the chest with a loud thud. He wasted no time kicking the body off his blade then swinging it upward toward the next, a spray of blood flinging from the edge as he did.

Geldis came around the corner from the kitchen. "What is going on out here? Vanya!"

She ran to him as his eyes grew wide seeing the fight. There was a sickening crunch as one of the men caught the axe on the temple. Gjollmir ran across the tavern and up the stairs and she instinctively clung to Geldis, who commanded, "Go, child! Get out of here!" He tried to push her off but she held on, crying, "No! No! Not with him!" He saw her panic and relented, wrapping his arms around her in comfort.

Mogrul had retreated down the hallway of the inn and was out of sight. Slitter's eyes glinted, daring the final man to try his luck. The man lost his nerve and backed away. "Fuck this, I'm going back to Cyrodiil!" He turned to run away and Vanya gasped as Slitter pulled a throwing knife from his belt and nailed the fleeing man in the back and he fell to the floor groaning. Slitter approached and crouched over the dying man. He wrenched the knife from his back, grabbing a handful of hair to lift his head. The man cried out but it was cut short as the dunmer drew the knife savagely across his neck. The gurgle of the man's blood in his throat was the only sound as Slitter raised himself back up to his full height.

Vanya stared at the scene in shock. She'd never seen violence like that in person. It had happened so fast. Geldis pushed a key into her hand, whispering, "Go lock yourself in my room. Now."

She ran, hearing the tension in Geldis' voice as he addressed the bodyguard. "Slitter, I don't know what this is about and I don't plan to. Tell the Redoran guard whatever you want, just  _get out of my inn_."

She closed herself in Geldis' room and locked the door. Blood was thundering through her ears as her mind raced. She'd seen everything- heard everything. Would they want to kill her? Would they kill Geldis? She bent over, leaning against the door, her stomach lurching. She became aware of the throbbing in her cheeks where Gjollmir's fingers had dug and she reached out her hands to the floor to steady herself. She crawled to the corner and curled into herself, the scars of her first days torn anew.


	19. Lost Comfort

_With her cheery little flowers nestled happily in their new homes on the window box, she steps back and observes the bright pink and orange impatiens and swaying clusters of creeping jenny with a satisfied smile. The bright, clear sun warms her skin despite the breeze that still carries a fading winter chill. She hears car tires rolling into the driveway and turns to see Samuel arriving home from work. She walks toward him as he gets out of his car, a bright blue civic he had just bought a month prior._

_"Do you like the flowers?" she asks as he leans in for a kiss._

_"They're perfect."_

_"You didn't even look," she scolds as she snakes her arms around his waist and looks up at his handsome features. The breeze is tousling his chestnut hair, rays of sun revealing a tinge of red._

_He smirks and turns his hazel eyes toward the window boxes to make a show of looking. "I don't know, Vee, a few of those flowers might be wilting."_

_She scoffs, "What do you know about flowers?" She pushes him away playfully and he tightens his arms around her, pulling her closer._

  _"Mmmm, nothing." He nuzzles into her neck, the tickle of his breath making her giggle. "But you smell really good."_

_In his arms, surrounded by his solid presence, she doesn't worry about the talking heads that harp about the constant volatility around them._

_It's far away, out of their control, it's another world._

_A strange sound causes her to open her eyes and in the distance, a cloud rises, billowing into the shape of a mushroom. The dreaded sirens begin the song that heralds the end of life as she knows it. The sky is red. Samuel has stopped moving and when she steps away she tries to scream but finds that her voice has fled. His face is slack, his skin burnt, black holes where his eyes should be._

_Her voice returns. "Sam! No!" A strong gust of wind explodes his charred frame and she covers her face with her arms as his ashes blow around her. The wind is constant, searing, and she has to run to the house for cover. Barely three steps in the door she is thrown against the wall, the weight of a heavy body pins her._   _She looks up to see green skin and a malevolent smile with two protruding bottom teeth._

_"I've been looking for you."_

* * *

"Vanya!" Niyya's voice pulled her from sleep. "You're having a nightmare, wake up."

She sat up, breathing heavily. Niyya was sitting close to her on her bed, rubbing her back. "You're alright, you're safe," she soothed.

Vanya leaned into her friend's embrace. "No, I'm not."

"Shhh." Niyya stroked her hair. "I'll stay with you, okay?" She nestled into the bed and pulled Vanya down into her arms. "Come and sleep, things will be better in the morning."

* * *

Bralsa was reclined against a rock, blowing 'O's with the smoke from her pipe. "I'm getting pretty good. I can't believe I never learned this until now."

Vanya smiled while scrubbing sheets on the washboard.

She continued, "You know, the Imperial that taught me this said the trick is to make a face like you're sucking a dick."

Vanya scoffed, "How is it he learned it then, I wonder?" She raised her brows at the dunmer, laughing as her expression went from smug to disturbed.

The corner of her mouth quirked up. "I may have to ask him that."

They sat in companionable silence, the only sounds being the swish of water and the inhale and exhale of smoke. After a few minutes, Bralsa mused, "I heard they're shipping Mogrul and Slitter off the island today. I guess killing three miners in the tavern doesn't make one very popular, even if it was in self-defense."

"Good riddance," Vanya spat. She would have preferred a public hanging but there weren't any formal charges on either of them because, on the advice of Geldis, she had not reported what she heard that day. Geldis was afraid that Mogrul would put a bounty on her head if he thought she was responsible for his imprisonment. The fear was not unfounded since the man who had escaped the barrow had not been seen since his brother's confrontation. Whether he'd fled or disappeared due to more nefarious reasons, nobody knew. If anyone else had information, they were keeping their mouths shut, too.

Water splashed from the rinse bucket as she tossed the scrubbed sheets in a little too hard.

She wasn't talking about Gjollmir either. Geldis knew that something had happened and complied when she'd asked him to make good on his offer to ban the nord from the tavern. It did little to make her feel secure. Gjollmir walked freely around town and though it galled her, it galled her more how she'd stood there and done  _nothing_. He'd put his hands on her. She was disgusted.

"Are you nearly done? I need to be getting to the mine soon," Bralsa interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes, just one more sheet."

Unable to trust herself, she'd insisted on not being alone outside the Netch. It wasn't too difficult since she and Niyya always drew water together in the morning and she could usually manage to snatch Bralsa for a while before she went to the mine for the day. Mostly she stayed in the tavern. Her safety bubble used to be Raven Rock, now it had shrunk to the Retching Netch.

"Bralsa..." Vanya asked as she dumped out the wash bucket.

"Hmmm?" Bralsa got up to dump the other, then stacked the buckets together to carry.

"Do you know how to fight? Like, to defend yourself?" She gathered the laundered sheets to hang inside by the hearth. They'd be full of ash if left out in the open.

"I carry this dagger but usually if I have any problems, a fireball to the face gets me out of it," she said with a crooked grin.

 _Figures._  Vanya wished she could do magic. She really didn't know whether she could, to be honest. How would she even find out?

She sighed, "I think if I carried a dagger, it'd be more of a danger to me than anyone else."

* * *

"There's a tray of bread in the oven and other than that everything should be ready." Niyya said as she untied her apron. "I'll tell Geldis you're back."

"Thanks, have fun." Vanya smiled, knowing Niyya would be going straight to Glover's house. She was grateful that the redguard had spent the last few nights with her as she struggled with her nightmares.

"Vanya, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Okay," she said, stirring a pot of horker stew.

"Who is Sam?"

Vanya nearly dropped the wooden spoon. "What?"

"In your dreams, you often call for Sam. Are you...remembering anything?"

Her heart melted as her mind drifted to twinkling hazel eyes. She blinked the memories away, going back to stirring the pot. "I don't know anyone named Sam," she said quietly.

"Oh."

Niyya made no move to leave and Vanya could feel her lavender eyes boring into the side of her head, unasked questions hanging in the air.

"Are you going or not?" Vanya said sharply, not looking at her friend.

"Yeah," Niyya replied quietly and Vanya could hear the hurt in her voice. "See you tonight."

Vanya heaved a sigh. She should not have snapped like that and would apologize next she saw Niyya, but the question had blindsided her. She was hardly sleeping and what she managed was fitful. This could not continue; she had to do something to break the cycle she was in. It was apparent to her now that she would have to learn to defend herself, but how? Perhaps if she asked Fethis to get her a book about dagger techniques? That would be a start, at least. She knew that Glover would give her a good deal on a blade, and plenty of advice. Formulating a plan was already making her feel a little better.

* * *

A few days later she had a book called  _The Finer Points of Dagger Combat_  laid out on her bed along with a small steel dagger that Glover had simply given her when she had asked to buy one. It had even come with a nice little sheath that could attach to her belt. She picked up the dagger and lightly ran her finger on the flat of the blade which made the hair on her neck stand up. She couldn't imagine actually...stabbing someone with it. She set it back down and picked up the book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fyi, the title of the book is totally made up! XD I thought it was cheesy enough to pass the smell test.


	20. A New Look

"Geldis!" Vanya knocked on his door and walked in, not bothering to wait for an answer since his door was cracked open.

He was reclining on his bed with his eyes closed, smoking his long pipe. He peeked one eye open, speaking with the tip of the pipe in his mouth. "What is it?"

"I need your help with something." She pulled the dagger from her hip. She had been wearing it on her belt to get used to the feeling. "Would you cut my hair?"

He coughed a little as he laughed, "Why don't you have Niyya do it?"

"She's not here." Vanya raised an eyebrow at him as if that were obvious. "Come on, it will be easy. I already have my hair tied back in the right place. All you have to do is cut." She pulled his chair from the desk and sat down, holding the dagger over her shoulder for him to take.

He sighed as he got up, setting his pipe on the side table. "Fine, but if this goes poorly I don't want to hear about it," he said as he took the dagger.

"Just cut right underneath where I've got it tied, you can't mess it up."

She was practically giddy. She'd been sleeping better since her nightmares had finally abated and though she was nearly bored to tears staying inside the past couple weeks, it was a fair trade in her opinion. A haircut always made her feel renewed and she was more than ready for a change.

She held her breath as she felt him pull the dagger against the bundle of her hair, then the release as the blade cut through.

"This little blade is quite sharp," Geldis remarked as Vanya pulled her hair from the tie and tousled it. She smiled as it skimmed her shoulders perfectly. Now it just needed the layers.

She stood up and flipped her hair over, gathering it into another bundle. "Hold on, one more time. I saw this on...uh, I saw someone do this once." She snickered at the fact she had nearly told him she saw this on TV. It had been an infomercial and they'd used some special tool and not just a hair tie but she figured this would work well enough.

"There, do the same thing as before," she ordered, standing bent over with the ends of her hair loosely tied.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, it will be fine. I promise I won't be mad at you if it's not."

He said nothing more but she was sure he was shaking his head as he grabbed the ponytail and repeated the process. When it was done he stepped back and put a hand on his hip. "Alright, let's see my handiwork then."

She loosed her hair and flipped it back over, running her fingers through to smooth it out. "Well? It feels good, but how does it look?"

He smiled. "Quite fetching, actually. I'm a natural," he joked as he held the handle of the dagger out to her. She laughed and took it, returning it carefully to her belt.

"See? I told you it would be easy. Thank you." She reached out and hugged him tightly and after a moment he gently returned the hug.

"My pleasure."

Vanya spent the rest of the hour before supper sitting on the floor in front of her nightstand playing with her hair in a small mirror that she propped up between the drawer handles. She really liked the way it looked all down but she would have to tie the front back for work so she tested a few different braids, desperately wishing for bobby pins. She did use the dagger to shear off a few straggling bits here and there, but overall it had been a success.  _Of course, the first use of the dagger would be for something like this._

She had read the technique book through, but she had not yet had the chance to test anything out. The book was actually what had sparked the idea for the haircut. The author advised not having too long of hair since assailants can grab onto it and hinder movement. It was simply a practical- yet fun- first step in her combat training.

She was fluffing her hair and making faces in the mirror when Niyya walked in.

"Vanya! Your hair!"

* * *

They could hear it grunting on the other side of the sliding rock door. They'd tried every chain in this bloody maze of a tomb and still the wall would not move.

Roggir stood in front of the door- no doubt contemplating the best way to demolish it without bringing the entire tunnel down- while Erik leaned against the wall behind him. Teldryn paced the hallway they had come through, looking at every detail to see what they were missing. They were all tense seeing as they had just roamed nearly an entire tomb littered with dead draugr and miners, some of the more unfortunate looking to have been used for ritual sacrifice. The combination of confusion and disconcerting lack of conflict was now culminating on a single draugr who was taunting them from the other side of a very simple puzzle that none of them could seem to solve. Erik shifted against the wall, sighing, "Perhaps we should just take a pickaxe to it. There are certainly plenty of them lying around."

"I'll leave that to y- hold on..." Teldryn marched over to Erik, certain that he had heard the sound of metal against metal when the man had moved. "Get out of the way."

Erik pushed away from the wall and they both looked in shock at a chain. "Oh, I bet this is it," he remarked as he reached for it and pulled. The doorway Teldryn had just walked through slammed shut, the other swinging upward to reveal a Draugr Deathlord in the midst of taking a very deep breath.

"FUS RO DAH!"

"S'wit!" Teldryn hissed as they were thrown against the wall behind them.

"YOL TOOR!"

Roggir's fire breath immolated the Deathlord, but he still cut it down for good measure. He had avoided the draugr's shout by dodging to the side, his reflexes apparently honed razor sharp by his bumbling companion.

Teldryn and Erik got to their feet as Roggir stood in front of the burning pile that remained of the draugr, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips. Erik grunted as Teldryn punched him in the shoulder, yelling, "Foolish child! Perhaps you should use your brain every now and then!"

"Sorry, this place has got me all out of sorts," Erik replied as he rolled his shoulder.

"I advise you to sort yourself out quickly, before you get us killed," Teldryn bit out.

"Teldryn, that's enough," Roggir warned. Teldryn growled and stepped back, casting a calming spell on himself as the Dragonborn turned to his young follower. "Erik, this place has each of us out of sorts. There is some form of spirit at work here, troubling our minds." He put a hand on the shoulder of the younger man. "We must keep our wits about us and please," he used his free hand to emphasize his point, "pause for a moment before pulling any chains."

* * *

Teldryn and Erik sat on bedrolls in the abandoned mining camp outside Kolbjorn Barrow, both with eyes fixed on the Dragonborn, the Black Book in hand as his mind roamed Apocrypha, his ethereal form a stark blue glow against the night sky. Usually, Roggir would waste no time and read the book wherever he found it, but the depths of this particular tomb housed the rather malevolent spirit of a Dragon Priest none of them were keen on being near for too long. There was also the massive vault of coffins in the main burial chamber that spiraled upward beyond what the eye could see. It would not do to wait for the Dragonborn to return from Hermaeus Mora's realm with the threat of draugr falling on their heads.

Teldryn took a draw on his long pipe.

Not to mention the place stank of death thanks to the mad dunmer who had slaughtered the miners in a failed attempt to summon the Dragon Priest back from the dead.

He exhaled a plume of smoke.

Seeing as they found his body- indicated by a journal he kept on him- not all the miners were so willing to be sacrificed. He was glad that Roggir had seen fit to use a Shout to collapse the tunnel just inside the doors of the tomb, hoping to dissuade any further attempts to explore it.

"Strange that this is nearly over," Erik said as he cut into an apple with his dagger, eating the slice off the edge.

"I pray that when it is, he stands victor." Much was at stake if he did not prevail and not for the first time did Teldryn wonder how the weight of such a mantle would bear.

"He will," Erik said, looking at his idol with nothing less than worship. "He defeated the World-Eater, he can defeat some dusty old Dragonborn who got himself trapped by a Daedra. That would not happen to Roggir. And let me tell you," he tipped his dagger in Teldryn's direction to make a point, "they've been trying to ensnare him left and right."

Teldryn chuckled, "I can imagine." They sat quietly for a few moments in comfortable silence, him taking a few more pulls on his pipe as Erik chewed his apple. He had to admit to himself- and only himself- that he might miss Erik, as much as the boy aggravated him at times. They had whiled away many hours talking while Roggir explored the Black Books, becoming something akin to friends. The thought caused a squirming mote of guilt to make itself known for his behavior toward the young man in the barrow.

"Do you need me to heal your shoulder?" he asked with a teasing lilt to his voice, hoping the nord would hear the apology.

"Hah, you insult me." Erik smiled as he tossed the apple core into the darkness. "I've endured harder hits from a reikling."

Teldryn smiled in return, relieved he harbored no hard feelings about the matter. His tobacco was used up so he dumped out the ash and stashed the pipe. "Where will you go next? If Roggir succeeds?"

"I don't know. I think I'll just be glad to go anywhere where I can breathe without choking on ash, no offense."

"Why do you think I wear a cowl?"

"Because you're ugly," Erik deadpanned.

"N'wah!" Teldryn hissed as he sniped a pile of ash near the man's feet with a bolt of lightning. Erik jumped up to avoid it but the cloud had already engulfed him causing him to sputter and cough as Teldryn laughed merrily. He swished his mouth with water and spit, then decided to empty his waterskin over his head to clear the ash off his face, all the while trying to suppress a smile.

"Fucker," he said before shaking water from his hair like a dog.

Just then, Roggir's form coalesced and he closed the book. Teldryn stood up as he watched the Dragonborn take a deep breath through his nose, then exhale through his mouth, shaking his head lightly as if to cast off disorientation. He focused his eyes on Erik and blinked a few times at the man's dripping hair and armor that was dulled with a fine coating of ash, then cast a sidelong look at Teldryn who tried, and failed, to not look smug. Roggir closed his eyes like a long-suffering parent, then walked to his pack to retrieve a stamina potion. He downed the contents and the fatigue on his features seemed to lessen.

"So...?" Erik asked, not able to hold back any longer.

"I am close. This is nearly finished. We will rest here for the night and tomorrow..." Roggir set his mouth in a grim line. "We return to the Skaal."

Teldryn felt a sense of foreboding in his words. He glanced at Erik, whose expression revealed he had also picked up on it. The moment passed as Roggir laid down on a bedroll and said, "Teldryn, you get first watch."

Now it was Erik's turn to look smug as Teldryn rolled his eyes and murmured, "By Azura."


	21. Room Two

It was over. Miraak was gone.

Teldryn felt that a weight had been lifted from his mind that he had not realized was there. It made him shudder to think what might have happened if Roggir had failed, though he now felt that was an impossibility. The man had actually departed for Skyrim on the back of a great red dragon, his beaming young companion in tow. He might have gone with them if Roggir did not live in Windhelm. His lips curled in distaste as he remembered his years in the Gray Quarter.

As it was, he had made a comfortable profit in his adventures with the Dragonborn and would be quite content to rest on his laurels in the Retching Netch for a while. The outline of the Bulwark came into view through the haze of ash, illuminated by the setting sun, and he picked up his pace thinking of a big mug of Sujamma and a real bed.

* * *

He scowled as he leaned against the wall near the stairwell, his pack at his feet. There were far too many people in this tavern. Hardly a place to stand, let alone sit. He was positive that his usual room- or all the rooms- would be rented out as well. Modyn would let him sleep in the guard barracks, Teldryn knew, but a room with a door was highly preferable. His dark mood lessened slightly when he saw Vanya flitting around the room, a tray covered in full mugs and bottles balanced on one arm as she set the drinks in front of various patrons. He watched her freely behind the cover of his helmet and did not miss the momentary pause when she spotted him. Something looked different about her but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. She disappeared into the kitchen so he gazed around the room, observing all manner of man and mer, even a few argonians. Before the mines dried up the workers had mostly been dunmer so it was was a rather strange sight. Teldryn suspected word had spread of Roggir's involvement in its reopening and if the reception the man had received when visiting last was any indication it was really no wonder he chose to leave as he did.

He was about to approach the bar to talk to Geldis, who was deep in animated conversation with an imperial woman, when Vanya came out from the kitchen with three mugs, bringing two of them to the nearest table. She then walked straight to him with a smile, offering him the final mug. "Take off that helmet and stay awhile, why don't you?"

It was her hair. She had cut it to a length that grazed her shoulders, the body of it framing the fine features of her face. It really wasn't fair how pretty she was. He pulled off his helmet and pushed his cowl under his chin then took the offered mug with a grin. "I had planned to, but it would seem the place is already full." He tipped his head back slightly as he took a drink.

Her smile faltered as her eyes went round. "That scar on your chin! You didn't have that last time."

"This?" He grazed the scar that cut across his jaw with his thumb. "A dwarven sphere gave me that. Cut a hole in my cowl, too," he said irritably as he poked his fingers through the gash in the fabric.

"Looks like it bled a lot." She winced, then the corner of her mouth twitched. "But at least your cowl is already red."

He shook his head, chuckling. "I suppose that's one way of looking at it." Her dark eyes glittered with good humor and he had to take another drink to hide a ridiculous grin that was threatening to stretch across his lips.

Her expression turned thoughtful and she glanced around. "Where are Roggir and Erik?"

He squashed the flicker of resentment at their names on her lips the moment it flared, contented further by the answer he could give. "They've gone back to Skyrim."

"Oh," she said lightly. "I'm surprised they made it to the port without a crowd seeing them off."

"That's because they did not go to the port." She knit her brow and he smirked. He was going to enjoy this. "They rode a dragon."

He was rewarded when she stared at him, her mouth dropping open.

* * *

She collected herself as she realized she was gaping. "Did you say dragon? As in, an  _actual_  dragon?" She knew Roggir was called the Dragonborn but she wasn't sure what that meant and had been skeptical about there being true, living dragons. She really needed to stop being surprised by things that existed in this world.

Judging by the amused look on his face she wasn't sure if she should believe him. She put a hand on her hip, "Are you pulling my leg?"

He tilted his head in confusion as he glanced at her legs and back up. "What?"

"Oh, sorry. I meant- are you joking with me?"

The corner of his mouth curled back up. "No, they truly did ride a dragon."

She was about to ask if he'd ever ridden one when she heard Geldis' voice. "Teldryn Sero! Welcome back, my friend." The two men briefly clasped arms in greeting.

"I see that business is very good for you, Geldis."

"Yes, it's very busy indeed." Geldis turned his eyes on Vanya and she smiled sheepishly. "I wondered where my barmaid had gone but now..." His eyes slid back to Teldryn with a sly grin. "I see."

Vanya felt the mother of all blushes rising in her cheeks and without a word turned on her heel and escaped to the kitchen. She leaned her back against the counter where Niyya was arranging two plates of very rare-looking horker steaks and placed her hands on her warm cheeks in an attempt to cool off.

"What happened to you?" Niyya asked, quirking her brow up.

"Teldryn is back."

"Oh, 'the sellsword'?" she drawled, referring to Bralsa's little rumor.

"He  _can't_  know about that!" Vanya tried not to shout as the blush returned with a vengeance.

"I never did get a look at him," Niyya remarked as she peeked through the archway into the tavern. "Is he the one speaking with Geldis?" Her eyes were round as she looked at Vanya. "That is one handsome dunmer."

"Yeah, that's him." Vanya shook her hands to steady her nerves. "I was doing fine until Geldis came up and completely embarrassed me."

Niyya scoffed, "By the Eight, he would." She finished dressing the plates and held them out to Vanya. "Take these to the two bosmer by the hallway, would you please?"

As she set the plates in front of the two elves, Geldis emerged from the hall. "Ah, Vanya, once you have gone around would you change the linens in room two? I've put Teldryn in there but we've not had a chance to clean it."

Vanya narrowed her eyes at him but said nothing, nodding at his request. She thought all the rooms were taken, but perhaps the merchant that had rented that room had checked out early. She had hoped busying her hands would help alleviate the tension she felt, but now it only grew as she nearly finished making her rounds. It wasn't like she was even infatuated with Teldryn- though one would have to be blind to not find him attractive- but the fact that everyone was insinuating things about them made her feel very awkward. She was not looking for any kind of relationship. Her eyes flicked to her bare ring finger and her heart ached for only a moment before she willed the feeling back into the vault.

She was starting to feel a bit frayed and thought perhaps she should ask Niyya to change the linens for her when she remembered- she still needed to pay Teldryn back. The privacy of the room provided the perfect opportunity for such a thing. Before grabbing the linens from the storeroom, she went to her chest and pulled out the little bag that Teldryn had given her, filling it with one hundred septims. With a goal in mind, she was feeling much more confident as she headed to his room.

* * *

Sitting at the small table in his bedroom, Teldryn set his pipe on its stand and blew smoke out of the side of his mouth as he picked up an amethyst and magnifying glass. He had amassed a small fortune in jewels and wanted to sort them by quality before setting them in front of a merchant for appraisal. Not to mention he needed something to do while he waited for the linens to be changed on the bed, since Geldis said the previous renter had left unexpectedly only hours before. He was eternally grateful to whatever forces had pulled them away. Though his armor was like a second skin, he was relieved to be out of it and was greatly looking forward to sleeping comfortably for the first time in months.

 _A few scratches on that one._ He set the amethyst aside and picked up an emerald, holding it up to the candlelight while taking another pull from the pipe. There was a knock at the door. He exhaled the smoke and set the emerald down, throwing a cloth over the pile of gems as he got up.

"Who is it?" he called through the door before turning the lock.

"It's me," came the slightly muffled reply. "Vanya."

His luck just kept getting better. He had certainly not expected her after her hasty retreat due to Geldis' teasing. She had flushed very prettily. He turned the key and pulled the door open.

"Housekeeping!" she said brightly as she walked in with a stack of linens. He smiled and closed the door, walking over to the table sit against the edge while he smoked.

She set the stack down on the chest at the foot of the bed and looked at him for a moment, then at their surroundings. "You know, this is the room I stayed in," she commented, turning to strip the furs and linens from the bed.

"Oh? My room- or I suppose it used to mine- is the one across the hall."

She pursed her lips as she stuffed the pillow into its new casing. "You might not get that one back, that's where the bard stays. Unless you can convince him to trade, that is." She tossed the pillow onto the chest and went for the clean bed linen.

He shrugged, "It's a bit smaller but think I can get used to this one. I'll just have to remember to turn right instead of left."

She laughed as she tucked the cloth into the corners then the bed creaked as she crawled onto it to do the other side, seeing as it was against the wall. His eyes widened and he raised his brow in surprise, nearly choking on the smoke he'd just inhaled. He recovered himself quickly, inwardly cursing his sense of propriety as he blew smoke upward, watching it rise and fan out as it hit the ceiling.

* * *

She realized what she had just done and froze momentarily. She hadn't even been thinking, muscle memory just taking over as she was trying to work quickly. Things had just gone from awkward to the plot of a bad porno. A glance his direction revealed that he was looking up, which made her feel better- and worse. She ignored the feeling the sight of his adam's apple gave her and quickly shoved the sheet around the mattress searching her mind desperately for something to say.

"It's lucky you got this room at all," she forced out, trying to keep her tone light. "Especially with the New Life festival approaching."

"I had not even realized it was," he replied. "There's not been much celebration here for many years."

"I think that's all changed now," she huffed as she got back to her feet and turned to grab the furs to spread them out. "Geldis is taking 'New Life' literally and going all out." From the corner of her eye, she could see he was watching her again. She fluffed his pillow a few times as she placed it on the bed then stepped back with a tight grin. "There, all set."

"My thanks."

She met his eyes with her own and they immediately betrayed her by glancing over his form that was now uncovered by armor.  _Wow, he is incredibly fit._  She forced them back to his face. He raised an eyebrow, the tip of his pipe resting between lips that were slightly curved upward.

She needed a distraction.

She cleared her throat and gathered up the old linens from the floor, wadding them under one arm. She nearly bid him goodnight before she remembered the other reason she'd come.

"Oh!" Her free hand shot into the pocket on her apron. "There is one more thing..." She pulled out the bag of gold holding it up to him as she crossed the room. He did not move, his eyes slid briefly to the bag and back to her face.

"I'm paying you back. I know I could never properly thank you for saving my life, but the least I can do is return your gold."

" _My_  gold?" He knit his brow. "I did not expect it to be repaid, else I wouldn't have given it."

"But..."

"No."

She pursed her lips and sucked in through her nose. Why couldn't he just take it? "It's a lot of money, Teldryn." She lifted the bag higher between them.

"I am well aware, Vanya."

"So?" She extended her hand further, nearly pressing the bag to his chest.

"I'm not taking it." He crossed his arms, causing her to pull back a little, and tilted the tip of the pipe back into his mouth as if to end the conversation.

She glared at him for a few moments, before thinking perhaps she should try a different approach. She blinked and softened her gaze, relaxing her shoulders. "It would really make me feel better if you accepted it."

He tilted his head and blew smoke from the corner of his mouth, the red of his eyes darkening as he narrowed them. "And it will offend me if you continue to insist."

 _Okay, you win._ She swallowed and put her hand down, feeling abashed. Still, for some insane reason, she wanted to exert some measure of control over the situation so she lifted her chin defiantly, feigning indifference, "Fine." She raised a finger at him. "But don't expect any special treatment." She whirled away from him but not before catching a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said as she reached for the door handle. "Hold on..." She stopped and he crossed the room until he was standing within arm's reach. He gestured to the bag still in her hand. "Put that back in your pocket before you leave. There are many strangers here."

She nodded and did as he said, recognizing the wisdom in his advice. "Goodnight," she said as she opened the door and stepped into the hall.

* * *

"Goodnight," he replied. She glanced over her shoulder once more before disappearing down the hallway.

He shut the door and crossed the room toward the table, chuckling as he remembered the way her nose flared and lips pressed together as she became frustrated. After tapping the ashes from his pipe into a pot he set it down then picked up the candle to move it to the side table. He pushed the furs aside and stretched out on the bed with a groan, reaching up to extinguish the flame of the candle between two fingers. He could all but hear his bones creaking in appreciation as he settled in for the night and the last thought that crossed his mind before he drifted off was that Drovas had never fluffed his pillow.


	22. Facing Off

Modyn's fist connected with his ribs and Teldryn sorely missed his chitin armor as his breath was pushed from his lungs. He flared a fireball up between them as he backed away, sucking in air as the captain cursed him. They circled briefly with swords raised, Teldryn squinting in the sun without the shade of his helmet. He'd left his entire set of armor with Glover for repairs and had donned his old netch leather, the helmet of which had always chafed his ears so he'd decided not to wear it.

Good sport that he was, Modyn had removed his helmet as well and Teldryn could have made him regret it with an elbow to the chin instead of retreating but he'd needed to get distance from the captain's feet.

"Almost got you that time," Modyn said with a grin as he stepped toward him.

"I'm just letting you build up some confidence."

"Feh, you could do with a little humility yourself," the captain chided as he arced his sword down. Teldryn dodged and feinted with his sword to the right, returning the jab to the gut as the captain raised his arm to parry. It did little more than causing the larger man to grunt in annoyance, though it gave Teldryn the precious second he needed to sweep his leg behind the man's feet. He connected with nothing as Modyn twisted away then stretched his own leg out in a back sweep toward the foot that Teldryn still had on the ground.

"No!" Teldryn barked with a laugh as he put all his effort into hopping over Modyn's leg while being thrown off balance by his own momentum. He landed somewhat clumsily and had to take a few steps back to steady himself, quickly readying for another assault.

He'd knocked Modyn on his back once already and they were going for best of three. The captain was the only one Teldryn could spar with who would give him a workout since he had seen actual battle and was not as entirely predictable as the rank and file. Teldryn could cut through all of them in his sleep. Sometimes when the two of them were bored- and because they were so familiar with each other's fighting style- they would put conditions on their contest to make it more interesting. They had more practical ones like disarming one another or boxing the ears, and more frivolous ones like landing a slap on the face. Today was one of his favorites where they had to sweep the other's feet out from under him.

Teldryn again dodged Modyn's cross and spun before sweeping his sword back in retaliation, his actions garnering coos and gasps from the women that were hanging their legs off the edge of the Bulwark stairway next to the training yard. It had been a long time since there had been any crowds that gathered to watch their sparring, but the town was now brimming with curious onlookers. The elder of the temple likely did not appreciate all the foot traffic bypassing his door as people made their way to the yard.

Teldryn also knew his more serious-minded sparring companion did not appreciate being a spectacle, so it was with this knowledge he made a show of spinning his sword in his hand, earning him more coos and a dark glare from the captain. He parried another cross and pulled out his dagger, pressing Modyn with a series of blinding fast down-strokes in an attempt to keep his momentum moving backward and just when he felt he'd pushed far enough he kicked low hoping to trip him by knocking one foot into the other. By some divine intervention, the captain recovered his footing and though he was still off-balance, Teldryn was, too. The captain smirked and jabbed his leg toward Teldryn's planted foot bringing him down painfully on his knee. A shove to the shoulder followed and as Teldryn fell he locked his arm around the leg closest and pulled.

Both men were flat on their backs.

"That's two," Teldryn said, eyes watering as the fully risen sun punished them.

Modyn laughed, "It doesn't count if you only took me down because you fell."

He sat up. "You can't add rules at your leisure. Are your feet not out from under you for the second time?"

"Boethiah curse you," the captain groused as he rolled over and got to his feet.

Teldryn stood, wincing as the knee he landed on throbbed. His chitin armor had better knee guards. He cast a healing spell and moments later the pain alleviated. As the two men walked toward the door to the barracks, a woman called from the stairs. "Can I hold your sword?" A fit of laughter erupted from the group and Teldryn shook his head as Modyn held the door open with a wicked grin.

"I think she was talking to you," he said as he shut the door behind them and they headed toward their clean sets of clothing.

"And eighty year old me would have listened. It's not worth the hassle," Teldryn said, shucking off his armor. "They're mad."

"Perhaps if you stuck to one..." Modyn proposed as he followed suit.

"And allow the madness to infect me? I think not. The only women I'll consider are ones I can easily get away from." He pulled his sweat-soaked shirt over his head before adding with a shake of his head, "Even then..." He simply didn't have the patience anymore to deal with the longing looks that eventually turned sour when his lust didn't turn to affection. And worse was the tedious drama that ensued if he showed interest in another. He was exhausting his mind just thinking about it.

"One is not so bad," the captain smirked as he laced up clean breeches.

"I've finally lost you, hm?" Teldryn quipped, glancing over and briefly remembering the way he used to envy the older man's physique in his youth before he learned to appreciate the advantages his own leaner frame provided. "How did you get old Fethis to change his mind anyhow?"

The captain had fully dressed and started reapplying his armor. "He didn't. Dreyla just stopped caring. If I knew nearly dying at the hands of the Morag Tong was what it was going to take, I'd have done it years ago."

Teldryn paused momentarily while lowering his clean shirt over his stomach."Morag Tong?"

"Ah, that's right. You were not here for that. Turns out the Severins were planning to take out Counselor Morvayn, courtesy of the Ulens and House Hlaalu."

"That is...quite a plot," he chuckled as he started reapplying his own armor. "How was it discovered?"

"In truth," The captain leaned against a wooden support, glancing around to make sure they were alone. "It all started with Vanya."

Teldryn gave him an incredulous look and the captain began a recount of the events. Teldryn was pulling on his gauntlets when the captain got to the part about Vanya going into the tomb. "Hold on." He stepped toward Modyn, standing face to face. "You knowingly sent her, an unarmed barmaid, into a dangerous situation involving the Morag Tong? I thought you had more sense than that."

The captain put his hands up defensively. "She performed flawlessly. I'm sure my own guards could not have done better. I planned carefully, Teldryn, her safety was assured."

"A foolish thing to say." Teldryn waved his hand in dismissal as he turned and began pacing to burn off his growing anger. "You can't assure things like that."

"It was the best method I had at my disposal to catch them."

" _Disposal_ ," Teldryn spat as he pinned the other man with a glare. "Her  _life_  is not something for you to use at your disposal like you would one of your guards. She's..." he bit his lip and continued pacing, stopping himself before he revealed more than was appropriate. That she was not like other women who may have understood better what they were getting involved with.

Modyn crossed his arms."First of all, she agreed to it." Teldryn rolled his eyes, knowing how pushy the captain could be. Before he could retort Modyn continued, "And you are the only other who knows of her involvement and I have only told you because I know you can be trusted. There will be no writs against her." That fact did mollify him slightly but it would be a long time before he forgave his friend for putting Vanya's life in such danger.

"It was irresponsible." He strapped on his sword belt and made to leave.

"I won't apologize for doing my job."

"Imagine if it were Dreyla!" he said sharply as he turned back around, advancing a few steps. "Would you have sent her under the same circumstances?"

"Of course not. But Dreyla is to be my wife." Modyn approached him with a curious look. "What is Vanya to you?"

Teldryn blinked as he realized the implication he'd made and the corner of Modyn's mouth twitched.

"That's not the point," he muttered as he again turned to leave, hearing the smirk in Modyn's voice as he spoke to his back.

"And you had the nerve to call  _me_  mad."

He stalked from the barracks with a glower, ignoring the women who were milling around the edges of the training yard trying their best to look comely. Modyn's attitude was a reminder of why Teldryn had never joined the Redoran guard. The captain was an old friend but their paths had split long ago when Teldryn had decided he preferred to not be a cog within a construct that would use him up with no regard for anything but its own goals. It was one thing to choose that life, it was another to use unsuspecting civilians like they were tools.

As he neared the market he saw the ornate drapery of the khajiit caravan tent, remembering that he had planned to stop in on his way back. He was not in much of a mood for it anymore, but seeing as they did not stick around for long he decided he'd better take advantage of the moment.  _Perhaps they have some of that minty tobacco I got last time..._


	23. Sharing Bread

Teldryn's disposition was greatly improved as he strolled into the Netch, having just acquired a packet of tantalizing tobacco from the khajiit traders. He would prefer to smoke out in the open air but with the New Life festivities beginning in the evening, the bustle of the crowded market was going to diminish his enjoyment. The interior of the inn was still busy, but as it was not yet time for the midday meal it was bearable.

He scanned the room as he headed for the hallway and his mood improved further when he saw to his left a certain outworlder sitting alone at the table nearest the kitchen. A vision of her crouching scared and helpless in a dark tomb flashed before his eyes and his irritation at Modyn flared before he tamped it down. She was obviously fine and since he had not really spoken with her since his arrival two nights before, he decided now was the time to remedy that. As he approached, Vanya cut a segment from a loaf of bread on the table then spread red jelly over it -likely comberry. She was in the process of sucking off a morsel that had strayed to her thumb when she spotted him. She quickly lowered her hands and with a tinge of pink spreading in her cheeks she greeted him, "Hi."

He fought the urge to stare at her comberry stained lips and took a steadying breath, gesturing to the empty chair across from her. "May I sit?"

"Yeah, do you want some of this?" She nudged the bread toward him.

"I wouldn't mind." He eyed the jelly as she passed the bread knife. "No scrib?"

She tilted her head at him with a gleam in her eyes, "I think that's an acquired taste." She pushed up from her seat. "But I'll get some for you, be right back."

He would have told her he was jesting and liked comberry just fine but she was already walking away, so he said nothing.  _What is she doing carrying a dagger?_ He had not previously noticed it under the cover of the apron she usually wore.

She returned moments later with a small plate sporting a generous mound of scrib jelly, setting it in front of him. As she took her seat again he dipped the knife in the jelly, swiping it onto his bread with a sly grin. "So much for no special treatment."

The look she gave him nearly caused him to cough out the bread he'd just bitten off and he had to cover his mouth to laugh. She glared while pressing her lips together to suppress the smile that was pulling at them.

She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. "All it takes to make you feel special is a little scrib jelly, huh?"

He finally managed to swallow. "Sometimes."

The reprimanding look and amused tilt of her mouth as she stared at him began to stir an appetite that he knew the bread in his hand would not satisfy. He shoved the remainder of the bread in his mouth and chewed as he shifted in the seat so he could lean against the wall to look out over the room, regretting that his netch armor did not allow him to carry his pipe. He really needed to smoke.

"Have you seen the khajiit yet?" he asked, for a change of subject and out of genuine curiosity.

"Yes," she said, toying with the edge of her plate. "I saw them setting up their tent this morning when we were bringing in water. I would love to see all the things they have in there but I don't think I'll have time with the festival and all that. Niyya is working lunch and then it's all hands on deck for the next two days."

"What about right now?"

"I can't. Everyone is busy." He cocked his head at her, not sure what she meant. "I mean...I probably can't afford anything they sell anyway," she stammered as she picked up her bread and hastily took a bite. He furrowed his brow, recognizing a lie since he knew for a fact that she had at least one hundred septims to spare. What was making her so uneasy? He thought back to the first statement as he watched her fidget in her chair.

He turned toward her, leaning on the table with his elbows. "Do you mean to tell me that you are unable to walk across the market without someone to accompany you?"

* * *

His crimson gaze was so intense that she was having trouble coming up with an excuse. Every avenue her mind sought brought her back to the truth as he stared, his expression darkening.

She swallowed, picking her words carefully. "I choose to have company because...there is someone I want to avoid."

He lowered his voice, "Have you been threatened?"

"In- in a way," she replied, throwing a quick glance around the room.

"Tell me."

She bristled slightly. "I really can't talk about it."

"By whose command?" he asked, an edge creeping into his voice.

"No one's," she said defensively, leaning back in her chair with a huff. "But...it's complicated." Where would she even start if she could?

She saw his jaw twitch as he clenched his teeth. His sudden anger made her feel anxious so she started talking in an attempt to calm him. "But I'm safe in the Netch, and I always stay here close to the kitchen so I can see the stairs..."

Teldryn stood abruptly. "Come with me."

She made to get up but then hesitated. "Where?"

He looked down at her, his features drawn tight. "To my room so you can tell me why you keep looking over your shoulder and carry a dagger on your belt." He stalked toward the hallway not even looking back to see if she was following.

Part of her wanted to follow after him to scold him for his presumption that he could simply command her to come to his room and spill her secrets, as if he had any right. Though the farther he walked from her the more her desire grew to do as he said. She didn't know him, but he knew things about her nobody else did. He was safe. Even when she'd been in his room the other night and made a complete fool of herself, the only feeling she'd had was her own mortification _. That wasn't the only feeling._

She exhaled deeply."Nope, we're not going there, brain." At least he had armor on this time, even if it was far more fitted than his usual chitin. Before he disappeared into the hallway, she got up and hurried after him. It occurred to her as she crossed the room that people would be seeing her going to his room for the second time in three days and she inwardly cringed. As if the rumor mill needed more fodder.

Upon entering his room he immediately started preparing his pipe with quick, deliberate movements. Vanya watched him as she closed the door behind her and waited while he took a deep pull, then exhaled a long plume of smoke. He grinned stiffly as he said, "Those khajiit always have the best tobacco." He looked at her and pointed with the tip of the pipe. "You have to be careful though. I got some once that was laced with moonsugar. I twitched for a week." With his free hand, he grabbed the chair and dragged it over near the bed.

Vanya was still standing by the door, a knot forming in her stomach. She had become pretty good these last few months at scabbing over her bad experiences and the idea of picking at one was making her very uncomfortable. Why had she come in here?

She stared, unfocused, at a spot on the floor. What good was this really going to do?

He walked into her line of view and she looked up at him. "Vanya, tell me what troubles you."

She opened her mouth and she could hold it back no longer.

* * *

"...and then these three guys barged in and started yelling at Mogrul about all those deaths at the barrow..."

She sat on the edge of his bed as she spoke and although the bit of information about Mogrul was not insignificant-  _so that was who the benefactor in Ralis' journal had been referring to_ \- he found himself listening less as his thoughts centered on nothing more than driving his dagger into Gjollmir's gut in a way he knew would bring a most agonizing death.

For over a month the man had tormented her. Any relief gained knowing it was not threats from the Morag Tong against her quickly dissipated the more she told him of the nord. She had been vague on details at first but he had pressed for more until she started from the beginning. He wanted to know every look, every word, every action that had passed between them. The man had touched her, caused her pain. His fury was indescribable. Unfortunately, Modyn- friend that he still was- would not likely allow him to get away with murder so he would have to think of a more creative punishment. Perhaps it would gratify him enough to cripple the man's hands...

It disturbed him a little that he was so affected. He'd seen men do far worse than grab a woman's face and never felt the need to intervene, though the women of Nirn could usually give as good as they got and an aggressive man oftentimes limped away in regret. The tears sliding down her ruddy cheeks invoked a sort of madness in him. She was not of this world and her introduction to it had been less than ideal, to say the least. The altercation between Slitter and the miners was something he would not give a second thought, yet she described it as if it were the most awful thing she'd ever seen. He didn't know what her life on Earth had been like but it was very clear to him that it was vastly different than here.

"...so that's it," she sniffed. "I'm sorry I'm crying so much."

"There's no need to apologize."

"I do feel better, so thanks." She laughed a little. "You're kinda bossy, you know."

"Only when I'm right," he said with a mirthless grin.

She scoffed lightly. "Typical." She sat up straighter and fanned her face with her hands, giving a shuddering sigh. "God, I must look a mess."

Teldryn stared at her for a moment, at a loss for words as her simplest actions ignited his blood. Of course, what man would not desire a pretty girl sitting on his bed with wet, vulnerable eyes. And when those eyes met his, there was something else. A yearning he could not identify...

"Let me see that dagger of yours," he said abruptly.

"Oh," she looked down at the dagger on her hip and pulled it from its sheath, handling it timidly as she passed it over as if she thought it would strike out and bite her. He felt the weight of it then checked the balance, glad for a distraction from whatever it was that was going through his mind moments before.

"You really shouldn't carry a weapon you don't know how to use," he said as he twirled it in his hand. "It would more than likely be used against you." He flipped the blade and held the handle out to her.

"I'm trying to learn," she replied as she took the dagger and sheathed it with the utmost care. "from a book." He raised an eyebrow and could tell from the look on her face that she knew that was a ridiculous notion. The only way to learn to fight was from experience. He tilted his head at her in curiosity.

"It is so foreign to you. What do people on Earth do to defend themselves?"

* * *

Vanya stared at him, shocked at the sudden mention of her home. It was an innocent enough question but to answer it would be a foot in the door to memories she was not willing to explore. She was raw enough already from talking about experiences on Nirn.  _This has gone too far._

She stood up suddenly with a forced smile. "You know what, I think I could use a little retail therapy after all."

He squinted at her from his chair, clearly confused. "Retail therapy?" She grinned in amusement as he sounded out the strange phrase. It was utterly adorable.

"Yeah, especially now that I have a hundred septims burning a hole in my pocket courtesy of a certain stubborn mer." She inclined her head toward him with her hands on her hips, smirking as his face twisted further in bewilderment.

"Burning a..." He looked to her pants and back up to her face. "Speak Cyrodiilic."

She tilted her head back, laughing. "I mean to say that I'm going to see the khajiit caravan," she clarified through giggles. She twirled toward the door and pulled it open, looking back at him while waiting for a response.

He raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "You're going alone?"

She smiled fully and looked him up and down. "Nooo," she drawled as she walked out the door leaving it hanging open.


	24. Retail Therapy

She had bewitched him, he decided as he smoked outside the khajiit tent. Her coquettish behavior had been so unexpected he'd immediately gotten up to follow through the door she'd left open. She had confused him so thoroughly that it had taken him a contemptible amount of time to divine exactly what she wanted and by then, they were halfway to the caravan.

It had been a diversion, he now realized. She was quite clever. He may have been beguiled into accompanying her but he refused to go in since he'd already seen everything and it would be a waste of time. And perhaps out here he could see if any of the nord men matched the description of the skeever, Gjollmir.

"Khajiit hopes you brought enough tobacco," he heard a raspy voice say. He turned to see a khajiit in steel armor looking up at him with mischievous green eyes. "Your woman will likely be in there for some time."

Teldryn blew smoke out of the side of his mouth as he assessed the khajiit, deciding he would not correct his assumption. There really wasn't any point in doing so as the caravan would be gone in a couple of days. Instead, he asked, "What makes you say that?"

The khajiit's sharp teeth were on display as he smiled. "Kharjo has been with the caravan for many years. You will see."

* * *

Dazzled did not even begin to cover it. Between the khajiit themselves and range of exotic items on display in the market tent, Vanya was overwhelmed with excitement. It smelled strongly of incense and the wares were spread on rich carpets on the ground, while the walls of the tent were hung with beautiful tapestries, colorful draping linens lined with amulets, and an assortment of dried herbs. She half expected to see a gypsy with a crystal ball, though that would be quite ordinary compared to the reality of the fuzzy merchant that was watching her as she pored over a strange purple gem. It glowed with an alluring light that seemed like it was flickering and swirling almost as if it were alive. The khajiit called herself Ahkari- literally referring to herself in the third person- and had soft-looking gray striped fur. She wore a very nicely embroidered green and red dress with a red shawl.  _Kinda like a gypsy I suppose. A furry gypsy._  Vanya snorted and covered her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Why does the soul gem amuse you?" Ahkari asked.

"Soul gem?" Vanya set the gem down, staring into the khajiit's ice blue eyes that were twinkling with interest. "That light is a  _soul_?"

"Yes, you have never seen one?"

"I've never seen a lot of things," she replied plainly, rubbing her hands on her tunic.

Akhari blinked slowly, her whiskers twitching. A tapestry over her shoulder caught Vanya's attention. It was the size of a placemat with a soft blue background weaved with dark navy in the design of a sunburst with a sliver of a moon curving around one side. She recognized it as an homage to Azura. "How much is the tapestry?"

"That one is twenty septims. It is authentic Ashlander handiwork." Vanya only nodded, not wanting to seem too eager. She had been to flea markets before and had pretty good luck with haggling.  _Flea markets_. She bit her lip hard and turned to look very intently at some jewelry that was sitting on a barrel, trying to tamp down the hysterics that were threatening to escape.

"Ah, you have an eye for the finer things," the khajiit said, and Vanya could swear she heard a faint purring. She looked over the fine jewelry with interest though she had no intention of buying any. It was certainly fun to look at but she simply had no use for it. The khajiit seemed to pick up on her hesitance and must have interpreted it as her not finding something suitable because she pulled out a small chest and opened it. "Here, take a look. These are some of my more special pieces."

Vanya gazed into the chest politely and then spotted an item that made her eyes go round. "Is that a straight razor? For shaving?"

Akhari's ears twitched, the slits of her eyes widening in curiosity. "Yes," she drawled. "It's a very fine one made of silver and moonstone." She plucked it from the chest and handed it to Vanya who turned it over in her hands, all pretense of a shrewd customer dropped. She had never used a straight razor but she was willing to learn if it meant she could fulfill a basic hygienic need she had noticed the women of Nirn did not concern themselves with. She wanted to shave her legs.

"How much?"

"Sixty septims."

Vanya faltered for a moment but she knew this razor was not leaving her hands. It was hers. "I'll take it."

"This one wonders what you want with a razor...unless...", Akhari sidled in closer and lowered her voice. "You are buying it as a gift for your man, is that it?"

Vanya nearly corrected her but then stopped, realizing the advantage the misunderstanding gave her. "Yes, and since I know nothing about shaving, do you know what other sorts of things I might need to go with it?"

In the end, Vanya had a bar of soap that Akhari assured her would foam nicely, a tonic to soothe the skin and a few other small items that caught her eye.

"It will be ninety-five septims," the khajiit announced.

Vanya pulled out her bag that still held the one hundred she had tried to repay to Teldryn. Just before opening it to pull out five, she remembered the tapestry. "Round it to one hundred with the tapestry and we have a deal."

Akhari's ears flattened. "I think not. One hundred- ten."

"One hundred-two," Vanya replied. Surely Teldryn would spot her a couple of coins.

"One hundred- five."

"Deal."

* * *

He was staring at the sun for the tenth time, wondering whether he should go in the tent and drag Vanya out when the curtain drew back and she emerged. Empty-handed.

He scoffed, "You were in there all this time and you did not buy  _anything_?" He'd been convinced she'd be packing up the whole tent by now. He heard a snicker nearby and knew it was the khajiit from earlier.

"Ummm...not exactly." Her voice lilted upward as she spoke and he narrowed his eyes, sensing a question. She held a cupped hand up to him. "Can I borrow five septims? I'll pay you back right away, I promise."

He stilled his traitorous hand before it could reach for his pouch of gold. "I thought you had one hundred septims on you?"

"I do." She raised her eyebrows and a cheeky grin spread across her lips.

"Sheogorath's beard, what are you buying?" He shook his head, smirking as he gave in and pulled five coins from his pouch, placing them in her open palm.

She clasped the coins with both hands and held them to her chest. "Just some things I didn't know I needed until I saw them." She turned back to the tent and he felt the need to hasten her along, lest she continue to indulge her wandering eye.

"Make it quick, I'm hungry."

"I'll be right out!" she called as she disappeared through the curtains.

He caught the amused eye of the khajiit and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips, muttering, "Madness. This is madness."

Mercifully, she re-emerged moments later cradling a bundle wrapped in a blue shawl topped with a bunch of dried flowers tied together at the stems.

She smiled giddily at him. "Let's go. I'll buy your lunch to pay you back and make it up to you for causing you to wait so long."

He wanted to deny the offer to pay him back but he  _had_ waited for quite a long time, not to mention he had a feeling she would put up more of a fight about it than she had when he'd denied her previous attempt. Besides, it was only five septims and he was not keen to dampen the joyous glitter in her eyes by arguing over such a petty amount. He said simply, "Lead the way."


	25. Festival Games

"Will you have more?"

Her cheeks were flushed and eyes darkened from drink as she looked down at him with a lazy smile. He could not help the smile that spread across his own lips as he accepted and she traded the empty mug on the table for the full one in her hand. Many years ago he had determined precisely how much he could drink before he became addled and this would be the beginning of crossing that threshold. He sipped as he watched her make her way to another table with confident strides that would belie her current mental condition if she wasn't also running into every chair along the way. She was laughing and he liked seeing her relaxed and enjoying herself. Seeing her easy smile made him think it should always be there.

Over the last two evenings, he had sat at the same table near the kitchen where they had shared bread, watching the festivities. During the day there had been games and events around town but he had no interest in such things, so he had instead occupied himself by taking advantage of the presence of so many merchants to sell off items he had acquired during his travels with Roggir. As it was, he would be quite comfortable for some time. His current wealth was not so large that he could hang up his sword- not that he was near ready to- but traveling with the Dragonborn had been far more lucrative than any other job he had taken. So lucrative, in fact, he'd made a point to insist Roggir call upon him if he needed help in the future. Whether for him or someone else, Teldryn knew he'd leave again at some point and for the first time, it raised feelings in him other than the thrill of adventure. He took a long drink.

* * *

She wouldn't normally drink on the job but it was the final night of celebration for the New Life festival and she decided that she could stand to live a little. Especially since the stock of special Colovian wine Geldis had ordered in was starting to dwindle, it was now or never if she was going to get some. It was getting late and she'd had enough that she was getting light-headed, knowing that was a sign she had better slow down before she was rendered useless. She wished she could have enjoyed the festival more, instead of spending all her time working. She had to satisfy herself with only hearing about events like the archery contest and puppet show. Now that she had let the wine loosen her up though, it didn't seem so bad.

"Hey Niyya, how's it going?" she asked as the redguard exited the hallway with a look of disgust.

"The privy is an absolute wreck," Niyya griped, a slight slur in her voice. "I don't even think Ash Mountain could produce enough to cover that stench."

"You mean Red Mountain?" Vanya giggled.

"Yeah, what did I say?"

She snorted, " _Ash_  Mountain." Tears were already in her eyes as she laughed, the alcohol in her veins making the slip of tongue funnier than it had any right to be.

"Well, it might as well be!" Niyya said with a cackle as she made her way across the tavern.

Vanya was wiping her eyes and trying to keep the hysterics from returning as she pushed through the crowd toward a table near the bard that was littered with abandoned dishes. Ragnar the Red started up and Vanya groaned as she stacked cups in her arms. Honestly, she was not a fan of the any of the songs, but at least this guy could sing decently.

"Care t'dance?"

Her blood turned to ice as she recognized the heavily slurred voice. She did not even have a chance to turn before Gjollmir's arm clamped around her waist, pulling her back roughly against his body as his other hand grabbed clumsily at her chest. Dishes clattered to the floor as she tried with both hands to loosen his arm on her waist, emitting a panicked whimper as she realized it was a futile effort.  _He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here!_ The heat of his body infected her, her stomach roiling as he breathed on her ear, "Nasty bit o' business last time wasn't it." She choked on the scream that rose in her throat, unable to set it free despite every cell in her body willing her to do so. He was immovable as a brick wall, she didn't stand a chance.

Suddenly she was thrown forward onto the table as he released her, her vision hazy as she turned to see Gjollmir rearing back like he was being pulled by his hair. He swung his elbow with a cry as he turned around and the clamor of the crowd indicated that he'd connected with whoever had grabbed him moments before.

Niyya's voice caught her attention. "Vanya! Are you alright?" she cried as she rushed over to help her off the table.

Vanya shook her head as her face twisted into a sob and she clutched her friend like a lost child.

"Let's go," Niyya said as she led Vanya in the direction of the kitchen. When they moved far enough for her to see around Gjollmir's hulking frame, Vanya stopped. Teldryn was standing a few feet in front of the nord, pulling his fingers away from a bloody spot on his lower lip. He examined the blood on his fingertips for a moment, then his eyes slid up to the man and he smiled.

* * *

He'd seen the blow coming, but his inebriation had slowed his reaction time. The N'wah was proud of himself, standing there dumb as a horker, and Teldryn grinned wickedly, eyes narrowing on his opponent.

"So you're the elf, huh?" the man spat. "I expected better from a sellsword."

Teldryn heard but did not register the words, the din of the tavern faded, his senses picked up only the subtle shifts in the man's body language and the tang of his own blood in his mouth as he stepped toward him. Gjollmir's eyes widened and he pulled back to take a swing. Teldryn leaned back to dodge the clumsy punch then threw himself forward to slam his fist into the man's stomach, causing him to double over. A swift knee to the face brought the man back up and Teldryn shoved him against the table behind him. He regained his feet, leaning on the table, his nose and mouth dripping blood. It wasn't enough.

Teldryn advanced, the deadly whisper of his dagger the prelude to the man's atonement. The place on his side was exposed, he'd bleed out within minutes. Just then, Teldryn's arm was seized and he heard Geldis' voice.

"Teldryn, no! I've had quite enough blood spilled in my inn!"

The sounds of the tavern broke through his hearing and Teldryn blinked. He allowed Geldis to pull his arm down and stepped back, not taking his eyes from the nord who was straightening himself up, looking defiant.

"Coward, fight me like a real man," Gjollmir taunted, his speech garbled by blood and a broken nose.

"I'd rather not waste my time," Teldryn replied coldly.

The crowd parted and a group of four guards pushed through. "That's enough fun for tonight," said one of the guards as two of them seized Gjollmir. The other two eyed Teldryn warily as he still had his dagger drawn, though his arm was relaxed.

"Teldryn...er...I think you ought to come with us," said the guard who'd spoken previously. Teldryn narrowed his eyes and the guard put up his hands. "I'd appreciate if you'd sheathe your weapon. I'm not arresting you but I'm sure Captain Veleth will want to talk to you." He looked down his nose at the guard.

"Not arresting him. He's the one with the dagger drawn!" Gjollmir hollered. "Filthy gray-skins!" Teldryn made a show of sheathing his dagger, quirking his brow up at the snarling nord.

"Get him out of here," the guard ordered.

As the others dragged Gjollmir away he sneered, "Oy, Vanya. Does his cock taste like ash just like everything else in this fucking town?"

All eyes in the room turned toward her except for Teldryn's, his still glinting with malice at the man being dragged up the stairs as he cursed.

"Uh, Teldryn?" the guard said timidly. "You coming or not?"

"Yes."

* * *

He was in Modyn's office in the process of healing his split lip when the captain sauntered into the room, closing the door behind him. Modyn sighed heavily as he walked around his desk to take his seat.

"You mind telling me why you nearly gutted a man in the tavern?"

"He attacked Vanya, I pulled him off, he wanted a fight," he said lazily. "So I gave him one."

"Not much of a fight when you're pulling your dagger, Teldryn. Was it really necessary to try and kill him? I know the life of a sellsword is 'kill or be killed' but you're not on a job, you don't get to kill everyone who offends you." Teldryn glared coolly as the captain rubbed his forehead. "For the love of Azura, he's just a fucking drunk miner."

Teldryn curled his lip. He'd gotten carried away, he should have given the man his beating and finished him off later. He rolled his neck to ease his frustration. "What are you going to do with him."

"Probably hold him for a day or two and levy a fine for disturbing the peace."

" _Not_  good enough."

The captain waved his hand carelessly. "I'll make it a heavier fine."

Teldryn sneered, "More septims in your coffers is certainly the pinnacle of justice."

"What would you have me do?" the captain pinned him with a glare. "I can't hold him indefinitely for getting into a brawl."

Teldryn brooded for a moment, pursing his lips. "Let me talk to him," he said calmly.

Modyn huffed, "You think me a fool? I'm not going to let you kill a man in my jail cells."

He leaned forward in his chair, seething, "You certainly place a lot of value on this man's life when you so easily sent an unarmed woman to spy on assassins."

"Oh, by the Daedra!" Modyn threw his hands up. "Are you still on about that?"

"Of course! Why would that have changed?" he shouted as he stood up.

Modyn got to his feet in response. "Because it's done! It's over!"

"Is that so? What was her reward, hm? For being a tool in your investigation?"

"She didn't ask for anything."

Teldryn sighed, "Of course she didn't." He walked around the desk coming to a stop in front of the captain, scrutinizing him. "You so readily assured her safety when it suited your purposes, yet now she's been living in terror from  _this man_  for weeks and you don't even give a shit."

Modyn raised a finger between them. "That's not fair. I didn't know that."

"Well, now you do." Teldryn crossed his arms. "So what are we going to do?"

* * *

"Hand over your sword and dagger first."

Teldryn rolled his eyes but complied, pulling off his sword belt and tossing it on the table next to the entrance of the jails. "Happy?"

"No. And control your fire. If he ends up a smoking corpse I will be  _very_  upset."

Teldryn held up his hands, waving his fingers. "Bare hands only. On my honor."

Modyn only scowled, opening the door the jail. "Let's get this over with."

They walked down the corridor of empty cells, Modyn holding his right hand open as green light swirled into his palm. They stopped in front of the last cell to the right where Gjollmir sat on the floor with his back against the wall, his face still injured and covered in drying blood, perhaps learning that insulting the race of those who arrest you makes them not so willing to lend aid. He stood up, glaring defiantly as he opened his mouth.

"Mind your tongue," Modyn hissed, casting the energy in his hand through the bars of the cell at the man before he could utter a sound. Gjollmir stiffened before falling limply to the floor with a thud. Modyn unlocked the cell door and slid it open roughly then turned to Teldryn. "Make it quick." Teldryn nodded and the captain stepped closer, his gaze severe. "After this, we're even. Understood?"

"Perfectly."

Modyn brushed past him and Teldryn waited until he heard the close of the door before he looked over at the man, lying so still he could be dead except for the rise and fall of his chest. Teldryn walked over to the nord until he was right on top of him, a foot on either side of his waist. Squatting down, he studied Gjollmir's face with disappointment as the spell did not allow it to show the fear he knew the man must be feeling. Still, the quickening of his breathing told Teldryn it was there.

There was all manner of things he wanted to say, but Modyn's magicka would not last indefinitely and the jail guard that had been sent away on an errand would return soon. He picked up one of Gjollmir's hands.

"When the guard returns you will request to be sent back to Windhelm." He grasped two of the man's fingers and twisted them back with a sneer until he felt the joints give way, the nord's breathing jumped erratically though his body gave no other indication of the pain. Beads of sweat were forming on Gjollmir's brow as Teldryn moved his hand to the next two fingers. "You will not tell the guard that myself or the captain were here." He repeated the action, the sound of the bones snapping into positions they shouldn't be serving as a balm to his fury. He dropped the mangled hand unceremoniously and reached for the other, tilting his head slightly when he thought he heard a very faint, strangled groan from the man's chest.

He leaned down over the man's face as he twisted the next two fingers, seething, "You don't like being at the mercy of another, do you?"

He finished off the last two fingers with brutal efficiency and stood up. "If I see you, if she sees you, if you contact her, if I so much as hear a  _whisper_  of your presence, I swear by Mephala I will cut off your pink little cock and shove it down your throat while you bleed out."

Teldryn closed and locked the cell door behind him then walked back up the corridor, leaving the prone man in silent agony. When he emerged from the jail he held the key up to Modyn. "Done."

Modyn snatched the key from him and his eye twitched as he released the spell. Immediately anguished cries emitted from behind the jail door and Teldryn smirked, the sound extinguishing the remnants of his anger.

"Feel better?" Modyn drawled.

"I do," he said lightly as he picked up his sword belt and strapped it on. "You know, it's strange. The Redoran guard merely impressed upon him the virtues of keeping his hands to himself and he got so upset he punched the walls until his fingers broke." Teldryn glanced at the captain, "At least, that's what your report says, correct?"

The corner of Modyn's mouth quirked up as the pair walked away from the jail. "Are you sure you weren't an Ordinator in your past life?"

"I'm not the one with the paralyzing spell. Or would you have me believe you learned that merely for academic achievement?"

Modyn laughed to himself quietly then turned toward the barracks, calling over his shoulder. "Still on for tomorrow?"

"Of course."


	26. Harsh Reality

Humiliation could not even begin to describe it. At least the first time it had happened no one else had seen. She'd been molested in front of the entire tavern and the things he'd said...

Even as every eye had turned to her, Teldryn hadn't moved. He'd come to her aid and received a bloody lip for it, then got in trouble with the guards. He'd nearly murdered the man! If she hadn't been drinking she might have been more aware of her surroundings. She hadn't even thought of the dagger on her hip, it might as well be decorative. A costume.

She was a fraud. Yes, she knew the names of things and places in this world, she acted like she belonged as she drew water from the well and scrubbed sheets on a washboard like she was in Little House on the Prairie. It was all pretend until the blades came out and blood soaked the floors. This world was raw with violence and Teldryn was perhaps the most violent of them all. The red of his eyes had flashed with a terrible glee as he smiled with blood on his teeth. Perhaps that was what it took to survive a world like this one. She didn't have it in her. She was destined to be nothing more than a constant victim and though she was already painfully aware of that, now everyone else saw it, too.

Vanya didn't even want to show her face. She'd spent the morning in bed and begged Niyya to work the floor for lunch so she could hide in the kitchen. She'd hopefully be able to do the same for dinner. And maybe every other meal on every other day. She'd stay in this room with the warm fire chopping vegetables and baking bread until she was an old maid and everyone forgot who she was or what she looked like.

"So..." Geldis voice pulled her from her thoughts. "How many leeks are you planning to chop, exactly?"

Vanya stopped and looked down at the cutting board where she had diced enough leeks for three days. "Damn it. I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"It's alright. We can save the excess for tomorrow."

She gave a shuddering sigh in an attempt to ward off the tears that were threatening to come and turned away to check the bread in the oven.

"Vanya," Geldis said gently. "Perhaps you should..."

"I'm alright, Geldis," she forced out as steadily as she could.

* * *

Teldryn sat down at the table near the kitchen that he had recently started to prefer and moments later, to his disappointment, Niyya approached to take his order.

"Hey, hero. Your meal is on me today as thanks for what you did."

He looked up at her curiously. That was the second time today since Geldis had told him the same thing at breakfast. And Bralsa had stopped him in the market on his way back from sparring to tell him that she was buying him a few rounds of drinks later. He shrugged and ordered his usual meal.

"Ash-hopper, ash yam, bread, and sujamma."

"Coming right up."

"Hold on," he said before she could walk away. "Where is she?"

Niyya tilted her head toward the kitchen, "In there," she leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. "I think she's a little embarrassed about the whole thing."

He furrowed his brow. "What could she possibly have to be embarrassed about?"

"Probably has something to do with the things that Gjollmir said about..." She looked him up and down and raised her eyebrows. "...you know."

"That?" he scoffed. "Meaningless." The man had taunted Vanya to get a rise from him and it would have worked had he not already been looking to spill the nord's blood. It was not as if his drivel had any foundation.

"Maybe to  _you_ , but he said it in front of everyone. They were all staring," she replied with a grimace."And it doesn't really help with the rumor about you two."

"Rumor?"

Her eyes widened and she raised her hand to her mouth, "Oh shit, you didn't know.  _Shit_ , I wasn't supposed to say anything."

He raised an eyebrow. "It's too late now."

She looked as if she were fighting with herself internally for a moment before she relented. "Alright, there is this rumor that you two are...together. And Vanya didn't start it, but it seems to keep any suitors away- aside from the one, though you could hardly call him a suitor- but anyway, it seems to keep them away so she doesn't deny it."

He leaned back in his chair, contemplating. It made sense to him and was not particularly shocking, all things considered.

"You have to swear you didn't hear it from me," she urged. "You're not upset are you?"

"Upset?" he replied, amused by her state of distress. "Certainly not. It's only a rumor."

"Right," Niyya nodded, eyeing him skeptically as she left.

Truth be told, it would only bother him if it bothered Vanya. It seemed to him that she was using the rumor to her advantage, which he approved. Her use of the rumor, that is, not the rumor itself. Although he certainly did not  _disapprove_  of the rumor...

It was something that at this point did not merit thinking about. He was not prepared to complicate his life any more than it had to be.

* * *

She set the warm bread on the plate and handed it to Niyya, not looking at her.

"You sure you don't want to take this to him?"

Vanya nodded, busying herself with preparing another order. The very last thing she wanted to do was go out into the busy tavern and mostly likely bawl her eyes out.

"You should really talk to him. He asked about you. He seems pretty-"

"It's getting cold," she interrupted sternly. Niyya huffed and walked out of the kitchen and Vanya could only feel relief even though she'd probably pissed her off. She just wanted everyone to stop. Stop trying to make her feel better, stop trying to get her to talk about things she didn't want to talk about, stop looking at her like she was made of glass, ready to shatter at any moment.

_He must think I'm so pathetic._

* * *

It was late and Vanya sat on her bed flipping through a book of recipes that Geldis had picked up during the festival. They looked interesting but would probably be too expensive to make since the ingredients would have to be imported. Still, it might be fun to experiment.

"Hey."

Vanya looked up to see Bralsa walking toward her bed. She flopped herself across the foot of the bed, propped up on one arm.

"What's up?" the dunmer asked with a glimmer in her eye. She had taken a liking to the phrase ever since Vanya had said it and had to explain that it did not literally mean that she wanted to know what was on the ceiling.

Vanya closed the book and let it rest on her lap. "Oh, you know. Cooking, cleaning, breathing..."

"Avoiding real life," Bralsa finished and Vanya gave her a bemused look.

"This is my real life."

"Be a hermit if you want," Bralsa said carelessly as she rolled onto her chest, arms folded under her chin. "But I did come to tell you something you might like to know."

"Oh really?" Vanya asked doubtfully.

"I heard that Gjollmir is going back to Windhelm," Bralsa stated then raised her eyebrows. "With all his fingers broken."

Vanya stared at her friend, shocked by both revelations. "Really?"

"Yep," Bralsa replied while swinging her legs back and forth off the edge of the bed. "The  _rumor_  is he got so angry he was punching the cell walls until he broke them, but I have another theory."

"You think somebody broke his fingers?" Vanya whispered.

Bralsa smirked. "Not just somebody." She didn't have to say his name for Vanya to know she was talking about Teldryn.

"I don't know," Vanya hedged. "Gjollmir is pretty feral, he probably would do something like that to himself." She wasn't sure if she actually believed that, but she wasn't sure she believed that Teldryn would go to such lengths, either. She bit her lip as she mulled it over. He  _was_  really close with Captain Veleth...

"Like I said, it's just a theory," the dunmer said as she sat up. "But the important thing is, he's gone now and you can come out of your hole."

Vanya nodded, not bothering to tell Bralsa that she wasn't 'in her hole' just because she was afraid of Gjollmir bothering her again.

Bralsa yawned. "Well, goodnight. I just wanted to tell you that." She pushed herself off the bed to leave.

"Goodnight," Vanya replied absently.

Would Teldryn really go and break the man's fingers? She remembered the murderous look on his face as he pulled out his dagger and she knew the answer.  _Gjollmir certainly deserved it._ Despite her apprehension over the show of force, deep down- somewhere underneath her civility- she was pleased. But he should not have felt the need to do it. Why did he? Did he feel obligated? He knew better than anyone just how helpless she was.

She set the book in her lap on her nightstand and settled in under her blanket. She would live the rest of her life depending on the kindness of others and sometimes that kindness would likely take the form of terrifying violence. How was last night so different from the situation with Slitter? She was petrified of Slitter, yet Teldryn was capable of the same brutality and she didn't fear him at all. She hugged herself as she tried to reconcile the two sides of him in her mind but as she did so it became clear that there was not two sides to him at all. Bloodshed came as naturally to him as his sharp humor. It was a given that anyone she met had probably maimed or killed another in the course of their life.

She buried her face in her pillow to muffle her crying. She didn't want to get used to it, she didn't want to be a part of it. She wanted to go home.


	27. Midnight Tea

He ought to know better than to play dice with Modyn when he was in a foul mood. It was very late by the time Teldryn made it back to the Netch, lighter in his pockets courtesy of the captain and some of his ranking officers. In the grand scheme, he hadn't lost that much, but it still rankled. He had not had his wits about him as he was distracted by the fact that a certain outworlder was very good at not being seen when she didn't want to be.

He had not seen her for two whole days. It bothered him. It bothered him that it was bothering him so much. She was hiding and he suspected it was due to more than embarrassment, though he did not know what it was. At least he knew she was safe, and that knowledge kept him from sending for her or trying to pry information from Niyya or Geldis.

He curled his lip as he crossed the tavern toward the hallway, knowing his only option. He would have to wait her out. He stopped when he heard a rustling sound behind the bar.

"Argh, where is it."

He knew that voice. He made his way toward the bar and peeked stealthily over the edge, a smile breaking across his face as he saw Vanya crouched behind the bar rummaging through the shelves. She hadn't noticed him so he leaned on the counter with one hand and waited.  _Perhaps Nocturnal has not cursed me after all._

"Of all the places...Geldis, why would you think this goes here..." she muttered as she stood up with a tea kettle in her hands. "JEEZ- us, Mary, and Joseph!" She startled so violently she had to clutch the kettle to her chest to keep from dropping it. "Teldryn! Don't sneak up on me like that," she scolded as she caught her breath.

He chuckled silently to himself. "I didn't sneak. I think you just didn't want to be seen."

She furrowed her brow and eyed him warily. "Why would you say that?" She didn't wait for his reply and turned to enter the kitchen. Teldryn shook his head and followed her, leaning on the archway.

"Perhaps because you have not left this kitchen for two days?"

She was using a ladle to scoop water into the kettle from a bucket. "I've left the kitchen plenty of times." She looked over her shoulder at him. "A girl has to visit the privy at some point."

He scoffed, "Knowing you, you would have a chamber pot hidden somewhere."

A sudden laugh escaped from her and she stopped filling the kettle, putting her hand over her mouth. She tilted her head back and moved her hand over her stomach, still laughing.

"Why is that so funny?"

"Oh, I have story I need to tell you." she sighed, still giggling to herself. "Do you want some tea?"

He shook his head in amusement as he agreed. "Sure."

She nodded and scooped another ladle of water into the kettle, then hung it over the unlit hearth. She piled kindling into the hearth before picking up a flint from the mantle.

He approached, channeling fire in his hand. "Here, I'll do it." She stepped back and gave him room to reach down and light the kindling.

"Thanks," she said softly before turning away to pull a few canisters down from a shelf. "You don't usually have tea. What kind do you like? Trama, Canis, Elves Ear?"

"Trama is fine."

"Good. That's what I was planning to make. Though I would give  _anything_  to have some Earl Grey." She looked up at him with a small smile that did not reach her eyes. "It was my favorite."

She blinked a few times and immediately busied herself with measuring out tea leaves. "This should only take a few minutes, why don't you go sit? I'll be out shortly."

"Alright."

* * *

"Hey," she stopped him just as he walked under the archway. "Do you want a comberry tart? I'm having a sweetroll, but I know you don't care for those."

He considered for a moment, then shrugged. "Sure." He left the kitchen and she fetched small plates, placing the pastries on them then setting the plates on the platform above the fire to warm them. She'd offered him a sweetroll during the festival and he'd declined, saying he didn't like overly sweet foods. Comberry was quite bitter and the sugar in the pastry really only served to neutralize that so she thought he might prefer that. She was pleased he had accepted.

She pondered over the last few minutes as she poured the steaming water over the tea leaves. How had he done that? She'd been so tense thinking about what she might say to him when she finally got brave enough, yet he had simply waltzed into the kitchen and she'd felt far more at ease than she expected. She burned with guilt at how she had behaved, avoiding him and not giving so much as a thank you and yet here he was being sweet as ever.

Was sweet the right word? She wasn't sure how she would describe him. Intense was more accurate. Whether he was denying her offer to repay him, defending her in a bar fight or lighting the kindling of the hearth as she watched the sudden flicker of the flames reflecting in the deep red of his eyes...  _Whew, it's hot._  Vanya tugged on the collar of her shirt to let in some air. Between the hearth, the hot tea, and the warmed pastries she was starting to sweat a little.

With everything prepared on a tray she picked it up and took a quick steadying breath before turning to head out to the tavern. He was sitting at the usual table nearest the kitchen, with a long leg propped up on another chair he'd set out in front of him. His profile was lit softly by the dimmed lanterns as his head rested against the wall. He turned and straightened up as she approached, the corner of his mouth curling up.

"Here you are," she said benevolently as she set the tea and pastry, along with a napkin, in front of him. She set her portion on the table and returned the tray to the bar before sitting down with a satisfied huff. As he took a sip of the tea she warned, "It might be on the strong side. I do that when Geldis is not around since his tea is no more than troubled water."

He smiled with an approving hum. "I might ask for tea more often if it were made like this."

"Perhaps it could be arranged," she replied as she brought her own cup to her lips. He raised an eyebrow then pulled his plate closer.

"And you even warmed this," he said in surprise.

"I did." She smiled as she pulled off a piece of her sweetroll and popped it in her mouth.

"You spoil me."

Her smile faltered as she swallowed, watching him as he broke off the edge of the pastry with his fingers. "It's the least I can do," she said quietly.

His red eyes snapped to her face, brow furrowing with disapproval. "Vanya..."

"Thank you," she interrupted. "For stopping him. And I'm sorry."

He sighed as his expression softened, nodding lightly. Then he stopped, narrowing his eyes. "Why are you apologizing?"

She leaned back in her chair and kneaded her hands in her lap for a few moments under his gaze. Finally, she forced the words from her mouth.

"That you had to get involved in the first place, I guess. You got hit, and then got in trouble with the guards and I know you're friends with Modyn, I'm sure that complicated things for you."

He blinked in confusion. "I'm failing to see how any of that was your doing. I chose to get involved, as you can see my lip is perfectly healed, and I just came back from getting my ass handed to me gambling with Modyn so he probably likes me more than ever. I see no problems here," he reached for his tea and paused before taking a sip, mumbling, "aside from the gold I lost."

Did he really just refuse her point for point? She leaned over the table on her elbows. "We can at least agree that I owe you an apology for not even saying thank you."

"Except you just did."

"After two days!"

"Why are you so insistent on apologizing to me? I did what needed to be done," he said with a shrug, as if nearly taking a life was like taking out the trash.

"You almost killed him!"

He tilted his head and looked as if he would speak but hesitated. Finally, he said slowly, "Would that have displeased you?"

Vanya dropped her head into her hands in defeat, muttering, "Oh my god." They really were operating on completely different wavelengths.

* * *

For the first time, it occurred to him that she might have been upset with  _him_. But then, why would she be apologizing? She had well and truly lost him in this conversation. He studied her as she shook her head in her hands, muttering under her breath. There was something he was missing. Something she wasn't saying.

"Vanya, why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

She lowered her hands enough that she could meet his eyes, then after a moment shifted in her seat so she was leaning against the wall, no longer facing him. She scratched the edge of the table with her fingernail for a while before finally speaking.

"I'm scared," she said, barely a whisper.

"Of me?" His stomach tightened as her eyes slid to him and for a horrible moment he thought it might be true.

She shook her head, looking back to her nails that were still worrying a grain line of the table.

Relief. He released a breath and waited for her to continue.

"What I'm scared of..." she squinted her eyes as she searched for the right words. "I'm scared of why you have to be the way you are. The way you are around me, I would consider you 'Good'. But the life you live, that you have to live. The blood, the fighting, the...the..." She seemed to be struggling to put her thoughts together. "...the violence. It's not normal for me."

"Look, I'm not so naive to think that violence didn't exist in my world, but it was...separated from me. Our communities were safe. There weren't Reavers camping on roads or ash-spawn or draugr. When people owed money they didn't get the piss beat out of them to get it back and it certainly wasn't commonplace for people to fight to the death at the drop of a hat." She glanced at him briefly before continuing, "It's just...sometimes I feel good, like I'm fitting in. I'm adjusting. And sometimes everything I do reminds me of something I lost. My life was easy, Teldryn."

She motioned toward the plate beside her. "I heated this up over the fire, I used to use a microwave. I wash linens in a bucket, I used to have a washing machine. I want to take a hot shower. I haven't felt  _clean_  for months. I want a pizza. I want to waste my evenings watching trash tv. I  _don't_  want to worry about carrying a dagger and whether I might have to stab someone with it someday. I miss my life. I miss..." She stopped short, taking a breath.

"Your family," he finished for her.

She put her hand over her mouth and his heart ached at the sorrow in her unfocused eyes. If her pain could be a physical manifestation he would strike it down in an instant, but this was something he could do nothing about or even understand. He was a child of Blacklight, born after the horrors of Red Mountain. Of course, he knew loss, but not like this. The home he grew up in still stood, his mother probably sitting in her favorite chair meditating as they spoke. As the silence drew on, he wished desperately that he knew what to say.

"Can we not talk about this anymore?" she said, her voice strained.

"Of course."

"Thank you."

"Besides," he said as he leaned over the table trying to catch her eye. "I didn't understand half of what you said anyway."

Despite the tears in her eyes, she laughed. "That's just a little Earthling speak for you."

"Earthling," he repeated with a smile. He liked it. He had wondered up to this point why she kept her origin secret but it was now clear to him how painful it was to think about and if the curiosity he felt was any indication, should it be common knowledge she'd be able to think of nothing else under the barrage of questions. She was protecting herself and far be it from him to undermine that in any way.

After a few moments of silence, he changed the subject. "So what's that story you needed to tell me?"

She laughed again and finally sat up to face him, pulling apart the remains of her sweetroll. "So, the first night I spent here, Drovas brought me a bucket of water..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any lore-fiends feel compelled to point out that Teldryn claims to have met St. Jiub in-game and thus indicates his birth precedes the Red Year, I say...MEH! I like the idea of a younger Teldryn. So it shall be!


	28. Muthsera

"Ow!" Vanya hissed irritably as the razor nicked her ankle. Again. She dabbed the wound with a rag soaked in healing potion, watching with interest as it closed up neatly without a trace. There were definitely things in this world she appreciated.

She was sitting on a blanket that she had spread on the floor between her bed and the wall with her pants rolled up just above her knees. She had hoped to shave at least up to her knees but at this rate, she'd be lucky if she made it halfway up her calf before she ran out of healing potion. She picked up her razor with a deep breath and focused.

She'd get as far as she could.

* * *

The fabric of her pants rubbing against her bare calves felt alien as she walked across the tavern and she couldn't help her smug smile at her accomplishment. She'd nearly made it to her knees but got spooked when the razor bit a little too deep and she'd had to resort to drinking some of the potion to fully close the cut. Still, she counted the morning a success.

She was bringing lunch to a group of builders that were on break from erecting Captain Veleth's new house- he was having it built seeing as his impending departure from bachelorhood required a new living arrangement- and it had not escaped her notice that in the days since she had returned to working the floor that the men who frequented the inn were taking great care to keep their distance. Most had been perfectly friendly before, but now they hardly looked at her and leaned away from her when she walked by as if so much as brushing her would burn them. It would seem many shared in Bralsa's speculation on the cause of Gjollmir's broken fingers.

The men at the table predictably recoiled as she set their plates in front of them. It was getting a little irritating to be honest, she didn't have a goddamn plague. She put her a hand on her hip and motioned toward the plates. "What's the matter? Is it not to your liking?"

A chorus of mumbling issued forth around the table.

"It's fine."

"Looks good."

"Perfect, even."

One of them glanced warily around the room.

Vanya rolled her eyes and left with a huff.  _Teldryn is not even in the tavern, for goodness sake._

She was carrying some dirty plates across the room when she rounded an archway and nearly collided with a couple of miners. One of them jumped as if he'd been stricken, running into his companion behind him. "Sorry, Vanya. I didn't mean nothin'. I didn't see you," he said hastily.

Vanya only glared at them, took a breath and stalked toward the kitchen. She dropped the dishes into the wash bucket and started scrubbing a plate vigorously. When she had tossed the plate into the rinse bucket Geldis came up beside her and pulled it out, drying it while humming a tune to himself. She continued washing, and he continued rinsing and drying.

"It's not like I'm not grateful, I am," Vanya said. Geldis stopped humming and glanced her direction but said nothing. "But have you seen the way everyone is avoiding me? And Teldryn does not help when he sits in the corner with his stupid helmet and scarf trying to look menacing when I know underneath he's smiling as he watches the other men squirm. You've noticed that right?"

She looked at Geldis and he hummed in the affirmative. She continued, "It makes my job a little more difficult when people won't even look at me, and not to mention he's scaring off  _your_  customers." She used the plate in her hand to point at him before handing it over.

He took the plate, saying earnestly, "You have a point."

"I know. I think I'm going to have to just talk to him about it. I mean, it's not that he doesn't have a right to be proud of himself. What he did was...it was..."  _Amazing? Terrifying? Exciting?_  She reddened slightly as Geldis' raise an eyebrow so she quickly continued, "I don't know, but I don't exactly appreciate this unspoken threat that he's gonna chop off someone's hand for so much as brushing against me. It's a little extreme, don't you think?"

She could also add that the groups of women that made eyes at Teldryn while shooting her calculating glances were not helping. They were pathetically desperate, in her opinion. She decided to keep that to herself.

"You're absolutely right," Geldis nodded as he rinsed the last plate.

She dried her hands on her apron and put them on her hips. "Well, thanks Geldis. I feel a lot better." She smiled at him as he shrugged.

"Glad to be of service," he said with a chuckle.

* * *

It was too easy.

All he had to do was leave his face covered and sit with his arms crossed and they'd all cast uneasy glances his direction, shying away from Vanya as she did her work. He hadn't planned on doing it, but after noticing the reactions when she had emerged from her self-imposed exile he wasn't about to pass up such an amusing opportunity. There were a few that glared at him, likely disapproving of his lack of honor in a bar fight and he simply could not care less for their opinion. They could certainly challenge him if they liked.

He sat himself down at his usual table to continue his fun, scanning the tavern. Vanya had just left a table with three miners and when one of them glanced his way, her eyes followed and she did not look pleased. She was walking over rather purposefully.  _Hmmmm._

She stopped directly in front of him, arms crossed, looking down her nose in a way that reminded him of his mother after that one time he had set her scribs free in the courtyard to practice shooting fireballs. "Enjoying yourself?" she asked tartly.

He feigned innocence, "Should I not be?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Do you think I don't know what you're doing?"

"I'm just sitting here."

The corners of her mouth twitched and she leaned down toward him. "Well, you need to stop it. I think you've driven the point home by now, don't you?"

He clamped his lips shut to stifle the laugh that was trying to escape as she glared at him, her nose flaring in irritation. He got control of himself and replied with exaggerated deference, "Yes, muthsera."

She drew herself up, arms still crossed and the slightest blush rising in her cheeks. "Good," she said imperiously. She was leaning her weight to one side in a way that enhanced the curve of her hip and- fully aware of his hypocrisy and not the least bit sorry- he raked his eyes over her form.

"I suppose you're hungry," she said and he let out an involuntary cough that he covered with a chuckle.

"Indeed."

"The usual?"

"That's fine."

She nodded and corner of her mouth curved up. "I'll be right back." As she walked away she turned around. "Hey," she said as she continued her steps backward. "Take your helmet off so I can see your face." She smiled and turned back around, disappearing into the kitchen.

He breathed out through pursed lips as he pulled his helmet off, scratching his head to distract his senses. "Fuck," he muttered. He had to be careful around her, she disarmed him so thoroughly. He could not deny that he wanted her but it was imperative that he deny himself in acting on the physical reactions she so easily raised. It would only serve to complicate things. He didn't want things to be complicated. He reached for the pocket that housed his pipe as an annoying thought needled his mind.

_Things are already getting complicated._


	29. Just Practice

"It's a really nice morning," Vanya said as she lifted a water bucket in each hand, feeling quite proud of the strength she was gaining. The air was clearer, the wind carrying the ash further to the east.

Niyya lifted one bucket with both hands with a huff. "Lucky you have off and get to enjoy it."

Just as the pair approached the Netch, the door opened and Teldryn strode out with his full armor on. He held the door for them as he greeted, "Ladies."

As Niyya walked through the door Vanya followed, squinting her eyes at his helmet as she passed. "If you were a real gentleman you'd offer to carry these for us."

She could hear the smile in his reply, "You look like you have it well in hand." He let the door shut and she turned toward the stairway with a grin.

"You should go watch him. Have you seen him spar?" Niyya asked as they went down the steps.

Vanya shook her head.

"Me and Glover go sometimes."

"Is it really such a show?"

"Oh yes, one of the finest captains of the Redoran guard and the sellsword who traveled with the Dragonborn? You could hardly find a better match for an arena."

She'd never really considered them that way. Even Roggir, who people spoke of as if he were a god, was just someone she knew. One of the first good people she had met.

After she finished helping bring the water in, Vanya sat on her bed thinking over what she was going to do with her morning. She had been planning on going out to the beach and leafing through an alchemy book she'd borrowed from Milore but now she wondered if perhaps she should go watch Teldryn spar. Going to watch a fight was not something she had really thought about. It was just practice. Wouldn't that be boring?

After mulling it over she decided she would go. Why not?

Suddenly she felt a little nervous. She opened the drawer to her nightstand, pushing aside her discarded dagger as she rummaged for her mirror. She held it up checking to make sure her hair was not too wild while her subconscious mind scolded her for the way she was teetering on the edge of the line she knew she should not cross. She didn't mean to, she didn't want to give him the wrong impression. She lifted her chin in defiance at her reflection.  _There's nothing harmful about wanting to look presentable._  She replaced her mirror and pulled out the soft, dark blue shawl that she'd gotten from the khajiit caravan- just in case the wind decided to change direction- and headed out toward the training yard.

* * *

It was not as crowded as she expected, although there was a good number of people for so early in the morning. She could hear the sounds of swords clashing as she approached the railing and a few off duty guards shifted to make room when they noticed her.

It took a few seconds for her eyes to catch up with the two figures dancing around the training yard. They were so fast! Ducking, slashing, spinning; her eyes were round as she tried to keep up with their movements. Her heart fluttered when she realized they were using real swords. They could really get hurt!

She gasped when, with a wrench of his sword, Teldryn managed to disarm Modyn then began pressing him with strikes that the captain deflected with his bracers. When Teldryn made a jab for the midsection, Modyn pinned the sword to his side grasping Teldryn's forearm. He barely had time to raise his free hand to catch Teldryn's incoming dagger-  _when had he drawn that?_ \- before redirecting the momentum of the swing and with a cry of exertion, pushed Teldryn so that he stumbled. Teldryn did not go all the way down, catching himself on his knees and one hand, losing grip on his dagger. Before he could twist back up with his sword Modyn leaped on him bringing him down onto his chest with a grunt, and with a knee dug into his back and the captain's dagger pointed at his neck he let his sword clatter to the ground. Vanya loosened her white-knuckled grip on the fence railing. Modyn let Teldryn up, clapping him on the back and he responded with a good-natured shove to the shoulder. She couldn't hear what they were saying but they nearly looked like brothers as they obviously joked with one another.

"They're two and two," said the guard to her right, his eyes shining with enthusiasm. "Winner is best of five."

"I have my money on the captain," said the guard to her left.

The one on her right scoffed, "I hope you're ready to pay up."

Just then, she noticed Dreyla leaning on the railing of another part of the fence, around the corner. She left the guards to their betting and made her way to her friend. Dreyla noticed her approach and waved her over, grabbing her arm and pulling her close. "Isn't he great?" she gushed, looking at Modyn with a sigh.

Vanya gave a wan smile. "Yeah that was...really something."

"Oh, but Teldryn is very good, too," Dreyla assured. "But Modyn is stronger  _and_  more experienced." She was leaning on the railing again with a rather desirous look on her face. Vanya shook her head in amusement. The dunmer added, "Modyn is sixty years his senior, did you know that?"

Vanya raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I did not know that." She had thought they were closer in age, though she supposed sixty years was not so far apart when one could live for hundreds.

"They are about to start again," Dreyla said eagerly.

Vanya leaned against the railing and watched as the two men squared off and took up their fighting stances. Teldryn performed a flashy twirl of his sword and she heard the sounds of giggling nearby. She looked up at the stairs behind her and saw some women sitting on them, whispering to each other as they looked at the men. She barely had time to register her resentment when the clashing of swords caused her to whip her head back around. She was drawn in once again at their fluid and savage movements, though as the battle wore on she couldn't help but noticed the squeaks and coos of the other women. It was darkening her mood.

_What are you so mad about? He's free to pursue anyone he likes._

Was that really true? She thought about the rumors about her and Teldryn that she had certainly done nothing to dispel. If he knew about it he had not mentioned anything. She didn't want to make him look like a scoundrel if he wanted to get to know other women and they were under the impression he was already involved with her. She felt a little bad for using him and her stomach churned as she realized she would have to clear it up before it got messy.

The train of thought dropped from her mind when the two men's swords locked, Modyn bearing down his sword with both hands on Teldryn. She could hear Teldryn groan, his feet sliding back under the relentless pressure. In one quick movement, Teldryn threw his sword to one side letting it go as he dove the other way, rolling away from Modyn's wicked back-swing. He gained his feet with his dagger drawn and parried a slash before bringing up his free hand that emitted a blue light. The light spread out like an umbrella to form a sort of shield that he used to blocked Modyn's sword. Again and again, Teldryn deflected hits as he danced around the yard and Vanya noticed he was inching closer to his discarded sword. With a mighty cry, Modyn shattered the blue shield and Teldryn dove again, this time regaining his sword as he rolled to his feet.

The two men circled, Modyn stalking like a predator and Teldryn low and wary. The atmosphere was tense and Dreyla clutched Vanya's arm. As the battle resumed the tension only heightened, Modyn's aggressive strength against Teldryn's deft movements. Vanya grasped Dreyla's hand on her arm as Modyn knocked Teldryn's sword arm wide in a way that left him open for a vicious backhand to the face. As he recovered, Modyn spun with a finishing move that might have taken off Teldryn's head only he leaned backward under the swing while at the same time bringing his blade up to the captain's now unguarded neck. They froze. Vanya let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and both she and Dreyla relaxed their grip on each other.

Modyn lowered his still outstretched sword arm and Teldryn tilted his head, then turned his sword and whacked the captain's helmet with the flat of his blade. Modyn responded in kind, the flat of his own blade connecting with Teldryn's shoulder as he tried to twist away and Vanya could hear them both laughing.

Vanya leaned on the railing with a huff, looking at Dreyla who was laughing as well. "I don't know if I can take this."

"Why? It's all in good fun."

"It really looks like they could hurt each other. Don't you worry?"

"Not really, you saw the way Teldryn stopped his blade. They aren't just swinging wildly. It's what they do."

Vanya looked back at the two men who were talking with each other rather animatedly, probably going over details of their battle.

"They look to be finished," Dreyla said. "I'm going to go talk to Modyn. You want to come with?"

"No, you go ahead."

Dreyla headed off in the direction of the gate further down the fence and Vanya watched her as she trotted out to Modyn. He pulled off his helmet and leaned down as she lifted herself to her toes for a quick kiss. They were so sweet. Her eyes slid to Teldryn and even with his helmet still on she could tell he was looking right at her. She smiled at him and hoped her cheeks were not reddening too much as he started walking her way.

* * *

He had not even known she was watching. It had been a hard-won match so it pleased him greatly that she had seen it. She was leaning on the fence as he approached and he pulled off his helmet, knowing that if he didn't she would demand it first thing. He smiled and leaned on the railing with one arm, facing her.

"What do you think?" he asked with an easy confidence that masked the fact that he truly wanted to know.

"You guys are really good. It was kind of scary," she said as she wrung her fingers together. "So fast. I'm exhausted from just watching."

"Scary," he scoffed. "You should come watch more often. You would do well to get used to it."

"I know," she drawled before perking up. "Hey, what was that blue shield thing? That was really cool."

The ward? That's not a frost spell, it's..." he stopped when she started laughing.

"I don't mean cool as in actually cold, um...I mean it's impressive."

 _Ah, more Earthling speak._ He grinned. "I see, well it's a fairly basic spell. It is just as you said, a shield." He channeled his ward to show her and her eyes widened as the shimmering blue light spread out.

She straightened up and put her hand out. "Can I touch it?"

"Yes," he replied, watching the glow that reflected in her eyes.

She reached over the fence and put her hand against the ward, pushing lightly. "Whoa, that's insane."

Suddenly, he got an idea. He dropped the ward and she pulled her hand back. "Come," he said, motioning her to join him in the training yard.

"Oh." She looked uncertainly toward the gate.

"No, just come over the fence. It's not that high."

"Okay, okay," she said hastily as she started to climb over. He held her arm as she hopped down, letting go once she gained her footing.

"This way." He started across the yard toward the weapon stand.

"What are we doing?" she asked as she caught up with him.

"I'm going to give you a waster so you can hit my ward."

"A waster?"

"Wooden sword."

"What? Teldryn, no." she said, though she still kept up.

"It will be good for you."

"You mean it will be amusing for you."

"Why not both?" He looked at her with a smirk and she rolled her eyes.

When they reached the weapon stand, he tossed his helmet to the side and looked over the wasters for the lightest one. "Here, take this." He held it out to her and she stood there with her hands on her hips and a willful expression.

"I'm not here for your entertainment."

He could not help his smile. "You can hit me as hard as you want, come on. I think you'll like it."

At that, she reached out her hand and grasped the sword, though still hesitant.

"Alright." He charged up his ward and it spread out between them. "Strike."

She shook her head before hefting the sword up with both hands, despite it being a one-handed weapon, and swung it in a wide arc that hit far weaker than it looked like it would. The only good thing was the way she grimaced at the effort. He dropped the ward and she stepped back with an uneasy look.

"Your form is terrible," he said as he took off his gauntlets and tossed them next to his helmet. This definitely needed to be rectified.

She scoffed, "Well no shit, Teldryn. This is the first time I've ever done this."

He ignored her and reached for her dominant hand and started to position her fingers around the hilt. "First off, this is a one-handed sword."

"It's too heavy."

"You will need to get stronger, then." When he was satisfied with the grip he stepped back. "Don't hold your wrist too rigidly. You don't want to break it." He stepped forward again and turned her shoulders. "This foot forward, spread your feet a little. Relax your knees. That's good." He stepped back once more. "Alright, do it again," he channeled the ward in his hand. "This time when you strike use your body and not just your arm." The ward once again spread out between them.

She took a breath and pursed her lips, muttering, "Okay, mister bossy-pants." Then with another endearing grimace, she slashed against the ward. It was still weak, definitely sloppy, but a step in the right direction. He dropped the ward with a grin.

"Better."

"Yeah?" She looked up at him hopefully.

"Yeah," he repeated. "Now, let's try a backswing. Did you notice how your momentum was thrown forward after your cross?"

"I guess so."

"Ready yourself once more, I'll show you what to do."


	30. Magic Touch

Vanya whimpered as she rolled over in her bed. Her arms were sore, her back was sore, her stomach was sore, her  _entire_  body was sore. Teldryn had turned the previous morning into an impromptu training session and had made her practice hitting his ward for over an hour. Forward cross, back cross, forward cross, back cross. Then she'd had to switch hands as he insisted she know how to do it from both sides.

She might have protested more but she had never seen him so enthusiastic about anything, so she'd gone along with it. It had been really gratifying to see him pleased with her progress and it helped that he hadn't made her feel stupid or laughed at her, even after her horrible first try. It had actually been pretty fun.

She sat up with a groan then flopped back down. Had it been fun enough to endure this? A sly smile crept across her mouth as she thought about how close he stood and his hands on her shoulders as he corrected her form. Gentle and deliberate, his touch had not unsettled her or made her feel awkward. She chewed the inside of her lip.

Perhaps it was a fair trade.

* * *

Vanya placed his breakfast in front of him with exaggerated effort, then fell into the chair across from him. The corner of his mouth curled up and he gave her a knowing look.

"I'm  _so_  sore," she whined, adding a feigned cry.

Teldryn picked up his fork and dug into the kwama egg, doing his best to ignore the feeling the sound she made provoked. "I'd be surprised if you weren't."

Fool that he was. If he was trying to keep his indecent thoughts suppressed, spending an hour touching her and watching her work up a sweat had not helped in the least. It had, in fact, resulted in a very restless night.

"Good thing I'm going to Milore's this afternoon," she said. "Will a healing potion help?"

"It will, but you know what's better?"

She thought for a moment, then her face lit up. "Magic?"

"No," he drawled and pointed his fork at her. "More training."

Evidently, he planned on torturing himself.

At that, she rolled her eyes and stood up. "No. I'm not doing that today. Milore is teaching me how to grind ingredients for potions and I'm already behind because I was supposed to be reading a book she gave me yesterday." She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. " _Somebody_  took up my whole morning."

He was disappointed at her refusal but shrugged indifferently. "You won't get stronger if you don't keep at it."

She lowered her shoulders, gazing at him thoughtfully. "Tomorrow morning. If I'm feeling better."

"Good," he said before taking a bite of his bread, smirking as he chewed.

* * *

Vanya winced in pain as she reached across the table for another stalk of saltrice. She used a dull knife to scrape the seeds from the stalk, depositing them in her mortar, then added the stalk to the bundle she'd already scraped. 'Seeds for health, stalks for stamina,' Milore had said. Vanya was very glad that the first potion she was going to learn was for healing, seeing as she expected it to be needing a lot of it in the near future if she were to continue training with Teldryn. She had never played sports growing up so this level of soreness was not familiar to her. She'd had a gym membership only to work out enough to maintain her health and- she could admit- her vanity. Her level of fitness being entirely up to her, she had certainly never pushed herself.

"What now?" she asked Milore, who was at the other end of the table hovering over a bubbling glass jar that had a narrow neck which angled sharply down over her tiny cauldron.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, now use your pestle to crush the seeds," she said without looking up. "Not too much, they need not be powder." She used a fingertip to bolster the flame underneath the jar ever so slightly. Vanya's gaze drifted to the pile of seeds in the mortar and she picked up the pestle, feeling wholly inadequate. She pressed the pestle into the seeds, frowning as it did nothing more than push them around.

"No, no, my dear," Milore reproached as she glanced at Vanya's hesitant movements. "Short and quick, short and quick." She rolled her wrist in the air to demonstrate the action she desired. "Did you read the book I gave you?"

Vanya's face heated up. "Ah, about that..." she said nervously as she mimicked Milore's movements.  _Hey, that's working better._  "I sorta got roped into sword training with Teldryn."

"Ahhh, no wonder you're grimacing every time you move," she said, sounding amused. She was incredibly observant for how distracted she always seemed.

Milore killed the fire under the jar with a wave of her hand and walked over to Vanya with a smile. "Come, I'll help you." She put her hands on Vanya's arms and the golden glow of magical healing flowed into her, she sighed and her shoulders sagged in relief, the effects something like falling into bed after a long day.

"Thank you," Vanya breathed as Milore pulled her hands away.

"You may still feel some fatigue but at least the pain will be gone," the dunmer said and Vanya moved her limbs, confirming what she'd said.

"Would a stamina potion help with that?"

Milore laughed. "Temporarily, but you would have to continually drink some to stave off  _any_  hint of discomfort."

Vanya pursed her lips and shrugged. "I suppose that would be too expensive. I guess I can handle it."

"Glad to hear it. Now back to it," she commanded as she motioned toward the mortar the returned to the end of the table, reigniting the flame to continue her own work.

* * *

Vanya scowled in disgust as she poured the contents of the cauldron into the waste bucket, using her fingers to help the thick liquid along. It had all been going so well but her inability to manage the flame had resulted in the ash-hopper jelly over-boiling, leaving her with a gloppy mess. This meant that the saltrice seeds did not simmer long enough to imbue their effects and over-all the potion was a complete failure. She sighed in frustration as she dunked the cauldron in a wash bucket.

"Don't be discouraged, Vanya. You can't expect perfection on the first try," Milore said as she lit incense to cover the unpleasant odor. "Even Direnni had to start somewhere."

"Pfft, I would have been happy to just have produced something usable," she grumbled, scrubbing scalded ash-hopper jelly. Whoever Direnni was, they probably could use magic.

"Tomorrow we can use the stalks for a stamina potion, hmm?" she said with an encouraging grin.

"Can we do it on Fredas? I'll be with Teldryn tomorrow morning."

"Oh?" The inflection in her response made Vanya perk up.

"Training," she replied quickly. "Just...more training."

"Mmhmm," the dunmer hummed skeptically while she parsed out ingredients for her next brew.

Vanya pressed her lips together in irritation. It was high time she started correcting the assumptions people were making before things got out of hand and she ended up embarrassing herself and Teldryn. More than she already had, that is.

"Milore, I don't know what you've heard, but me and Teldryn aren't..." She realized she didn't know what term would be appropriate, doubting that 'dating' was a common expression. "We're just friends."

"I haven't heard anything, my dear. I'm not privy to the gossip circles. But I do have two eyes..." she trailed off, still not looking up from her ingredients. "I've always thought him a nice young mer. And so handsome."

Vanya opened her mouth and closed it again, unable to think of a reply. She was saved by the sound of Garyn walking through the door. He stopped short and knit his brow, his eyes sliding to her and then to his wife as he obviously detected the odd smell.

"I burnt my potion," Vanya said apologetically.

"Did you have to do it inside?" he groused as he moved to a basin of water to wash his hands.

"Oh, Garyn," Milore admonished. "Be thankful we didn't use charred skeever hide."

"Hah, if you had I'd have known well before entering the house."

"See? It could have been worse."

Vanya set down the cauldron and backed toward the door as the two bickered.

"Yes," he said flicking water from his hands and snatching the towel hanging from the side of the basin. "Instead of my house smelling of Dagon's arsehole, it only smells of Boethiah's cu-"

"Garyn Ienth!"

She was out the door, quite sure that neither mer noticed as she could still hear Milore shrilly scolding her husband as she walked away, stifling a laugh.


	31. Just Friends

Teldryn walked up the path from the south shore, the unique fatigue that resulted from depleted magicka grating at his senses. He was trying to learn a particularly taxing Destruction spell from a book a courier had delivered from Roggir and the seclusion of the beach had always made an excellent practice ground. If he was understanding the tome correctly, he'd be able to essentially become a walking firestorm. A very alluring prospect. Unfortunately, it seemed he lacked an adequate magicka pool to properly cast it. Perhaps if he had some kind of enchanted item that would increase his pool, or better yet, give him rapid enough regeneration to withstand the initial charge...or both! How much would such an item cost? And where could he get it?

His thoughts trailed off when he noticed a tiny plume of smoke rising from the other side of the large rock he was passing. He walked around the rock and smiled broadly when he saw a particularly perplexing and charming sight. Vanya was sitting with her legs crossed leaning over a very small fire, pushing the ash on the beach into a little wall around it.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped and looked over her shoulder, giving a shy smile as she looked back at her project. "Just building sandcastles," she said lightly as she pinched the little ash wall to make it taller. "Or I suppose ash-castles."

He settled himself down beside her and squinted at the tiny fire, trying to figure it out before he asked again. "And what are you  _really_  doing?"

"Well," she sighed. "I burnt my potion today because I couldn't control the fire under the cauldron. No magic and all. So I thought..." She started pushing the ashes closer around the edges of the flame. "Since I usually toss ashes on the hearth to put it out, maybe it would work to weaken the flame if I just...crowded it ever so slightly." Her face was pinched in concentration as she carefully carried out her experiment. Her eyes widened and she smiled when the flame diminished. "It worked!"

She looked at him happily and he smiled in return despite her troubling statement.

"So you really can do no magic at all?" he asked.

"Oh, I really don't know. It simply didn't exist on Earth," she said with a shrug. "Now to try and push the ashes away..." She poked her finger lightly at the ashes, trying to roll them away from the flame but instead, the opposite happened and the flame sputtered out. "Shit! I need some kind of tool to do this. I'm too afraid of burning myself. I should have brought a spoon or something."

He thought for a few moments, looking around to see if there was anything nearby to use. Or perhaps something he had on him...

"A lockpick might work."

"A lockpick?"

"Yes. I probably have one in one of my pockets." He opened a pocket on his belt where he knew he'd stashed some, unsure as to whether he'd used them all while traveling with Roggir. "Ah, here's one. See?" He held it out to her. "You could use the handle as a sort of spade."

"Ooh," she purred as she plucked it from his hand. "Yes, this is  _perfect._ "

Her words made him feel like he'd given her a lavish gift. It was just a worthless little lockpick. He'd give her a hundred more if she would continue to speak that way.

She busied herself with resetting the kindling, then instead of picking up her flint she gestured to him, demanding, "Light."

He snorted with laughter as he reached out his hand to do her bidding, despite his fatigue. "Yes, 'miss bossy-pants'."

"I'm sure you'll get back at me tomorrow," she said with a smirk, flicking him an impish look before tending the fire.

He raised a brow at her. "I certainly will now."

* * *

Vanya focused on the fire, using the lockpick to push the ashes closer, trying her best to ignore the sudden rush of her blood at the intent in his voice. She really should not have had him light the fire but she couldn't resist. He had such long, elegant fingers. With the fire successfully waning she started to push the ashes away, the lockpick proving to be just what she needed. She leaned down to blow lightly on the flame, bringing its strength back.

"Well," she said happily as she straightened back up. "Problem solved."

"You're welcome," Teldryn said smugly, shifting toward the water so he could stretch his legs out and lean back on his elbows.

"Thank  _you_ ," she said pointedly.

She watched as he sighed while looking out over the sea and she felt a little guilty for flirting with him. She really shouldn't encourage something that she had no intentions of following through on. She wanted badly to be his friend but she worried that he might get the wrong idea, especially if he knew the things that she had allowed to be said about them. She drew circles in the sand with the lockpick as she built up the courage to clear the air.

"Teldryn, I have a bit of a confession."

"Is that so? And what would that be?" She was thankful that he kept his eyes pointed toward the water, she knew she would chicken out if he looked at her.

"There's sort of this rumor? About us?" She cringed at the nervous inflection she was adding to each phrase. "That we're, like, y'know...involved...more than friends? And I sorta didn't deny it because it helped keep other men from pursuing me but I know it was wrong to use you like that and I'm really sorry." The words fell out quickly and she glanced at him. "I hope you're not too mad?"

He certainly did not look mad, his expression was more amused than anything as he turned his eyes toward her. He raised his brow. "Is that it?"

She blinked at him. "You already knew."

He nodded.

She put her hands over her face as she felt a flush in her cheeks. "I'm not sure if that's better or worse!"

"Vanya," he said with a chuckle. "Obviously I don't care. It's a rumor, a lie. It doesn't mean anything."

She kept her hands on her face, shaking her head. She felt so foolish. He knew the whole time, she must seem so desperate. She peeked through her fingers and saw he was sitting up again, facing her with a confused look. Moving her hands to her cheeks, she studied him for a moment "How can you not care that I lied about you?" If someone had done that to her she would have been horrified.

He shrugged. "To begin with, I could not care less what people say about me. In fact, sometimes I've found rumors to work in my favor. And there is quite a difference between spreading a lie and simply not correcting a lie, which is what you did. Finally," he said, his expression sobering. "You had a very good reason. Pity that it was not more effective."

She dropped her hands and began fiddling with the lockpick once again as she considered all that he said. That was definitely not how she'd been raised. A lie was a lie, right? But then, what had she been doing this whole time? She'd been only lying about herself though, not someone else. She looked at him, sitting there completely unconcerned. If he didn't care, then should she?

He furrowed his brow and she realized she was staring. She dropped her head, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead.

"It's really not so serious, Vanya," he said with a laugh. "And it's not as if I find it disagreeable."

_Uh-oh_

"Not that I want it to be true," he said quickly as she turned her head to look at him. "I mean, it's not that I'm saying you're not..that I don't find you...no, no..." He clamped his lips together with an almost pained expression. She tried to not show her growing amusement, not wanting to embarrass him further. She never thought she'd see him trip over his words with how composed he always seemed.

He brushed his hand across his forehead a couple of times in apparent frustration then held his palm out toward her, eyes downcast. "Allow me to start again. The rumor is nothing to me and I seek no more than your friendship."

"I feel the same," she replied. She should have been more relieved, this is what she wanted. When he finally brought his eyes up to meet hers she saw a shadow in them that seemed to reflect her own feelings.  _Or he's still embarrassed about this whole awkward conversation you started._

That was more likely.

"Well," she said as she put the fire out. "I'm glad to have that cleared up. I should probably be getting back to work." She stood up, brushing ash off her pants and he followed suit.

"Imagine that, I'm headed that way as well," he said with a smirk, then tilted his head thoughtfully. "And I'm getting hungry."

She rolled her eyes as she headed back to the Netch. "You're always hungry."

"Why do you think I make such an effort to befriend the cook?" he said as he fell in beside her.

She gasped, looking up at him in feigned outrage. "So that's what I am to you?" She raised an imperious finger to his nose. "You're getting the smallest ash yam I can find for supper."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clear as mud, right?


	32. Conflicted Hearts

It wasn't a lie. Not totally. That's what made him so uneasy. He had never cared what the women he got involved with really thought of him, in fact, it was better they thought he was shallow and single-minded in his pursuits. Because he usually was. Was it different now because he had changed or because of her?

Teldryn stopped sharpening his dagger and glanced toward the subject of his thoughts as she struggled with her exercises. To build strength, he'd directed her to perform basic motions in repetition. Currently, she was drawing a two-handed waster up and down in vertical arcs.

"How long do I have to do this again?" Vanya asked, her voice strained.

"Until you can't." He watched a couple more repetitions then returned his attention to his dagger.

He cared what  _she_  thought of him, he wanted to know her opinions, he wanted to know  _her_. When he'd told her he sought her friendship he'd been truthful. Thankfully, that goal had not been threatened by him sputtering like an adolescent. He'd been up half the night cringing at his own stupidity.

She stopped, the tip of the sword kicking up dust as her arms sagged. "I can't."

"So dramatic." He smirked as pushed away from the stone wall of the Bulwark, sheathing his dagger as he approached her. She narrowed her eyes at him but he cut her off before she could retort. "Now lift the sword and point it straight out." She obeyed, her expression changing to one of determination. "Make short cuts in alternating directions," he said as he demonstrated in the air.

She grimaced, whining, "This is even harder."

He smiled as he circled around her, observing her form. "Straighten your shoulders, and lean to the side slightly with each cut. Remember to use your body."

She nodded and did as he said, exhaling a long breath through pursed lips. He headed back toward the wall, scratching his head to distract himself from the way her chest heaved as she panted slightly from the exertion.

He wanted her. He wanted her more than any woman he'd ever met, which meant he was hesitant to try because inevitably they always wanted more from him than he was willing to give and he'd push them away. He could not do that to her and neither did he want her to feel that he expected anything. He just wanted to be around her. He found that he looked forward to seeing her every day and it troubled him. Made him feel heavy.  _Complicated._

* * *

Her arms and shoulders burned as she concentrated on the exercise. The back of her throat felt dry from breathing so hard and she grew frustrated at how quickly she tired.  _Why am I doing this again?_  Why was she here sweating like a pig instead of laying on the beach with her nose in an alchemy book? Teldryn approached again and gently caught one of her wrists mid-stroke.

"Focus on keeping the sword straight," he said as he turned it slightly in her hands. "Always lead with the edge." He grinned slightly as his hand went back to her wrist and he looked at it in appraisal. "And perhaps it will build muscle on these tiny little bones of yours." He looked far too pleased with his lame joke so she let the sword sag to the side in the hopes of it landing against his head but he caught it deftly, pushing it back up as he raised an eyebrow. "Not wise."

"I can't help it," she said pitifully, her words laced with sarcasm. "I'm just  _so_  weak."

"Agreed," he said lightly, stepping back from the sword's reach. "Carry on."

She continued with a huff, the burning in her muscles keeping her from thinking of anything smart to say. "I hope you know I'm fully expecting you to heal me tomorrow," she managed after a few moments.

He hummed disapprovingly. "You want to avoid too much of that or you'll end up stiff as a board."

She tipped her head back, groaning in frustration. "Are you serious?" she glanced sidelong at him, really hoping he was just messing with her.

"Yes," he replied with a laugh. "It's necessary to let your muscles heal on their own to keep limber. Some things can't be rushed."

She dropped her arms, the tip of the sword bouncing against the ground. "I wish I could just use magic instead of learning to fight. I'm never going to be strong enough."

"It would be good for you to try magic," he nodded. "Regardless you should still know how to wield a blade. Many times the two work in tandem. And you  _will_  be strong enough. What you lack in strength you can make up with speed and wit."

His words did little to encourage her since the end goal was still to  _stab_  someone. She hadn't been referencing only physical strength. If she could just learn something defensive she'd feel much better. Perhaps if she could learn that first...

"Can you teach me to use magic?" she asked, taking a step toward him.

He shrugged. "I can try."

She tilted her head, looking up at him from the corners of her eyes with a hopeful smile. "Right now?"

His eyes roamed her face, red irises darkening for a fleeting moment in a way that spurred a flutter in her chest. He smiled as his expression changed to one of amusement.

"Nice try, but no." He raised a finger in her direction as he backed away. "See, there's that wit."

Her face fell and she pursed her lips into a disappointed pout. Then she registered the compliment he'd just paid and felt herself flush. Eager to change the subject she raised her chin haughtily. "Well, seeing as I'm already going to be sore I suppose we'd better continue. What's next?"

He looked positively smug as he tossed her a one-handed waster, barely giving her time to drop the larger sword to catch it.

She glared at him as he charged his ward, saying, "Why don't we see how well you remember what you've learned."

She raised the sword in her right hand and spread her feet into the stance he'd shown her, "I remember."

His smile widened as the ward bloomed between them and she wasted no time in her attack.

* * *

"What a peculiar technique," Milore said with a curious expression as Vanya pushed ashes around the fire under the cauldron. "Quite inventive of you, my dear. Wherever did you get a lockpick?"

"Uh...Teldryn gave it to me," she replied sheepishly, remembering how the last conversation about him had gone.

Milore tutted as she seated herself and picked up her mortar, tossing a few barnacles in. "I should have known."

Vanya purse her lips and shook her head as she dipped a spoon into the cauldron to pull out the pieces of scrib jerky that she'd boiled until they were nearly dissolved, placing them in a bowl. "It's like I said, Milore, we're just friends."

"I don't doubt it," the dunmer replied lightly, the barnacles emitting a satisfying crunch as she pulverized them.

Vanya tried not to roll her eyes and decided to let it go, knowing the more she argued about it the more it would solidify Milore's opinion. She picked up her bowl of crushed saltrice stalks and asked, "How much of this should I add?"

"At least a palm full, though it's not a precise amount for such a basic potion. Your biggest concern is to not reduce the scrib too much and it looks like that won't be a problem. In a very short time, I think you'll have yourself a fine stamina potion."

Vanya swelled with excitement as she grabbed a fistful of the saltrice, then dropped it into the steaming broth watching as the pieces swirled around in the simmering currents. She checked the flame, making sure it had not gained strength, then set her eyes on the brew once more. She wanted to see the change where the magical effects combined.

She watched with rapt attention, hardly registering the harsh tapping as Milore emptied the mortar into a larger container. Slowly, the brew began to take on the slightest green tint. "It's turning green! It's turning green!" she cried, unable to stop herself from bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Milore got up to take a look. "So it is, and what a lovely shade. Now, stop..." she put her hands out to catch Vanya's vibrating shoulders. "And fetch the fluted jug and the cheesecloth."

* * *

A little while later, Vanya was sitting on her bed looking at a glass bottle filled with, in her humble opinion, the prettiest green liquid she'd ever seen. She almost didn't want to drink it but since she was again incredibly sore from training, her desire for a little bit of relief outweighed her desire to preserve her very first potion.

"Hey!" Niyya said brightly as she entered their room carrying a bundle of clothing.

"Hey," Vanya responded, rolling the bottle between her palms. She watched as Niyya stuffed the soiled clothes into a basket to await washing, wondering to herself when the redguard would finally move into Glover's house. She spent all her time there as it was, it was only a matter of time.

"What's that for?" Niyya asked when she saw the bottle in Vanya's hands.

"Oh," she lifted the bottle and waved it a little. "It's a stamina potion that I made."

"Oooh," Niyya approached, eyes wide. "It looks great, Vanya. I've never had the patience for potion-making."

"Thanks, it's not so different from cooking. Except when things go terribly wrong." Vanya smiled, biting the inside of her cheek a bit as she remembered poor Garyn's face.

Niyya grimaced. "Cooking is far more forgiving."

Vanya stood, wincing a little. "Well, I've learned this just in time. I'm going to need a ton of it to keep up with training." She uncorked the bottle and took a sip, the liquid having a rather nondescript planty flavor. A tremor of relief spread over her muscles, reminding her of the feeling when she popped her back or her knuckles. The effect would not last long but long enough to allow her to stretch without too much discomfort. She replaced the cork and tossed the bottle on the bed as she bent over to touch her toes

"How's that going anyway?  _Training_?" Niyya emphasized the last word in a way that made her meaning very clear.

Vanya straightened back up and pulled her arm over her head, leaning to the side to stretch her back. "That's all it is," she said plainly.

Niyya crossed her arms, thoroughly unconvinced. "I don't understand you. It's obvious you like each other. What's the problem?"

She reversed her position to stretch the other side. "No problem. We like each other because we're  _friends_."

"That's positively precious," Niyya snarked. "You seriously expect me to believe you don't want more than that?"

Vanya huffed as she straightened up. "Niyya, can we drop this, please? Teldryn and I are friends and that's how I want it. End of story."

"Fine. But you're playing with fire," the redguard warned as she left the room.

Vanya rolled her eyes and continued stretching, annoyed that Niyya was completely right.  _Why does she have to be so nosy anyway?_  Vanya knew what she was doing was dangerous but she couldn't help it. It wasn't like she sought him out, not to mention all her other friends had recently found themselves wholly preoccupied. Bralsa had been promoted so she was spending more time at the mine, Niyya was always with Glover, and Dreyla was utterly immersed in wedding preparation and house planning. Lately, Teldryn was the only one who had time for her. What else was she to do?

She finished her stretches and shook out her arms, rolling her neck.

As for wanting more than friendship, that was complicated. She found him devastatingly attractive, of course, but she wasn't sure how much she could give in a relationship anymore. Teldryn deserved someone who had a whole heart, someone who could keep up with his life.  _Someone who is not so used._

She pressed her hands to her forehead, curling her fingers into her hair a little too tightly. She stood there, letting the tingling on her scalp distract her, telling herself the prickling at the back of her eyes was from the discomfort and the stamina potion wearing off. She sniffed and ran her fingers through her hair, raising her chin as she headed out toward the kitchen.


	33. Dirty Tricks

"Eyes on me," he said as he parried, then brought his waster down in a slow cross for her to parry. They were circling slowly, alternating cross swings and parries. She had progressed well over their last few sessions and today he was going to break her bad habit of watching the swords. And wincing every time they connected.

They continued in the circle, her eyes slowly drifting back to the swords. As she parried he reached out with his other hand and nudged her shoulder firmly to throw her off balance. She stepped back and her eyes snapped to him, her expression indignant.

"The sword is not your opponent, I am," he instructed.

She blinked a few times in irritation and sighed. "It's really hard to remember everything at once."

"Don't think so much. Just go through the motions and keep your eyes on me. I won't do anything to surprise you."

She raised her eyebrows and he added with a smirk, "Unless you look away."

She readied herself to start again, the corner of her mouth curling up. "If I didn't know better I might think you just like my attention."

"Would you focus better if I told that I do?" he replied as he swung at her. Her eyes widened and cheeks flushed, but to her credit she still managed to parry.

* * *

 _Well, that backfired,_ Vanya thought as she crossed, keeping her eyes on his face, trying to will away the blush she knew was evident on her own. She focused on controlling her breathing and the wild beating of her heart, the clack of the wasters barely registering as they circled. The routine went on for a few more rounds and he started to speed up. She was tempted to look to the swords, the speed making her uneasy but she hung on to his assurance that he would not surprise her. Her arm and shoulders began to burn and she pushed through it, fixated on crimson eyes behind which the clouds began to blur. Cross, parry, cross, parry, cross, parry. Suddenly he switched the direction of his swing and she quickly twisted her arm to parry the other way, immediately halting with a glare as he grinned.

"I thought you weren't going to surprise me?" she hissed.

He raised his brow at her, still smiling. "Did I?"

The realization of what he'd done dawned on her and she raised her finger in his face. "You...you..." She tried to be angry but a smile crept across her lips instead. She'd read his body language without even thinking about it. She paced away and then turned, pointing the sword at him, laughing, "You don't play fair."

He opened his arms arrogantly. "It's why I'm still alive."

She sauntered toward him with a cheeky grin, the tip of the sword dragging on the ground.  _Turnabout is fair play._  He lowered his arms and looked down his nose at her as she stood in front of him.

"Are we finished for today,  _Sensei_?" she asked sweetly.

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Depends. Is that an insult?"

She pushed the handle of the waster to his chest. When he put his hand over it she drew hers away and looked up at him through her lashes. "It means 'Master'."

He showed no reaction except a deep bobbing of his adam's apple as he swallowed and she knew she'd succeeded. She quelled the urge to mock his speechlessness and quickly brushed past him toward the gate. She didn't dare look back, already feeling embarrassed as she gained distance.  _What came over me just now?_

Once she got out of the training yard she picked up her pace, laughing and scolding herself at the same time for her reckless behavior. She might have just ruined any chance for future lessons but wiping that smug grin off his face had been worth it.

* * *

 _Hot._  His entire body tingled, very aware of the cloth against his skin and the weight of his armor. He might actually catch fire if he stood there any longer so he dropped the swords and made his way to the barracks to douse himself with a bucket of water. He'd forced himself to stand still when she was in front of him because any movement he would have made would have involved ruthlessly tearing her clothes from her body. He groaned painfully at the thought as he burst through the door, making a beeline for the washroom.

* * *

Teldryn left the barracks, relieved but not at all satisfied. He may never tease Vanya again. She didn't even have to try to spark his desire, but when she turned on the charm he was rendered a witless savage. He wasn't sure what her full intentions were with her actions but he knew himself. He could not act on his lust for her, no matter how crippling it was. It would ruin everything.

As he neared the market he looked at the doors of the Netch and decided against going inside just yet. He turned instead toward Glover's forge.

He dragged a chair out from under the awning toward the wall facing the market and sat down, reaching for his pipe to begin preparing it.

"Good day, Teldryn. Make yourself at home," the blacksmith chuckled as he looked up from his workbench.

Teldryn grunted as he lit the pipe, taking a long draw. Glover went back to his work and Teldryn blew smoke through his teeth as he listened to the even droning sound of the man's hammer against metal.

What was happening to him? The intensity of his need for her weighed on him like an anchor. It was physical, oh yes, but it went beyond. Even now, after her  _cruel_  teasing, he knew he would suffer being near her just to see her smile. "It's fucking madness," he muttered sullenly.

A sudden gust of wind whipped a dusting of ash over his face. As he pulled the tip of the pipe from his mouth and used his cowl to wipe the grit from his lips and eyes, he swore to himself that someday he'd leave this gods-damned ash pit for good. He certainly had the means, it was a wonder he hadn't done it already.

When he opened his eyes, Niyya was passing by in front of him with a sly look. "Hey Teldryn," she greeted before approaching Glover to plant a kiss on his cheek. The blacksmith paused his work and grabbed her chin to return the kiss on her lips. Much more of that and Teldryn was going to find a new place to smoke.

"So..." Niyya said, turning to him with an arched brow. "Training went well this morning? I kept catching Vanya grinning to herself and she wouldn't tell me why."

Teldryn lifted his eyes to her, squinting in disbelief at her insufferable prying. To keep himself from saying something rude to her in front of Glover he shoved the tip of his pipe in his mouth, inhaling deeply.

Smoke was rising from his mouth between them by the time she realized she was not going to get a response and she rolled her eyes. "Fine. I  _really_  don't understand you two," she groused, stamping a foot as she turned away.

"Leave him alone, honey bee," Glover said tenderly.

Teldryn dumped the tobacco and got to his feet having endured  _quite_  enough. He stashed his pipe and stalked in the direction of the south shore.  _When did this place become so suffocating?_

He placed his helmet on his head and pulled up his cowl as he left the market, magicka pooling in his fingers. He was going to find something to  _burn._

"Oh! Teldryn, dear!"

He stopped and closed his eyes. Had it been anyone but Milore he would have soundly ignored them. He turned around to see the small woman approaching him and he tried not to scowl even though she could not see his face.

"I hoped I'd see you today," she said. "Are you heading toward the Iggnir any time soon?"

Suddenly, he was very glad she'd stopped him. "Needing more Netch jelly?"

"Indeed. And anything else you might come across while you're out," she replied, reaching out to give his elbow a squeeze. "You always do such a good job."

The small gesture and the promise of a distraction calmed him considerably and he looked down at her fondly, bowing his head. "My pleasure, sera."

* * *

It was growing late in the lunch hour and Vanya could not help but notice she had not received a familiar order to prepare. When Geldis walked into the kitchen to toss a few dirty plates in the wash bucket she considered asking him if Teldryn was in the tavern, but she quickly squashed the desire. It was silly to be so concerned when she'd just seen him a couple of hours prior. She had never known him to miss a meal so he must have just ordered something different today. Another thing she had never known him to do.

A little later when lunch orders had tapered off, she ventured out to the bar and bit her lip when she saw that his table was empty.  _He must be in his room or out in the market smoking..._

She was pretty sure he would not have gone to the south shore to practice his magic. He did not normally do that on sparring days. She drummed her fingers on the counter, an uneasy feeling settling over her. It could not be a coincidence that he was nowhere to be seen after the way she'd teased him this morning. Had she overdone it?

Geldis appeared from the hallway, jutting his thumb over his shoulder as he crossed the room. "Three, eight, and eleven need linens changed. I'll start dishes," he said as he paused to collect a few empty plates from an abandoned table.

She nodded and went to the storeroom to retrieve clean linens, then headed for room three. As she passed Teldryn's room she had to suppress the urge to knock on the door. If he was in there, she had no good reason to be knocking so it would not help things. She huffed and made quick work of the three rooms, tossing the soiled linens out into the hallway as she did each one. By the time she came back through to gather them up, any good humor she'd had was thoroughly soured. She stopped again in front of his door, glaring at it as if it were him standing in front of her.

If that stupid man was in there avoiding her because he could dish it out but couldn't take it then he deserved whatever discomfort he was in. She stalked away with a glower. When she reached the storeroom she tossed the linens roughly into the dirty basket and came back out to help Geldis with the dishes. She plunged her hands into the rinse bucket and started pulling out plates, stacking them on the counter.

With how often Teldryn teased her, she was nearly in a state of constant blushing. She teased him one time and suddenly things were weird? No, she was not going to play that game.

"Vanya, perhaps try to keep some of the water in the bucket?" Geldis said, pulling her from her thoughts. She looked down and realized how much she'd been splashing.

"Gods," she sighed. "You're right. I'm making a mess." She grabbed a towel and tossed it on the floor to sop up some of the water and went back to rinsing, more attentively this time.

Perhaps she really had overdone it. Her movements slowed as she remembered their conversation on the beach a couple of weeks prior. He had said he only sought friendship, what if she'd freaked him out? She had only been playing this morning, she thought in the same manner that he was. This was exactly what she had been afraid of. She'd given him the wrong impression.

The plate in her hand slipped back into the water. She didn't know what she would say to him, but suddenly she had an overwhelming urge to see him. She  _needed_  to make sure they were okay.

"Vanya?" Geldis said gently. "Are you alright?"

She turned wide eyes on him. "Have you seen Teldryn?"

"Not since he came through and picked up his pack, why?"

"His pack?" she squeaked, her stomach churning. "He left?"

Geldis started nodding and before he could utter a sound she cried, "Where did he go?" Every time Teldryn had left, he'd been gone for months. Had a new employer arrived and hired him away?

"I don't know," he replied as he scrutinized her. "But Vanya, he'll be back soon. He didn't turn in his key."

She put her hands on her cheeks, wincing when she felt her fingers were still wet. She grabbed a towel and dried them, then her face. Geldis  _must_  be right, Teldryn had to be returning soon. If not, he would have surely said goodbye. Right?

She took a deep breath, not fully understanding why tears were gathering in her eyes. She blinked in frustration, wiping her eyes with the towel as they spilled over.

"Oh dear..." Geldis muttered.

"S-sorry..." she said tremulously. "I...I..." She was trying to say she was alright but she couldn't push any words past the lump in her throat.

"No, no," Geldis interrupted her and rested his hands on her shoulders, giving a light squeeze. "Perhaps you should lie down, child. I can finish up here."

She frowned, wanting to protest. She was upset that Teldryn had left, of course, but the intensity of her reaction was nearly upsetting her more.

"Go on," Geldis ordered, giving her a nudge toward the sleeping quarter.

She gave in and simply nodded, shuffling away as more disconcerting tears clouded her vision. Her head was pounding by the time she fell into her bed and she clumsily reached for the drawer of her side table, blindly rifling for her stamina potion. Her fingers closed around the neck and she popped the cork then tipped the bottle to her mouth. It was empty.

With the final thread of her composure snapped, she threw the bottle down on the bed and shoved her face into her pillow to muffle her scream.


	34. Distractions

Teldryn hummed to himself as he tightened the rope around the rolled up netch hide, then tossed it into the makeshift sled he'd fashioned with the carapace. He'd been rather fortunate to find a Bull Netch roaming around by itself away from the herd near the inlet of the Iggnir river. It was always tricky to lure one away from the Betty that ruled these parts. She was a nasty piece of work.

Once he'd loaded the hide, he dropped his pack into the carapace as well, then gingerly picked up the harvested jelly glands to wrap them in a cloth, careful not to apply too much pressure. Through much trial and error over the years he'd learned that it was best to use bare hands as his gauntlets did not allow enough feeling and he'd end up expressing netch jelly all over them, which meant he'd have to deal with trying to clean them without paralyzing his fingers for a few hours. Then there was that one time he'd missed a spot and rubbed one of his eyes. That had been a strange and terrifying sensation he'd prefer to never relive.

With the glands secured into the carapace, he settled himself on a rock and fished into a pocket for some dried guar that the Redoran guards at Fort Frostmoth had given him the previous night. Now that Raven Rock seemed to be prospering, the leaders of House Redoran finally saw fit to supply the fort and had recently sent some pack guar to replenish the herd that had long died off. He pulled down his cowl so he could chew the end of the piece of meat that hung between his fingers, remembering how much he'd missed its rather satisfying stringy texture.

Despite his resentment for the way the  _Great_  House had left its citizens to rot, he had still agreed to escort one of the herders back to Raven Rock which the captain of the fort was greatly pleased about since it saved him resources. Of course, Teldryn had insisted he be allowed to utilize one of the guar for his own expedition in exchange. The beast was currently tied to a dead tree nearby munching happily on some scathecraw. Seeing as the trek back to the fort would be much quicker as he didn't have to drag the carapace himself, he had a little time to rest.

This had been exactly what he needed. He hadn't realized how much of a routine he'd fallen into over the past couple months until he was back out roaming the ash wastes, trawling the beach for clams to extract pearls, collecting spiky grass and creep cluster, and taking down the ash-spawn that were the reason  _he_  was the one collecting ingredients and not the intended user. He folded the remainder of the guar meat into his mouth and sighed, gazing across the river at the towering mushrooms of Tel Mithryn, overshadowed by the rising mountain peak dotted with a few trees that had managed to survive the constant onslaught of ash spewed from the larger mountain across the sea. He grinned as he imagined how wide Vanya's eyes would be taking in this view. He would bet that she hadn't seen anything like it on Earth. His smile faded as the familiar heavy feeling began to coil in his stomach. He shoved himself up to his feet as he replaced his cowl over his mouth then pulled on his gauntlets. He'd rested long enough.

He harnessed the carapace to the guar and led it back in the direction of the fort.

* * *

Vanya walked up the path toward the mine with a chilled flagon of Sujamma, smiling absently at the miners she passed by who were milling around or sitting at the various tables eating their lunches. She approached the large, four-story bunkhouse that reminded her very much of her college dorm keeping her eyes peeled for unkempt reddish-brown hair.

"Ah, so thoughtful," a raspy voice said from over her shoulder. She turned around to see Scouts-Many-Marshes giving what she had come to know as a grin, though she'd likely still mistake a grin for a grimace on an unfamiliar argonian. The feathers on his head were perked up a bit as he inclined his nose toward the flagon. "I was just thinking how thirsty I am."

"Hi, Scout," Vanya drawled as she looked up at him with a crooked smile. "You haven't seen Bralsa have you?"

"Aww, so that's not for me?" The scaled ridge of his brow raised as his feathers drooped, though she could see the end of his tail swaying happily as he toyed with her.

"Tell you what, if I can't find her you can have it."

"In that case, you'd better hand it over. I think she went back to Morrowind."

Vanya tutted. "Liar."

Scouts-Many-Marshes hissed a laugh and she rolled her eyes, "I can see you will be no help." Just then, she saw the stocky form and brown hair of the breton that had lately been glued to Bralsa at the hip.

"Rodane! Hey!" she called, waving at him. He looked around for the source of the voice and when he spotted her his face lit up into a dimpled smile and he jogged over, his pickaxe resting on his shoulder.

"Vanya, what's up?" he asked, then tipped his head in greeting to the argonian. "Feathers."

"Is Bralsa around?" she said as she raised the flagon.

"Ahh, her and Crescius went down yesterday to prospect and I've not seen her since. I expect she'll come back up tonight but," he shrugged. "You know how it is."

Vanya's shoulders sagged and she pouted. "Yeah."

"When I see her I'll tell her you were looking for her. How's that?"

She gave him a thin smile. "That'd be great." She turned to Scouts-Many-Marshes and held the flagon out to him. "Guess it's your lucky day, Feathers."

He gave her a toothy grin as he lifted it from her hands, a slight clicking sound emitting from his throat.

"See you, guys," she said as she turned away and headed back down the road to town.

She scuffed the bottom of her sandals on the dirt as she walked. She hadn't really figured out what she was going to talk with Bralsa about but she just really needed to see her friend. It had been a whole day since Teldryn had left without a word and she realized just how much time she'd been spending with him. She had really only seen Bralsa lately when she came in for a drink. With her visit spoiled she supposed she'd better get to Milore's, she still needed to replenish her stamina potion and it would be a welcome distraction.

* * *

Vanya stirred crushed saltrice stalks into the broth simmering in one of Milore's larger cauldrons. She had become proficient enough at health and stamina potions that Milore was now stocking what she made for sale. She'd been offered a commission but turned it down, feeling that the time and ingredients the dunmer was sacrificing to train her were payment enough. She watched the brew, tapping her lockpick against her lips while she waited for it to turn.

"I should be able to show you how to make a potion to restore magicka soon," Milore said as she tied a cluster of elves ear leaves together. "Teldryn usually brings me a good amount of pearls and creep cluster."

Vanya froze, the lockpick pressed against her lips. She spun on the balls of her feet to face Milore. "What did you say?"

The older woman hung the leaves in front of the hearth. "I  _said_  Teldryn usually brings me pearls and creep cluster." She glanced at Vanya curiously. "I sent him to fetch me some netch jelly yesterday. You didn't know?"

Vanya shook her head with a sigh, her shoulders sagging in relief. "No, he didn't tell me he was leaving."

"Ooooh," Milore said as she approached with a sympathetic look. "Perhaps he didn't realize he needed to."

"He doesn't need to," Vanya protested. "I just didn't know is all." She turned back to her potion which was swirling green. She prepared the fluted jug, tying the cheesecloth loosely around the top to strain the liquid.

She understood that he was a sellsword and would leave periodically, she'd just been thrown off by him simply vanishing. The first two times he'd left she'd seen him off, although that was more by chance than anything else. Teldryn was not required to let her know every time he wanted to go somewhere, she didn't own him.

Vanya finished straining the potion into the jug and lined up four bottles to begin filling them.

Milore was tying another bundle of elves ears together. "Men can be so inconsiderate. Take my dear husband, Garyn, for example," she raised her voice as she said his name, gaining his attention from where he was lounging on a chaise with his pipe on the far side of the room. Vanya stopped filling the bottles and looked at him blankly, then to Milore.

He furrowed his brow, smoke rising from his mouth as he groused, "And what did I do?"

"You know perfectly well what you did," she hissed as she hung the leaves and rounded on him with her hands on her hips. "Or you should after two hundred and twenty- four years."

"Woman, if I could read your mind don't you think I'd have done it by now? Speak plainly."

She marched to a shelf against the wall next to the chaise and pulled down a small pot then snatched the mortar on the side table that Garyn had dumped some ash from his pipe into. She overturned the ashes into the pot and set it down on the table, holding the now empty mortar up to his face. "How many times have I told you that you are not to use my mortars for your gods-damned tobacco?"

He glanced at the pot, then the shelf. "So  _that's_  where that went."

"Where it-" she sputtered. "That's where it  _goes_!"

"No, that's where it goes," he said, gesturing to its place on the table. "If you want me to use it." He sat up and pointed the tip of his pipe at her with a smirk. "Perhaps  _you_  are the one who has learned nothing in two hundred and twenty-four years."

Vanya covered her mouth to keep from laughing as Milore huffed and stalked away to toss the mortar into the wash bucket. She glanced at Garyn and he winked before resuming his lounging. She couldn't help a small giggle as she turned back to finish filling the bottles.

* * *

The following day, Vanya sat on a rock tossing the small shells she'd gathered into the lapping waves. She'd taken a walk along the beach to the south shore and back seeing as her morning was free since Teldryn had yet to return. She could have gone to the training yard and done exercises, she supposed, but she would feel out of place without him.

"Hey."

She looked over to see Bralsa hopping up onto the rock beside her. "Rodane said you were looking for me yesterday. What's up?"

"Eh, I was bored," Vanya shrugged. "Feeling a little weird, I guess."

"Sorry I missed you. It's wild how quickly things have exploded, isn't it? The past few months make it seem like last twenty years never happened."

Vanya chuckled mirthlessly at the uncanny truth of her statement. She threw another shell.

"No training this morning?"

"Nah, Teldryn is out working."

"He's certainly been working you," Bralsa said approvingly, giving Vanya's upper arm a squeeze. "You're looking  _good_."

Vanya scoffed as she tossed her last shell, then dusted her palms. "I'm still dreadful."

Bralsa shrugged as she watched the shell disappear into the foam. Vanya folded her knees to her chest, resting her chin in the cradle of her crossed arms. The plume rising from Red Mountain looked static but if she stared long enough she could see some churning movement. She lolled her head to the side to look at her best friend's profile. Her hair had grown enough that it grazed her brow as the breeze tousled it, the red of it reflecting intensely in the sunlight in striking contrast to the cool blue-gray of her skin.

"So...Rodane, hm?" Vanya prodded with a smirk, delighted to have something to tease  _her_  about for once.

The corner of Bralsa's mouth curled up, her eyes still on the water. "Yeah, I'll keep him around a while. He's fun."

"Just a while?"

"For me. It's a kind of curse having a soft spot for you humans," she said, a grin still on her lips as she met Vanya's eyes. "You don't live long enough."

Vanya's lids fluttered shut, a laugh bubbling up in her chest before finally escaping. She had  _really_  bad luck with teasing. She put her hands over her face. "That's so fucking morbid, oh my god." She threw herself back onto the rock laughing harder. "We're not  _dogs_!"

Bralsa snorted and cackled at her statement then leaned over on her elbow. "You know..." she said between wheezes. "I  _have_  been thinking I should get Rodane a collar."

"Shut up!" Vanya cried, her stomach beginning to ache. Bralsa pressed her face into Vanya's shoulder as they fell into hysterics.

 


	35. Backfire

Teldryn heaved the stack of chitin into the nearly overflowing carapace, situating it into the space he'd arranged for it then turned toward the tiny dunmer herder, Nathala, beckoning her to approach. Her arms were full of the wrapped netch jelly glands that he'd handed off to her while he loaded the carapace with the plate and meat he'd gathered from the group of ash-hopper that had just tried to ambush them. It would not do to crush the one ingredient he'd been sent to fetch. Her movements were stiff as she approached, her bright red eyes blazing with fury since he'd wait until she had the jelly in her arms to inform her what she was carrying. He smirked as he removed the glands from her arms, placing them carefully in a secure spot.

She huffed as she picked up her staff, flipping long black hair over her shoulder. "I'm not doing that again."

"We're quite close, I don't think you'll have to," he said as he picked up the lead to the guar pulling the carapace once more and continued. She tutted the other guar, tapping the lazy ones with the crook of her staff to get them moving. She was a very competent herder and had taken down two of the ash-hopper herself, her staff doubling as a weapon with the small enchanted welkynd stone that was affixed to an elegantly designed malachite setting near the base of the crook.

A short while later they rounded the rocks that designated the beginning of the cliffside that ran behind Raven Rock.

"So that's the Bulwark," Nathala breathed as its outline came into view. Teldryn made no reply to her observation, perplexed that the sight of it made him feel as if he'd swallowed an angry moth. "That means that we should be nearing the old imperial farm where I'm meant to settle my guar."

"Attius Farm?" Teldryn asked incredulously. "I think you may find it less than suitable."

"I wouldn't expect an  _imperial_  farm to be suited to guar," the young mer scoffed haughtily.

"That's not what I mean," he drawled. He should not have been surprised at how out of touch the Redoran Council was with the state of decay Raven Rock had fallen into, yet he found that he managed.

As they approached the dilapidated farmhouse he glanced back and pitied the girl as she gaped.

"But...I was told there'd be a place for me," she said quietly. "There is not even a fence, where will my guar stay? What will I do?"

"Those are not questions that I can answer." Though he sympathized greatly with her situation, he smiled. "I believe you will need to speak with the captain of the guard."

Modyn was going to be furious.

* * *

"Curse them to all the bloody realms of Oblivion," Modyn hissed as Nathala herded her guar up the temple steps and toward the gate of training yard. Teldryn followed him as he stomped up the stairs. "Lleril requested guar over a decade ago, did they not think to send a little notice?"

"Ah, actually..." the girl fished into a fold of her robe. "They sent me with this missive."

"You don't say," Modyn sneered as he snatched it from her hand. "And they sent a child, no less."

"I'll have you know I'm forty-three years old!  _And_  I'm a Falen, you won't find a better guar herder than I, you great- "

"Watch it," the captain warned.

Nathala huffed and corralled the final guar into the yard then closed the gate behind her. Teldryn had not stopped grinning under his cowl.

"And you," The captain rounded on him. "Wipe that smirk off your face. I can  _feel_  it."

Teldryn bit back a laugh and Modyn narrowed his eyes before closing them and sighing loudly. "Dreyla is going to have my hide. We're going to have to pull builders off the house to construct a farm for  _her._ " He slapped the back of his hand against the missive. "Not to mention my training yard already smells of guar dung, the priests are going to reopen the Oblivion gates-"

"Captain Veleth!"

Modyn clenched his teeth and grimaced before smoothing his face as he turned to greet Second Councilor Arano as he approached.

"Adril," he said evenly. No one would question either man's loyalty to the First Councilor, the intensity of which seemed to foster an ongoing rivalry between them.

Arano rocked on his feet, his hands behind his back as he eyed the guar. His eyes slid up to the captain. "Why are there guar in the training yard?"

"I believe you will find all your questions answered here," the captain answered calmly as he held out the missive. Teldryn admired his restraint.

"Ah," Arano's eyes lit up at the sight of the Redoran crest and he took the missive, returning his hand behind his back. He glanced briefly at Teldryn. "I shall take this to the First Councilor immediately and we will begin discussing a plan of action."

"As you wish."

"Right, carry on," the Second Councilor said with a curt nod, then spun on his heel to leave

Modyn turned to face the training yard with another sigh that ended in a growl.

"Well," Teldryn said cheerily as he slapped Modyn on the back. "Don't know about you but I have things to do."

"Fuck off."

* * *

"Surely you jest."

"It's the truth! You should have seen Captain Veleth's face.  _Livid_."

Vanya listened idly to the women at the table behind her as she filled a tray with dirty dishes. She had no idea what a guar was but apparently, there was now a herd of them in the training yard.

"And the herding girl is a tiny thing, hardly taller than the beasts! I must say, it was quite a sight seeing her walking next to Teldryn."

A cup went tumbling to the floor as her hand spasmed upon hearing his name and the girls stopped talking. She bent down to retrieve it and shoved the remaining dishes onto the tray, making a hasty retreat to the kitchen. She dumped the contents of the tray into the wash bucket and dropped the tray on the counter as she turned to lean her back against it.

He'd left without a word to gather netch jelly and had come back with a herd of beasts and a girl? Who was this girl, where had he found her, why had he brought her? She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead.  _Stop it,_  y _ou're being irrational._

When she brought her hand down and opened her eyes Niyya was standing in front of her with a plate in each hand, her expression impassive. "I'm not even going to ask," she said coolly. Vanya took the plates with a sigh as Niyya turned away to continue cooking.

She'd finally stonewalled enough that the redguard had given up and she hated the defeated look in her lavender eyes. Still, she kept her silence and turned to deliver the meals. As much as it hurt to allow the wedge to be driven between them, she would not entertain the subject that Niyya insisted on pressing. Just because she found Teldryn appealing did not mean that she was entitled to him in any way.

He was free to do as he pleased, go where he pleased, with  _whomever_  he pleased.

* * *

Teldryn trotted down the stairs of the Netch lightly, the sack of ash-hopper meat over his shoulder. Glover had paid well for the chitin and netch hide and Milore was greatly pleased with her ingredients, though it was a little unusual how she had hurried him along. She would normally have him unload the carapace but today she'd enlisted Garyn, shooing him away as if he had somewhere to be. It suited him fine as he was starved after days of dried guar and whatever it was that had passed for food at the fort.

He approached Geldis at the bar and hefted the sack onto the counter as he sat down, pulling off his helmet.

"Welcome back, Teldryn," Geldis greeted as he peeked into the sack. "Ah, ash-hopper. Very good." He pulled a key from his pocket and leaned down to the lockbox under the bar to begin counting out gold.

As Teldryn waited, Vanya appeared from behind an archway as she headed for the kitchen, empty plates in hand. His heart quickened upon seeing her but the way she faltered with a guarded look wiped the smile from his face, his brow furrowing in concern. Before he could say a word she turned away and went into the kitchen.  _What was that about?_

He narrowed his eyes in confusion and looked at the stack of coins that Geldis was sliding across the counter. "I assume you want something to eat? Your usual?" the barkeep asked.

He had forgotten he was hungry. "Yes," he replied absently.

Geldis nodded and picked a few coins off the top of the stack. "If I may," he said as he leaned on the counter. Teldryn met his eyes and was taken aback by the hardness in his gaze. "Now, I would never presume to tell you what to do, Teldryn, but the next time you go somewhere," he said as he straightened back up and slid the sack of ash-hopper off the counter. "Tell her you're leaving."

The realization washed over him like a bucket of ice water and he stared at the barkeep's back as he disappeared into the kitchen. He slapped his hand onto his face as he grimaced.  _Teldryn, you s'wit._

He had not even considered saying something, he'd been so wrapped up in his own head. Though he was not accountable to her regarding his whereabouts, with their training routine as of late she certainly deserved the courtesy of some notice. He'd vanished like a ghost and she knew not whether he'd be gone for hours or months. Her reaction and that look in Geldis' eye made it very clear that she had been upset.

He was consumed with regret for causing her distress and he dragged the hand on his face down to his chin as an uncomfortable truth made itself evident.

He needed to apologize.

* * *

Vanya looked over the prepared ash yams for the one with the fewest blemishes before picking one and setting it on his plate, a phrase her father had used when she'd been a willful teenager surfacing in her mind.  _I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed._

She wasn't going to scold him or guilt him for the way he'd taken off. It was how he lived his life and while she had hoped their friendship would warrant her the opportunity to say goodbye, what she'd said to Milore was the truth. He didn't  _need_  to tell her about his plans.

She ran her free hand over her hair and headed out to deliver Teldryn his meal.

He'd moved to his table and was sipping his drink as she approached. The corner of his mouth curled up but his eyes showed none of their usual amusement.

"So," she said as she set his plate in front of him. "Your expedition was a success? Milore told me you were fetching netch jelly?" She inwardly cringed at the sharpness in her voice. If she was trying not to guilt him, she wasn't doing a very good job.

He tilted his head as he scrutinized her. "Yes."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it," she said lightly as she turned to leave.

"Vanya."

She turned to face him, arms crossed.  _Maybe I am a little bit mad._

He pushed her chair out with his foot. "Sit down."

She drew herself up, bristling.  _Of all the arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate men!_  He had the nerve to leave her hanging then waltz back in and command her attention in the middle of her shift?

"You may not have noticed, Teldryn, but I'm a little  _busy_." She spun on her heel and stalked away to check on other tables. If he wanted to talk he could wait until she was available.

* * *

Somehow he'd just made it worse. He hardly tasted his meal as he ate, watching her work.

He certainly didn't want to make his apology in the middle of the tavern but he would if it meant removing the coldness in her voice as she addressed him. Except his attempt had failed rather spectacularly.

He downed his sujamma, gritting his teeth in frustration as he swallowed, then reached for his pipe. He had a feeling she was going to continue to act as if he didn't exist for the remainder of the evening so...

He lit the pipe and took a draw.

He would wait.

* * *

The tavern was nearly cleared out, only a few drinkers left in various places around the room. And Teldryn.

By this time of night, he would normally have retired to his room or sometimes gone to play dice with Modyn. Instead, he'd sat at his table the entire evening amusing himself smoking, sharpening his dagger, twirling said dagger in his hand, using the tip of the dagger to clean his fingernails, then -to her astonishment- removing one of his boots and digging rocks out of the tread. With his dagger. At least he had the good sense to spread a cloth out on the floor to catch the filth.

He was working on the second boot, his brow furrowed in concentration as he used his fingernails to pick out a rock he'd dislodged. The clasps of the boot he'd already worked on were still undone on his right foot, his left clad only in a tan sock. Despite her irritation, she could not deny that she was positively charmed. His empty plate was still on the table so she decided perhaps she should finally collect it.

He sighed dramatically as she approached, not looking up. "And here I thought I'd become invisible." He dusted ash away from the spot he'd been working on and dug the tip of the dagger under another rock.

"Funny," she replied with a smirk. "I nearly thought the same thing."

"Damn," he said emphatically, pausing his work. He looked up at her with a lopsided grin. "Have mercy."

Her stomach fluttered and she picked up his empty plate. He gestured toward the room with the dagger. "Are you done here? There is something I want to show you."

"At this hour?" she asked, suspecting it had something to do with the guar in the training yard.

He shrugged. "Yeah."

She was tired but she felt that he did not wait for her all night just to show her a herd of animals. "Alright, I'll have to help wash." She waved the dirty plate. "But I'll try to be quick."

He nodded and lifted the boot in his hand to indicate he was well occupied.

"I'll be out soon." She turned toward the kitchen. Then, because she couldn't resist, she said over her shoulder, "Don't go anywhere."


	36. Choke

Teldryn nodded at a guard who was leaning on a lantern post as they walked by on their way to the training yard. Vanya walked so near to him in the dark that he felt the occasional brush of the blue shawl that was draped over her shoulders.

"Poor Modyn," she said as they ascended the temple steps. "He has enough to deal with as it is."

"He can handle it," Teldryn replied. "That is if he can keep the Second Councilor from talking the issue to Oblivion."

"That's government for you. Some things don't change between worlds," she said drily before stopping short when she saw the mass of creatures in the training yard, shrouded by the shadows cast from the few lamps dotting the stone wall of the Bulwark.

"What are they?" she breathed, her steps tentative. He realized she couldn't see them clearly so he channeled a magelight in his hand.

Her eyes shifted to his palm and widened further. "Whoa." She brought a hand up and swatted at the light, her fingers passing through it. "That feels so weird." She hovered her fingers in the ball of light, twisting them around. "It's not warm like I expected, I just feel..." She squinted as she searched for the right word. "...pressure?"

He made no reply, watching her fingers as they danced tantalizingly close to his own. He backed away as he swept his hand to the side, sending the light out into the midst of the herd and her eyes followed it.

* * *

Vanya approached the fence railing as the mesmerizing light floated through the yard, the moving reflection revealing what looked like a rolling sea of scales. She smiled. "They're not insects."

Teldryn chuckled as he leaned on his elbows on the railing next to her. "No, they're not. They're pack animals. And for meat."

They were quite large, perhaps reaching her shoulder in height. They had strong hind legs that ended with three-toed feet sporting wickedly long talons, their thick tails just long enough to dust the ground. Their small, wide-set eyes were dull even in the light as they inclined their rounded heads emitting low chattering purrs of curiosity as it hovered above them. One of them hopped and snapped at it and Vanya snickered when she saw their impotent little arms. "They look like stubby T-Rexs."

"T-Rexs," Teldryn parroted and she smiled wider at the way he drew out the sound as he evaluated the word. "Some Earth animal?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Umm, yeah kind of." She pressed a finger to her mouth as she tried to think of the best way to describe them. "They existed before my time but imagine a guar with a longer neck," she gestured with her hands as she spoke, "lots of big sharp teeth, and as tall as the Bulwark."

"Sounds like a wingless dragon."

"Hmmm..." She made a face as she considered. She didn't actually know what dragons on Nirn were like but she assumed it was a safe bet they would look as she expected. "Maybe? They're more serpentine, aren't they?"

He hummed affirmatively and gazed up at the Bulwark. "So a T-Rex is like a predatory dragon-sized guar," he concluded.

"Sounds about right."

"And you said they were before your time?" He looked back at her. "What happened to them?"

"Ahhhh..." She couldn't help but be amused at the fact that this was the most they'd ever talked about Earth and they were talking about  _dinosuars_. "Well, when I say 'before my time' I'm talking thousands if not millions of years, depending on who you talk to." He raised his brows as she continued, "And as for how they disappeared, that's really anyone's guess. Some say it was a meteor, some say it was a worldwide flood."

* * *

"A  _worldwide_  flood?"

He was fascinated. If he could he would step into her mind to see the world that lived in her memories, with its strange creatures and cataclysmic events that rivaled those of his own. And that was just the ancient history, what wonders existed in her time? Beyond microwaves, pizza, and trash tv?

He knew better than to pry but she'd given him the opening and he would not waste the opportunity to glean what he could, for he knew it would be fleeting.

Just as she opened her mouth to answer, as if prompted by his own thoughts, her attention was drawn away as a guar ventured near the fence. She gasped, clasping her fingers around the top of the railing.

"It's coming over," she said in hushed excitement. "Are they tame enough to pet?"

He nodded as she glanced up at him, trying to not show on his face that he was imagining turning the beast to jerky. She reached out, her hand lingering in the air as the guar tilted its head to look in their direction.

"They don't see well," he said as he shifted closer, tutting at the guar to draw it to her. The guar lowered it's head, taking a few steps but staying timidly out of her reach. She stepped up onto the lowest fence railing to reach further and when her fingers brushed the beast's jutting chin, it flinched away.

Teldryn grunted in frustration as he reached his longer arm over the fence. "He's being like this because it's dark." He tutted once more, adding under his breath, "C'mon, you little bastard." The corner of his mouth curled up when he heard her light laugh.

Once the guar finally nuzzled into his palm, he found a soft spot under it's scaled jaw causing it to purr and come closer. Her fingers brushed along its cheek, her gaze impossibly tender as the beast chattered softly under her touch.

A sort of madness came over him and he was seized with the urge to grab her hand, to bring those eyes upon himself, tell her he'd never again leave her wondering. He had not meant to hurt her, he had not known his absence would. He remained still, the shadow that had plagued him bearing down to poison the warmth that had spread in his chest.

With a great effort, he tore his eyes from her and looked back to the guar that was still nuzzling into her hand, his own hanging limply under its chin. Earlier in the tavern, he'd figured out what he would say. Something light and clever, sure to bring a pretty smirk to her lips. The words were lost to him, as if they'd never existed.

"Teldryn?"

He blinked at her as she looked up at him, the light in the yard reflecting in the nearly black pools of her eyes.

"I said- what do they eat?"

He took a breath to collect himself, uncertain that if he spoke it would be to answer her question.

"Uh.." he started lamely. What did guar eat, again?

_Scathecraw, you fucking coward._

As he opened his mouth they were plunged into darkness.

* * *

The guar startled with a chirp and Vanya yanked her hand away in surprise, losing her footing on the fence railing as her momentum tumbled her backward. Instead of her back hitting the ground, her feet were planted firmly as Teldryn's arm supported her waist. The plate of his armor was uncomfortable against her chest as he held her tightly to his side. She blinked, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness and she realized she was gripping parts of his armor. She relaxed her hands, her heart crashing against her ribs so hard she would not have been surprised if he could feel it, too.

In the scant light, she could make out his other hand resting on his dagger. He was looking out over the training yard and she followed his gaze, seeing what looked like a small, blue stone floating toward them.

With a huff, he relaxed his hold on her and she stepped back, her face growing warm as the areas that had been pressed to him tingled with the memory. She swallowed, rubbing her palms on the fabric of her tunic. A shrill voice got her attention.

"If you N'wahs are back here trying to feed them saltrice again I'll-" The source of the voice stopped and another ball of light appeared under the blue stone, that she now saw was attached to a staff. Vanya's eyes traveled down the staff to where she expected to see the wielder and was surprised as she dropped them further to the smallest dunmer she'd ever laid eyes on who was gazing indifferently at Teldryn. "Oh, it's you," the girl said as she shooed the wayward guar back toward the herd with the crook of her staff.

"Nathala," Teldryn said evenly. "A bit dramatic, don't you think?"

"Not when I've been up half the night keeping curious humans from giving my guar indigestion!" she spat, straightening up the staff that looked nearly twice her height. The girl spotted Vanya and uttered an accusing harumph before narrowing her eyes in scrutiny.

Vanya put her hands out to show they were empty. "We didn't feed them anything," she said, trying to mask her breathlessness. "He was just showing them to me. I've never seen guar before."

Nathala's bright red eyes crawled downward as she assessed Vanya and when they returned to her face, a smirk rose with them. "Oh, this is darling," the girl snarked as she turned to Teldryn. "Showing your little pet around, are you?"

"How dare you!" Vanya cried, the tingling on her skin moments before igniting to burning rage. "How  _dare_  you!" Her hands clenched instinctively as she advanced toward the railing glaring daggers, wishing she had one of steel to carve that smug expression from the girl's face. Vanya's throat closed as she tried to speak further, tears spilling over her cheeks as if they'd been waiting for an excuse.

Nathala's expression hardened as she recognized the threat in Vanya's eyes and she squared herself, tipping her staff in warning. Teldryn reminded Vanya of his presence with a hand on her shoulder and she recoiled as she swatted it away. She looked up through her tears at the astonished, concerned, and indescribably infuriating  _clueless_  expression on his face and forced herself to speak through her teeth, the words coming out in a quivering hiss.

" _Don't touch me_."

Unable to stand either dunmer for a moment longer, she whirled away and ran for the steps. She wiped her eyes with her shawl as she descended, relieved that she did not hear footsteps trailing her. As she neared the market she did not turn toward the Netch. She would go to a place she hoped that Teldryn would not think to look. A place the only person she wanted to see would.

* * *

Her words hung in the air long after she was gone, but it was the look in her eyes that rooted him where he stood.

He looked down at his hand that had by chance discovered the soft curve of her waist, the same hand that she struck away moments later at a touch to her shoulder. A touch he'd done so many times before. She'd never so much as flinched.

And her eyes. Fathomless depths that could consume his soul. Seething. Hurt.

Nathala whistled. "She's a feisty one."

"You miserable alit!" he shouted as he rounded on her, his voice disturbing the herd.

"Quiet yourself," she said as she waved her staff in an arc, a wave of green light settling over the animals to calm them. "Don't blame me for  _your_  problems, Teldryn. I just got here."

"I'm more than aware of my own problems, Nathala. I suggest you don't add to them."

"Or what," she sneered.

"Or perhaps some unforeseen calamity will befall your precious beasts," he said acidly. "A tragedy to be sure but do you really think Captain Veleth would mourn the loss?"

"Do not threaten me so," she hissed, her defiant look faltering. "I am under orders from House Redoran and my family-"

"I don't give a fuck who you are." He stepped further into the light to ensure she would grasp his sincerity. "You will never speak about her in that manner or you'll find that I care very little for the wishes of your Great House."

With her insolent expression thoroughly shattered, he turned and stalked toward the stairs. He would go to Vanya and correct his mistake. He knew the pain this world had caused her. He would not contribute. She had every right to that angry glare and he'd take his sword to any that she cast it upon.

Boethiah forsake him, he might get on his knees if she would never again cast it upon him.


	37. Lost and Found

Teldryn knocked firmly on Bralsa's bedroom door, certain that he would not be waking her since this was the only place Vanya could be. He'd gone to her room in the Netch, surprised that the door was open. Neither she nor Niyya were present and a quick look around revealed only stacks of books piled around the bed he suspected belonged to Vanya. She was not on the beach, Glover's house was dark, the guard in the market more useless than the lantern post that held him up straight. She  _must_  be here.

His certainty wavered when he heard soft curses and a man's voice.

The door opened and his insides churned as he was greeted by a very disgruntled Bralsa wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"By the Daedra, what do you want at this hour?" she groused.

"Vanya is not here..." His words were more statement than question.

Bralsa's gaze sharpened as she blinked, now fully awake. "Why would she be here?"

"Who is it, love," Rodane asked as he peeked through the crack in the door. "Oy! Teldryn!" he greeted cheerfully.

"Not now," Bralsa said, shooing the breton as Teldryn's mind sifted through the possibilities of Vanya's whereabouts. The clap of the door shutting brought his attention back to Bralsa, who was now in the hallway looking up at him suspiciously. "Why would she be here?" she asked accusingly. "What did you do?"

" _Nothing,"_ he hissed, offended at her insinuation. He narrowed his eyes at the woman, wondering just how much she knew about Vanya. They were very close. He suspected she knew enough and if he wanted her help he'd have to give a little. He curled his lip before adding, "It's what I didn't do. I  _need_  to find her."

Bralsa sighed through her nose, contemplating for a few moments. "I think I know where she is."

"So," he said impatiently. "Tell me."

She looked up at him peevishly. "If she wanted you to find her, you would have. Here's how it's going to be, Teldryn," she said sharply. "I'm going to go talk to her and find out what it is you did or  _didn't_  do, and you are going to sit in your room and wait for her to come to you."

"Bralsa-"

"No arguments. If you care for her you will do as I say." He looked down his nose at her but said nothing, knowing when he was bested. "Now go on," she said with a dismissive wave. "I have to get dressed."

* * *

When had she become so awful? The things she had wanted to do, the horrible things she had wanted to say halted only by the way her rage had welled up like vomit, choking her with its acid. That cruel little dunmer had cut her open to bleed the pain she held so close. She had wanted to smear it on the girl's remorseless face.

Vanya wrapped her shawl tightly around her, sitting on the floor of the shack behind a barrel. The building was much fuller now, being used by the town guard for storage. Rirns still had his place in the corner and had only grunted lightly when she had entered, rousing for a moment before rolling back over to continue snoring. She wiped her eyes, pushing more wetness onto her face than off since the corners of her shawl were soaked.

 _Poor Teldryn. Poor, poor Teldryn._  She had lost control of herself and struck his hand when he only meant to comfort. It was all wrong. She  _wanted_  to welcome his comfort.

She covered her mouth to muffle the sighing sob that escaped.

It couldn't be. Her heart was on Earth, scalded and reduced to ash, scattered by toxic winds. Lost without so much as a final glance, a press of his hand, one last desperate kiss before the grand future they had imagined for themselves was annihilated. She should have died with him.

"Oh, Sam," she muttered thickly.

What would he think of her now? Tossed into this world to be a plaything for the lowest dregs, a temporary amusement for those she considered friends. Her life a puff of smoke against the seeming eternity of theirs. She was nothing, insignificant.

The door to the shack creaked open and she made no move to see who it was.

"Vanya?" The familiar voice caused her to sigh in relief.

"Bralsa. I'm here."

The flickering flame of a candle came around the barrel, followed by her dear friend's concerned face.

"Hey," Bralsa said, setting down the candle as she crouched. She reached out and cupped Vanya's chin, lifting it to observe her tear-streaked face, ruby eyes hardening. "What on Nirn did he do to you?"

Rirns made his presence known, hollering, "Can't I get a moment's peace?"

"Oh,  _get a job_ , Rirns," Bralsa retorted as she settled in next to Vanya, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Please don't think badly of Teldryn," Vanya said. "He didn't do anything."

"So I've heard," she replied flatly, rubbing Vanya's shoulder, heaving a sigh. "I didn't think he'd do anything untoward but I see the way he looks at you." She squeezed lightly. "Sometimes things can be misinterpreted. What am I to think with you bawling like this while he's looking like a wounded animal? Honestly, I can't even pretend to understand what goes on between the two of you."

"There's noth-"

"Nothing?" Bralsa scoffed. "Is that what you were going to say?  _Nothing_ ," she repeated with a mirthless chuckle. "I should have guessed."

Vanya pressed her face into Bralsa's shoulder. "Shut up," she muttered, the corners of her mouth curling up before gravity pulled them down once more. Bralsa's shirt grew wet as an untapped well of tears sprang forth and she curled her fingers into the fabric, hanging on while shuddering breaths threatened to wrack her to pieces.

Bralsa sat with her, soothing and stroking her hair until her cheeks were dry and sticky. She rubbed her shawl over her face with a sniffle.

"Oh, sweet girl," Bralsa sighed. "There is too much sorrow in you for one so young."

Vanya frowned. She wished that could be true. It seemed to her she always had just enough to whisper at the brim, waiting for a careless brush to spill over.

"We were petting the guar," she said quietly. "The herding girl came out to stop us. She- she called me Teldryn's pet. Like I'm some  _object_. She wouldn't even speak to me."

"That bitch," Bralsa said emphatically.

"She really is."

They were quiet for a few moments before Bralsa spoke again.

"But I do need to say something about it and this might sound a little insensitive, Vanya, but you shouldn't take her comment personally. She doesn't know anything about what has happened to you. What she said is...well, besides being indelicate...is not an uncommon sentiment among mer." Bralsa grasped Vanya's shoulders and lifted her to look at her face. "It's hard for us, too."

She'd never thought of it that way. How it must feel to watch friends and lovers grow old, to have generations pass on leaving lifetimes of memories. Looking into her friend's eyes, she wanted to cry all over again.

"But I can't help myself." Bralsa poked her nose. "You humans are just too cute with your pink cheeks and round little ears."

"Bralsa," Vanya slapped her hand away, laughing despite herself. "You're not really helping."

"That smile tells me otherwise."

Vanya sat up and again rubbed her face with a frustrated groan. "I over-reacted. I was already kind of upset with him because he had left without telling me and she just tipped me over the edge. Gods, I was  _so_  angry."

"Wait," Bralsa said. "He left without telling you he was going?"

"Yeah," she replied, twisting one end of her shawl in her fingers. "It was kind of unfair of me to be so mad. It's not like he owes me anything."

"Now that's horker shit," Bralsa said sharply, causing Vanya to snap her eyes up. "If I just packed up and left one day would you be mad? Vanya, I'd be mad at you if you weren't. Why does he get a pass on common courtesy?" The dunmer gave her a light shove. "Because he's good-looking?"

Vanya huffed, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to protest but found that she couldn't.

Bralsa needled her shoulder with a finger, making suggestive hums until Vanya could not help but break out laughing.

Rirns cleared his throat loudly.

Bralsa rolled her eyes. "Let's get out of here, the air is foul. When I lived here I forced him to bathe every now and again."

* * *

She'd been in the storage shack. Yes, he'd come back to his room to wait as Bralsa had commanded but not before stalking in the shadows in the market to see where she was going. He should have known, it was obvious now that he thought about it. It had been difficult to not knock on the door.

He was stretched out on his bed, his head resting in his clasped hands, sleep evading him despite his exhaustion.

He needed to fix things, he needed to tell her how sorry he was for not even  _thinking_  of her feelings. His own feelings mattered not.

He blinked hard, his lids feeling full of grit.

What were his feelings?

Confusion.

That was for fucking sure.

Frustration.

Gods, she was  _maddening_.

Fear.

His eyes narrowed. What was it he feared?

He brought his hands around his head, dragging them down his face with a groan. He didn't know. He didn't know anything. He just knew he needed her to not be upset with him.

His stomach growled.

And he was hungry.

It must be near morning and she'd be working. He debated going out for breakfast. After last night there was no way he wanted to face her in the tavern and he had no idea what her reaction to seeing him would be. He was at a standstill. He didn't know how to proceed.

His deliberation ended with soft snoring.

* * *

Vanya laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She hadn't slept a wink and she knew it was nearing time to get up. Wild thoughts whipped through her sleep-deprived brain. Thoughts that she couldn't shake.

She liked Teldryn. She liked his touch, wanted his touch. Wanted him.

She nearly gasped at the rush of heat that shot down her body at the admission. She wanted him  _bad_.

In her previous life, she'd not been so prude as to save herself for marriage but she had always looked for serious relationships. She had always searched for the man to hold her heart and once upon a time she had found him. Now he was gone and her heart along with him, but she remained.

It had never occurred to her until her talk with Bralsa that she didn't need to worry about Teldryn wanting something serious. How could he? In fifty years she'd be old and gray and he would not have aged a day. He had said it himself, he only sought her friendship. Could that not include a few  _benefits_?

She would never have considered such a thing before. A lot had changed since then.

She heard Geldis passing by her room, groaning as he stretched. She kicked off her blanket and rolled out of bed with a sudden wave of energy. She didn't know if she'd see Teldryn for breakfast or not but she was going to have a talk with him today. They both had some things to apologize for and she was ready to be finished with this awkward game. Things really didn't need to be so complicated.

* * *

Vanya huffed as she pulled up the last water bucket and set it on the ground next to the well. It was quiet in the market, the glow of the sun just above the horizon, magnified by the fog that cast hues of orange and pink into the ashen clouds. It was familiar, beautiful in its own way. Vanya could scarcely remember how blue the Earth sky could be.

"Niyya," she said as the redguard moved to pick up a couple of buckets. "I owe you an apology."

"For what," Niyya asked as she straightened up, leaving the buckets on the ground. Vanya's lips pulled into a small smile at the cool look in her friend's eye as she waited for an explanation. At least someone was willing to hear her say sorry. She turned around and sat against the well as she spoke.

"For being unfairly cold to you when you only wanted to help. I don't really know how to explain myself but I'm going to be better."

Niyya's expression warmed and she took Vanya's hand, sitting on the edge of the well next to her. "I just want you to be happy."

"Let me worry about that." Vanya looked down at their clasped hands, giving a squeeze. "I've been feeling a little...lost lately. I'm sorry I've taken it out on you."

"You're already forgiven, Vanya. I just wish you could remember your life before. I can't imagine what that must be like."

"I think it's better that I don't remember," Vanya said as she got up, hefting two buckets off the ground. "I'm here now, this is my life."


	38. What The Lady Wants

Teldryn had not come out for breakfast and Vanya was not surprised. If he felt anything like she did, he was probably passed out. Surely he would be hungry and it was for that reason she was loading up a tray to bring him a kwama egg- fried how he liked it, bread with scrib jelly, sujamma, and tea.

She yawned mightily as she rubbed her eyes, blinking away the black spots that clouded her vision afterward. Could she really do this right now? She had to. Things had been weird between them for days now and she had started it. After last night he must think she hated him.

She went to her room to retrieve her stamina potion. If she was going to make Teldryn accept an apology for once she was going to need it. She downed the whole bottle, a shiver running down her spine as the magic spread. Her eyelids felt less like sandpaper, her limbs lighter, the dull droning in her mind lessening. Feeling more herself, she headed back out, picked up the tray and made her way to his room.

* * *

He awoke with a start from a light rapping on the door.

"Damn it," he said roughly, feeling as if he'd swallowed rocks. He swung his legs over the bed and got up, groaning all the while. He cleared his throat as he approached the door, pausing with his hand on the key. "Who is it?"

"It's me."

_Vanya._

He leaned his head against the door. However long he'd slept was not long enough, yet he wished he hadn't. What was he going to say? He couldn't leave her in the hallway while he figured it out so he turned the key to let her in, perplexed when he saw the unexpected grin on her face.

"Hey, sleepy-head," she said as she walked into the room with a tray full of food and drink.

He closed the door and blinked at nothing, suddenly wary. Last he'd seen her she was beside herself with fury, and now she came to him as if nothing had happened. He turned to watch her as she set the tray on the table, then hopped up to sit on the edge, her legs swinging as she picked up a teacup.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like? You didn't come out for breakfast so I brought it to you. Come, sit."

He crossed the room, sighing loudly as he sat in the chair. He looked up at her suspiciously and she met his gaze, her teacup at her lips. She had some motive but he did not have the energy to figure it out, not to mention the smell of the food on the table was breaking what little concentration he had. He gave in and reached for the bread, opting to simply dip it in the jelly rather than use the knife. Once he had taken a bite, she spoke.

"Now hopefully, your mother taught you not to speak with your mouth full because I have something I want to say."

So it  _was_  a trap. At least he knew his intuition was still keen even in his fatigued state. He slid his eyes up to her as he chewed, only to be surprised again as her expression turned sincere, her fingers worrying the teacup in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she said as she looked down into the cup. "For the way I acted last night. What I said to you, the  _way_  I said it. You didn't deserve that." Dark, glistening eyes raised to his. "It wasn't meant for you."

It was an unnecessary apology and he would have told her so but he found he couldn't speak, and not because of the bread in his mouth. That tender look, the one he had so coveted, was now paralyzing him, stealing his breath. He managed to grind his teeth together, chewing as if it were a novel activity.

She continued, "I took Nathala's comment too personally and just lost my head. You mean so much to me, Teldryn, I don't ever want you to feel otherwise."

He swallowed as the weight of her words settled on him. Still, he held his tongue, refraining from giving his opinion that Nathala had deserved Vanya's anger. He'd only interfered on reflex upon seeing the herding girl's staff tilt threateningly. He gazed up at the mystery of a woman before him who held so many secrets, most that he may never know for she guarded them as if she'd lose them upon their utterance. Any that she deigned to share with him, he would keep.

Her expression changed to a more familiar one of gentle chiding. "It also means that you can't just leave like you did. I almost thought I scared you off."

"There's ah...," he began, finally finding his voice as he tossed the bread back onto the plate. "an element of truth to that." He looked down as he dusted crumbs from his fingers, trying to string together the right words. The more he tried the simpler they became. He put his hand out on the table, palm open as he brought his eyes up to her.

She looked at his outstretched hand for a moment before setting down her cup. The warmth of her fingers as they settled into his echoed in his chest and he ran his thumb over her joints.

"I'm sorry, Vanya. I was not thinking clearly."

She squeezed his hand as a smile spread over her lips, lifting the heavy veil in the room as she giggled silently.

"Was that so hard?" she asked.

He smirked. "Yes, actually." He'd rather fight a camp of bandits than relive the last half a day but the way she laughed at his response was quickly making him forget it. She pulled her hand from his to pick up her tea and he hid his disappointment by returning his attention to his meal. He took a bite of the egg, pushing it to the side of his mouth to purposefully talk with his mouth full.

"Do all Earthlings apologize for things they had no fault in?"

* * *

Vanya scoffed, "Do all Dunmer refuse to accept an apology?"

 _Stubborn, stubborn man._  She watched him, shaking her head as he shrugged and continued eating, glancing up at her in amusement. At least he'd let her say everything she wanted without argument. When he had spoken his words were few, but the gentle touch of his roughened fingers and the sincerity in those crimson eyes had been more than enough.

"Speaking of which," he said. "If you're thinking of apologizing to Nathala..." He pointed his fork at her. "Don't."

"Believe it or not, I wasn't." If she never spoke to that girl again, it would be too soon.

"Good."

She sipped her tea, wishing it was hotter to jolt her senses. The stamina potion was wearing off. She started swinging her legs lightly. Teldryn pushed his empty plate away and took a sip of his own tea, his eyes resting on her moving legs for a moment before sliding up to her face. She took a breath to calm the fluttering in her stomach as she prepared to ask the question that had been floating in her mind all morning.

"How old are you?" He  _looked_  like he was no more than thirty-five.

"One-hundred twenty-three," he answered, the corner of his mouth curling up. "How old are you?"

 _Holy shit._  It was still a shock when she learned an elf's age. Even Dreyla was eighty-nine and she was considered very young.

"Twenty-six," Vanya replied feebly. "Wait!" She sat up, slapping her hand to her forehead. "Twenty-seven! I completely missed my birthday. It was months ago. The twenty-ninth of September-" She thought for a moment. "I think that would be during Hearth Fire."

A wide grin spread on his face as he laughed to himself, ending with a sigh. "I should have known."

"Should have known what?" she asked, squinting at him suspiciously.

"Your constellation is The Lady."

"And what, pray tell, does that mean?"

"It means..." He downed the remainder of his tea and set the cup on the tray. "You have an innate ability to get what you want."

She snorted derisively. "Well, then I know I can put about as much faith in that as my Zodiac."

"Zodiac?" he repeated, his eyes lighting with interest.

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "Star signs that correspond with the timing of your birth. That's what you mean by my constellation right?"

He sat up straighter, leaning an elbow on the table. "Yes, so what is your Zodiac?"

"Libra. The sign is a set of scales. I hate to disappoint, but I don't really know that much about what it means. I do know it's an air sign."

"Hmmmm." He relaxed into his chair again and reached for the mug of sujamma to take a sip. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he mulled over the information and she wished she knew more to satisfy the curious glow in his eyes. Apparently, the star signs really meant something on Nirn which sparked a little curiosity of her own.

Feeling cheeky, she set her cooled tea down and pulled the mug from his hand. "So what's  _your_  sign, Teldryn?" she asked before taking a sip.

He clearly did not understand the undercurrent of the question as he looked at her in outrage for her theft.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," she said, feeling a sudden mirth that she suspected was due to her lack of sleep. "I don't have cooties."

"Cooties?" She was already laughing by the time he said it but hearing it from his lips and the way he squinted his eyes tipped her into hysterics. She had to set the mug down, putting her hands over her face as she fell over on the table.

* * *

He smiled as he watched her shake with laughter at her personal inside joke, the sight causing him to laugh along despite not understanding. He pulled the tray from the table to give her room, depositing it on the floor. She calmed after a few moments and sat back up, taking deep breaths that ended in sighs and the occasional stray giggle.

She looked at him as she wiped her eyes, her voice cracking as she held back another outburst. "Say it again."

"Absolutely not," he said with a chuckle. He didn't mind playing along with her but he wasn't a jester. Besides, judging by the shade of her cheeks she might actually faint if she laughed like that again.

"Sorry," she said as she patted her face, trying to cool off. "I didn't sleep last night."

His expression fell. "Vanya, what are you still doing here? Go sleep."

She shook her head, hands still on her cheeks. "I couldn't sleep until I talked to you."

"We've talked. Now stop wasting time." He got up and held out his hand to help her off the table. "You need to go to bed." She took his hand and got to her feet, swaying ever so slightly, a mystifying little smile spreading on her face. She lifted her eyes to his, darker than he'd ever seen, his pulse jumping rapidly as she gazed up through her lashes.

"I don't have to go."

"Don't say such things," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. If she did not mean it, he did not want to hear it. His teasing could make her blush, her teasing could nearly unmake him.

"Why?" Her hand that he still held began moving up his arm, a light touch that commandeered his senses. "You don't like it?" she purred as she stepped closer, her head tilted back in undeniable invitation.

There was no conscious thought when he took her mouth, its softness matching that of her body as he pulled her to himself. She clung to him, arms around his neck, her lips parting easily for his eager tongue as he wound a hand in her hair, cradling her head as he leaned further into her. She tasted of sujamma. Her kiss was glorious.

He needed more.

She beat him to it, snaking a leg around his, the press of her hips making him groan into her mouth. He pushed her back to the table and she brought her legs up to circle his waist as he nipped the corner of her mouth before trailing down her chin, the regret of leaving her lips soothed by the soft pants she emitted as he worried the tender flesh of her neck. Her nails drew over his scalp, the grind of his hips driven harder by her heels digging at the back of his thighs.

_Clothing. Get rid of the clothing._

He stepped away from her embrace for just long enough to tear his shirt over his head and then his lips were on hers again, her fingers roaming up his back while his own found the edges of her tunic and dove underneath only to be teased by the thin fabric of the smock she wore. His greedy hands drew up the curve of her waist toward her shoulders, her tunic crumpling over his wrists. She raised her arms as he grasped the fabric and lifted it from her. He would have made for her mouth again but he stopped short, entranced by the peaks of her breasts under the thin smock that left little to the imagination. Imagination he had no need for because as he stood there she pushed the straps down her shoulders, letting the smock slide down to pool around her hips.

"So beautiful," he breathed as he took her in his arms, laying her back on the table to continue his assault on her neck, a roaming hand finding her breasts, his ministrations eliciting soft moans that could drive him to madness.

He straightened back up as he reached for the laces of her breeches, tugging roughly, stepping away as he slid them down.

"Mephala..." Her legs were so  _smooth_. He ran his hands down her calves, then back up over her thighs as he took his place between her legs, noticing even the hair of her sex was cropped neatly. "For fuck's sake, Vanya, do you shit gold, too?" he quipped as he tugged at his own laces, making quick work of relieving himself of his breeches.

Her head fell back against the table as she laughed and she tightened her legs around him to pull him closer. He obliged, positioning himself at her wet entrance as she pulled his shoulders down, catching his mouth in a fervent kiss that ended with a cry as he thrust inside her and the world fell away.

* * *

The hard surface of the table grated against her spine as he rocked into her again and again, her breaths shallow from his superior weight and the flourishing heat in her core. She hung onto his shoulders as she locked her legs around his hips to pull herself up to meet him and he caught her waist, holding her suspended while continuing his driving pace.

"Ah! Teldryn!" she whined as he pushed her nearer to her peak in mounting waves. His movements became more erratic, her body responding in kind, growing desperate for release. He shuddered, arching hard into her with a low growl and she came apart, moaning helplessly as she rode out each thrust as he spent himself inside her.

She was listless as he lowered her hips back to the table, running his hand up her side before propping himself up on his elbows over her, their heavy breaths intermingling in the small space between their lips. Her exhaustion would be put off no longer and she could barely keep her eyelids open as he pressed his forehead to hers, laughing softly.

"Will you go to bed now?"

"Mmhmm." She ran her hands blindly up his arms to rest on his shoulders as her mind dove in and out of consciousness, anchoring herself to the firmness beneath her fingers, the caress of his lips on her cheek, the smell of sujamma and smoke, the sound of his voice in her ear as she obeyed his command.

"Sleep."

**A/N: Oh, they done it now. I hope ya'll are here for it because we are entering what I've affectionately dubbed the Lemon Meringue arc.**


	39. Teasing

Vanya awoke to a tickling sensation on her nose, sniffing as she tried to rub it away only for it to come right back. Her senses began to sharpen, picking up the feeling of sheets on her bare skin that was mostly enveloped by the warmth of another body. She opened her eyes suddenly, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the familiar room. She looked down at the top of Teldryn's head that was very tightly nuzzled against her breasts. She ran her fingers over the surprisingly coarse hair of his mohawk then down the back of his head to his shoulders, almost disbelieving what they'd done. She'd never felt that way before, the memory recurring as if it had happened to someone else. But here they were.

She could feel the hair of his chest against her ribs and stomach, and her rumpled camisole still around her waist and she giggled into his hair at the fact that he'd literally put her to bed just how she was. He had apparently decided to be her blanket as well, judging by the way he was wrapped around her. Although, there wasn't much choice there seeing as they were in a single bed.

He stirred, asking groggily, "What's so funny?"

"You."

He rolled his head back, eyeing her sleepily. "Why?"

"You're just cute, is all."

"Hmph," he said pressing his face back onto her chest, sighing as tightened his hold on her waist. She closed her arms around his head, reveling in the heat of his long, slow breaths as he drifted back to sleep.  _I wonder what time it is?_

Judging by the way she felt, they'd slept for quite a while and it was likely nearing time for her to get back to work for the evening. She pressed her hand to his forehead, tilting his head away from her chest.

"Teldryn, I probably need to get up."

He winced and pressed back into her. "No."

She laughed, scolding, "Teldryn, I have to work!"

"You  _have_  to stay with me," he said as he rolled on top of her, kissing a trail up her neck before stopping her laugh by closing his mouth over hers. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his back, their kiss so deep she could scarcely breathe. She could feel him, hard against her leg and she opened herself up, ready for him to quench the burning he was stoking inside her. He lifted his hips and reached between her legs, drawing a whimper from her as his long fingers explored her wetness. She nipped at his lower lip, raking her nails up his back as he prodded deeper and she arched into his palm, panting.

"I need you," she said breathlessly. He groaned softly onto her cheek and drew his fingers away, preparing to follow her command.

There was a knock at the door.

They locked eyes for a moment before he turned his head toward the door, blinking angrily.

"Teldryn- " She was cut off as he pushed up from the bed, stalking across the room for his pants. As he pulled them on, Vanya couldn't help but admire how gorgeous he was. Broad muscles from sword fighting spanned his back, angling sharply to a cut waist- the sight of which made her lick her lips. His long limbs were well-built and the gods help her if his butt was not chiseled perfection. Her admiration was interrupted as he reached for the door handle.

* * *

"Wait!" Vanya squeaked as she hopped up, running to the other side of the room as she tried to straighten her smock. "I don't want to be seen like this."

He realized that the bed was in clear view from the door and he wholeheartedly agreed with her sentiment. He waited until she was by the table, his frustration deepening as she picked up her clothing to put it on.

"Who is it?" he called through the door sharply.

"Geldis."

He scowled as he pulled the door open, leaning on the doorframe.

"What is so important, Geldis?" he said, making no attempt to mask his irritation.

The barkeep frowned at his state of undress. "Ah..." Geldis said, squinting. "Is Vanya with you?"

Teldryn hummed affirmatively through tight lips, trying to pierce the other man with his glare.

"Oh dear, well...ah...if you would..." Geldis said as he raised his voice a little to ensure she would hear. "Tell her that it's nearly supper time and she's needed in the kitchen." He pursed his lips and gave a curt nod then turned on his heel to retreat down the hallway.

Teldryn spoke loudly to the space where Geldis had just been. "She fuckin' knows that!" He slammed the door and raked his fingers over his head, sorely lamenting his stolen pleasure.

Vanya laughed. "Poor Geldis."

"Yes, poor Geldis," he muttered. She snaked her arms around his waist and he pressed her closer as she gave him a sly grin, her fingers drawing lightly up his back.

"You know," she said, her breath whispering at his chin. "I don't have to work in the morning and with the training yard occupied..." She kissed his jaw lightly. "I see no reason to get up early, do you?"

"None at all," he replied as he curled his fingers under her tunic, returning kisses to her chin and going for her neck. She pressed a hand to his chest and pushed away, stepping back with that reprimanding look he liked so well.

"See you at supper?" she asked as her fingers trailed down, hooking into the waistband of his breeches. "Or do you think you can handle it?"

"You'd better go," he warned. She bit her lip as she turned to leave and it took all his willpower to not grab her and pull her back to bed. Once the door was closed he sighed, feeling somewhat bereft and not just because of his aching member. He would go out for supper but it was still early. In the meantime, he wanted to sleep a while longer. How that woman seemed so well rested after only a few hours was beyond him. He fell face first onto the pillow, smiling at the alluring scent she left. He breathed deeply of juniper and hearth fire as he drifted off.

* * *

Vanya hurried through the kitchen, glad to be away from the curious eyes of the patrons that she was convinced knew exactly what she'd been doing only moments before. Niyya spotted her as she tried to run to their bedroom.

"Hey!" Niyya called after her, catching the door before it could close. "You  _were_  with Teldryn, weren't you?" She backed away as the redguard followed her with a penetrating gaze that widened in understanding at her utter failure in looking innocent.

"By the gods..." Niyya breathed and Vanya covered her face with her hands as a furious blush bloomed over it. Niyya grabbed her wrists, pulling her arms down. "You were with him alright," she said, nodding as a smirk pulled at the corners of her mouth. "So what happened, how was it? Tell me!"

"Niyya, please." Vanya pulled her wrists free. "I need to wash up."

"I bet you do!" Niyya said with a laugh.

Vanya gasped, trying to look outraged before giving in and falling on the bed. Niyya sat down next to her, eyes twinkling.

"Honestly, I don't even know how to describe it. He's just...he makes me feel..." She narrowed her eyes at the cracks in the ceiling as she searched her mind for an accurate word, coming up empty. "I don't know, but I didn't want to leave."

Niyya pressed a hand to her shoulder. "I'm so happy for you."

Vanya rolled to her side, propping her head up on her hand. "I have a favor to ask you. Can you get Geldis to help you with the water tomorrow morning?" She gave a cheeky grin as Niyya raised her eyebrows.

"Making up for lost time, hm?"

"Ahem."

They both looked toward the door where Geldis was standing with his arms crossed, gazing at them coolly. He dropped his arms and turned away, muttering, "In the future, I'm hiring old maids."

Vanya hid her face in her blanket while Niyya tutted, "What's  _his_  problem?"

* * *

Vanya sipped at the edge of the ladle, smacking her lips as she decided whether the ash-hopper stew needed another pinch of salt. She turned when she heard Geldis sputtering incoherently, seeing Bralsa striding into the kitchen waving her hand in dismissal.

"Ah, come off it," she said. "This isn't some a royal keep! I just want to have a quick word with Vanya."

He rolled his eyes and gave up, turning back to the bar.

"Hey," Vanya greeted with a smile.

"Hey." Bralsa eyed her curiously. "So is he still sulking in his room, or what?"

Vanya arched an eyebrow and picked up the bowl of salt, sprinkling a little bit over the stew. "Probably."

The dunmer sidled closer, scrutinizing. "But you've gone to see him."

She glanced up from the pot, nodding.

"And..."

"And..." she repeated, glad her face was already flushed from the heat of the hearth. " _Nothing_  happened," she said with a smirk as she brought the ladle to her lips once again, sliding her eyes to her friend's disbelieving face as she took a sip.

Bralsa's gaze narrowed to red slits. "You fucked him."

Vanya coughed the broth back into the ladle, turning away from the pot while wiping her chin. "For God's sake..." she muttered as she crossed the room to the wash bucket.

Bralsa laughed as she followed her. "Can't say I didn't expect it at some point, just..." She leaned against the counter as Vanya scrubbed the ladle intently, watching for a moment before continuing, "Well, I guess that's one way to make up. Maybe now he'll be less of a kagouti." Vanya glanced up, confused, and she clarified, "Less mean."

"Oh." Vanya pressed her lips together, remembering his reaction to Geldis' untimely interruption. "That depends..."

* * *

Teldryn sat down at his table in the tavern, the action suddenly causing him to reflect on all that had occurred since the last time he was in this chair. He gazed out over the room, everything looked the same and he inwardly gloated over the divine secrets he'd uncovered only hours before.

Geldis cast him a rather inscrutable look and Teldryn pursed his lips. Not quite as secret as he would have liked.

Niyya was working the floor and it seemed to him the glances he was receiving from her were a little too knowing. She finally approached him with a mug in hand, setting it in front of him with a grin. "Courtesy of Bralsa," she said with a quirk of her brow before turning to leave.

He ran his tongue over his teeth as he looked at the drink then slid his eyes to where Bralsa was sitting with a group. She winked conspicuously before turning her attention back to her companions.

_Mephala's bloody web, do women communicate telepathically?_  He shook his head as he brought the mug to his lips. He really didn't want to know.

* * *

She was finished preparing Teldryn's meal and Niyya had not yet returned to pick it up. It simply wouldn't do for it to cool so she decided to take it to him. Besides, it was fairly late and she didn't have many other orders to make.

He was leaning against the wall in his seat, the tip of his pipe resting between barely parted lips as smoke wafted between them. He noticed her approach and did not move except for the corner of his mouth curling up.

"Hello, stranger," Vanya said as she set his plate on the table. "You look familiar. Come here often?"

His eyes roamed her openly as he blew the rest of the smoke from his mouth. "I'm not going to answer that."

She arched her brow. "Mysterious," she said saucily as she turned away, making sure flip her hair a little as she strode back to the kitchen, her heart fluttering wildly.

* * *

He scraped the remains of his meal onto his fork and brought it to his mouth, pushing the plate away lightly once he was finished. He leaned back in his chair with a contented sigh, contemplating. There was still some time to endure before he could steal Vanya away.

He should probably bathe.

* * *

Vanya collected Teldryn's empty plate, the man nowhere to be seen, most likely gone to his room. She hurried back to the kitchen to finish the washing and was met with dancing lavender eyes as she entered.

"Give me those," Niyya said as she reached for the dishes. "You have somewhere to be."

Vanya smiled as she gladly handed them over. "First I have to get some things." She ran to her room for her basket, throwing in her sleeping gown then headed back to the kitchen for some snacks.

Niyya laughed as she watched her. "How long are you planning to stay exactly?"

"Just through the morning," she said as she picked up a bottle of wine and two goblets. "but I'm not coming out until then."

"Go on, then."

Geldis was wiping down the counter as she passed him and he paused when he saw the basket on her arm, his brow furrowing.

"Goodnight," Vanya chirped, feeling her cheeks reddening as she trotted away from the barkeep and down the hallway.


	40. Sweet Things

He sat facing the door, using a damp rag to clean ash-hopper blood out of one of his bracers when he heard a light knock. He tossed the bracer onto his discarded armor and got up to answer.

"It's me," she said quietly through the door before he could ask. He pulled it open and Vanya walked in with a basket on her arm.

"What's all that?" he asked as he shut the door, the click of the lock unusually satisfying.

"Oh, just some provisions," she said, lifting the basket between them. He smirked as he took a step forward and she stepped back, her eyes glittering as she walked backward toward the table. "Bread, jelly, sweetroll, comberry tart..." He followed her, step for step, until she stopped setting the basket down on the surface. She reached out and took his hand, pulling him easily the rest of the way. "Do you feel sufficiently spoiled?" she said against his lips.

He closed the small distance, kneading her mouth softly with his own as he circled his arms around her. Her fingers spread across his ribs then around his back until her hands anchored on his shoulders, hanging onto him as he cradled her head in the crook of his elbow, their kiss deepening with a frantic passion. Following the curve of her waist down to her hips, he pressed her against him as his hands found their target, spreading wide over the delightful roundness of her ass. He clamped his hands and hoisted her up, causing her to break the kiss with a gasp, recovering quickly as she wrapped her legs around him and kissed along his jaw as he moved toward the bed.

He lowered her to the mattress gently at an angle that would suit his plans, teasing his fingers under her tunic to find the edge of the smock while he nipped her collarbone. She arched her back to allow the fabrics to be pushed upward, raising her arms and he reveled in the languid display as she was once again revealed to him. He teased his lips along her prickling skin, her soft moans vibrating against his tongue as he tasted the pink bud of one breast, running his palm over the other as he kneaded. Her nails grazed over his scalp down to his shoulders, hips rolling against his stomach and he slid off the bed to his knees, tugging at her laces while she watched with a heated gaze.

"In answer to your question," he said as he pulled her breeches down. "I feel very spoiled."

She bit her lip as she ran her heels over his shoulders and he drew his fingers down her  _impossibly_  smooth legs, catching her ankles, spreading her as he kissed his way back up. She curled toward him as he neared the center and he snaked an arm under her waist to prop her up, earning a gasp as he teased with his fingers before closing his mouth over her wet heat.

Velvet softness and the sweet tang of her sex met his tongue, her hand curling tightly into his hair as she emitted a cry that could be mistaken for anguish while he sighed into her with a passionate kiss. Her heels scraped up his back, calves brushing the tips of his ears, driving him deeper, making him groan as her hips jumped erratically. He spread his hands along the inside of her thighs, pushing them apart against the bed to hinder her movements and her voice cracked as his name left her lips, a beautiful plea that he was all too eager to appease. He was lost in her, exploring her fully, relentless.

A violent spasm tore through her, her moans and the twitching against his tongue rewarding his efforts and he gazed up the flawless landscape of her body, drinking in her release.

* * *

Weightless, yet unable to move, she laid looking up at the ceiling, shivering as cool air rushed in to fill his absence between her legs. She hadn't known it could be like that. She looked down to see him pulling off his shirt, wiping his mouth with it before tossing it aside, then reaching for the laces of his pants, grinning at her wickedly. The sight of his naked form as he stood up made her ache with need despite her lingering tenderness and she reached out for him to hasten his advancement. He settled over her, his arms creeping between her and the bed to hold her close as she drew her fingers lightly over his back.

"You're so warm," he said as he nuzzled into her hair, the tickle of his breath making her flinch as she laughed. His response was to press further into the crook of her neck, nipping softly. She squealed as she wriggled beneath him, her skin breaking out with goosebumps as she gripped his shoulders, torn between pushing him away or pulling him closer. Sliding her hands up his neck to his jaw, she brought his face up to take his smiling mouth with a burning kiss, tasting herself on his tongue as he quickly returned the heat. He snaked a hand between them, lifting his hips and when she felt his erection against her she tugged his lower lip between her teeth to let him know how much she wanted it.

He groaned against her lips as he entered her and she pulled him back into their kiss, curling around him with her legs pressed tightly to his sides. He was everywhere, moving inside and out, building her up from the very center of her being until she was whining into his mouth. With a deep breath, he broke the kiss.

"Gods, you feel good," he murmured, his words electrifying her nerves, turning her whimpers to moans. Without breaking pace, he hooked his arms around her knees, pulling her legs up over his shoulders, the deepened angle bringing her to the screaming edge. Basking in the sounds of his pleasure, she succumbed once again to hers, tumbling into consuming ecstasy underneath his stiffening frame. With hitching breaths, he clamped a hand on her waist as he came and she rolled her head back, savoring the feeling of his fulfillment.

Her legs fell to the bed as he released them, her already shallow breaths pushed from her lungs as he sagged on top of her. She coughed, mustering the strength to push at his chest.

"Teldryn, I can't breathe."

* * *

"Hold on," he said, waiting for his limbs to respond to the orders to move.

She pressed harder against him. "I can't. You're suffocating me." He rolled away onto his back, stretching out and folding his arms behind his head. A smug smile crept across his lips as she took a deep breath.

"You wear me out, woman," he stated truthfully. She laughed and she gazed over at him serenely, every curve of her body flushed and glistening.

Gods, she was beautiful.

She reached out to glide her fingers over his chest as she turned toward him, resting her chin on her crossed arms. He closed his eyes, feeling her weight with each breath, cool air caressing the places her warmth was not touching, her nails scraping lightly along his skin. When he opened them again she was watching him with a curious expression. He arched his brow.

"Need something?"

"You never answered my other question," she said, the corner of her mouth curling up.

He searched his mind a moment before answering. "What question?"

"What is your star sign?" she responded, as if it were obvious.

"Ah," he replied, remembering their conversation that already seemed so long ago. "The Thief."

She blinked a few times, her smile widening. "Is that why you carry lockpicks?"

"I am no thief," he said pointedly as he pushed her onto her back, caressing wayward strands of hair from her cheek to plant a tender kiss near the base of her ear. "My mother used to curse the stars every time I got into mischief." He smirked. "And got out of it."

"Surely not." She grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to hers. "You?"

He chuckled and pressed his head into the crook of her neck, drawing her into his embrace. He sighed contentedly as her fingers drew lightly over his scalp. She could do that all night as far as he was concerned.

"I was born during Evening Star," he said against her skin. "What does that make my Zodiac?"

"Evening Star would be December..." she said thoughtfully. "What day?"

"The ninth or tenth, I don't remember exactly."

She tugged at his hair and he could hear the amusement in her voice. "You don't remember your birthday?"

* * *

"It's one of those," he said, his laugh tickling her neck. She rolled her eyes as she resumed scratching his head. She supposed after a hundred or so birthdays, she might forget the exact day as well.

"I think you would be a Sagittarius." She wouldn't bet her life on it, but she was pretty sure. "If I remember right it's a bow and arrow."

She could practically feel him thinking and she hoped he wouldn't ask any questions because she didn't have any answers beyond what she'd already said.

_A thief with a bow and arrow._

"So you're Robin Hood," she said, smiling when he lifted his head and squinted at her quizzically. He propped himself up on one elbow, looking like he was trying to figure out if she was being serious.

"As for me," she continued with a giggle. "Well, all I need is a blindfold and I'd be Lady Justice."

His brow quirked up. "Is that a request? Because I have just the thing." He reached over her to the nightstand, retrieving his cowl, snapping it between his hands as he tried to lower it over her eyes.

"No!" she squeaked, her hand shooting up to catch it. He let her snatch it away, laughing as she sat up and pushed him down, straddling his waist. "But perhaps I should use my powers to put  _you_  in binds," she purred as she looped the cowl around his wrists. She leaned down trapping his hands between them, hovering her lips over his.

"And what is my crime, muthsera?" The tone of his voice and burning in his eyes drained her mind of coherent thought.

"I'll think of something," she said breathlessly, kissing him almost as the words left her mouth. Soft and slow, she explored his mouth as if she owned it, mapping him out with her tongue, one hand tightening its grip on the cowl as the other roamed over the expanse of his chest. She couldn't get enough.

"Ah, Vanya." Teldryn's voice was hoarse as he broke their kiss. "Make no mistake, I want this but..." He looked truly regretful as he spoke. "I meant it when I said you wear me out."

"I suppose I can delay your sentence," she said as she sat up, freeing his hands and placing the cowl around her neck.

He slid his hands over her thighs as his eyes roamed her appreciatively. "That suits you."

She only smiled as she leaned forward, folding her arms to rest on his chest so she could admire his face. She raised the fingers of one hand to graze along his stubbled chin toward a long, pointed ear then followed his cheekbone up to his brow, over the deep violet marks that she hardly noticed anymore.

"What does your tattoo mean?" At her question, the air in the room changed immediately and she withdrew her hand, resting it back on his chest as his gaze cooled. She watched his expression flicker with a torrent of barely concealed emotions, felt his hands tighten on her legs as he smoothed his face until the storm only remained in his eyes.

"It means my emancipation," he said simply. "Let me up." He patted her leg softly, his tone gentle despite the obvious tension and she immediately obeyed, rolling off of him. He got up and retrieved his pants from the floor, pulling them on then crossing the room and picking up his pipe from the table. A small smile pulled at her lips as she watched his practiced movements. She knew this cold feeling all too well, though it was strange to be on the receiving end for once.

Vanya looked down at the cowl around her neck, the faded color of House Redoran, running her fingers over worn threads that told stories that were more than likely older than her. She removed the cowl, tossing it back to the nightstand and found her tunic amongst the sheets, putting it on as she got up. He was still facing the table, taking his first draw on his pipe and she pulled the wine bottle from the basket. She popped the cork and poured some for herself then inclined the bottle toward him, meeting his eyes as he blew smoke from the corner of his mouth.

"You want some?"

"Is it shein?" he asked, grabbing the bottle by the neck and taking a whiff, wrinkling his nose.

"Nah, snowberry."

He held the bottle out to her. "I'll pass."

"More for me," she said with a shrug as she took the wine, mentally noting to bring a flagon of Sujamma next time. "So, you want to hear the story of Robin Hood?"

The way his lips quirked up around the tip of the pipe told her the answer and she smiled, taking the bottle along with her as she headed back toward the bed. "Come settle in, I think you'll like this tale."


	41. Spellbinding

Sputtering out the strands of hair that invaded his mouth, he tried to rid himself of them without the use of his hands since they were fully entangled with Vanya's still sleeping form. He peeled his eyes open to see the room was dark, the candles having burnt out through the night over which she had sipped wine that was too sweet and told him of Robin Hood and other folk tales that were full of adventure, some of them teeming with mysticism that made him wonder if magic had once existed on Earth. Where would such stories come from if it had not? His inquiries had been cut short when she'd demanded stories in return, and so he'd obliged, telling her some of his own experiences starting with the scar on his chin that he'd gotten in Nchardak and ending when she'd drifted off while he spoke of the puzzles of Benkongerike.

Teldryn kissed her shoulder, shifting slightly to close the small amount of space that had crept between them as they slept. She was clutching one of his hands to her breasts, which were unfortunately covered by her tunic, and though he knew it was morning he decided that it was nowhere near time to get up. He closed his eyes contentedly, enjoying the sensation of her back against his front, the sound of her even breathing, her soft legs intertwined with his- and the sudden and rather infuriating call of nature. He rolled his head back with a sigh and began the process of extricating himself without waking her. Once he was free, he threw a dim magelight in the air and climbed out of bed to find his shirt. He pulled it over his head and left the room.

* * *

She took a deep breath through her nose, reaching her arms up to stretch as she opened her eyes. She paused, blinking a few times at the dim ball of light floating in the room, then brought her hand down onto the space next to her in the bed finding nothing but crumpled linens.  _He must have stepped out for a minute._

She sat up, still gazing at the light. She'd fallen asleep listening to the sound of his voice while he told her stories about fighting bandits, wizards, trolls, and other creatures he'd named that she had no mental images for; finding treasures and ancient artifacts, some that belonged to the gods themselves. She couldn't believe they were stories that he had  _lived_. Her pathetic fairy tales paled in comparison. Her eyes dropped from the light to her hands, calloused and good for nothing more than the labor they'd grown accustomed to. She flexed her fingers.  _Could I do more?_

The door creaked open and she looked up to see Teldryn entering.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, closing the door softly.

She shook her head as he crossed the room. He fell into the bed, encircling her waist with his arms while pressing his head on her lap.

"Can you teach me that?" She motioned toward the light with one hand, the other scratching through his hair.

"Now?" he asked, his voice muffled against the fabric of her tunic.

"Doesn't have to be now," she replied. "Just sometime."

* * *

Better to get it over with. It was the dreaded request that he knew would come. He'd suspected before but now, after being so close with her, he was almost certain.

He rolled onto his back, putting his hand out to draw the light into his palm and the way her eyes glittered with anticipation as it drew nearer made him ache. He really hoped he was wrong.

"What did you say you felt when you touched this?" he asked, holding the light in front of her. She placed her fingers into the light for a few moments, her brow knitting as she twisted them around.

"Pressure," she said slowly. "but that's not quite right. The best way I can think to describe it is the air is thick." She scrunched her nose up, as if that still wasn't the answer she was looking for. He propped himself up on an elbow, studying her face.

"But you feel nothing else. In your head?"

She blinked a few times and shook her head. "No, just where I'm touching."

He released the light back into the air and grasped her hand, turning it over.

"Imagine..." he said, then hesitated. How would one describe the  _feeling_  of magicka? It was innate, like breathing. "Imagine you are drawing the very air into your palm. Building it in your fingers."

She closed her eyes and took a breath through her nose as she concentrated. He focused his feeling on her hand, searching for even the slightest flicker. Nothing.

It could be that he'd given a poor description. "Or maybe try pouring your energy into your hands, from deep inside your mind."

She nodded, her face pinching a little with renewed effort.

"Should I be feeling something?" she asked after a few moments, opening her eyes.

"Yes, and so should I," he replied, studying her palm as if it would reveal some answer. "Someone more attuned would be able to feel another's magicka from afar but when I touch you, I should feel it. Especially if you're calling upon it." Her hand went limp in his grasp as she understood.

"So I can't do it, can I?" The defeat in her voice cut him and when he built the courage to look at her face, at her failed attempt to seem impassive, it was salt in the wound.

"I don't know," he said truthfully, eager to give even the smallest bit of hope. "Magicka is our connection to Aetherius. Perhaps you cannot make that connection, or perhaps something blocks you."

"It must be something you're born with," she said with a shrug. "I wasn't born here, so I don't have it."

He had not wanted to believe it. If she knew what it was she was missing she would not speak so carelessly. She walked this world numb to its very essence, her mind caged. It was unfathomable. Wrong.

There had to be a way.

* * *

He was kneading her hand, his expression growing disturbed.

"It's okay, Teldryn," she said assuringly. "I had my doubts. I've lived this long without it." She was disappointed, yes, but her hopes had not been all that high in the first place.

He pressed his lips to her palm then pulled her down into his arms, her head under his chin and she curled her hands against his chest. She smiled as he sighed heavily. He really seemed to be taking this harder than she was.

"Teldryn," she scolded, nipping lightly at his collarbone. "Stop thinking about it." She rolled her head back to look him in the face. "I'm not."

Her smile faded when she met his eyes, forlorn as if he were looking at some pitiful, broken thing. It made her regret that she'd even asked. She scooted up, pushing him onto his back, curling a leg around his waist. "What did I just tell you?" she said archly.

He smirked slightly as a far more preferable look began to grow, his hand following her thigh upward under her tunic. Climbing fully on top of him, she pressed her lips to his, gently massaging his mouth until he relaxed into the kiss. His hand trailed up her back bringing her tunic with it and she pushed his arm down onto the bed, driving her tongue into his mouth as she ground her hips against the cloth of his pants. His other hand dove between them for his laces and she sat up, catching his wrist.

"No, that's for me to do," she purred, setting his hands firmly on her thighs. "You just stay right there."

His eyes were pure fire as she ran her hands under his shirt across his stomach, caressing downward to tug lightly at the strings that held him constrained. She lifted herself up, using both hands to push his pants down just enough to free him, his hands on her legs tightening as she wrapped her fingers around his taut shaft. She watched his eyes flutter, his lips part as she drew her wetness along his length, sliding her hand down and back up, her moistened palm gliding over his head. He grit his teeth, giving her the faintest whimper and she could take no more. She raised her hips again, a hand on his ribs for support and pressed him to her opening, nearly choking on her gasp as he thrust up hard, using his grip on her thighs for leverage. She closed her fist around the fabric of his shirt, lowering herself over him with a growl.

"You're naughty," she said, nipping at the corner of his remorseless smirk. "Maybe I  _will_  have to tie you up."

A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest, his hands roaming to her ass while he thrust again causing her to lose her balance over him, her face ending up pressed into his neck. She took advantage, kissing roughly under his chin while tangling her hand into his hair, pulling back to gain more access. His hands slid up her back, again trying to disrobe her and this time she let him, straightening up as he brought the cloth over her head. He sat up, pulling her along with him as he slid back to lean against the bed frame. She smiled, running her fingers over his head as he lowered his mouth to one of her breasts. Her hands followed the contours of his shoulders, down his arms to grab his wrists.

"You know," she said as she pressed his hands against the headboard, the action pulling his head away from her chest as he breathed heavily, eyeing her hotly. She intertwined her fingers with his, drawing his hands closer to his ears. "You don't listen very well."

She covered his attempt at a smart reply with her mouth, rolling her hips, swallowing his groans until her own cry caused her to break away. She was no longer pushing at his hands but he still held them in place as she hung onto him, every movement coiling her tighter while the light brush of her breasts against the fabric of his shirt drove her wild.

He let go suddenly, grasping her hips, his strangled moan spread heat across her chest as he came. She curled her fingers around the edge of the bed frame, his rigid thrusts lifting her upon the verge of euphoria until it spread in waves, from her very center to her limbs, washing away everything but his solid presence as she crashed against him with screaming breaths.

* * *

Her head was tilted back with wordless cries that were praise to his ears as she shivered around him, writhing uncontrollably. He winced a little, ignoring his sensitive discomfort that was nothing compared to the sight of her completion. She was sublime.

Her movements slowed and she leaned against him, breathing heavily. He pressed his head to her shoulder, becoming aware of the sheen of perspiration that coated them both. He dragged his fingers across the long lines of her legs, up her back and he scooted away from the bed frame to lay them down, gazing appreciatively over her body.

"That was fun," he said as he tugged his breeches back up.

A grin spread across her lips and she pulled her hair over her face as she snickered.

"Don't tell me you're being shy now," he said in astonishment, pushing her hands down and wiping the hair from her reddened cheeks. "I think you are touched by Sheo himself." Her laugh was infectious and he gave up, dropping his head against her neck as he joined her. He closed his eyes, inhaling in her soft scent, the vibration of her giggling filling him with a warmth that seeped into his soul. He turned his head on her shoulder, listening as her breathing calmed, the quiet returning him to his troubling thoughts.

She acted as though she didn't care, but her eyes had given her away. Of course, she wanted to do magic. And she should. He had to find a way for her, not just for her own desires but for his desire to share it with her. What wonders could she perform with that clever mind, if it could only be freed?

* * *

He was thinking again. She could tell by how still he was as she scratched his shoulder lightly. He really didn't need to worry about her lack of magical ability, she had already accepted her limitations, unpleasant as they were. She was a foreign body, affected by the forces of this world but unable to weave herself into it. She would be fine.

She stared into the soft orb of light.  _But it would have been pretty fucking cool._

* * *

**A/N: I always hoped I'd find a place to insert Benkongerike. It's so fun to say(even more now that I'm saying it right)! BENKONGERIKE!**

**Also, I said lemon meringue didn't I? huehuehue**

**Don't worry, next chapter they actually leave the bedroom. XD**


	42. Back Down to Nirn

"So what are you doing with your day?" she asked while stacking dishes on the tray Teldryn held out for her. She was a little surprised how much they had accumulated; cups, plates, a teapot, scraps of food and a half-empty wine bottle that was entirely her doing.

"I'll go bother Modyn for a while," he said after a moment of consideration. "See what he's doing with the guar."

"Going to help?"

His expression soured. "More like see when the training yard will be usable again."

Her mouth curled up sardonically as she set the last teacup on the tray. "I'm sure he'll appreciate you breathing down his neck."

"We don't have to continue your training, I suppose," he said lightly, a sly smile pulling at his lips. "I rather like this new arrangement."

"Let's just find somewhere else to train. Out on the beach or something," she offered, picking up her basket. "Besides..." She turned toward him, advancing until she was up against the tray. "It would be away from prying eyes."

He tilted his head as his eyes darkened. "I like the way you think."

She noticed his fingers twitch around the edges of the tray and smirked, taking a step back. "Too bad your hands are full."

"You underestimate me," he said as he shifted the tray onto one arm, reaching out for her. She jumped just out of reach with a squeak, then laughed as the cups on the tray toppled over causing him to steady it with both hands. "Shit, how do you carry these around without spilling everything?"

"It helps that I don't go around trying to grab people," she said as she pulled the key from the lock and opened the door. "Can you make it to the kitchen?" He stopped righting the cups and leveled his eyes on her in a cool gaze as she raised her basket on one finger. "Or do you want to switch?"

* * *

He examined the waster, smirking when he saw the tell-tale scuffs on the end where she always let it hit the ground when she was exhausted. He put it under his arm, then collected the one he liked to use. Training on the beach sounded like an excellent idea to him. These worn hunks of wood wouldn't be missed.

His eyes wandered to the dulled steel swords.  _Perhaps..._

With the two wasters under his arm, he picked up a steel sword to test the edge with one of his fingers. She was proficient enough to start practicing with steel, though he suspected she might resist the idea. What they'd done so far was child's play. It was time to see if she could be a little more  _aggressive_. He smiled to himself, returning the wasters to the rack and reaching for another sword.

"What are you doing?"

Teldryn turned his head to see Modyn standing with his arms crossed, eyeing him with scrutiny.

"I'm borrowing these," he replied, picking up the sword and looking it over. "Not like you're going to be using them."

"You got me there," the captain groused as he leaned against the wall. "And I certainly wouldn't want you to miss any  _training_  sessions with Vanya."

Teldryn stopped examining the sword and slid his eyes to Modyn, whose grin was far too smug. He rolled his eyes. "Is it written on my fucking forehead or did Dreyla awaken in the night with a sudden revelation?"

"It's a small town, Teldryn," Modyn said flatly, then added with a shrug, "And Dreyla said Niyya told her."

"Of course she did," he replied sourly. It was a wonder Glover kept any secrets with that sieve of a woman around. He put the sword down and picked up another.

"Took you long enough," Modyn said with a smirk.

Teldryn snorted a laugh. "You're one to talk."

Just then, Nathala came breezing out from the barracks but stopped short when she spotted Teldryn. She flexed her fingers around her staff as she quickly glanced between the two men, then took off across the yard toward the guar.

Modyn cast an inquisitive eye toward Teldryn who only shrugged, raising his eyebrows. "Strange," he said innocently as they both looked to the girl who was glaring at them rather magnificently.

The captain pinched his brow with his fingers. "I don't even want to know, Teldryn. Get out of here before you cause me any trouble."

He gazed over the guar, then back to the captain. He sniffed conspicuously. "Gladly," he said as he tucked the swords under his arm and turned away, leaving Modyn shaking his head.

* * *

Vanya sat on her bed scanning the pages of her alchemy book, running the tip of her lockpick back and forth over her lips.  _Thistle and cotton root tea.._ _._

Going by the illustrations, she was pretty sure she had seen both of those herbs among the bundles that Milore received periodically from the mainland. She breathed a small sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to ask around. By her age, she should know better than to behave so recklessly.

A light rap at her door got her attention and she saw Geldis entering the room, a small bag in his hand. "Bringing your pay for the week," he said as he approached and set it on her nightstand.

"Thanks. Oh, you know what," she said as she sat up, reaching for the bag." I owe you some money for the, uh.." She cleared her throat. "...things I took last night."

"Ah," he said, watching her count out coins. She set them in his palm with a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you." He closed his fingers around the coins then turned hesitantly to leave. After a few steps, he groaned as he turned back around. "Vanya, I..." he stopped, his mouth opening and closing as she waited uncomfortably, feeling a little like a child about to be scolded. He sighed, his face almost pained as he looked at her. "Just don't get hurt, alright?"

He was worried. Sweet, sweet man. She looked at him warmly as she got up. "Geldis..."

He put his hands up. "I know you're a grown woman and I like Teldryn," he assured, widening his gesture before dropping his arms. "It's just...the other day...when you were upset." His brow furrowed deeply. "It killed me."

_Poor Geldis._  She looked at the floor and swallowed, wishing she could have controlled her emotions more to not cause him so much concern. "There was a lot going on that day," she said as she scratched behind her ear. "I was upset with myself as much as him, but it's all worked out now." She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze, meeting his eyes. "There's nothing to worry about, okay?"

"If you say so," he said, his gaze as unconvinced as his words.

"I do," she replied confidently as she pulled him into a hug, smiling into his shoulder as he returned it tightly. She kissed him on the cheek as she pulled away. "Now, I'm going to run a quick errand and I'll be back to help with supper."

He nodded, still looking uneasy but said no more as she left the room.

* * *

Milore was outside finishing up a transaction with a customer when Vanya approached.

"Vanya, I missed you yesterday," the dunmer said brightly as she lifted a small vial of red liquid from her ingredient chest. She turned to the waiting young man who had a very uncomfortable looking rash spanning his face and neck and handed him the potion, instructing, "Drink all of this and if you are not better by morning come and see me again."

He scratched his cheek and took the vial, muttering something that sounded vaguely like a thanks before hurrying away. Milore grimaced a little before turning her attention back to Vanya. "So how are you, dear?"

"Good," she said a little too enthusiastically. "I'm actually looking to buy something, um..." She toyed with the edges of her tunic. "Do you have any thistle or cotton root?"

Milore's eyes widened as she regarded Vanya curiously. "I do, in fact." She turned to her chest and opened one of the larger compartments, pulling out a small sachet. "I might sell more of this than anything else with all you young people around," she said, holding it out with a twinkle in her eye.

Vanya pursed her lips to hide her grin, taking the sachet. "Thank you, Milore. What do I owe you?"

"For you, nothing." The dunmer waved dismissively."Just take it." Vanya opened her mouth to object, but Milore spoke over her. "Tomorrow I'll show you how to make a magicka potion, alright?"

Vanya sighed as she gave in, nodding in agreement. Another customer approached so she took her leave. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

She set his plate in front of him and was not surprised in the least when he caught her wrist. Teldryn held her gaze as he ran his hand down to her fingers, tugging at her pinky.

"You still have something of mine," he said.

She knit her brow.

"My room key?" he clarified. "You never gave it back this morning."

She gasped and pulled her hand away, slapping it to her pocket where she had put the key after locking the door. "Oh my God! Why didn't you say something? I didn't even think about it!"

He shrugged. "I didn't need to go in there. And I knew where it was."

She tutted as she handed the key over. "Still..."

The key flipped lightly between his fingers as he smirked. "I can leave the door unlocked."

She raised an eyebrow. "Those linens do need changing."

"Can I watch?" he asked as he tucked the key away.

She felt her cheeks redden as she laughed, biting her lip as a boyish grin spread on his face. "Better yet," she said. " _You_  can do it."

His smile faltered as he squinted doubtfully. "That's not better."

"No?" she purred as she leaned on the table. "Just think how pleased I'll be to come in to see a ready-made bed after a long night of work."

A playful glimmer shone in his eyes, though he still looked unconvinced.

She straightened back up. "So I'll bring you some fresh linens after you're done eating?" He sighed as he picked up his fork, which she took as agreement and turned away with a smug grin.


	43. A Provocative Mouth

She ran her fingers along the arm that spanned her chest as she opened her eyes, following the line of his arm up to his shoulder, then back down while her vision adjusted to the darkness. She could barely make out his handsome features, his slow breaths whispering across the top of her shoulder as she looked at him, close enough she could kiss his fine lips if she moved just a little.

Instead, she pried his arm away and swung her legs over the bed, her hand blindly searching for a flint on the nightstand out of habit before she remembered he didn't have one.

"Teldryn," she said gently, reaching back to pat his upper arm. He groaned noncommittally. "Give me a light."

He pressed his face into his pillow as he tossed a ball of light into the air. She got up, valiantly ignoring the haphazardly tucked edges of the sheets, and made for her clothing to change from her nightgown. Over the last couple of weeks, she'd given up trying to get the stubborn man to tuck the sheets the proper way since his only response was to tell her she was quite welcome to do it herself. Her hope that his technique would improve through repetition did not seem to be panning out. Yet.

Once dressed, she picked up her copy of the room key- Teldryn had Glover make one after a few days of having to get up and lock the door after her- and made her way to the bed. She let herself fall heavily onto her hands so that she was hovering over him, grinning as he scowled at the way the bed shook when she landed.

"See you in a bit," she said before pressing a kiss to his cheek then pushing off the bed with more force than necessary, noticing the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth before she turned away. Before she made it to the door the room went dark as he extinguished the light.

She tutted as she felt for the door handle. "Rude," she scolded before letting herself out.

* * *

The tide was low on the beach, the dull drone of the rolling waves interrupted by the occasional clang of steel on steel as he mimicked attacks for Vanya to counter. He was not moving anywhere near full speed and being careful as she lacked any armor, his intention to leave openings for her to retaliate so he could instruct her further.

Teldryn jabbed the blunted steel sword toward her midsection and she dodged to the side as she parried with her own, bringing the dulled point of the dagger in her other hand up to his exposed side, though she put no force behind it.

"Good," he said. "That can work well for armor like mine but for someone in steel you will want to aim higher." He lifted her wrist, aiming the dagger at his neck. "You may want to do that anyway. Opening the throat is effective regardless of armor."

She tugged her hand down with a grimace. "Gross," she said as she stepped away, getting back into position. He ran his tongue over his teeth in frustration, unsure how to address this recurring problem. Learning proper technique came easily for her, but it was evident that it was no more than that in her mind. Hitting only a ward or a training dummy would not teach her the reality of fighting another person.

He readied himself to begin again, studying her closely, her eyes focused and wary. He struck out with a feint to her left, twirling the sword away from hers as she twisted her body to block leaving her open for him to sweep the blade up across her belly, a move with which he'd opened up many a reaver. His blade was met with her dagger as she hopped away from his reach, already assuming a defensive position. He swelled with pride as he inched closer. Though he had taught her much, she had an intuition that was all her own. She needed only to hone it, to refine her movements; she would be exceptional.

That is, if he could break this pattern she had developed. The closer he got, the further she backed away, always trying to avoid countering his attacks in favor of getting out of reach. That kind of hesitance made the difference between life and death, and he'd told her that many times. A creeping discomfort began to take hold in him as they continued. It would take more than words to get through to her.

He stepped forward and crossed, not waiting to strike back after her parry, spinning into a back-swing after she parried again. Her eyes widened as she tried to block, fortunately choosing to duck as her sword was knocked down easily, though she still kept her grip. Had it been anyone but Vanya and this a sparring match he would have kicked them to the ground, but he was not looking to win. She had barely recovered when he struck again and she dodged clumsily.

"Teldryn! Wha-" her voice cut off as she brought up her sword to fend him off.

"Fight back," he commanded, pressing her steadily, keeping her moving.

"I can't!" she cried, side-stepping another attack.

"Just try." He was leaving her plenty of opportunities, if she would only take them.

She blocked a downstroke, the force of it causing her to stumble backward, losing her footing. She fell on her back, dropping her sword though she kept hold of her dagger. This was her chance.

He dove toward her and she raised her arms to cover her face as he plunged his sword into the ash beside her. On his knees over her he grasped the hand that held the dagger, revealing her astonished expression as he pressed the tip under his chin.

"This," he said sharply. "Kick at me as I fall on you, kick the sword arm, roll away, do  _something._ "

She only laid there, breathing heavily, her grip on the dagger loosening as she stared up at him, not with the anger he'd been trying to stir, but something far worse. Fear. It made him want to drive the dagger under his chin up to the hilt.

He dropped her hand and rolled away to sit next to her, squeezing his eyes shut as he rubbed his face. "Gods  _damn it_ , this isn't going to work."

* * *

 _What is his problem?_  His attack had escalated out of nowhere, his expression so severe she'd forgotten what to do. He was too fast. It seemed she had only blinked and she was on the ground under him. She dropped the dagger from her shaking hand and sat up, frowning at the sword he'd stabbed into the ground.

"What's not going to work?" she asked, a bit breathless.

He sighed heavily, the fingers of one hand massaging his eyes. "Whatever it is I'm trying to do."

"And what exactly is that, if you don't mind letting me in on it?" she said acidly, not appreciating the defeat in his voice. "I'm doing everything you tell me to do. Why are you getting so pissed?"

"Not everything," he replied as he got to his feet, turning to offer his hand. She took and he pulled her up as he continued, "How many times have I told you to commit to your attacks, Vanya? Your blades are blunted, I'm armored. This is all for naught if you won't follow through when it counts."

She tried to ignore the prick at the back of her eyes at his harsh tone. She was trying her best. She wanted to do it, to be strong, but it was  _hard._

He stepped back, gesturing to himself. "Don't think of me as  _me_  when you do it. You're fending off someone who means to harm you, to take advantage of you."

She shook her head, horrified. "I- I can't."

"You won't, you mean."

"Don't tell me what I mean," she spat.

"Fine," he said dismissively, raising a finger between them. "but I won't always be here and you must understand that you can look to no one but yourself for your safety. What are you willing to do to keep your life?"

She inhaled sharply, blinking back tears.  _Don't cry_

"Don't you ever question what I would do to keep my life, Teldryn," she hissed shakily.  _Don't cry._  "You don't know..." Her voice faltered as shameful tears slipped down her cheeks. " _anything_  about what I've had to do."

* * *

"Vanya..." His anger was torn apart at the sight of her quivering lips, the tears that quickly ran over them prompting him to reach for her as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She came easily into his arms, folding against his chest. His guilt for making her cry overwhelmed him and he selfishly sought to comfort himself for his own stupidity as he held her. "Forgive me," he said into her hair.

She said nothing, not moving except for the occasional shuddering breath and he chided himself for being so thoughtless. He had wanted to provoke her, to make her want to hurt him but he knew she didn't work that way. There was a rage in her, he had seen it before, raw and primal; but to tap into it pained her such that she held it back. Whatever it would take to release it, he didn't want to do with his own hand. He couldn't.

He raised her chin up in his fingers and the plaintive look on her face was unacceptable to him. "I misspoke before," he said, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "Think not what you would do to merely keep your life, that is beneath you." She knit her brow, the way her eyes searched his face rekindling his frustration. "You can stand above those who wish you harm," he pressed. "Defend your life,  _take_  theirs for daring to even look at you as though they deserve any privilege."

She pulled her chin from his hand, turning her head and he fought the urge to force her to face him again. Why did she not understand? He took a deep breath and pulled her tighter to himself, looking out over the discarded weapons. He would do it all for her if he could- gods, he would- but it was foolish to think he would always be near enough to do so. He had to make sure she could stand on her own.

"Khes'yi," he said, his foreign tongue causing her to look up at him again. "Don't give up. I am the one who is failing you." She started to shake her head but he insisted, "Don't deny it. I am the teacher here, if we're having a problem that is on me."

She swallowed and nodded, seeming to accept his statement and his relief turned to surprise when she proceeded to wipe her face with his cowl. He laughed, tilting his head back. "Do help yourself," he said as he looked down at her sheepish grin. "I only ask that you don't blow your nose."

She laughed then, the sound lightening his heart and he couldn't stop himself from planting kisses along the side of her face toward her ear, heading for the place he knew would draw a satisfying squeal.

* * *

"Ah!" she cried, flinching away as his lips tickled under her ear. "Quit that!" She wriggled from his grasp, stepping back and doing her best to glare at his smug face. A smug face that moments ago was so sincere, saying things to her that he knew nothing about. She turned away, heading for the weapons she'd dropped, the panic she'd felt at the time nearly forgotten, replaced with a slight dread over a word she did not recognize. A name, an endearment spoken with a tenderness she had known once before.

"What did that mean?" she asked as she slid the blunted dagger into the sheath on her waist. "What you called me?"

He yanked his sword from the ash, giving it a twirl as he smirked. "Khes'yi," he said, stepping toward her, reaching the point of the blade around her waist to nudge her closer, the flat of it sliding up her back until she was again pressed to him. "It means you are precious to me." Her breaths were shallow as he leaned in. "My jewel."

His kiss was soft and chaste, a contrast to the chitin plate against her chest and the steel against her back. She let her sword fall back to the ground, reaching up to clasp her arms around his neck and the blade that pinned her to him was replaced with his hands. It was a perilous path that she'd set them on, one which she could not see the end but each second in his embrace pushed the inevitable further from her mind. She didn't know where they were going, or what she was doing but she knew one thing for certain; she wanted to be what he saw, she wanted to be everything he wanted, she wanted to  _please_  him.

She dropped her arms and began searching for the straps of his waist plate. He caught her hands, breaking their kiss.

"Vanya, here?" he asked, sounding more surprised than hesitant and she licked her lips, freeing her hands to continue tugging at his armor.

"Afraid to be caught with your pants down?" She quirked her brow up at him as he stood still for a moment, beginning to understand her intention.

* * *

"Mephala," he swore as he grabbed her shoulders, pulling her over to a large boulder that shielded them from the path. He leaned his back against the rock, batting her hands away to make quick work of throwing off his waist plate. She laughed as she dropped to her knees, looking up at him as she waited for him to undo his breeches and he thought the breeze might be enough to make him come as he was revealed to her.

He had to close his eyes as her gentle fingers slid over his shaft, the sight of her parted lips nearing his head liable to make this a mournfully short encounter. He twitched as the warmth of her mouth enclosed him, sliding down until she had wetted his entire length and he wound a hand into her hair, calling upon a great amount of willpower to resist the urge to fuck her throat. She drew her lips back up, her hand following with a firm grip and she worked the two together, her explorative tongue drawing a groan from him. His head tipped back against the rock losing himself in the bliss of her wicked mouth, he felt her free hand hanging onto his armor, heard her breathing through her nose and when he dared to look down, she flicked her gaze up through her lashes pushing him over the edge as their eyes met. His hand tightened in her hair as he released a labored breath and she moaned, taking him in further as he thrust his seed into her mouth.

Still leaning against the boulder, he watched with near reverence as she got to her feet, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. When she looked at him with that peculiarly mischievous coy expression that only she could manage, he chuckled hoarsely, finally gaining the wherewithal to right his breeches and armor.

"I can honestly say I never know what to expect from you."

Her pink cheeks turned a shade darker as she turned to head back to the swords once again, saying, "Sometimes I feel the same way."


	44. Shadows of the Past

A small flame flickered in his palm and he took a breath as he encircled his other hand over it, pouring his energy until the flame grew to a ball that encased his hands up to his wrists. Slowly, he spread his arms apart, pushing the flame down to the ground in front of him.  _Now for the hard part._ Ignoring the dull ache from his earlier attempts, he grit his teeth as he boosted the flame to spread around him, encircling his feet and swirling upward. It was nearly complete, if he could just close the orb of fire.  _Just a little more._

A sharp twinge in his head prompted him to let go, the flames extinguishing as he groaned in frustration. He picked up his bottle of magicka potion, popping off the cork with his thumb and sucked down the remainder of the liquid barely tasting it. It was a testament to Vanya's talent since most magicka potions left him with a sour film on his tongue. He tapped the empty bottle against his palm as he looked out over the water, waiting for his fatigue to lessen.

This was a different style of magic than he was used to. To maintain the flame rather than charge it and release took so much out of him, though he'd gotten much better at managing the flow of his magicka. Still, it could not be a simple matter of not having a large enough pool. He felt that he was missing something vital, though he'd read through the spellbook multiple times searching for the answer to no avail.

His eyes roamed toward the boulder that now evoked a most pleasant memory. Her magicka, or lack thereof, was his other concern and a far more complicated matter that was beyond him. The mages at the College of Winterhold might be able to shed light on her situation, though he doubted she would be willing to subject herself to their scrutiny. There was one wizard he knew of, closer to home, who would likely be able to help with both of his current struggles.

He quickly dismissed the idea. A Telvanni would not deign to instruct him on what would be seen as a trivial spell and though Teldryn was quite sure the great wizard would be intrigued by Vanya, he had no desire to offer her up as an experiment. No, they could not go to Neloth.

Feeling recovered, he rekindled the flame in his hand to try again. Futile as it seemed, he had at least gained better control through his efforts. As for Vanya, he had a more immediate issue to deal with in her training. The flames spread out in front of him once again and he decided that once he was exhausted he'd pay a visit to Modyn.

* * *

Teldryn walked down the hall in Morvayn Manor coming to a stop in front of Modyn's office. He rapped on the door, sighing as he waited for a response.

"Come in."

Modyn was seated at his desk flipping through a few missives. He looked up, watching as Teldryn entered and fell into the seat opposite him. "And what do you need?"

Teldryn ran his tongue over his teeth before answering, "I have a problem."

The captain's brow quirked up. "Only one?" Teldryn gave him a withering look which drew a chuckle as he continued, "Let me guess. Your problem starts with a 'V' and ends with 'anya'."

"I'm stuck on her training," Teldryn said. "She's doing very well, but we've come to an impasse." He stopped to consider how to explain without oversharing as Modyn narrowed his eyes curiously. "We...can't really spar. She won't hit me."

Modyn shrugged, stating simply, "A few good whacks with the flat of your blade should provoke her well enough."

"Eeeehhh..." Teldryn squinted, shaking his head. "It's not that simple."

"It's precisely that simple, unless..." Modyn knit his brow and blinked a couple of times, then snorted. "Sheogorath's beard," he said. "You can't hit her either." He laughed, leaning back in his chair with an annoyingly pleased sigh. "If only you could see how helpless you look."

Teldryn squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his face. Helpless. It was the maddening truth. He was mismanaging her training enough being so easy on her, add to that his comparative rough handling of her feelings and he was truly doing her a monumental disservice.

"So are you going to help me, or what?" he said irritably, interrupting Modyn's enjoyment at his predicament. "What can I do?"

The captain sobered a little, leaning forward on his desk as he put his hands together, thinking. "I suppose you don't want her to spar with anyone else?"

"Definitely not."

Modyn hummed as Teldryn sighed in frustration. The very thought of watching someone else give her bruises was enough to raise his hackles, not to mention the fact he'd likely have to  _pay_  them for it. He slumped further into the chair, leaning his head in his hand at the absurdity of the task he had set for himself. To teach her to fight while keeping her from getting hurt in the process? He could not blame Modyn for laughing at him, as much as it grated. He was being a fool.

Still, he wanted- no,  _needed_  her to be able to defend herself and without the fallback of magic, they had no other options.

Modyn's chuckle again reached his ears and Teldryn pulled his hand from his face, seeing the older man grinning with a gleam in his eye that spoke of calling a distant memory. "I remember," the captain began as he settled back in his chair again. "when you were probably fifteen, I was helping your father repair the wall in the courtyard and you came tearing out of the house, your mother shooting lightning at your feet." He laughed to himself for a moment. "You were supposed to be reading history and instead you read a book on how to summon a scamp."

Teldryn sat up then, smirking. "Yes! And I couldn't control it and it wrecked the room. Shit, she got me with one of those bolts." He rubbed his calf. "That fucking hurt."

"I still remember your screaming." Modyn was in a fit now and it made Teldryn laugh along until he realized where Modyn was going with this memory.  _That's it!_

Modyn noticed his face change and asked through tears, "You think you could control a scamp these days?"

"It's perfect," Teldryn said, clapping his hands together in triumph as he stood up. Before he could leave, Modyn held up a hand.

"Wait just a minute." The captain motioned for him to sit again. "This is rather good timing, I was going to come find you later." Teldryn sat down as he dug into the pile of papers in front of him, sighing away the last of his mirth. "I have a missive here for you..." he said as he plucked one out, tossing it across the desk. "From your mother."

Teldryn slid the parchment slowly off the table, eyeing Modyn curiously. "Why would she send  _you_  a missive meant for me?"

"It came attached to her response to a missive I sent to her."

Teldryn waited for him to continue, but he only sat there looking like he was sucking on hackle-lo leaf. "Well, spit it out," Teldryn said impatiently.

"We invited her to the wedding ceremony," he clipped out, lowering his chin with a pointed look. "She's coming."

 _Shit._ Teldryn tore his eyes from the captain and stared at the wax seal on the missive, the tips of his ears burning.  _Alma..._

"How long has it been since you saw her?"

"Thirty-two years," he replied without thinking. He'd been tempted to return, but each time he imagined her still in that same spot in the courtyard where he'd left her, waiting as her carefully tended garden withered. He could hear her voice, the words that had nearly brought him to tears. 'I wondered when this day would come.'

The captain blew air through his pursed lips. "Been longer for me." Of that fact, Teldryn was well aware. Though his anger had lessened with maturity, it had left a bitter taste in his mouth toward the man he had grown up to consider a brother. Modyn's  _choice_  to come to Raven Rock had ultimately cost them both, but Teldryn could argue that it had cost him more.

Teldryn sniffed, straightening up in his chair, banishing old and tired woes from his mind. A waste of time to think on. His face lit up with a sudden realization. If his mother was on her way, that meant Modyn's parents surely would be, too.

"Is  _The Armiger_  coming?" he asked.

"He is," Modyn said stiffly, scratching his forehead. "At least that's what alma'yi says. It remains to be seen if he does, or if he'll speak to me."

"Now that Raven Rock is the new Caldera perhaps he's seen the wisdom in your stubbornness."

Modyn huffed, "More like dumb luck."

"Does it matter?" Teldryn replied, arching his brow.

"To some," the captain said sourly, pulling up another missive between two fingers. "It seems some of the Redoran Council has seen fit to join the party as well, to inspect our progress." He flicked the parchment away and it flipped behind him to the floor. "As if I don't have enough to worry about. At least the alit and her guar will be out of the training yard by then."

Teldryn was very glad the only thing he had to concern himself with among all this mess was the missive in his hand. He stood up with an exaggerated groan. "I think Windhelm is sounding good right about now."

The captain snapped his dark eyes up, his elbow slamming onto the desk as he pointed sharply. "Don't you dare leave me here with all of them, Teldryn."

"Can't be helped. Got called away on urgent business," he replied smoothly.

"If you step foot off this island I will hunt you down and drag you back here by your ears, you little rat." The older man's face was tight as he leaned heavily on his arm and Teldryn cracked, laughing merrily.

"I'm not going anywhere. But don't think I'm fooled," he said, pointing in return. "You only want me here to draw everyone's ire away from you."

Modyn's severe expression softened, the corner of his mouth twitching. "Do you really think so little of me?"

"Yes," Teldryn said emphatically as he turned to leave once again.

"You're welcome for solving your problem, by the way," Modyn called after him.

"Fuck off."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In response to my reader who reviewed on FFnet, if you're reading here still: Thanks for the review, first off! Guar are just so adorable! I hope to be able to include them a little more later, we'll see how that all shapes up. I'm having a ton of fun exploring(and making up, let's be honest) Dunmer culture so I'm glad you are enjoying it, too! ^.^


	45. Redoran Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of me bull-shitting with Dunmer culture/Dunmeri in this chapter so...enjoy! :P

"Thank you, Fethis," Vanya said as he handed over her purchases wrapped in cloth. She glanced around him before asking, "Is Dreyla at the house?"

"Yes," the merchant sighed. "She went to check in on the builders. She should be back fairly soon."

Vanya hummed thoughtfully, then smiled. "I'll see you later."

"See you," he replied as she turned away. She stopped short when she nearly collided with a couple of children that were running in circles around the well. Their trilling laughter made her giggle as she walked through the market, the sound still taking some getting used to. There was quite a bit of construction going on and a few families had moved to town. One particularly rich family from Morrowind bought the manor that had sat empty since the whole Severin affair. Dreyla's new home was situated along the coast near the edge of town, and Vanya had passed it by many times but never stopped for a closer look. Now that it was almost finished and Dreyla was there at the moment, it made for the perfect opportunity to snoop a little.

As she approached, Dreyla was speaking with Neetranaza and despite the dunmer's small stature, especially compared to the argonian, she seemed to have developed a far more commanding presence. From the much finer clothing to the way she carried herself with elegant gestures, she was definitely going to suit her position as a captain's wife.

"You may go, thank you for your time," she said in dismissal to the argonian. He nodded, throwing a quick glance at Vanya before turning to leave prompting Dreyla to look her way.

"Oh! So good to see you, Vanya!" Dreyla said, reaching out to take her arm. "It's been a while since we've really talked."

"I know, you have your hands full though," she replied as she looked up at the house, which was being built of the same gray stone as Morvayn manor except it was a bit smaller and not quite as plain. There wasn't a whole lot to be done for the muted color or lack of windows- all the rooms would fill with ash otherwise- but it had a cute turret on one side, the entryway was recessed into a spacious covered porch and there was a veranda on the backside that looked out over the water. "It's really going to be beautiful."

Dreyla sighed as she looked up at the house and Vanya noticed the golden barrette in her hair, a large ruby in the center. "It is a pity about the view though. Nothing like waking up to the dock and the Bulwark outside my bedroom door every morning. But..." She stretched her free hand out, sweeping it in front of her showily. "Father says he will import dragons-tongue from skyrim to set by the door. That will liven things up a bit. Hopefully, that ugly wall will do its job so the ash won't choke them out."

Vanya barely heard what she said, her eyes drawn to the sparkling on her wrist. "That bracelet! It's gorgeous."

"You like it? Modyn commissioned it from Morrowind," she said proudly, holding her wrist out and Vanya looked over the golden cuff, covered in ornate filigree that surrounded a stylized, ruby- encrusted shalk, the Redoran symbol she'd originally identified as a scarab."I only just received it a couple of days ago." The dunmer admired it a moment longer before clasping her hands together, with a dreamy expression. "Oh, Vanya, you should  _see_  our earrings!"

 _Good God._  "Earrings?" she repeated, almost exasperated by the sheer amount of opulence. She glanced quickly at Dreyla's neck, surprised when she did not see another dazzling adornment. "Wait,  _our_?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's dunmer tradition wear an earring instead of a...well.." Dreyla wiggled her fingers. "A  _ring_  ring."

Vanya hummed to herself, rubbing her ring finger absently, deciding that she was now going to inspect every married couple's ears.

"My headdress and our robes won't arrive until the next ship comes," Dreyla continued. "Bringing Modyn's parents."

The sudden tension in her voice caused Vanya to look at her face, which was creased with anxiety. "Don't worry, they will love you," Vanya assured. "You are the picture of Redoran glory."

"I don't know. He and his father haven't exactly been on good terms. From what I've heard they are so different. His father was a Buoyant Armiger." Vanya feigned a sympathetic expression at the gravity in Dreyla's voice, despite having no clue what she meant. "After the mine dried up, his father wanted him to relocate. Said he was wasting his abilities." She sounded more and more worried the more she spoke. "There's no  _glory_  in being the captain of the guard in a dead town!" The poor woman was nearly gasping now. "Vanya, what if they blame  _me_  for him staying?

"Oh, come on." Vanya grasped Dreyla's shoulder, giving her a shake. "Look around, the town is not dead anymore. Besides, whatever they think, you just have to deal with them for a little while and then they'll go home."

Dreyla took a breath, still looking uncertain. "I guess so. Thanks," she said with a sheepish smile. "You always know what to say."

Vanya returned her smile, then looked back toward the house noticing that all the argonians were among the builders. They must have been happy to get out of the stale mine. She narrowed her eyes. There were the three she knew, and now an unknown fourth who she had not noticed at first since his coloring nearly matched the beige surroundings. She wasn't sure if it was the backdrop of the water affecting her perception but he looked  _massive_.

"You know," Dreyla interrupted her thoughts. "Teldryn's mother is coming."

She felt as though a rock dropped into her stomach.  _His mother?_  She slid her eyes to the dunmer. "Only his mother?" The rock in her stomach turned to lead at Dreyla's somber expression.

"His father is dead. Killed," she said, casting a furtive glance toward the workers. "in some military excursion, Modyn says. Neither of them talks about it."

* * *

Teldryn laid lazily across his bed, leaning against the wall, still groggy from the much-needed nap following his exhausting morning.  _She's coming here. Sun-Alma_.

His eyes slid to the missive on his side table that he had yet to read, his guilt eating at him for not sending one first. He hadn't written her last year at all, but he'd been a little busy. He heaved a sigh that ended with a groan as he leaned forward to retrieve the missive, sitting back against the wall eyeing his name written in Daedric lettering. He broke the seal and unfolded the parchment, reverting his mind to Dunmeri as he began to read.

 _Sun-Julekil'yi,_  [My dear son]

 _Ohn bahr shoka'ath hadik am po'ulak_  [You did not write me all of last year.]

He snorted.

_Os harihir nulfi'ag ohn errat eri Modyn bahr muhri'ath et shoul'ud en home'ag am muhrjuli'ohm. Os leyshe'ag ohn humore'ag as baldejuhn am as elevire'ag Akajuhn. Os gan'binthi de leyshakam lih itam'ohm enhi as ekilam en shoviya'oam ouahbihn. Dayn edur hadarshakam sut medelal enhi albu'maltisk. Muhri nivise'ag, as Molhejuhn ald amughehar ohn de amaldad ot leyr-toshok._

[I might have thought you lost had Modyn not been thoughtful enough to inform me of your wellbeing. I have heard you took up in the service of the so-called Dragonborn. How eager I am to hear of your exploits with the man and of his rumored power. Dayn has been pestering me insufferably for details. Be warned, the old Armiger may detain you to compose a poem.]

Teldryn hummed thoughtfully. That could be very entertaining, actually.

_Sho'vohr Ikala'yi muhrse'ag juli hi'ulak en as nik'bosara adur bar as balmarhiin khurdruhn. Signi, Os duhrinich ohn enhi homadiif devehr bulorghel'yi ku'elm Os talje ohn. Dahrdiyir, Ost bahris shoyu'ag muhriar as aln'mer yaglakam prokid ohn, barudag ist ohn adur. Gah'almese Daedra alsyn ouanshad sut julan'ohm._

[My horn lilies came in well this year and the bittergreen vines have finally grown over the courtyard walls. Alas, I can bore you with tales from my garden when I see you. I must say, I never thought I'd be the one coming to visit you, wanderer that you are. I beseech the gods daily to intercede for your benefit.]

_Hadik adur mol'ouagif, daelkhun'yi, en osuhn bahniyir en proki malhorul'iam enhi as amer'kon am ganmer'iam._

[We are all tested, my heart, and we must stand and face our trials with the courage of our ancestors.]

_Telshahr Os talje ohn,_

[Until I see you,]

 _Daelhkalma'ohm_  [Your loving mother]

He rolled his head back against the wall, refolding the parchment, smoothing the creases between his fingers as her closing statement lingered in his head. It was a familiar refrain that he would normally read over without a second thought, a sentiment so ingrained he could not remember the first time he'd heard it. It was as if he had been born knowing it.

_Hadik adur mol'ouagif._

_We are all tested._

To what end? He scooted to the edge of the bed, opening the drawer of the side table and deposited the missive inside. How many courageous ancestors had lost their lives upholding misguided virtues, enduring trials thrust upon them by those who meant to collect the reward while cajoling bereaved families with honeyed words about duty and honor?

He slammed the drawer shut.  _Fuck them._

He heard the click of the lock and he ran his hands over his face like the action could rub his thoughts away. The door opened and Vanya walked in with her basket on her arm, the smile on her face piercing the storm of his feelings like a ray of aetherial light. She crossed the room to set the basket on the table then pulled a new bottle of magicka potion from the basket, waving it at him.

"You look like you need this."

"Not right now," he replied with a shake of his head.

She set the bottle on the table then tutted loudly as she picked up the empty bottle from the morning. "Teldryn," she put a hand on her hip as she held the bottle out. "You lost the cork again."

He only smirked, reaching out his hand to beckon her over.

She replaced the bottle and sauntered toward him. "You're hopeless," she said as she pushed him down on the bed, clambering on top. He pulled her close, rolling them over.

"You have no idea," he said as he nudged her hair away from her neck with his nose to make way for his mouth, finding solace in the rise and fall of her chest under him and her quickening breaths against his ear.

"I have some idea," she purred, her hands pressing firmly down his back, returning to his shoulders leaving a warm trail of relief in their wake. He kissed down the contours of her neck, feeling the vibration of her voice as she continued, "So what are we doing tomorrow? Sleeping in?"

He pushed himself up to lean on one elbow, sliding his other hand under her tunic to tease his fingers along the waistband of her breeches. "Sleeping in sounds good." Her eyes were dark with desire as he loosened her laces, diving his fingers under the fabric. "And then we need to get you fitted for armor."

Her inquisitive look melted away as he dipped into the slickness of her sex, her legs parting as her arms curled around his shoulders. "Ah- armor?" she murmured between the small gasps and minute twitches of her pretty features as he pleasured her.

"Mmhmm." He dove deeper into her, quickening the pace and she rolled her hips in tandem to his movements, her grip on him tightening.

"F-for what?" she managed to breathe out.

"I'll just have to show you," he said in her ear, savoring the shiver that traveled down her body as he continued to work her with his fingers. His efforts were rewarded by the exquisitely tortured expression on her face as a rush of heat spread into his palm, his hand soaked as he coaxed her body into panting ecstasy.

Once she recovered, she searched his face with a piercing gaze as he brought his hand up to rest on her stomach. "Keeping secrets, are we?"

Something told him she was not referring to the armor and before he could reply she pulled him down, rolling back on top of him with a smirk that promised some of his very favorite things. His mind was wiped of everything but the press of her curves against him as she leaned down, whispering against his lips. "So mysterious."


	46. Childish Games

"Alit..." The dunmer boy patted the top of Vanya's head as she sat on the ground. "Alit..." He patted the black hair of the smaller dunmer boy next to her, then the imperial boy, a bosmer girl, then he was back to Vanya, tapping her head for the third time. The little one next to her whipped around before he could be patted again. "Pick already, Tiram!"

Tiram paused momentarily before a cheeky grin spread on his face and he slapped the heel of his hand against the other boy's forehead. "Kagouti!" he cried as he broke into a run. Vanya laughed as the boy recovered and got to his feet hastily, trying to catch up to the older one around the circle. Tiram slid into the spot next to her. "You're it, Llero!"

Llero huffed then readied himself to begin, casting a glance toward Vanya. She pretended not to notice, stealthily preparing to get up as he made his way around. So far he'd picked her every time and up to this point, she'd let him get away. She grinned, looking to where Teldryn sat near Glover's forge watching the game with amusement as he smoked. His brow quirked up when their eyes met.

She felt a tap on her head. "Kagouti!" She hopped up in a flash, letting him gain a few steps on her before darting forward to catch him around the chest. He squealed as she hefted him up into her arms. "Got you this time!" she cried, swaying him back and forth a couple of times before setting his feet back on the ground, his infectious giggling making her laugh. He hopped away like a kangaroo as the older boy stood up, pointing at him. "You have to be it again, Llero!" The little one only continued hopping around, yelling, "Alit! Alit! Alit!"

Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Teldryn. He glanced briefly at the children than gestured his head toward the forge. "Glover is ready for you."

"Alright, kiddos, I have to go."

Tiram was trying to corral Llero back to the group and the imperial boy jumped up, grabbing her hand. "Can you play with us tomorrow?"

"Oh..." she began as he looked up at her hopefully through green eyes that were framed with wild, sandy-colored hair. Before she could say anything the girl interrupted, holding up a cloth doll with a bow and arrow made of twigs tied to its arm.

"This is Karwin, she's a huntress like my ma!" she said proudly, rising to her toes to show Teldryn, her turquoise eyes sparkling brightly against bronze skin that nearly matched the color of her tight ponytail. Vanya bit back a smile at his blank expression as he looked down at the girl, waiting to see what he would do.

"Antony! Beniel!" Tiram yelled from across the market. "Last one over is a blighted scrib!" The kids forgot all about them as they took off, shoving each other to get ahead and avoid the horrible fate that Tiram had decreed.

Vanya gave an exaggerated sigh of relief as she turned toward the forge, casting a sidelong glance at Teldryn. "That was close."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he followed her.

"You almost had to be sweet."

He snorted and rolled his eyes, nudging her forward under the awning.

"Alright, Vanya. Let's see if this fits ya," Glover said, holding up the netch leather chest armor to which he'd made a few contour adjustments. She took it, putting her head through the opening, then pressed the sides together, searching for the straps.

"It already feels better," she said, rolling her shoulders around, no longer feeling the edges digging into her skin. She tightened the belt around her waist and looked down appraisingly, then glanced between Glover and Teldryn. "So?"

Glover nodded toward Teldryn, who stepped forward and tugged at the straps. She smirked as she watched his brow knit, feeling his fingers poking around the edges to check the fit. His eyes slid to hers, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly.

"Is it acceptable, Sensei?" she asked under her breath. A wicked gleam twinkled in his eyes for a moment before he blinked it away, turning to Glover.

"It's good."

"Aye, I can see that," the blacksmith said, a hint of amusement in his voice. He turned and gathered up the rest of her armor and Vanya started undoing the buckles of the chest piece while he handed the bundle off to Teldryn. "After you wear it for a bit, let me know if it needs any more adjustments."

"What do I owe you?" Vanya asked as she pulled the armor off, tucking it under her arm.

* * *

"Eighty septims," Glover said, a bit too quickly in Teldryn's opinion. The actual price was one-hundred and forty, the difference of which he'd promised to pay later when she busy in the tavern. He would have gladly paid the total, seeing as this was all his idea, but he had recognized a storm brewing in trying to convince her of that and so he'd come up with an alternative that could satisfy them both.  _If_  he could pull it off.

Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. "That seems a little cheap, Glover."

 _Gods damn it._ They should have gone with ninety-five.

"Vanya, you know I'll give you a discount," the man said with a slight grin. A good save. "And besides..."  _No, no, no. Stop while you're ahead._ "It's made with netch hides that he brought me."

"But you paid him for that right?"

Teldryn could only nod as she turned her keen gaze upon him. Glover gave an apologetic look before smoothing his face as she turned back.

The blacksmith shrugged. "You're certainly welcome to pay me more if you like."

_You fucker._

She rolled her eyes and turned toward his worktable, opening the satchel on her belt to pull out coins, slapping them loudly on the surface as she counted. Teldryn pinned Glover with an accusing glare, the man responding by putting his hands out as if to say "What do you want me to do?". Teldryn had many answers for that, the principal one to not be as transparent as a fucking albino spider.

She turned back around and Glover gave another attempt at poorly feigned innocence while Teldryn did not even try as she approached him until she was right under his nose. Her passive expression was carved from stone as she dropped the cuirass on top of the pieces he was carrying. She took a breath and he thought she might speak, preparing himself for some scathing comment. Instead, her lips pressed together as she exhaled loudly through her nose then brushed past him toward the Netch.

Teldryn sighed as he watched Glover slide the stacks of septims into a coin purse. "I have to say, I expected better from you, Glover. No wonder you're stuck on this gods-forsaken rock."

"I'm  _stuck_  on this rock because I know a bad idea when I see one," the blacksmith retorted, cinching the pouch as he chuckled. "I tried to tell ya."

Teldryn pursed his lips, deciding not to argue with the man. It wouldn't change the fact that he was already mired in shit.

* * *

Pressing the corners of the sheet together, she ran the fingers of one hand along the edge, giving the fabric a good shake to smooth out the wrinkles before folding it over once more on the table.  _Perfect._ She grabbed another sheet from the drying rack by the hearth.

She'd stormed into the Netch meaning to find something to do in the kitchen but upon seeing the linens, she decided she'd leave some on the bed for Teldryn to change first. The snake. Earlier this morning, she had told him in no uncertain terms that she wanted to pay for her armor and he'd gone behind her back. Did he think she was stupid and wouldn't know?

The door to the netch opened and the man himself walked in, still carrying her armor. She raised her chin, focusing on folding the sheet as if it were her purpose in life. He said nothing, only descended the steps down toward the tavern. Before he could go through the archway at the bottom, she snatched her crisply folded sheet from the table and flung it down onto his head, then turned back to continue with the one in her hand.

So what if it was all his idea for her to get armor? She had her own money, she didn't need him to buy things for her. She didn't want him to. Not to mention he refused to tell her what she needed it so badly for anyway. It had been amusing at first but the joke was really beginning to wear thin. Finished with the linens, she gathered them up in her arms and headed for the stairs. Before she reached the first step, the doors swung open again, a cacophony of excited voices reaching her ears as she blinked in the light for a moment.

"Just think when the kahjiit come back around-" The familiar raspy voice was interrupted by another more hearty one.

"Oh, we could get some of that-"

The door closed as Bralsa's sharper tone overpowered the other two. "You two are dumber than I thought if you think I'm going to let  _you_  pick out tobacco. You'll have us climbing the walls in naught but our smalls."

"Hey, that's pretty good," Scouts-Many-Marshes said, his feathers twitching. "Climbing the walls in naught but our smalls..." he repeated, nodding his head a little with the rhythm.

Rodane cut in, "But you don't wear-"

Bralsa slapped her hand over the breton's mouth then pinched his lips together, pulling his face closer to hers. The breton met her hard stare with merrily squinted eyes and made kissing sounds between her fingers. Bralsa scoffed as she released him, turning away.

"Oh, Vanya!" the dunmer stopped short upon noticing her. "You need to come to my room tonight. I finally got the  _molghelu_  I sent for."

At her confused look, Rodane added helpfully, "You know, a Shijah." Vanya shook her head and he put his hands out to draw in the air. "It's a vase you smoke out of. You know, you put the tobacco in the top and it's got some hoses..."

"Like a hookah?" she blurted, then regretted it as he paused, his face mirroring her confusion.

"A-whatta?"

She snorted a laugh. "Nevermind. I know what you're talking about."

"So you're coming?" Bralsa said as she started down the stairs and Vanya followed.

"It would be late, you know I'm working."

"Then get off early for once," she said flatly and Vanya stopped, staring at the back of her head as if she'd just told her to jump off the side of the Bulwark. The other two passed her by in her stupor, Rodane saying over his shoulder, "And bring your kagouti."


	47. Cruel Truths

"...devehr Drarprovidiihn..."

He muttered parts of the incantation out loud as he sat across his bed, the spell taking form in his hand, its violet glow feeling somewhat unfamiliar as he called upon a plane of Oblivion other than his usual. He spread his fingers, straightening his arm out in front of him to aim the gateway in the center of the room, smirking at the memory of the first time he'd ever summoned this particular creature.

The scamp materialized in a swirl of thick smoke and wisps of flame, inclining its head to sniff the air noisily as its black eyes took in the room. Teldryn's nose twitched when the creature's acrid stench reached him. He'd forgotten about that. Odor aside, it was incredibly easy to keep docile so he felt this would work quite well. He frowned at its wicked talons as they clicked together. _Definitely need to cut those._  Suddenly, both he and the scamp whipped their heads toward the door at the sound of the lock turning.

With no time to banish the scamp, Teldryn leaped off the bed as the door opened.

* * *

She couldn't believe it had been so easy to get off work a little early, why had she never done it before? She smiled as she entered Teldryn's room, the change of pace making her a little giddy. Come to think of it, she might even suggest that Geldis hire a third barmaid.  _Azura knows I could use a whole day off sometimes._

The smell hit her first, like burning sulfur, and she barely had time to move out of the way before Teldryn slammed the door shut behind her. "What the-" Her question was cut off by her sharp gasp at the sight of a nightmarish creature in the room, her attempt to scream muffled by Teldryn's hand over her mouth.

"No," he said, pressing a finger to his lips. "No screaming. I'm in control of it, it won't attack us." He pulled his hand cautiously away from her mouth and she peeked around him at the...beast? It was short and scrawny with long pointed ears, like a shriveled elf with sharp orcish teeth. Sickly yellow skin with patches of scales stretched over corded muscles that twisted down disproportionately long arms, its bony hands ending with overgrown, jagged black nails. Shaggy brown hair covered its legs and she jumped when it moved, noticing a whiplike tail swishing behind it.

Her eyes darted between the creature and Teldryn, who seemed to be watching her for a reaction. "The fuck is that?"

"This...," he said, making a showy gesture as he backed away."...is a scamp." He looked at the scamp with a satisfied grin, then back to her. "A creature from The Deadlands. I summoned it."

She folded her arms, raising one hand to press against her lips as she studied the man in front of her, waiting for him to say something that made sense. She slid the hand on her mouth up over her nose.  _Gods, that thing stinks._

"This is why I wanted you to get armor, so you can fight it. If it becomes too much, I can make it stop but you can go so far as to kill it, it will just go back to Oblivion."

That thing was from Oblivion? She could only stare between the creature and Teldryn, unsure which one was more bizarre.  _And what the hell is The Deadlands?_  She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her fingers along her brow as she tried to remember what she'd read about Daedra and their realms.  _Azura's is Moonshadow, Boethiah's is...something..._

She gave up, the names and places mixing around with her exasperation. Not to mention the rough, gurgling sound of the creature's breathing was making her stomach roll.

"So let me get this straight," she said, lowering her hands. "You summoned this..." she motioned toward the scamp. "...thing from a god's realm just so I can kill it? Except, it's not really dead and you just bring it right back to start over?"

Teldryn held her stare for a few moments, looking like he was mulling over her words before he finally nodded. "I believe that sums it up, yes."

Un-believable.

"What on Ea-"  _Nope._  "Nirn-"  _Not good enough._  "What in the  _universe_  is wrong with you?" she shrieked, throwing her arms out. The scamp hissed and she turned her glare on it, staring into beady little eyes, each second replacing her anger with pity. It didn't matter that it was hideous and probably mean as could be, she was not going to torture a living being for sport. She looked back to Teldryn, not wanting to believe he could be so cruel but it was clear by his maddeningly confused expression that he didn't see anything wrong with the idea. She couldn't be in this room any longer.

"You take care of this." She waved her arm around in the direction of the scamp as she backed toward the door, raising her chin. "I'm gonna go smoke."

* * *

"What?" He was pulled from his utter bewilderment at her reaction by her last statement.  _Did she say smoke?_

He started after her, catching the door handle before it closed, the skittering sound behind him causing him to stop. He slammed the door shut and turned, gathering energy into his palm, throwing his hand out to banish his latest apparent mistake.

The scamp screeched as fire erupted at its feet, a plume of black smoke rising up with unnatural speed, swallowing the creature into a formless void before dissipating as quickly as it came, leaving only the scent of death and decay.

He nearly left the room, but again stopped. He didn't know where she was going and he hated the idea of going out completely unarmored, but there was no time. He turned with a frustrated groan and crossed the room for his dagger, strapping it onto his waist while heading back to the door to go and find out exactly  _what the fuck_  her problem was. Although that had not been how he had planned for her to meet the scamp, her hysteria was above and beyond what he had expected.

He stalked into the tavern, eyes darting between the kitchen and the stairs as he wondered which way she had gone. He didn't wonder long as Vanya emerged from the kitchen rubbing something onto her arms and neck as she headed toward the stairwell. A sweet, lavender aroma reached him as he approached and he had to pick up his pace to cut her off right before the stairs since she was very conspicuously ignoring him.

"You stink," she said, not meeting his eyes, only raising a hand to show him the lotion in her palm. "Pull up your sleeves."

He did as she said, holding out his arms as she spread the cool cream onto his skin, a little bit roughly. "Vanya, look at me."

As if she hadn't heard him, she tugged his sleeves back down then brushed past him up the stairs. Curling his lip in frustration, he followed her, skipping steps to again cut her off before she reached the door. Before he could demand an explanation she looked up at him placidly, stopping the words in this throat.

"Bralsa got a hookah," she said as she stepped around him and out into the market. He sighed heavily, recognizing her attempt to divert him with some kind of Earthling word. It wasn't going to work. He went through the door after her, suppressing his urge to ask what a hookah was, satisfied with the fact that he'd find out soon enough.

* * *

She peeked up with an arched brow as he caught up to her. He wasn't going to take the bait this time. "I don't think I've ever seen you leave the Netch without your armor."

"I was in a bit of a hurry," he said sourly.

"Don't you get tired of wearing it, anyway?"

"Sometimes, but I've never regretted it."

"Even when you're just around town?" she asked, looking up at him as they rounded Fethis house toward the path to the mine.

"You well know things happen in town, Vanya," he replied sharply, and she focused her eyes ahead, not wanting to admit he was right. "Speaking of," he added. "You should wear yours as much as possible, to get used to it."

The reminder about her armor stoked her anger and she shook her head as she picked up her pace to put distance between them, only gaining a few steps before he caught her elbow. She whipped around, pulling her arm from his grasp.

"Let's have it out, Vanya. Right now."

 _Who exactly does he think he is?_  She had honestly had just about enough of him ordering her around, acting as if he had some right to make decisions for her. He wanted to have it out? Fine.

"How could you think I'd be okay with that?" she hissed, pointing behind him toward the Netch. "How are  _you_  okay with that? Pulling that creature into this world to kill it over and over like some twisted kind of...torture slavery? It's sick, Teldryn!"

He raised a hand in a calming gesture that had quite the opposite effect. "I don't think you understand..."

"No, I guess I don't, thank God," she spat. "And where do you get off going behind my back when I  _explicitly_  said I wanted to pay for my armor, which, by the way, I'm not even sure I want anymore if this is the kind of shit you think is fun."

"Admittedly, that was a mistake..." He had both hands up now.

"Only because Glover was not as good a liar as you hoped. I'm not an idiot, Teldryn."

"I know that, Vanya," he clipped out, taking a step forward. "If you wouldn't be so gods-damned stubborn..."

"I'm the one who's stubborn?" She put her hands on her chest in disbelief. "Me? You know, how about instead of going around making plans for me, you ask me what I think first? Could have saved us both a lot of fucking money this morning."

She'd pissed him off now, she could see it in the way his features tightened. He turned his head, closing his eyes as he pressed his fingers to his forehead and she swore she could see a flicker of green light. There was more she wanted to say but the subject whisked the wind from her sails before she could form the thoughts into words. All of her furious energy collapsed under the weight of the tension between them. Did he plan on mentioning his mother to her? What would it mean if he didn't...what would it mean if he did? Did she want it to mean anything at all?

"I'm just..." he said finally, bringing his hand down as he looked at her. "I'm just trying to help you."

"Why bother?" she said, suddenly weary. "It's a waste of time. Don't you see that?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, open your eyes. I'll never be more than what I am, to you or anyone else. A burden that everyone has to carry because I just happened to fall into this world and take up space."

"Don't talk like that," he said stiffly as he stepped closer and she looked away, no longer able to keep up her facade.

"I try not to but it sucks to hear the truth, doesn't it?" She blinked back the tears in her eyes. She was  _so tired_  of crying. "No matter how much I try, how much I learn, I can never quite make it." Her voice fell to barely a whisper. "I shouldn't be here."

His fingers grasped her chin with surprising force, snapping her head up, the edge in his voice making her hair stand on end. "I don't accept that."

She swallowed as she ran her hand up to his wrist, tugging to loosen his grip. He let go, his arm going limp in her grasp. "It's not really up to you."

At that moment, as she looked into his defiant eyes, it was as if her statement had been directed at herself. Who was she to tell him what was right or wrong in this world, to try and impose her will on someone who'd lived her life many times over, or to expect so much when he would continue long after she was gone? He was doing what he knew to help her and she was being horrid about it. She dropped her eyes as a wave of shame engulfed her and words she knew he didn't want to hear formed on her tongue.

_I'm sorry._

She choked them back, knowing he would only argue. Unsure what else to do, she pressed her face to his chest, the way his arms immediately encircled her easing the stress that had been clawing at her all day. Despite the lingering mixture of aromas on his shirt, his was there underneath, a scent that could pull her out from under the fear and doubt that clouded her mind, if only for a little bit.

"I don't want to fight with you, Teldryn. I don't like it."

* * *

He wasn't sure if she meant just here or in training as well, but he agreed on both points. "I don't like it either."

Did she truly believe that of herself? It was a horrific revelation that he had no words for, so he simply held her, feeling the same helplessness that disarmed him every time she gave him a glimpse of the true nature of her pain. All his attempts to help only seemed to agitate the dark shadows that plagued her soul.

He tightened his hold on her as if she might suddenly decide to float away from this plane in which she felt so dissonant. Long moments passed, the only sounds a light breeze whispering over the cliffside and the occasional distant chirp from the herd of guar.

Her gentle voice broke the silence, "It's a shijah, by the way."

He narrowed his eyes at nothing in particular until he remembered the reason they were standing out on the path to the mine in the first place. With sudden excitement, he pushed her shoulders away, looking her in the face. "A molghelu?"

She nodded as a smile pulled at her lips. "Yeah, I couldn't remember what Bralsa called it." Her brow pinched a little. "Mo-ghelu?"

"Mol-ghelu," he corrected, mirroring her smile as she intertwined the fingers of one hand with his.

"Mole-ghelu," she tried again while they started up the path together.

He chuckled. "Closer, the emphasis is wrong. Mol _ghe_ lu"

Her lips pursed slightly and she inclined her head, concentrating. "Molghelu."

"That's it," he said, squeezing her hand in encouragement. Her expression brightened further and she swayed their clasped hands lightly between them as they walked. It occurred to him that part of what she believed was right- she wasn't made for this world. That didn't matter. She was now a part of it- just as much as he was- and if it  _were_  up to him he would say that Nirn was better for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel more anxious about this chapter than any other so far. It's been reworked so many times but I think I finally got what I wanted from it. Hope you enjoyed! Next one is one of my favorites!


	48. In Good Company

The smoke hit the back of his lungs, his chest rising as he drew in more until the lightness in his head told him to stop. Eyes closed, he pulled the hose from his mouth and let the smoke free in a long, slow breath that took the cares of the last few days along with it. He looked up at the rising cloud and smiled, then slid his eyes to Bralsa, who sat across from him on the floor by her bed.

"That's good," he said, leaning back against the wall, savoring the clove and hints of gold kanet.

"It had better be," Bralsa said. "Cost me a shiny septim!"

Vanya nestled in close beside him and he offered her the hose. "Want to try it?"

She nodded, sitting up a little as she took it. "It's been a while," she said, wetting her lips. "Don't judge me if I choke."

"Start slow," he advised, watching intently as she closed her mouth around the tip and inhaled. She hadn't been interested in trying his pipe before and though he didn't mind, he could admit he'd always had selfish reasons for offering. As she lowered her hand, the smoke that curled from between her lips and the slight smirk as she blew out the remainder was a nearly obscene seduction that made him regret the presence of the others in the room.

* * *

She handed the hose back to him, uncertain whether the shiver that ran through her was from the smoke or the heated look in his eyes.

"What do you think, Feathers?" Rodane asked, reminding Vanya that they weren't alone. She looked to her left and snickered when she saw Scouts-Many-Marshes blowing little streams of smoke from his nostrils.

The argonian grinned at her and puffed the rest of it through his sharp teeth, causing her to laugh. "It's not Reef Tallow," he said. "but it's passable."

"Not having my insides turn to stone is more than passable," Bralsa asserted.

The breton nodded in agreement, his mouth hanging open as he let smoke waft out lazily. "I've always been partial to foxglove blends," he said, smacking his lips. "This stuff makes my throat numb."

Bralsa arched her brow, catching Vanya's eye. "Good for blowing 'O's."

Vanya pursed her lips as she reddened, casting a quick glance at the men who, thankfully, did not seem to be in on the joke. The dunmer chuckled as she laid her head back against the mattress, drawing deeply.

"Don't take this for granted," Teldryn said, offering Vanya the hose. "It's rare enough to get gold kanet in Blacklight, let alone anywhere else." He looked at her with a grin as she put the tip in her mouth. "Didn't think I'd ever smoke it again."

A loud crash from the hallway got everyone's attention and Vanya startled in the midst of her inhale, causing her to cough violently. Rodane hopped up and headed for the door while Teldryn whipped back around, pulling the hose from her hand as she wheezed, her eyes watering.

* * *

"Breathe," he said, channeling a calming spell into his hand as he pressed it to her chest. Her coughs slowed to ragged breaths and she sniffled, wiping her wet cheeks and nose with her hands.

With her outburst under control, he got up to join Rodane by the door. If whoever was in the hallway was not in peril, they would be soon.

"...Xuth!" a deep, raspy voice said and Teldryn's anger was tempered with confusion when he saw a bulky, brown colored argonian scooping dirt up around a small plant, pieces of a broken pot strewn about. "Xuth! Xuth!"

He and Rodane shared a look.

"This is the last cutting Teeba- Ei has," said the argonian desperately. "All the others perished! It's the last one Teeba- Ei has!"

With the plant nested into a pile of dirt in his palms, he looked up at them with pleading orange eyes. "Do you have a bowl that Teeba- Ei could use?"

Teldryn shook his head and laughed at the ridiculous sight and turned back into the room as Rodane called over his shoulder. "Bralsa, you got a bowl in here?"

* * *

"Yeah," she said, craning her neck. "On that shelf by the door, but it's got my..." Rodane grabbed the bowl and dumped the contents on the top of the shelf. "...Oh, sure. Go right ahead," she finished sourly, shooting Vanya an exasperated look as she settled back down.

Vanya reached out her hands as Teldryn approached, a silent request for him to help her up. He grasped her hands and pulled her up easily.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, a little light-headed. Not sure if it's from the smoking or coughing. I'm gonna get some water."

She headed around the bed for the small table against the opposite wall, scooting aside the chair to stand as she picked up a cup and filled it with water from the silver pitcher. She took a sip and her eyes widened over the rim of the cup when she saw the brown argonian following Rodane into the room, dwarfing the breton by more than his head and shoulders. She'd seen him from afar the other day at Dreyla's house and his size had not been a trick of the eye. She swallowed with difficulty from the numbness in her throat.

"You know," Rodane said as he approached the table, his hands full of pieces of the broken pot. "My ma could fix this with her magic." He set the pieces on the table and turned to face the argonian, who was holding the bowl that carried the little green shoot tucked haphazardly into what he could gather of the dirt. "Guess that doesn't really help since she's all the way in Bravil, does it?"

"Teeba- Ei will return the bowl when he buys a new pot." His voice was like a rake being dragged over rocks.

"Nah, don't worry about it." Rodane slapped the argonian on the shoulder then paused for moment with a slightly pained look, shaking out his hand as he walked back to the circle around the molghelu.

Vanya looked up at the imposing figure next to her, a mountain of scales with two horns curling back from either side of his head, one of the horns sporting a stack of rings that made her wonder if they were merely decorative, or if they meant something as they would for dunmer. He was so different from the others and now that she could see him up close she noticed he had many scars and chipped scales. She dropped her eyes when his orange ones flicked toward her briefly, feeling incredibly awkward for staring so openly.  _Smooth, Vanya._  His fingers were trembling slightly as he fussed over the tiny plant in the bowl and she took pity on him. He seemed really shaken up, or nervous. Either way, it seemed as if it was all he could do not to crush the poor little thing as he pressed the dirt around it.

She smiled, setting her cup on the table and gesturing toward the bowl. "May I?" He stilled for a moment, then nodded as he slid the bowl her way. "What kind of plant is this?" she asked as she began righting it, trying to prop it up with the soil.

"A Somnalius Fern," he answered. 'It is nothing special. A common thing to find in Blackwood."

"Where's that?"

"It is where Teeba-Ei was raised, in Cyrodiil." Vanya hummed genially, encouraging him to continue. "Er...Bogwater, on the Topal Bay." She glanced up at him sideways with a smirk. She still had no idea where he was talking about, though that wasn't really his fault. She raised her eyebrows and he fidgeted a little. "Sometimes Teeba-Ei and Okura would travel to the border of Blackmarsh to climb the abandoned tower. The ruins of Gideon could be seen through a spyglass. Gideon is where Raj-thtithik...er...Grandmother used to live. She used to say she was glad to be in Blackwood, because Blackmarsh does not have Somnalius Fern."

Vanya frowned a little as she looked back at the small frond. That seemed such a trivial thing to be glad about.

"Her hut was covered with them, huge, like one big fern."

"That sounds lovely," she said as she reached for her water to moisten the soil.

"It was," he rasped, quieter. "It was."

Vanya took a deep breath, suddenly awash with an overwhelming melancholy. Whether it was from the effects of smoking or the tone of his voice, she couldn't say, but she felt she understood what this little plant meant to him. It was a token, a memento of an idyllic past.

"What's it for?" she asked hoarsely, hoping to steer her mind into more comfortable territory.

"It is for Teeba- Ei," he said plainly and she laughed, trying to suppress it while her eyes burned, welling up. She almost clarified that she'd been asking about alchemical properties but decided against it. It didn't matter.

With the baby fern looking no worse for wear, except one little bent leaf, she slid the bowl back toward its owner. He lifted it carefully in one hand, appraising, then turned his eyes on her. "It is good that you were here or she might have been lost."

Why did he have to go and say that? She'd been doing so well. Her lip quivered uncontrollably and Teeba- Ei shrank away, tilting his head in confusion. "Thank you," she squeaked out, sucking in a breath as she wiped the tears that were streaming from her eyes.

"Uh...uh..." Teeba- Ei stammered, setting the bowl back on the table.

"What the fuck did you say to her?" She jumped a little as Teldryn appeared beside her, cornering the argonian between her and the table.

The argonian raised his hands, which were trembling again. "Teeba- Ei didn't..."

"Teldryn, stop!" Vanya lunged forward and grabbed a handful of his shirt, yanking him around to face her."I'm fine!" The skepticism that transformed his expression was staggering. "Really!" she assured, wiping the wetness from her cheeks to try and look more convincing. She looked around then, very aware that all eyes were on her.

"Really, I am." She shrugged. "It must be hormones or something."

* * *

Had he heard that correctly? He glanced over to the group on the floor, then back to Vanya. Rodane snickered.

Clearing his throat, he repeated under his breath, "Whore moans?"

"Yeah, hormo-" Her eyes went round and she gaped for a moment before sputtering and breaking into a raucous laugh. He watched her- only slightly less perturbed than the others- as she tried to get control of her giggling. "S-Sorry..." she croaked, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands, then dropping them with a sigh. "I mean, it must be the tobacco getting to me."

He squinted doubtfully, though the confused tension in the room dissipated with her excuse.

She huffed, raising her chin. "I think I should have some more, don't you?"

He chuckled as she batted her lashes playfully. "If you like."

She turned her gaze to Teeba-Ei. "You should join us, if you're not busy." The only indication the argonian was not made of stone was the twitching of his nostrils and his widened eyes, glowing like two miniature suns as he stared down at her.

"You'll get used to her," Bralsa called from her place on the floor. "She says weird shit all the time."

Vanya scoffed and headed back across the room, muttering, "Thanks for that."

Teldryn eyed the argonian suspiciously before following her, wondering what had transpired between them to garner such a reaction. Though he did find himself sympathizing a little; he had been blindsided more than a few times by her emotional responses.  As he settled down next to Vanya on the floor, now a little amused by the whole situation, Scouts-Many-Marshes said something in Jel to Teeba- Ei, beckoning with a scaled hand. Finally, the monolith began to move, making his way toward the group with tentative steps that seemed entirely incongruent with his size.

Rodane scooted closer to Bralsa, patting the space between Teldryn and himself. "Right here, Big Horn." Vanya slapped her hand over her face, smoke wafting from behind it with a groan as she shoved the hose in her other hand in front of Teldryn.

Teeba-Ei lowered to the ground with all the grace of dwemer centurion, crossing his legs. "Er...Thanks," he said as he situated his thick tail around one side.

The grinning breton held out his hose for the argonian. "Take mine, she'll share with me," he said, cocking his head back toward Bralsa, who blew smoke at the back of his head in response. Teldryn took a long draw.

"That's the best you can come up with?" Scouts-Many-Marshes drawled. "Big Horn?"

"You got something better?" Rodane retorted, waving a hand toward Teeba-Ei as if that was all the explanation necessary.

"You could use his name, you know," Bralsa snarked.

"Where's the fun in that?" Rodane leaned over and nudged her with his shoulder. "Hmm, Nightshade?"

Bralsa swatted at his head and he raised an arm to block with a yelping giggle. A rumbling chuckle came from Teeba-Ei as he finally brought the hose to his mouth. Teldryn blew smoke upwards, passing the hose back to Vanya.

"Ought to call you Stampcrab the way you lumber about," Scouts-Many-Marshes said with a snicker. "I thought Neetranaza was going to dig under your scales after you stepped on his tail yesterday."

The larger argonian exhaled a plume of smoke with a grim look. "Neetranaza was not happy."

"Stampcrab," Rodane repeated, then shook his head. "Nah...Ooh! Lumberfoot!"

"That's even worse..." Scouts-Many-Marshes retorted.

Teldryn was beginning to tire of the conversation and looked over to Vanya who was blowing a thin stream of smoke through pursed lips as the others began bickering over what to name their new friend. She handed him the hose, sitting up straighter with the look of someone who had just come to a momentous realization.

"Godzilla," she said loudly, positively preening with a broad smile when the room fell quiet. Perhaps the tobacco really was getting to her.

* * *

A quick scan of their faces confirmed the depth of their confusion and Vanya could only laugh, every second of silence adding to her mirth. They were all staring again, but for once she didn't care. She drifted over against Teldryn, giggling into his shirt as he put his arm around her. Slowly, the others began to talk once more, chuckling and repeating the name. The conversation was no more than murmurs to Vanya's ears, her friends' voices muffled and indistinct as if she were a part of the smoky haze in the room. With her head pressed to Teldryn's chest, listening to his lungs expanding as he drew deeply on the molghelu, she remembered something Geldis had said to her so many months ago.

_'I can assure you that most living here are wishing to be somewhere else as well.'_

This place wasn't anyone's home, not really, and they'd all come here in different ways. The sounds of their laughter made her smile and she wrapped her arms around Teldryn's waist tightly. Maybe together they could create their own.

_'That's supposed to make you feel better, by the way.'_

Finally, it did.


	49. A Little Bit of Troll Fat

Holding her teacup at her lips, Vanya sucked a steady stream of liquid into her mouth, her eyes devouring the words on the page of the book laid on the table. Her mind was no longer in the tavern, transported into the shoes of a hungry thief who was fleeing into the woods, pursued by those from whom he'd stolen, desperate and scared as the hunters seemed to grow in number the more he ran.

Into an abandoned shack, he's hiding, realizing with horror that he's not alone. A shriveled old man, the face of death, the silhouettes of the predators that had corralled the thief to his doom. Talons reach for him from the shadows...

"What are you reading?" Teldryn's voice ripped her back to the present, his heavy hand on her shoulder causing her to shriek as she slammed her cup to the table, a few drops of tea sloshing over the edges. He pulled his hand back, chuckling as he fell into the chair across from her. "That good, huh?"

"Jesus Christ," she breathed as she leaned her head into one hand, the other resting over her thumping heart.

He slid the book around, folding it over to read the cover. "Ah,  _Trap_ ," he said with recognition. "No wonder you're in such a state. Vampires will do that."

She dropped her hand from her head to glare at him as he slid the book back around to her. "I didn't know they were vampires yet, I hadn't finished it!" She slammed the book shut. "You owe me five septims for ruining the ending."

"Is that how much Fethis charged you for it?" He scoffed, "That old fetcher."

She rolled her eyes, picking up her teacup to finish off the contents. "Suppose you're hungry," she said as she pushed to her feet, gathering up her breakfast dishes. "Gotta makes sure you have plenty of energy for beating up on the guards." Modyn had finally convinced Teldryn to help keep the guards in shape- not without a healthy bribe- and so he'd been fairly busy with that over the past couple weeks. It did cut into her training time, or cut out her training altogether, but that had become little more than an exercise in frustration between them so it wasn't much of a loss. They had better things to do, anyway.

A rather ornery grin spread on his lips. "New blood today."

* * *

"Alright, dear," Milore said as she situated a few bowls on her work table in the market. "Sit in that chair, there." She waved her fingers vaguely in the direction of a rickety wooden chair nearby that looked as though it might hold only the elder woman's weight and precisely no more. Vanya sat, carefully.

Milore approached with one of the bowls. "Dip a little of this out and spread it on your hands." The chair creaked precariously as Vanya leaned for a closer look at the grey, gelatinous blob inside. She made a face at the dunmer.

"What is it?"

"Troll fat, " Milore replied. "And a little bit of garlic. Excellent for topical poison resistance." Vanya suppressed a gag as the sour, garlicky smell curled into her nose.

She slowly reached out two fingers toward the bowl, every inch closer increasing her dread.

"Oh, come now!" Milore admonished. "It's harmless!" The fat jiggled as she spoke and Vanya thought that it seemed at least a little bit threatening.

With a pout, she stuck her fingers in the goop. "Ewwww, it's cold!" she whined as she scooped out a glob and spread it across her palm. Cold, greasy, slimy, smelly.  _Disgusting._

"Spread it evenly," the dunmer instructed. "Or you may be more uncomfortable later." She set a large mortar in front of Vanya full of glossy, fat mushrooms. "Now, crush these into a paste. Smooth as you can get it."

Vanya picked up the pestle and got to work. "How can something so poisonous go into a potion to cure disease?"

"That Imp Stool is not for the potion. It's for this," she said as she hefted a large claw onto the table. She rapped on it with her knuckles. "Mudcrab Chitin. Can't very well make a potion with something hard as rock. Simmer this in a bit of Imp Stool and it softens right up." She turned toward her ingredient chest and pulled out a small iron wedge and a hammer.

Vanya worked the pestle absently as she watched Milore shove the wedge into a crevice of the claw. "Wouldn't that poison the chitin?"

"Ah, good observation," Milore said, clearly pleased. "As it turns out, Mudcrab Chitin can be used to resist poison and so..." she slammed the hammer onto the top of the wedge with no effect. She raised the hammer again. "...even though the Imp Stool breaks it down..." her voice straining as she hit the wedge once more. She huffed, dropping the hammer in defeat. "...the effects cancel each other. Lovely isn't it?" She tried to pull the wedge from the claw, throwing her hands up when it didn't budge. "Oh, where is Garyn when I need him?"

"I'd help you but my hands are slimed."

"No, no you keep at that, I'll-" she stopped short, staring out into the market. "I'll figure it out." She brushed past purposefully. "You! Lizard!"

Vanya grimaced a little, hoping that moniker wasn't considered offensive as the little dunmer approached Teeba-Ei, who she was surprised to see in the market at this early hour. She couldn't hear what Milore was saying but he was tilting away from her uncomfortably. When he looked in the direction of the work table, Vanya gave him a smile, waving with the pestle still in her hand. He seemed to relax, finally nodding and following Milore.

"Hey Teeba-Ei," Vanya greeted, preferring to use his name despite her suggested nickname the others had adopted. She felt a little guilty about that, no matter how fitting it was.

"Good day," he mumbled.

"Here, here, take this." Milore lifted the claw from the table, holding it out with both hands. The argonian's large hand closed around it, making it look as if it had shrunk suddenly. Milore gave him an encouraging nod. "Go on."

Teeba-Ei pressed the claw between his palms, the chitin instantly cracking apart as if it were an eggshell. Vanya gaped, collecting herself as Milore giggled approvingly.

"Marvelous! Here." She picked up a shallow pan and held it under his hands. "Drop it in here and I'll pick out the meat." Teeba-Ei did as she said, then stepped back to give her space. "Don't go too far," the dunmer added as she dug out a thick segment of meat, tossing it into a nearby bowl. "Some of these pieces will need to be broken down more." He looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else at the moment, his hands clenching and relaxing at his sides.

"How's the fern?" Vanya asked, hoping to distract him.

He perked up a little. "She is doing well. She has grown a little. Teeba-Ei worries for the ash, it is hard to keep out of the bowl when she sits in the sun."

"A little ash is a good fertilizer," Milore said, holding out a chunk of chitin to the argonian. "But you ought to cover the dirt with straw to keep it from being overwhelmed." He tilted his head as he crushed the chitin effortlessly, depositing the pieces into the waiting pan. "And give the leaves a good dusting every so often so they can breathe."

Teeba-Ei nodded, his eyes darting back and forth in focus as if he were transcribing the instructions in his brain.

"Did you guys finish at the house early?" Vanya asked when he looked to be done with the mental exercise.

"Er...not exactly," he replied, the regret in his voice mirroring his sudden change in expression. "Teeba-Ei stepped on Neetranaza's tail again. After knocking over the roof slats..." Vanya winced as he bobbed his head back and forth, obviously not finished laying out his mishaps. "...and spilling a bucket of lacquer. Teeba-Ei is relieved of building duties," he concluded with a pout, or at least the closest she guessed an argonian face could come to one.

"So will you go back to the mines now?"

"Suppose so," he said morosely as he took another piece of chitin from Milore, producing a series of cracks as he closed his scaled fist around it. "Teeba-Ei is better at breaking rocks anyway."

Vanya shared a look with Milore, who curled her lips in somewhat guiltily.

"Well," the dunmer chimed in brightly, relieving him of the broken up chitin. "What do you  _want_  to do?"

He pressed his hands together stiffly. "It doesn't matter."

"All the more reason to tell us, then!" Milore pressed. Vanya nodded enthusiastically when he glanced toward her.

"Uh..." His gaze shifted between them. "It's not-"

"G'day Milore," a smooth, feminine voice interrupted and they all looked to its owner, a bosmer huntress holding an impressive bundle of long white feathers.

"Ah, Gael," Milore chirped. "I didn't expect you back until later today! Wonderful!"

"It would seem Felsaad Tern are not as wary as hawks," Gael's turquoise eyes glinted as she handed over the feathers. "I took the liberty of eating the meat, hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, my dear. Let me fetch your pay." Milore hurried toward the house, cradling the bundle. "Oh, these are just lovely..."

Gael reached up and plucked a sharp bone from somewhere in her mysteriously tied up hair and began picking at her teeth, staring up at towering argonian in front of her. "Rough day?"

His eyes were distant, luminous reflections of the morning sun and after a few moments of silence, he simply turned and walked away leaving them watching his retreating form as he headed toward the path to the mine. A little confused but completely unoffended, Vanya turned her attention to the long, elegant bow on Gael's back, her eyes traveling down absorbing the myriad of objects hanging onto the bosmer's leather armor. A fox tail, a sash strung with rabbit ears, various sizes of knives tucked into straps and now that she looked closer she could see her bronze hair was twisted up around more thin bones. Gael shrugged carelessly as she turned back around, wiping off her toothpick and stabbing it back into place on her head giving a good view of her extremely toned muscles as she raised her arms.

"So you can hit birds right out of the sky with a bow and arrow?" Vanya asked, more for confirmation than curiosity.

"Aye, I can." The huntress grinned, revealing rather prominent canines. "Felsaad Tern are quite large, it's not difficult."

 _Wow._ That sounded like a magical feat all on its own. She would love to see that in action.

"Mama!" They both looked across the market to see Beniel running toward them with Llero trotting close behind, though he stopped by the well to wait as the girl leapt into her mother's arms. Vanya winked at him and he smiled shyly, shuffling behind the well out of sight.

"Beni, my love, have you been good while I was gone?"

"Yes, mama, yes!" Beniel assured, trying to dodge a kiss as she was set back down. "Did you bring me a wishbone?" She reached out toward the satchel on her mother's belt, her tiny hands being promptly smacked away.

"Tch! Back you little raccoon!" Gael scolded playfully, opening the pouch and pulling out a wishbone. "I have two. You can have one now," she lifted the prize quickly from Beniel's grabby reach. "And I'll give you the other if Llero's mother gives me a good report."

"She will! She will! She will!" Beniel cried earnestly, positively vibrating with excitement as the object of her desire was lowered to her hands. The moment she took possession she was off toward the well. "Llero, look, look!"

The bosmer scoffed, giving Vanya an exasperated look. "Shows how much she missed  _me_."

Milore reappeared from the house with a small bag in hand. "Here you are, Gael. Excellent job, really."

"Thank you." She tipped her head toward the dunmer, then to Vanya, backing away to take her leave. She stopped suddenly, addressing them both. "Eh, would you happen to know whereabouts Captain Veleth is this time of day?"

Vanya straightened up in the chair, intrigued. "Hard to say, I would try his office first. Is something wrong?"

She paused to consider for a moment before she answered. "I hope not." She gave them a stiff grin and turned away, heading for Morvayn Manor.

Vanya looked back to Milore with a shrug, then returned to her task of creaming the Imp Stool, hunting down chunks to smash with the pestle. The way news traveled around, if anything was going on she was sure to hear about it sooner or later.

"Once you're finished with that," Milore said as she poured water from a bucket into a cauldron. "Scrape the Imp Stool into here." She leaned down to light the fire underneath. "Simmer until it has a good froth on the top, then toss the chitin in. Since I've got some time now that I don't have to break it up, I'm going to sort those feathers. Come and get me when the chitin is ready or if anyone wants to buy something." She made her way back to the door but before she could go inside Vanya stopped her.

"Wait! How will I know the chitin is softened enough?"

"Oh, um..." Milore's eyes darted around at the various tools laying about before landing on Vanya's hip. "Ah, poke it with that blade of yours. If it cuts like cheese, it's ready."

With that, Vanya was left to her task, enjoying herself by watching the bustle of the market. Even the troll fat wasn't bothering her anym- no, that was a lie. It was still gross. At least she could no longer smell it.


	50. Whispers of a Storm

"You," Teldryn pointed lazily at the remaining guards. "Let's see what you've got."

He took up his stance as the three dunmer spread out in an arc around him, their body language hesitant after watching their peers get knocked into the ash. Teldryn smirked under his cowl as one of the guards on the sidelines called out, "C'mon Salyn, you're the best of us! Take him!"

Well, now he knew who to humiliate first.

Three blades flashed at him at once. He knocked one down, swinging his sword upward to parry the next, then stepping back swiftly to catch the third overhead, twisting his blade as he pushed it down in an attempt to disarm. Salyn managed to hold on, barely, but if he were smarter he'd have let it go. Teldryn swiped his blunted blade up under the man's armpit hard enough to bruise, then since he'd managed to get behind him, gave him a kick in the rear for good measure. The way the ash puffed up around these whelps as they fell made Teldryn appreciate being on the beach rather than in the training yard.

The other two stepped over their beaten ally, spreading apart as they neared, obviously meaning to close in on him from both sides. Just as Teldryn sensed they would attack, he lashed out to his left, pressing the soldier back, further from his companion. This one could parry all day it seemed so Teldryn relented, letting the man get in a quick jab, punishing him with a riposte that hit him square in the helmet. As that one reared back from the hit, Teldryn spun to knock away the blade headed for his back, his momentum knocking the man's sword arm wide. Teldryn stepped forward quickly, staggering the man with an elbow across the chin, then finishing him off by ramming his pommel into his bonemold helmet. His blade was already in position as he turned back to face the recovered final opponent, who'd thought he had an open shot judging by all the noise he was making and how high his sword was raised. Teldryn leaped at him with a reciprocal cry, driving the blade into his chest plate until he lost his footing and landed flat on his back.

As the ash settled, Teldryn wiggled the tip of the blade free from the prone man's armor, causing him to groan a bit from the jostling.

"Are you training or demoralizing?"

The guards stood to attention with their fists over their hearts, the one on the ground scrambling up to join them as Teldryn turned to see Modyn standing a few paces away. The captain beckoned with his fingers. "I need a word."

Teldryn swept his finger across the eight guards, addressing them, "You all think about everything you did to earn those bruises. When I come back we'll talk about how to avoid that in the future." He looked back to Modyn, tugging his cowl down then lifting off his helmet. "See? I'm not just beating them up."

The corner of Modyn's mouth twitched and he cocked his head to the side, indicating for Teldryn to follow as he walked further from the troops. When they were out of earshot, Modyn stopped, his dark eyes suddenly revealing his stress.

"We may have a problem."

The captain's features were drawn, making the years on them more apparent.

"An East Empire Trading Company ship was spotted to the north," he said gravely. "And I doubt they're looking to do business with the Skaal."

"Shit," Teldryn muttered. There was only one reason he could think of that they would be going up that way. "They'll be going for Broken Tusk mine," he added, looking vaguely north as if he could see it from where they stood.

The captain gave a curt nod. "That was my thought as well."

The mine had been overrun with reiklings for many years until Roggir had decided to raze the area after those little goblins had harried them one too many times while they tried to help the people of the Skaal village. Now the mine sat empty, free for the taking.

"Have you set up a garrison there?" Teldryn asked, snapping his eyes back to the captain.

"It's been on my list," he replied tiredly. "I've only just sent prospectors to Damphall and you see the state these men are in, I can hardly get them in and up to an acceptable standard fast enough to staff the town guard, let alone begin such an acquisition."

"What are you going to do?"

"I need a scout familiar with the area to find out exactly what they're up to." Modyn's pointed look communicated exceedingly clear that he wanted Teldryn for the job. "Then I'll  _dissuade_  them from whatever the fuck it is." The captain shifted uncomfortably and Teldryn knew he was trying to keep his exasperation from showing in front of his men. "I have less than a fortnight before Redoran nobility steps on these shores," he said tightly. "The last thing I need is the bloody fingers of the Empire poking around."

He stepped closer with a sharp, penetrating gaze. "If it is the mine, I want to know who gave them the idea to come looking after all this time. I know Roggir is not an Empire sympathizer by any means, but the prospect of a stake in a silver mine could certainly sway some loyalties. You know him better than I, what do you think?"

"Ah, I didn't exactly get around to discussing investments," Teldryn said lightly, sobering quickly under the Modyn's unwavering stare. "But uh..." He considered what he knew of Roggir. The man had not expressed the slightest interest in the mine at the time, but he could be hard to read. Still, The Dragonborn had not given him the impression of being driven by wealth, or in need of it. "...that doesn't seem like him."

"I thought not." Modyn's countenance did not improve with this conclusion in the least. He seemed more agitated now, still as a statue, the wheels of his mind turning furiously behind shadowed eyes.

Teldryn put a voice to his old friend's thoughts. "There's only one man on this island with connections to the East Empire Trading Company."

"If it hadn't been for Dreyla I'd have tossed that old man into the sea long ago," Modyn hissed, his composure wavering. "Now I'm to threaten my marriage because of his deluded ambitions. I  _will not_  have them gain a foothold on Solstheim."

Teldryn watched as the captain smoothed the sneer from his face and tried to calm his breathing. "Do you think she will leave you if you exile her father?"

"How am I to know?" Modyn clipped out. There was a drawn-out silence as the captain stared into the distance toward the sharp elevation of Hvitkald, the narrow mountain peak whose view touched nearly the entire southwestern shore. "She would understand," he said, his voice quiet enough the statement seemed more of a self-assurance.

Teldryn felt short of breath. Modyn adored Dreyla, had spent more than a decade courting her. Would he truly risk throwing that all away for a silver mine? "And if not..." he ventured.

"If not I'll burn that fucking house to cinders with my own two hands," Modyn seethed as he turned to Teldryn, brandishing his hands, the force of his magicka apparent. "Solstheim is Redoran territory and it will stay that way so long as I'm here."

"And at any cost," Teldryn scorned, immediately regretting letting the words fall from his brain.

"Watch your mouth, you petulant child," Modyn said dangerously, teeth bared and Teldryn would not have been surprised if he caught a fist in the face at that moment. "It's time you grew up, Teldryn Sero. You are my brother but I will only tolerate your attitude for so long." Teldryn leaned his head away from the captain's breath, accepting his tongue lashing for the moment. "We made our choices long ago, your father included." Teldryn met Modyn's eyes then, warning silently not to speak any further on the subject. The only choice  _they_  had made was to give their autonomy over to a faceless entity, willing to sacrifice the hearts of those who loved them for prestige and some vague notion of communal glory. At least he could lay full claim to the consequences of his own choices, right or wrong as they had been. Decades of discordant ideals hung between them as they stared at one another, and Teldryn knew for his part, he was not willing to give an inch.

Recognizing the impasse, Modyn stepped away. "I'd like for a few of these scribs to get some field experience." His tone of voice reverting back to business with astonishing speed. "Pick the ones you hate the least and begin your preparations. You leave tomorrow." He started to walk away but stopped just as Teldryn opened his mouth to remind the captain he was not one of his underlings, and certainly not going to take green men along. "And don't worry," Modyn said as he leaned back in, his voice dripping with disdain. "I'll see to it you're paid well."

Teldryn bit his tongue, fitting his helmet back onto his head as he watched the older man stalk away.

_Fucking right you will._

* * *

Vanya jolted awake when her head hit the page of the book laid out on the bed. She rubbed her eyes, wishing she had a watch to tell how long she'd been laying here scanning the same paragraph as she waited up for Teldryn. It wasn't the first time he'd stayed out late, but he hadn't mentioned going to play dice tonight. And there was the fact that she hadn't seen him at all since this morning, not even for supper. She tried to ignore the unsettled feeling in her stomach that reminded her of the last time he'd broken his routine. The sight of his pack in the corner calmed her nerves.  _He wouldn't leave without that._

Her eyes crawled across the page, the final one of the book that Teldryn had gone and spoiled this morning. She hadn't been very interested in finishing it after that, but she had nothing else to read. Fethis' market stand had been closed earlier in the afternoon when she'd gone to see if he had a book on archery. He never closed that early. What was going on today?

She just needed to finish this stupid book and then try and get some sleep. She put her finger on the page, forcing herself to read the words.

_Having enjoyed the sport I offered, he granted me mercy, of sorts. I was not bled dry. I was not cursed by being made one of them. I was kept with others, most of us mad with fear, to be aged and tasted at the vampires' whim. We are called cattle._

_I lost all hope months ago of ever leaving the dank cellar where they keep us. Even if this note finds its way to the outside world, I cannot give enough information about my whereabouts to be rescued, even if some champion were able to defeat the bloodsuckers. I only write this to keep my own sanity, and to warn others._

_There is something worse than being hungry._

_Being food._

She folded the book closed, her heart beating wildly in protest for subjecting it to something like this. She had never had a problem reading stories about vampires, but that had been in a world where they were the product of imagination. She didn't have to ask someone to know that they existed here and even though that chilled her blood, it was that ending that was making her chest constrict. It was too familiar, too real...

Suddenly, she could not bear to be on this bed, closed in this room, alone.

She dressed quickly, strapped her dagger to her waist and headed out into the tavern, her shawl tightly wrapped around her shoulders. The empty tavern was still too dark and cramped so she made her way out into the market. Despite the ash that kicked up as she swung open the door, she took a deep breath as if she'd walked out into crisp mountain air.

Comforted by the sight of the well, she walked toward it to sit on the edge. The twin moons were visible and she leaned back against a wooden support as she searched for stars between breaks in the ever-present shroud that hugged this place, insulating it as if to preserve a way of life that was different to anywhere else on Nirn.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of a door creaking, and she blinked away the veil of sleep that she'd unknowingly fallen under. A group of guards filed out of Morvayn Manor, followed by Captain Veleth, then Teldryn. Sitting up with no small amount of relief, she wondered if they really had just been gambling? If that was true, it had been a bad night for all of them with how tense they seemed. The guards and the captain headed toward the Bulwark, and Teldryn toward the Netch. He paused in the middle of the road when he saw her.

* * *

Gods, he was tired.

She looked beautiful sitting there on the well, watching him with those dark eyes that pulled him in, transporting him to some secret realm that was only for them. No listening to an old man stumbling through excuses, or watching grown men point fingers at each other, bickering about who should have done what, arguing over inane politics. At the very least he'd convinced Modyn to give up on saddling him with new recruits. As he approached Vanya, he lamented that he'd wasted so much time sitting through all of that discussion, at the same time realizing why he had done so. This was going to be far more difficult than any of that.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, running his hands over her shoulders. She reached out, fingers pressing onto a few scuffs in his armor that he'd gotten earlier in the day.

"Couldn't sleep." Her eyes raised to his again.

He brought a hand up behind her neck, pressing his forehead to hers, all the noise that had been steadily growing in his mind calming as the small points of contact resonated through him. "Khes'yi," he said softly, almost a plea though he could not say for what. He stepped back, taking one of her hands to tug her up from the well. "Let's go inside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay 50 chapters! I'm super happy about that but also a little horrified since I'm only FIVE chapters ahead in writing now. That's terrifying!(Maybe I should stop playing The Sims 3 so much xD) If things progress somewhere within the ballpark of my plans then I suspect we will reach around 70 chapters by the end of this part of the story, BUT that is not the end. Not by a long shot! I have to break it up otherwise this would just get stupidly long, plus I think the formatting will be a little different. Maybe bring in some new perspectives and new environments, but until then we'll stay cozy with Teldryn, Vanya, and Solstheim. Cozy is probably not the most accurate word though...


	51. The Ghosts of Promises

She let go of his hand as they entered the room, dropping her shawl and dagger next to the bed as she reached it. That cursed book still laid among the sheets so she moved it to the nightstand as she sat down on the edge of the mattress, thinking she might toss it into the waves next time she was on the beach. Teldryn was by the table throwing off his armor carelessly, his mind obviously far away.

All the questions she wanted to ask piled up in her throat but she swallowed them down. Whatever it was that was bothering him, he would tell her if he wanted. She really hoped he would.

Down to his shirt and pants, he stood on the other side of the room, facing away, and she expected that he would go for his pipe next. Instead, he turned and headed for the bed, scratching his chin as he crossed the room. He sat down next to her and picked up one of her hands, looking everywhere but her face and she felt a tightness in her chest at his strange behavior.

"No doubt you're wondering where I've been today," he said, finally glancing at her. She nodded. He ran his tongue over his teeth, taking a deep breath through his nose, looking as if he was struggling with where to begin. His thumb caressed the back of her hand as he spoke. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

The words hit her like a wave, crashing in her ears as a command bombarded her mind.  _You can't leave me._ Her chest swelled, the thought wanting to escape through her mouth, and even if she allowed it the way her lungs were twisting inside her would have held it back. She knew this would happen, what he did, who he was, but it had been a worry for another day. And though he was still here, holding her hand, assuaging her secret fear that he'd disappear without a trace, the tears lined her eyes all the same and she almost wished he had.

* * *

"No, no, no," he said quickly as her eyes spilled over. "Don't cry." He brought up his hands to wipe her cheeks, cradling her face as he tried his best to keep his voice light. "I'm just going up north to have a little look around," he assured, encouraged by the way she blinked at him hopefully. "Less than a week and I'll be back." With any luck, it was the truth. It was simple scouting mission, but he'd had things go sideways before.

She seemed to be calming with his explanation and he kicked himself for not starting with that.  _S'wit._

"Th- That's not so bad," she choked out through sniffles, making him wince with regret. One of these days he might figure out how to quit making her cry.

"Khes'yi...," he said as he raked his fingers into her hair, taking in her lovely features, feeling as though he'd mourn each expression he missed while he was away. The sardonic curve of her lips when she scolded him, the gleam in her eye that could be both at once wicked and demure, the way her skin glowed so warm in the candlelight as if she were Saint Almalexia herself. Were she to ask him at this moment to stay, he was not certain he could deny her.

"Only a few days," he said, to himself as much as her, leaning forward to caress his lips across her cheek. He would do the job that he had promised and find out what was going on then wash his hands of it. It would be Modyn's problem then.

* * *

She closed her eyes as his hands ran through her hair. Her head was swimming, exhausted from the tumult that had been wearing on her. She focused on the warm kisses that were moving slowly toward the corner of her mouth, the shadow in her mind receding. He stopped, pulling away and she opened her eyes again, meeting a gaze that burned into her causing a sudden flicker in a dark, abandoned place inside her; in that void that was as full as it was empty. She dropped her eyes, searching desperately for something to smother that which would smoke out the unspoken anguish, the ghost that would tear her apart upon his escape.

She grazed her fingers across the fabric of Teldryn's shirt. "Your clothes are filthy," she said quietly.

She hated the relief she felt as he straightened back up, trying to catch the breath that he took with him.

"That's easily remedied," he said with a smirk, reaching back to tug the shirt over his head.

 _There goes my breath again._  It was as if she was seeing him for the first time, he was so beautiful. Her fingertips followed her gaze over his chest, down to his stomach, back up to his shoulder, over lean muscles that were built through purpose. The expanse of gray contrasting sharply to her olive tone as she ran her hand up to his chin, over the scar that she now understood indicated a far more serious injury than she initially thought. There were others on his arms and torso and she wondered how he would have looked without the marvel that was healing magic.

He caught her wrist and she brought her eyes up once again. "Lay with me," she breathed, meaning it genuinely, her desire not to lose herself, only to be close to him. He pushed up from the bed, grasping her hand to lead her to do the same.

With a faint smirk still on his lips, he lifted her shirt and camisole together over her head, running his hands down her back as she lowered her arms to reach for the laces of his pants. It wasn't erotic as she tugged at them, not as it had been before. There was a purity in their actions as they disrobed each other, as if it were only natural.

His touch was hot against the bare skin of her ribs as he nudged her backward until her legs hit the edge of the mattress. She sat down, scooting back toward the wall, settling under the blanket as he laid down next to her. She couldn't resist tossing a portion of the blanket over him, giggling as she curled her arms around his waist, intertwining her legs with his while he straightened the fabric out.

* * *

"Excuse me," he said with a laugh as she entangled him like a creeping vine. "Two can play at that game." He grabbed the blanket around her, using it to pull her flush against him. Her hands pushed against his chest as she squeaked in anticipation of his next move, managing to get her neck out of reach of his mouth just in time. She knew him too well.

Part of him wanted very much to push her onto her back, spread her open and become a part of her but he tempered himself for the moment, both because he understood what she had asked for and- to be honest- the rest of him was plain exhausted. That didn't mean he couldn't enjoy her intoxicating curves that seemed to be created for his hands, which he made very liberal use of as he closed the distance that she'd put between them.

"This is nice," he murmured, fully content to be wrapped up in her with her head resting on his arm, the heat of her breath spreading over his neck causing every muscle in his body to surrender to his quickly drifting consciousness.

"Are you leaving first thing?" He peeled his eyes back open at the sound of her voice, blinking himself awake as her question registered.

"It's best I leave as early as possible," he said, nuzzling to top of her head. "But I don't have to."

He felt her body stiffening, the serenity from moments before giving way to a cold, uneasy silence. "Oh, speaking of tomorrow morning," he added lightly. "You'll be pleased to hear that Modyn is moving the guar early."

"Really? Why?"

"I suppose he doesn't want to have to train his men on the beach while I'm gone," he replied, leaving unsaid that Modyn would be drilling them in the event whatever the East Empire Company was doing would require force to deter. "And it won't hurt for it to have a few more days to air out."

"That's the truth," she groused, tucking her head under his chin. "It's starting to stink even in the temple."

He chuckled, satisfied that she had relaxed into him once again. Gods, he would miss this. He could not be sure he'd ever known a more restful sleep than when he held her through the night. A long, slow breath filled him with her familiar aroma, the exhale releasing him to ambient peace.

* * *

 _Only a few days._ She tried to hold onto his words but they kept slipping from her grasp. She remembered the stories he'd told of his travels, the marks on his body confirming them. He could not make her promises, whether he meant to or not. Not someone like him.

She tightened her arm around his back, clinging to him as he slept soundly. In all this time, she had never asked him which god he preferred- whom he had referred to as a patron. She made a mental note to find out before he left, intent on pestering the deity to make his words to her come true.

 _Azura, please,_ she prayed fervently, thankful that her hair would absorb the tears that were fighting their way out of her closed eyes.  _Please watch over him for me._

_I need him._


	52. Revelations in Red

He had not even made a plan yet. He and Modyn had discussed his task the previous day but the particulars were left to him and he had not even spared a thought. There had been no room in his mind when he had spent his morning coming up with every possible reason to stay in bed with that soft, inviting,  _wicked_  little temptress. He tapped the back of his head against the wall as he waited for Vanya to return from taking their breakfast dishes to the kitchen. Time was running short and he could hardly believe he was thinking it, but- he didn't want to leave. No, that wasn't quite right. He had plenty of desire to strike out and see more of the world. He didn't want to leave  _her._

As she emerged from the kitchen, he stood up, deciding that he'd just have to make his plans on the way.

* * *

The tavern was completely empty except for Teldryn. Everyone else was out at the yard watching the procession of guar being moved out to Nathala's nearly restored farm and Vanya was struck with a sudden feeling of déjà vu as Teldryn hoisted his pack to his shoulder, his helmet tucked under his arm.

She wondered if he felt it, too. Like everything was different but at the same time as if nothing had changed. A small smile pulled at her lips as she realized she was even planning to continue the conversation from the night in question.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, causing her to laugh a little while she tugged the helmet out from under his arm, setting it on her head as she walked backward toward the stairs. He followed her with an amused look.

"Who is your Patron?" she asked as her foot hit the first step.

His expression twisted into confusion as he palmed the helmet, lifting it from her head. "I would think that was obvious," he said as he started up the stairs.

She rolled her eyes as she turned to join him. "Well, it's not."

"Boethiah," he drawled. "The Dark Warrior, The Goddess of Destruction..."

"And the Prince of Plots!" she interrupted as he pushed the door of the Netch open. "I suppose I see the whole fighting thing, but lying and backstabbing? treason?"

"Is everything so cut and dry to you?" He glanced down at her with an arched brow. "Let me ask you this, do you believe those in authority are always right? What is treason to some is liberation to others."

Her steps faltered for a moment as she considered. "I...guess it would depend on the circumstances." She caught up to him as he passed by the well. "Elder Othreloth has never quite put it that way, he kind of talks in circles."

"You've heard too much of his long-winded preaching. I'll put it to you this way..." He rounded on her with a solemn expression. "The strongest get to choose what they won't die for."

Now it was her turn to be confused. Was he really just saying he believed in survival of the fittest? Surely there was more to it than that.

He patted around on the pockets of his armor, his brow furrowing."Shit, I've forgotten that I meant to get some guar jerky from the barracks." He sighed as he peered up toward the ruckus around the Bulwark. "Do you want to come with me?"

She scrunched her nose up, shaking her head. "I'll wait here."

He smirked and gave a quick nod, then turned to head up the path. She watched him for a moment, her thoughts drifting along with her eyes until they landed on the old chair near Milore's alchemy table. She walked toward it.

 _The strongest get to choose what they won't die for_. What did that mean exactly?

She sat down, picking up a dried blue mountain flower from a bundle that had been left on the table. She plucked one of the petals, crunching it a little between her fingers before placing it on her tongue.

Wasn't it a great virtue to be willing to sacrifice for others? In all the stories she knew, those that died in the pursuit of what was right were lauded as heros. To turn away and live, leaving others to knowingly suffer, that could not be what he meant. It sounded selfish and cruel and while she could not deny he could be those things, she knew he was not heartless- so very far from it.

She spun the flower, a shower of petals falling into her lap. She gathered them up, adding them to the one in her mouth as the pleasant wash of their healing properties warmed her.

She knew well, though, that she was given a side of him that others were not. Who was he out there, beyond the walls of Raven Rock, in this turbulent world which he seemed to walk into with complete confidence?

She pulled off the last petal, placing it between her lips to rub them against the delicate surface.  _What would he die for?_

What would she die for?

The rapid pattering of feet got her attention and she turned to see a flash of black hair followed by a bouncing bronze ponytail.

"Give her back!"

Vanya stood up and leaned over the alchemy table, watching Llero sprint down the path toward the south, Beniel hot on his heels. The boy squealed in delight when she almost caught his shirt.

 _Don't go too far._  The command was on her tongue but they were already out of ear-shot. She walked toward the well, craning her neck to see the crowd near the training yard, checking if their parents were following. Nobody else was coming her way and Teldryn was taking his sweet time, it seemed. With a huff, she started down the path to collect the children. Teldryn would be going this way when he left, so she knew she wouldn't miss him.

As she walked she looked over the houses in various states of construction, smiling when she saw the large pots set out on Dreyla's porch awaiting their imported flowers. When she reached the edge of town, she slowed, straining her ears, eyes scanning for any sign of the little ones. They knew better than to go further than this. Perhaps they'd gone around to the dock without her seeing them?

Just as she turned to check, she caught movement in the corner of her eye, whipping her head back to see Beniel stumbling out from the edge of the mass of dead trees that marked the beginning of the Hirstaang forest.  _Gods, what are they doing over there?_

"Beni!" Vanya started toward the girl, her heart dropping when she saw the doll clutched in the girl's hand. "Where is Llero?" she cried as they neared each other.

Beniel looked around frantically. "He was with me! He was right behind me!" She began to sob. "The- the- the wolves got him!"

 _No._ Vanya grabbed the girl's face, turning it upward to pull her from her panic. "Beni, run and get help. Go!"

The girl took off up the path without hesitation, screaming for her mother. Vanya's legs were already carrying her toward the woods.  _No, no, no._

She skidded to a stop at the perimeter of the gnarled trees that were the first thing she had seen in this world. What was she doing? She couldn't-

A faint cry reached her ears from somewhere within the tangle of dead forest and her feet moved of their own accord. There was no time. "Llero!" she called, ignoring the downed branches that clawed at her pants, scraping her ankles. She tripped over a sharp rock as she climbed the steep incline deeper into the trees, pulling herself back up with a whimper as her knee pulsed with pain. Reaching the top of the hill, she took a breath to call for him again, her throat clamping shut as her insides turned to liquid.

A massive, white wolf stood over the boy's limp body, its jaws dug into his shoulder with a large paw across his back. Her hand fell to her dagger, its hilt bringing her a measure of comfort despite that fact her mind had gone completely blank. The red around the beast's mouth snapped her from her daze, the sight of Llero's mop of hair slicked with blood unveiling the truth of the decision before her. It was either him or the wolf.

With a wordless cry, she pulled her dagger as she rushed the wolf whose eyes flicked to her as its teeth bared, though it did not release its prey. Her legs were swept out from under her, a sharp pain shooting up from her right calf and she twisted on the ground to see another wolf, its teeth dug deep into her flesh. She raised her hand, only then noticing she'd dropped her dagger and she twisted back to her stomach to find it. The wolf's mouth clamped harder and it shook its head. Her vision went white as she cried out, feeling each tear as her leg was shred, reaching out blindly on the ground for her dagger. She gasped when she felt it, closing her fingers on the hilt and throwing herself back toward the wolf on her leg, screaming with each hit as she plunged the dagger anywhere she could reach. The animal whined, the pressure on her leg loosening. Finally, it released her and she didn't even look to see if it was dying, quickly turning back to the larger beast who would soon regret its choice of a meal.

Her injured leg gave out as she pushed to her feet but she felt nothing, nothing but white-hot desperation as she limped closer. Gripping her dagger tightly, she launched herself onto the wolf before it could turn, the edge of the blade scraping against bone until it found a soft place and she used her weight to drive it in. The animal howled, its blood-soaked maw lashed out at her, catching her left arm in the vice of its jaws as she raised it reflexively. Its head jerked, trying to yank her off and she screamed at the fresh pain, panting as she pulled the dagger from the wolf's back. She had to end this. She punched the tip of the dagger into its neck, gritting her teeth as she tore savagely with all her remaining strength to open its throat.

Her arm was free, the wolf staggering away, blood spattering heavily as it shook its head before collapsing.

 _Llero._  Her hands slipped clumsily on the red forest floor as she crawled toward the small boy, lying face down, his shoulder chewed to pulp. She reached out with her injured arm, a stream of blood dripping from the tips of her fingers. "Llero?"

She felt more than heard a low growl, tingling up her spine as she raised her eyes to see another wolf, glistening white teeth bared and hair bristling as it inched closer. Her breath left her as she stared into its hungry eyes and she lowered her hand over the boy protectively, grasping at his unharmed shoulder. The smell of blood overwhelmed her senses, and she tried to lift the dagger that suddenly seemed to be made of lead. This was it. She had no more. "I tried," she breathed.

The air seemed to pull tighter as the wolf reared back to pounce, her ears deaf to anything but her final ragged breaths. She blinked as an arrow slammed into the wolf's eye with such force that it was thrown to the ground, twitching as its growl became a death rattle.

She felt as if she were suspended in water as she turned her head, meeting sharp turquoise eyes. Gael crouched over Llero, saying something but Vanya only stared, uncomprehending. Finally, Gael pried her fingers from the boy, bringing her back to her body. She looked down at the dagger in her trembling hand, letting it fall to the ground as the last few moments registered in her mind.

"Llero!" the panicked voice of a woman pierced the air. "Julekil'yi! Julekil'yi!" the dunmer wailed, healing rushing from her hands to the boy as Gael lifted him from the ground. At the sight of his wounds responding to the healing, someone cried, "He yet lives!"

"Quickly, to Milore!" said another.

 _He yet lives._ Tears streamed down her face, red even as they fell to mix with the blood on the ground.  _He yet lives._

A rough hand slid around the side of her head, tilting her face up and she looked into crimson eyes as she felt herself being laid back on the ground. He looked worried. The corner of her mouth curled up. "He yet lives," she assured him as the red faded to black.

* * *

Blood. He couldn't tell what was hers and she was so pale. Teldryn pulled his dagger and sliced open her tunic, feeling slight relief that only her arm was the source. He pressed the skin together best that he could and tried to heal enough to slow the bleeding until they could fully assess the extent of the damage. He paused when he heard a sharp gasp, looking over to see Bralsa had opened Vanya's breeches, revealing the mangled state of her leg. The hairs on his neck stood as he scooted down to examine closer. Bits of white peeked out between the ribbons of flesh, the even flow of blood from the wound sparking panic.

"We have to stop the bleeding," he said hoarsely.

"The bones are broken, they will need to be set first," Bralsa said, her voice trembling.

"You can do it?"

She nodded curtly.

He removed his cowl and twisted it up, clenching his jaw as he turned back to Vanya's head. She may be passed out now, but not for much longer. He tucked the fabric between her teeth then pressed his arms against her shoulders, the edges of the cowl pulled taut between his fingers.

"Do it."

Her eyes snapped open, her teeth gnashing against the cowl that did nothing to muffle her scream. She struggled against him, her cries turning to sobs and he leaned down, soothing in her ear. "It will be over soon, Khes'yi. It will be over soon." Her movements began to slow, her breaths becoming quick and short, punctuated with pained whimpers that made him weak.

"Help me," Bralsa pleaded and he let go of the cowl, the weight of his own body seemed enormous as he pushed himself up. Bralsa was sitting on Vanya's leg to hold it still, her hands glowing as she pieced the flesh back together somewhat uncertainly. "I can hardly tell what's what," she breathed.

"It's not going to be exact," he said as he pressed a deep gash together, pouring everything he had into her. "Just do what you can." This kind of healing would scar badly but it was not worth her life to risk a more delicate process. With how pale she was, he was just glad she was healing so steadily. The few harrowing minutes felt like hours by the time they stopped, her crudely mended wounds still raw and seeping but no longer threatening to bleed her out.

Bralsa slid off Vanya's leg and sat on the ground, leaning back on her arms for support. "I'm out," she huffed.

He still had some magicka left but Vanya was out of danger for the moment and he didn't want to heal any more before Milore's more practiced eye could look her over. She had spit the cowl from her mouth, her breath shallow and eyes glazed over from the overdose of healing. He leaned over her, picking up the cowl to wipe away the blood and grime that marred her face.

"Teldryn," Bralsa interrupted with a hand on his wrist. "We should move her now, before the soothe wears off."

He nodded, setting aside the cowl and lifting her into his arms as gently as he could, Bralsa helping to stabilize her injured limbs. Her head rested against his pauldron as he stood up and he watched Bralsa peel away a lock of hair that was sticking to the drying blood on her neck.

"She'll be alright," she said.

"Thank you." His voice was weak and unfamiliar to his ears.

Her face pinched as if in pain as she caressed Vanya's cheek, her eyes sliding up to his. "I love her, too."

He watched, dumbstruck, as she turned away. He began to follow her in a daze, inattentive to the world around him, fixated on her admission that had identified something he had not known was there. Now that it was revealed he was helpless to deny it.

_I love her._


	53. The Wake of Her Wrath

The detritus crunched under his boots, the occasional step muffled by the patches of blood soaking the undergrowth. Vanya had been swept from his arms at Milore's house, Bralsa answering questions before he could form a thought, Niyya crowding him out as if he weren't there at all. Unable to stand by uselessly, he had followed his feet as they led him back to the scene that he found easier to stomach.

Teldryn stopped next to the first wolf, the jaws that had torn her leg yawning open in a final bloody snarl. Eight times she had stabbed it, along its neck and one shoulder.

He tracked her blood along the ground, mapping out her movements. The trail merged into the wide stain where the wounds of all had left their mark. A depression indicated where the boy had lain, the scattered brush next to it where her struggle with the larger wolf had taken place. Teldryn's breathing hitched. Her screams had pulled at him as he ran, fast as he could but not near fast enough. Then all had gone quiet, a horror he'd never known rising as he'd crashed through the trees. Silence meant death.

He gazed over at the beast that was more red than white, stepping closer to observe the gaping hole in its neck. A bitter chuckle escaped him. He'd trained her in the hope that she could defend herself should trouble find her, not for her to fling herself headlong into it. Part of him cursed her for so stubbornly refusing to wear even a bit of her armor. The final wolf laid a few paces away with Gael's arrow embedded deeply into its eye, its pristine appearance compared to the other two a testament to the battle that Vanya had endured. If it could only have been  _anyone_  else.

_But she lives. It only matters that she lives._

His cowl stood out to him from the ground, brighter against the drying blood in that place where he'd come upon her as she looked up at him with frightening tranquility. He approached it slowly, picking it up, turning it over in his hands as if it were unfamiliar.

How long had he loved her?

He rubbed the cloth between his fingers as he thought back on their time together, trying to pinpoint when exactly he'd allowed her to become a part of him, wondering if he'd really had any choice. Every moment with her seemed to blur into one; a single candle that had lit him from the inside, consuming him with a satiating heat that already grieved him with how quickly it would burn through. The smudges on the fabric where he'd wiped her face caused a memory of a night in the tavern and her glittering eyes to seize his mind.

_'At least your cowl is already red.'_

He squeezed his eyes shut, bringing the cowl to his lips, holding his breath to suffocate the agony that was climbing up his throat.

"Boethiah's Victory..."

Teldryn took a breath, opening his eyes at the sound of Modyn's solemn voice. The cowl was wet and he hastily dried his face, setting his jaw as the captain approached, appraising the grisly scene in much the same way he had. Modyn bent over to retrieve the dagger, nodding lightly as he straightened back up. "Two full-grown ice-wolves with only a dagger?

Teldryn made no reply, watching as Modyn examined the dagger for a few more moments then turned the blade, holding the hilt out to him. He took it, wiping the blood away and tucking it under one of the straps of his chest plate as the captain stepped closer, focused on the corpse behind him.

"I've never seen ice-wolves this far south," Modyn said. "I've sent Gael and a few others to track and ward off any more that may be roaming around nearby."

It wasn't the thought of wolves that was making the burning in Teldryn's eyes give way to his fury. The animals had been displaced by someone, and the Skaal would not have been so careless about it.

"You know what this means, Teldryn. We've caught on much later than we should have. They'll be dug in like ticks up there, thinking they've laid a rightful claim."

Teldryn smirked, despite himself. "Then we had better pull them out by the head."

A flicker of approval passed through Modyn's eye. The captain, ever pragmatic, meant to use him and he meant to allow it. For once, their goals were aligned- albeit for very different reasons.

"Take some of my men with you," Modyn said with sudden energy. "Not green men, some of my best. And the old man." At Teldryn's skeptical look, he steeled his gaze in return. "It's not ideal but we should at least make a try for a bloodless resolution. Fethis is the one who invited this fuckery, he can lay his  _connections_  on the line to put an end to it."

The idea of taking a soft approach irked Teldryn's vengeful side, not to mention the invitation for treachery. "How do you know he won't side with them?"

"I don't. But according to him, they went behind his back as well. I suppose he has a choice to make."

"And if he chooses wrong?"

"That's what you're there for. I believe I've laid out my desire for this to end as diplomatically as possible, more fool me for sending a sell-sword who has never taken to listening." Teldryn's mouth twitched and Modyn quirked his brow up and for a fleeting moment it was as if they were in Blacklight again, conspiring some prank that would send him vaulting from balconies and scaling walls while Modyn ran interference. Their grim surroundings served as a stark reminder that they had come a long way from their youthful mischief. Modyn resumed his stern expression as he continued, "The men joining you will defer to your direction. Whatever you need to do to ensure the East Empire Trading Company gets the message, do it."

* * *

In his room in the Netch, Teldryn rubbed his forehead as he stared at the blank parchment on the table, his eyes drifting to the pile of ash next to it, the previous attempts at a missive that he'd set aflame in frustration. He wanted to say everything and nothing, each note so far taking on one extreme; either disorganized and wordy, or curt to the point that he might as well not bother.

What he really wanted was to look into Vanya's eyes and hold her close, to finally put words to the actions that he had not even understood himself until today. That desire was impossible for the moment as Milore had given her a sleeping draught in order to clean and mend her wounds properly. He would be long gone before she awakened and though she knew he was leaving, everything had changed. Everything. The shift so monumental that smears of ink on paper could not do justice to all he wanted her to know.

Still, there were things she needed to know. He would be gone longer than originally anticipated and perhaps not return before the next ship from Morrowind arrived. Had he even mentioned his mother's visit to Vanya? As he sifted through recent memory he realized he hadn't. There had never been any reason to bring it up. He sighed as it occurred to him he'd need to write another note for his mother in the event he was delayed.

Time was at his back, prodding him to quit squandering it. Dipping the quill into the ink, he wrote out what was necessary, not letting himself overthink. Once finished, he gave both missives a cursory read, not incredibly pleased with either but they would have to do. He folded the one for his mother then hesitated before folding the one for Vanya. He grabbed the quill and quickly scrawled one last line, not quite sure why he felt compelled to do so but as he watched the ink dry he knew it was right.

With both missives folded and labeled, he tucked Vanya's into one of his pockets then crossed the room to set the other in the drawer of the sidetable. He slid his pack over his shoulder, grunting with annoyance at the sight of his bloodied cowl that he'd tossed down next to it. There was no time to wash it. He blew air through pursed lips, stopping when he spotted the dark blue shawl hanging over the back of the chair. He smiled as he walked over to it, picking it up and bringing it to his nose with a deep breath. It smelled like her. He draped it around his neck without any further thought and left the room.

* * *

A strong mixture of odors wafted out from the door as Milore let him in. All her cauldrons were steaming, large and small, the air thick and warm in the house that was now nearly silent except for the bubbling. Along the wall near the door, he saw a makeshift cot covered in a pile of blankets, the only indication it was more than that was the sniffling dunmer woman sitting next to it obscuring the small boy from view.

"He'll lose the arm," Milore whispered up to him.

He had not known the extent of the child's injury and had truthfully thought him dead in Gael's arms as he'd passed by. It had been a close thing. "He's lucky."

"You're right," Milore said, pinching his elbow. "But keep that to yourself, hm?" He nearly grinned at her admonishing only he spotted Vanya on Garyn's chaise on the far side of the room. "Come." Milore pressed on his arm.

Vanya's face was turned toward the wall as she slept, a blanket covering her except for the wounded leg that Niyya was seated next to, dabbing ointment over a patchwork of stitches that twisted in chaotic patterns across her deeply bruised flesh.

"She will recover but it will take time, your quick healing surely saved her leg."

Milore touched Niyya's shoulder and she looked up, immediately rising from her chair with a gasp. "Oh, Teldryn! It's just awful, I'm so sorry." Her eyes were red and glistening and for once he did not mind her hysteria. "She'll be fine though, I swear it. We've given her potions to keep the wounds from festering and I've made a cream with egg yolks to help with the scarring..."

"Niyya, please," Milore interrupted gently, beckoning her away. "He knows."

Niyya swallowed the rest of her assurances, nodding as she made to leave. She stopped and grabbed his arm suddenly, her eyes two glinting amethysts. "You're going to drive off whoever caused this right? That's what I heard." He had to marvel at how quickly the woman picked up gossip. Had she not been _here_ the whole time? He tipped his head once in confirmation. "Good," she said stiffly, letting him go and following Milore.

He pulled up the chair Niyya had been in and sat down, looking Vanya over as he dug out the missive he'd written, placing it on the side table nearby. She was still pale, but less so, the serenity of her now cleaned face soothing the disquiet that his last images of her had borne. The flickering candlelight danced along her profile, illuminating the richness of her hair and he longed to touch her, to press her to himself and keep her there.

Gently, so as not to cause any discomfort, he lifted her hand in his and looked over her slender fingers. Dried blood was still visible under her nails, a remnant of the devastation her hands had wrought. He tugged her dagger from under the strap of his armor, setting it alongside the missive.

"Khes'yi," he breathed, brushing a few strands of hair away from her brow. "You always surprise me, you know?"

Could she even hear him? If she would but turn and open her eyes, bring him into her world, he'd forsake all and go willingly.

She didn't move so he leaned over and pressed his lips to her cheek. The smooth surface of her skin was cooler than it should have been and writhing heat shot up his spine in response, his blood calling for retribution. Yes, he would go willingly. He straightened up, not taking his eyes from her as he fitted his helmet on his head, bringing her shawl up around his mouth.

The others in the house were naught but shadows against the wall as he got to his feet, marching through the room and out the door.


	54. Tempered Temper

"Hold on, gotta take a piss."

Teldryn curled his lip as he stopped. How many breaks did four guards require? They'd left far too late in the day to make it to the Water Stone before nightfall, and at this rate they'd be lucky to make it out of the withered, ashen portion of the Hirstaang. He'd already quieted their asinine blathering, unable to endure whatever petty subjects they thought important enough to distract him from keeping an ear to their surroundings. If these men were some of Modyn's best, his discipline left much to be desired. Between them and Fethis, it was going to take a month to cross this island. Or it would feel like that, at least.

The situation was not improved by the fact that not long ago he'd recognized the break in the trees that led to a dismal cave, hidden and unmarked on the map, that carried within its walls unspeakable memories. He had been too late from the beginning, ignorant and always a step behind, continually finding her bruised with that look in her eyes that he so wished he could draw out from her. Take it and inflict it on any and all who had a hand in putting it there. 

He glanced down at the mer beside him, quite stalwart despite his age and Teldryn could admit Fethis had kept up surprisingly well. The old man's eyes were shadowed by more than his threadbare hood, shoulders weighed beyond the pack that hung on them, likely remembering his daughter's desperate and tearful farewell as they'd departed. Dreyla had turned a rather steely gaze upon himself as well, intoning shakily that he was to look after her father before she'd swept away without the slightest acknowledgment of Modyn, who'd been at his side. Once they stopped for the night, he'd have a few words and get a measure of how well he'd be able to carry out that demand.

And he fully intended to reach Damphall mine by sundown, with or without his apparently water-logged dead weight. As the guard came around a tree to rejoin his companions, still adjusting his armor, Teldryn approached the group of soldiers.

"Did your mothers manage to house train you or shall I fashion some swaddling to keep you dry? No more breaks, you can piss yourselves for all I care."

He stalked back toward Fethis, resting a light hand on his shoulder to pull him from his thoughts as he passed by. They continued on in silence, the ash and dried branches under their feet giving way to soil and a dusting of snow, the cold seeping into Teldryn's bones as they skirted the edge of Red Mountain's reach. He adjusted the blue shawl tighter over his face, grateful for the thicker fabric. A rising rock formation split the path ahead, leading further up into the Moesring Mountains or forwards through the narrow tidelands where the sea lapped restlessly at the shore, spitting a frigid spray that hung in the air as if it didn't know which way was down against the icy palisade. Through the mist, he could make out the outline of the tower that rose to meet the bridge that stretched out from the entrance of the old barrow in the rock face.

Something else caught his eye and he stopped, raising his hand in a silent command to the others. A wagon sat alone within the heavy fog with no signs of life to indicate it would find its destination.

_Not good._

Teldryn motioned up the cliffside road, taking careful steps to make as little noise as possible as he crept along the ridge to get a better look. There had been Reavers in the tower at one point and if more had set up it was extremely recent since workers had been investigating the potential of Damphall as of late. He turned and pointed at one of the guards, directing him with hand signals to go further up to scout the tower. He scooted nearer to the edge, careful to avoid slipping on the sheen of freezing moisture that coated the rocks, peeking over to study the scene below him.

The wagon was untouched, full of what looked like tools and supplies. It had been going North. There were no bodies he could see, only dark patches of dried blood that were frozen into the landscape.  _Not reavers, then._

Even the guar that would have been pulling the wagon was gone.

 _Wolves._  The thought surfaced just as his eyes picked out a shape under one of the crimson smears. Whoever had encountered the beasts had felled one in the battle for their lives. Judging by the spread of blood, they had lost. He heard his scout returning and pushed back from the edge, standing up as the man approached.

"Nothing, Serjo."

He nodded and faced the group. "There's a dead wolf down below. Go and assess the damage, all of you. Fethis and I will join you in a moment."

A frisson of hesitation passed over the soldiers before they all seemed to silently agree on not making him repeat himself and they headed down the path, leaving the old man standing alone. Fethis pulled his hood back, raising his chin but not able to make his eyes do the same.

Teldryn stepped forward. "The cost of your folly climbs ever higher."

"Teldryn, you know I never meant for them to come here."

"But they did," he clipped out. "You're either a liar or an idiot to say you believed they wouldn't."

Fethis' eyes snapped up to him. "Regardless of what I am, it is not as if I drove those wolves out on my own. You cannot blame me for that."

"Oh, I can. You opened a channel that would not have been otherwise."

Fethis looked away. "I'm sorry for all that has happened but-"

"Save your empty words," Teldryn seethed. "One way or the other, the East Empire Trading Company will be leaving this island, and for your daughter's sake you had better do your utmost to make it happen."

"That is what he hopes, hm?" Fethis straightened his back, a bitter grin twisting his mouth. "Your brother has sent me along in the hopes to get rid of me."

"Oh fuck off," Teldryn dismissed, sneering. "Modyn doesn't give a shit about you, Fethis. He wants those N'wahs gone, plain and simple."

"And you?" Fethis narrowed his eyes up at him. "Since when did you become his executor?"

Teldryn leaned in, speaking through clenched teeth. "Since your meddling nearly cost me _everything_." Fethis held his stare for a moment before dropping his eyes to the shawl, his expression inscrutable as he looked back up. Teldryn turned away to join the guards, stopping after a few paces and adding over his shoulder, "Don't tarry, old man, there are wolves about."

* * *

The scene around the wagon was more troubling up close. It was no wonder he had not seen bodies. Among the swaths of frozen blood laid torn clothing and bits of bone fragments, leftovers from the predators' feast.

"It was Doran and Kaela, they've traveled this way a few times recently," one of the guards said, lifting a bloodied spear from the ground near the dead wolf that- despite being smaller than the others- would tower over its southern grey cousins. "I suppose they felt it was safe enough to go without escort."

"Er...found the guar..." said another as he hefted up a large rounded piece of skull with plenty of gouge marks from a prolonged chewing session.

Teldryn picked up a dagger near the wagon, looking it over. It was a fine weapon, ebony, Glover's mark on the blade, and yet- not a spot of blood on it. Its wielder surely paid plenty of coin for it. A lot of good that had done. There were a few scant scorch marks around where they'd tried to use fire to ward off the beasts but underdeveloped magic only went so far.

It consistently amazed him the carelessness with which others struck out into the wilds. He turned to Fethis- who was taking in the view with silent horror- and held the hilt of the dagger out to him.

"Hopefully this will serve you better."

Fethis took the blade with a resigned look and Teldryn returned to the wagon where a couple of guards were already picking through the supplies. "We'll take along what we can carry without slowing us down," he said as he pulled out a wound up a length of rope. "What's left will have to be retrieved later."

The group worked quickly around the gore to gather up anything they could stuff into their packs. The wagon was mostly full of sandbags, lumber, and iron tools so it wasn't long before they were on their way. They kept along the shoreline between the jagged cliffs and the sea that glowed violet and orange as the sun hovered threateningly over the horizon, motivating a quick pace so as not to be forced to camp in the midst of the gusts of wind that were plastering the frigid mist to every surface, including them.

In the distance, at the base of a dip in the rocks, laid a stack of stones with a red flag indicating the path that would wrap around the cliff up to the mine. Teldryn stopped and surveyed the base of the ridge, looking for a cleft he knew would provide a shortcut. It was a little steep and would be a bit more treacherous- he'd surely have to assist Fethis- but it was preferable to having to go all the way around and lose daylight backtracking.  _Ah, there it is._

"This way," he said as he walked toward the cliff face, smirking a little when he did not hear footsteps following him. He ignored their skepticism and cast a magelight up the narrow passage that cut through a lower part of the wall, getting a lay of the rocky path as the light reflected off the moisture until it came to rest at the top. He scraped his boot over the first stone.  _Not too slick._

By now the rest had joined him and he turned around, jutting his thumb over his shoulder. "Up you go." At their hesitation, he waved them along. "It's faster. Come on, you four first, then Fethis and I'll bring up the rear."

The guards began picking their way up while Fethis huffed, his hood pulled tightly around his head as he peered through the opening left by his similarly secured cowl. "I'm too old for rock climbing, my bones already feel petrified even without walking all damn day," he groused.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Teldryn said. "Better to get out of this wind."

The fabric of Fethis' cowl puffed out as sighed, "Very well." He stepped forward and began working his way up and Teldryn followed closely, watching with growing curiosity as Fethis gripped the crags and made slow, deliberate foot placements.

"So how old are you anyway?"

Fethis chuckled, a little out of breath. "Not as old as Geldis."

Teldryn raised a hand quickly when it looked as if Fethis foot might slip, but he kept his balance. "And how old is Geldis?" he drawled, humoring the evasion.

"Last time I asked him he was around three-hundred-fifty," Fethis replied with a grunt. "That was before the mine dried up though."

They both quieted as they heard someone call out a cautious greeting atop the ledge. One of the guards peeked over as he offered his hand to the last of his companions to pull him up. "It's just Adosi. He came down to investigate the light."

Teldryn huffed in relief and nudged Fethis to get moving. "Nearly there."

Some minutes later, the waiting guard reached out to help Fethis up the final step, then moved to make way for Teldryn. The guard that had been stationed at the mine approached with a lantern and Teldryn extinguished his magelight.

"Wasn't expecting anyone to come up this way," Adosi said curiously. "Though we have been looking out for a wagon. Thought they'd be back yesterday, have any news on that?"

The creeping darkness seemed to grow heavier and Teldryn sighed as he fished into a pocket for a packing list he'd pulled from the wagon. He held out the rolled-up parchment.

"We sure do."


	55. Haunted

The wet, rotting wood creaked as Teldryn adjusted to lean against it as he sat down on the ground. Streams of cold air from the drafty entrance of the cave hit the back of his head through the boards, sending a shiver down his neck as it chilled the obnoxious moisture that was collecting on _everything_. The trickling sound of the water dripping from the ceiling of the flooded cavern just beyond the main atrium was not entirely unpleasant. Not that he could hear it over the guards that huddled near a magelight on the other side of the semi-enclosed alcove, conferring over what should be done to retrieve the wagon and remains. He didn't think there was much to talk about, really.

Placing the tip of his pipe in his mouth, he lit it and took a draw.

Whatever conclusion they came to, it had better include continuing on their mission at first light.

As he exhaled he dug into a pocket on his pack, pulling out a strip of guar jerky. He shoved it in his mouth, trying not to think about how much he wished he would have gone without it. Fethis came shuffling through the entryway, gazing blandly over the guards before turning toward Teldryn and settling on a barrel next to him, with plenty of protest for his aching joints. Teldryn was taking another draw when a half loaf of bread landed in his lap and he looked up at the old mer, who was chewing on a large bite of the other half.

"I'm three-hundred-twenty, to answer your question," he said around the food in his mouth.

Teldryn inspected the bread for mold. "The sounds of your bones were answer enough." He took a bite.

"Bah," Fethis replied, grumbling as he produced a small glass bottle from a pocket. "A bit of this and I can forget those for a little while." He took a sip then extended the bottle down in offering. It smelled like flin and as much as Teldryn could use a strong drink, he'd prefer it unlaced with another's spit. He shook his head and continued eating. Fethis rested the bottle in his lap and sighed as he reclined against the wooden slats.

"You had the right of it, Teldryn, I've been an idiot," Fethis began after a few moments. "Frozen in time, somehow believing I could regain what I lost to the Mountain. Ahh, Balmora," he drawled before leaning over a bit, his voice lowered. "You could get _anything_ there if you knew the right people." He straightened back up, resuming in a tone that was energized by his memories. "My market stand in the Commercial District did fine- don't get me wrong- but there were some things that only passed through the East Empire Company." He took a swig, grimacing. "B'vek, I must have been your age when I got in with them. Did so well I could afford a place in High Town- and it was a rarity to break into _that_ group of nix-hounds. And by that time I'd even gotten Iman to marry me. Best swindle I ever managed, by my account. She helped me hang the sign," he said, the lightness in his voice fading. "I can still see it swinging clear as day.  _Alor Mercantile._ "

Teldryn focused on a root climbing out of the far wall, chewing languidly on the last of the bread. He didn't have to see it to know the distant look that always followed these wistful tales. His mother did it, his father had done it, they all did it, all those that shared a glimmering thread of a lost paradise. 

"I was on my way back from Hla Oad after picking up a special order." Sorrow curled in the words. The guards had gone quiet. "I watched from a boat on the Odai as death swallowed my home. So close, and yet what could I have done? Even I was struggling to survive as the land and water revolted. By some miracle, I found her. She didn't even know how she survived. One moment she was straightening the alembics, she said, the next she woke up on a cot covered in bandages, coughing black phlegm. It never left her, the cough," he said bitterly. "That insidious poison of Red Mountain weakened her until it destroyed her from the inside out. We never thought we'd have a child, and even when she conceived I did not _dare_ to hope." He tilted his head back against the boards, continuing hoarsely, "but when Dreyla was born and I heard her cry...I just wanted to hold her, protect her, make her happy. Make it so that she would never cry again." He gave a dry chuckle. "The foolish dreams of a new father."

They all waited in his silence, reverent, the stillness permeated by the echo of the weeping cavern.

Fethis cleared his throat. "I tried to start over in Blacklight, but things were so different. Not that I blame House Redoran for having such a heavy hand in commerce in such times but it was...," he made a dubious sound,"...oppressive, to put it lightly. I saw Raven Rock as my chance to rebuild, perhaps we could breathe a little lighter, I could try to graft back into the flow of trade. Not to mention Dreyla was coming of age and drawing far too many suitors." A groan issued forth from his chest, heavy with resignation. "Little did I know the cliff racer of a man that awaited us."

The next part of the story did not need articulation as it was common knowledge. Travel by ship was treacherous for the infirm and Iman had been no exception. An illness that others had shrugged off had ravaged her in her frailty, finally taking her life just days before they reached the port.

"I failed them both, and for what? Grasping at something that has been scattered beyond my reach, like trying to drag a net through clouds to collect the rain. The gods have been telling me all along that I am a s'wit and I've been too much of a s'wit to catch on. And through it all, I have denied Dreyla the only thing she has ever asked of me. I'll do it no more."

Teldryn tapped the ash from his pipe onto the ground, thinking perhaps he'd been a little hard on Fethis earlier in the woods. The old man's conscience seemed to be giving him a thorough enough whipping.

"Azura preserve me, if the boy had been killed..."

He raked his fingers through his dampened hair, disgusted by the overbearing humidity. He'd had enough of this day.

"If Vanya had been-"

The dilapidated wall protested the sudden movement as he pushed to his feet. He might be ill if he stayed in this place any longer.

"I could never have forgiven myself," Fethis finished quietly as Teldryn walked through the doorway of the alcove toward the exit.

An icy blast of air assaulted him as he went through the rickety door, his relieved exhale floating up in front of him. The cold seeped into the wetness on his eyes and he clenched his teeth, marching toward the cliff where a boulder rose up enough to block the cruel winds that thrashed wildly over the ridge. The tips of his ears ached from the chill by the time he reached the outcropping and he leaned his back against the stone as he slid down to the frozen ground. He realized too late that he'd left his helmet sitting on his pack in the mine so he tugged her shawl over his head, insulating himself in a shroud of deep blue. His breath warmed the interior drawing forth the juniper and hearth fire weaved into the threads, conjuring images of honey and the dark silk of her hair over his pillow.

Within this illusion of his own private paradise, he wept for what he'd nearly lost.

* * *

_Cold._

_A shiver passes over her skin as she opens her eyes, looking down over the tops of trees passing by underneath. Little trails of smoke weave their way out from the dense, deep green foliage of the forest that sprawls from snow-peaked mountains down through the heart of the valley that connects them. The view seems like a place she should know, yet she has no memory of this landscape she's flying over._

_Flying?_

_Her stomach lurches uneasily and she looks down at her body, suddenly disoriented she reaches out her hands, finding purchase on the wooden railing. She's standing on a balcony. Has she been here the whole time? She looks up at the pine trees towering over her then peeks over the edge of the railing where the mountain slopes away sharply, the scent of the smokestacks wafting up through the pristine air._

_"Vanya?"_

_She whips around, the voice coming from inside the cabin. She's been here before, she remembers the green checkered upholstery of the deck chairs._

_He calls her name again, devastatingly familiar and foreign at the same time. Dread mingles with hope as the figure approaches the open door. The bright sun reflects warmly off his chestnut hair as he steps out into her space, his hazel eyes curious._

_"There you are."_

_Impossible. "What are you doing here?"_

_"What?" His lopsided grin is a lash against her heart. "We came here together."_

_Something is terribly wrong. It can't be him, he's lying. Her eyes search every line of his face for the deception. She realizes she doesn't even know what that would look like. "Where have you been?"_

_"You said you were cold, so I went to get your sweater from the car." He holds out her favorite over-sized blue pullover. But that's not right, it's gray. Her favorite sweater is not blue. It's gray._

_"Vee, are you alright?" He steps forward and she retreats, putting her hands out._

_"This- this can't be real," she says to herself. "It isn't real. It's a dream."_

_He chuckles. "I'm glad you think so, I put a lot of planning into this trip."_

_"Stop!" she cries. "Stop it! Why are you here?"_

_His smile fades, his expression flickering as if on the edge of understanding. He lowers his outstretched arm._

_"Sam, you're..." She doesn't want to say it, to tear out the part of her that she's buried. The words sting like acid as she does. "You're dead."_

_He looks over himself, patting his chest. "I am?" His eyes are distant even as he observes their surroundings until they land on her. "Are you?"_

_She examines her body again, gliding her hand over her left arm in search of the wounds that should be there. Then she bends down to pull up her right pant leg. Her mind reels as she reaches out to touch the smooth, unharmed skin. As soon as her fingertips brush her shin a searing heat splits a gash into her flesh causing her to cry out with the shock. She falls to her hands and knees, her gorge rising as steady rivulets of blood run down her arm, pooling until all she can see is red between flashes of white from the pulsing agony tearing through her._

_Her mouth is flooded, smothering her screams as the floor gives way and the rocks rise to meet her._

* * *

"She's just coughing it out!"

The liquid burned in her nose, invading her airway, running down the sides of her face as her throat rejected its entrance with violent heaves. Her body wailed at her silently and she writhed in protest, trying to catch a breath to give it a voice.

"Azura's mercy, Niyya. That's because you're drowning her, give me that cup!"

She was pitched forward, still sputtering as a firm hand pounded on her back. Her eyelids felt weighted as she tried to open them, managing to catch a glimpse of golden hair before they clamped shut again upon a fresh wave of stabbing torment.

"I'm sorry, Vanya." Niyya's voice was tearful. "I'm sorry. I panicked. I'm sorry." A damp cloth was rubbed across her face and neck.

_I don't care, just stop the pain. Please, stop the pain._

She opened her mouth, a dry croak escaping as she tried to speak.

"Shh, shh. My dear," Milore soothed, laying her back down, a shiver of relief radiating from the press of a hand on her chest, slightly dulling the feeling of a hot poker in her calf. Finally, she took a full breath. "I know it hurts but we have to drain it. Bite wounds are always temperamental. Drink this." Her head was lifted as the rim of a cup pressed to her lips. "It will make the pain go away."

That was all she needed. She sucked down the elixir, gratefully melting into blessed numbness with each gulp.

She floated back into the ether to answer his question.

_I'm not dead._

_Are you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in the parody version of this universe, Fethis' store is named Goods G'Alor.


	56. Veiled Epiphanies

Teldryn squinted through the spyglass, scoffing at himself at the futility of such an action. He pulled it away from his eye, flipping it around to wipe the snow that had begun to build up.

He cast a disdainful look up at the clouds that had unleashed on them as soon as they'd reached the Water Stone. "Couldn't ask for better weather," he groused as he peered once more through the spyglass, sweeping along the shore for his target. It was difficult enough to discern anything in this frozen landscape without the gods-damned weather stunting visibility.

Through the blowing sheets of white, he was able to pick out the form of some of the abandoned reikling hovels of Bristleback Cave and thought perhaps he could see some movement. Whether it was human or animal he couldn't say, though he suspected the former. This was most likely where the wolves had been displaced from and while the sheer cliffs did not provide many entrances to higher ground, it seemed to him unusual they would choose to go the opposite way on their own. He scanned along the ridgeline above the cave, hoping to spot any signs of life among the jutting rocks and thinning forest. His vision was obscured once more and he gave up. "I fucking hate this place." He tossed the spyglass back to the guard next to him and stalked away from the ledge toward the trees.

The snowfall was lessened within the canopy, bursts of flakes breaking through as the wind stalked around the swaying branches, thrumming with restless energy. Teldryn looked to each man before speaking.

"We continue blindly so keep on alert. These Imperials may be foolish, but likely not foolish enough to not have posted sentries. When we find them, we need to figure out their signal for alarm and then we eliminate them. Is that clear?"

The guards nodded and Teldryn turned his eyes on the old man who stood completely unresponsive within the layers of fabric he was encased in. "Fethis, any objections?" Teldryn asked sardonically, mostly to make sure he hadn't frozen in place while he waited.

"None from me," came the muffled reply.

Teldryn gazed over the group once more, resenting that he was to trust in men who were unproven to him. He decided, if nothing else, he would put his trust in Modyn's judgment of them. These men would follow orders. They were Redoran, after all.

"Let's move."

* * *

_She brushes a low-hanging branch out of the way, following what sounds like someone taking a leisurely stroll. Just as she glimpses the tall figure it disappears within the thick foliage of the grove._

_"Sam?"_

_She knows she's dreaming as she presses forward, ducking through the trees, remembering doing this before though it still feels new as she does not know her way. She has to catch him this time._

_"Sam, stop!"_

_She trots into a clearing at the base of a steep, rocky incline, searching for any sign of movement. She sees nothing, sighing in defeat. She's lost him again. Her eyes snap up the hill as she hears rustling somewhere ahead among the rocks and shrubbery. She begins to climb, stepping carefully to not trip over the jagged rocks, pushing through clusters of flowering bushes that she vaguely recognizes. The shroud of the forest sinks away as she nears the top, opening up a vast blue sky that her eyes struggle to comprehend as it continues to grow until it's all she can see._

_Blue sky and him, standing at the precipice of a cliff that seems to her the edge of the world._

_His blue jeans and white t-shirt look so out of place to her as she approaches him, carefully as if not to spook a wild animal._

_"Sam, why are you running from me?"_

_He tilts his head, still facing away. "I would never run from you, Vee." She quails a little upon reaching the edge, looking down at a misty gorge so deep the river that cuts through seems no more than a brook. Tall trees are silhouetted by the clouds that rest on the top of the canyon that runs into an interminable distance. Her skin prickles as a gust of wind whirls around them, making her feel as if she might take flight._

_"What is this place?" she asks as she brings her eyes up to a more familiar landscape. The high, straight profile of his nose, those brows whose shape she had always envied, his smooth chin that he'd often complained did not grow enough hair. His cheek creases with his grin as he answers._

_"Dunno, I've never been here before." He finally looks at her, his hazel eyes giving her a quick once over. "You look different."_

_She doesn't even look down at herself, she doesn't think she has time. Whether this is all in her head or something real she has no idea; either way, she wants to ask her questions while she has the chance._

_"You said we came here together, Sam. Where did you go?" That look again, like he's not quite grasping her words. Maybe if she tells him where she is instead. "I'm..."  She stops suddenly, inexplicably unable to recall the place. "I'm..." It's on the tip of her tongue, a spark of panic lighting as she trawls her mind fruitlessly. Why can't she remember?_

_"Please, Sam." Tears line her eyes as she begs. "Please, tell me where you are."_

_"Where?"  He looks back into the canyon, as if the winds howling through it will bring him the answer. Suddenly he turns toward her, searching her face with an intensity that sets her skin alight. "I'm with you."_

_"What?" she breathes out, despairing. "What does that mean? Are you really dead?"_

_"Dead..."He squints at her. "I don't...feel dead."_

  _He steps closer, her knees going weak as his shadow envelops her, concern taking over his features. She can't look away._

_"How do you feel?" His fingers ghost her cheek, the contact jolting her like an electric shock and she backs away, gasping._

_His face twists with confusion. "Wait, Vee..."_

_She wants to go to him, to take that hurt look from his face but her body won't obey, her feet shuffling backward as she tries to makes sense of..something...anything. She doesn't know what to do._

_"Wait!" He rushes forward as her foot is met with air, her heart in her throat, pushing out her breath as her body follows the gale down into the valley._

* * *

Her eyes snapped open with a sharp gasp, staring up at the ceiling while her mind caught up to the fact that she was lying flat, on a solid surface, not falling. Her eyelids fluttered shut again as she let herself sink into the chaise, her breaths shuddering along with her heart.  _What the hell is happening?_

She had never had dreams like this before, where she felt lucid, in control and not at the same. Did it mean something or was she having fever dreams? Tears seeped through her lashes, running down the sides of her face into her hair. She didn't want to think about it, about him, to face the reality of his death. And now, a seed of doubt had been planted in her mind through these episodes and the resulting questions shamed her unbearably. Could he have lived as she had? Had he landed elsewhere? Could he have been looking for her while she behaved as if his death was a foregone conclusion? But how could she possibly have known?

_But you never even tried._

_You just gave in._

And even if he lived, she was not the same person as before, a revenant clutching at the splintered pieces of herself. She did not even try to stifle her sob.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Her words came out thick and disjointed. She heard someone shushing, a soft touch on her face as she repeated the words like a mantra. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"Shh, Vanya," Niyya soothed as she had so many times before. "Are you in pain?"

Only then did Vanya remember her injuries, shaking her head as they merely registered in dull aches. She pulled her eyes open, the blur of her tears clearing to reveal Niyya's caring face, etched with worry.

"I'm sorry," Vanya said again, this time to her friend, for being such an awful one in return. Always taking, ungrateful, irritable.

Niyya frowned. "Stop that now. Are you hungry?"

Vanya whimpered her refusal, hating how much she sounded like a fussy child.

"Yes, you are," Niyya responded in a tone that was appropriately motherly. "You've not eaten for two days. Geldis has been scolding us constantly to wake you and make you eat. I'm sure he'd be happy to bring you whatever you like, so what do you want?"

She wanted to say something incomprehensible, like spaghetti or alfredo, anything to stop the pestering. She held her tongue and looked away toward the wall.  _No more. Niyya does not deserve that. She's only trying to help._

"Bread," she said finally. "I just want bread."

"I'll be back in a little bit."

Vanya waited until she heard the door close before she rolled her head over to take in the room. The house looked empty.  _Where is Llero?_

Her body felt stiff as she pushed herself up to lean on her good arm. She wanted to get up and find someone who would tell her he was alright but when she tried, her wounded leg would not obey, feeling like a thousand needles were pricking it at once.

Sitting up, she looked over her left arm. The upper part was wrapped in bandages and besides feeling incredibly bruised, she could lift and bend it fine, her fingers flexing easily. Her eyes drifted to her leg, fearing what lay under the thin blanket. She leaned forward, tugging the cloth toward her revealing a swollen foot that did not look like it belonged to her. She took a breath as she unveiled more, whatever amazement she may have had for its mended state quickly vanishing as her eyes widened in horror at the disfigured appendage. It was as if someone had bound her calf with a rope, leaving deep purple indentations and discoloration from the prolonged starvation of blood. She tried to wiggle her toes, regretting it as the burning sensation returned. Panting from the discomfort, she reached out tentatively to brush her fingertips along the unfamiliar skin, figuring since it was already hurting now would be the time to touch it. To her further astonishment, the surface was numb, though in some places she could feel a faint sensation as she began running her fingers up and down her unsightly leg. A sudden wave of panic gripped her. Would she even be able to walk?

She fell back onto the chaise, trying to keep her breathing from getting out of control. Had she even saved him? She had to know. She had to know if he lived. If she'd become an invalid for nothing.

The door opened and she called out before she even knew who it was. "Where is Llero? Does he live?"

Niyya came trotting across the room. "What? Yes, yes of course. He lives, Vanya. Don't worry."

Vanya sighed in relief. "Thank the gods."

"Not the gods, thank  _you_ ," Geldis said as he deposited a basket on the floor. Vanya reached for him and he nearly threw himself on her as he sat on the edge of the chaise. "Oh, it does me good to see you awake, child." He held her tightly for a long moment, then pressed a kiss to her cheek as he sat up. "I've brought the bread you asked for," he said, leaning over to the basket. "jelly, some boiled eggs, cheese..." His voice trailed off as he pulled out a segment of bread and offered it to her. "Here, eat."

Vanya still didn't feel like eating but the concerned way Geldis was looking at her made her accept the bread, bringing it to her mouth for a small bite. His whole body seemed to relax as she chewed and she paused for a moment when her mouth began to water, commanding her to give it more. She took another bite, larger this time. She was famished.

Geldis chuckled and reached back into the basket, apparently reading her mind as he brought up a dish of comberry jelly. She snatched it from him, wasting no time scooping some out with the bread and shoving it in with the rest still in her mouth.

Once her cheeks were hopelessly stuffed it occurred to her that both Niyya and Geldis were here. _Who is working in the Netch?_

She tried to mash everything around to make room to speak as Geldis crossed the room with a bottle of Jazbay wine to set on Milore's worktable and Niyya began righting the blanket over her leg.

"It's looking better," Niyya said. "You should have seen it yesterday."

She swallowed a portion of the bread, muttering. "It doesn't matter how it looks if I can't even move it."

"Milore insists you will be able to use it normally. It will just take time." Niyya's expression did not seem incredibly confident. "Better than losing it."

It was true, she supposed, but was of little comfort as the painful reality of what had occurred sat impotently in front of her. Fragmented memories flashed like a damaged movie reel. Red and white, the dagger in her hand that moved of its own accord as her mind had been centered on one thing.

"How is Llero doing then?" she asked suddenly. The wolf had torn into him terribly, surely he was in more pain than she was and she ached at the thought.

A cup appeared before her and she looked up at Geldis, whose mouth twitched as a twinkle passed through his eye. "Considering I was just shooing him away from the sweetrolls, I'd say he's just fine."

Niyya tutted, "Again? The little fiend."

Vanya took the cup with a confused look, glancing between them as she took a sip of water.  _Oh my God..._  She downed the remainder as if she'd die of thirst should she miss a drop.

"Llero and Sadesi are staying in our room in the Netch to be close to Milore," Niyya answered, anticipating Vanya's question as she handed the cup back to Geldis. "His arm was beyond saving and though he's far from healed, he was getting rather restless here. Poor Milore was having quite a time of it trying to keep his little remaining hand out of her ingredients."

Vanya stared at nothing in particular as she processed the information, speechless. She should have been faster, she should have stopped the children on the path when she had the chance.

"Ah, I had better get back," Geldis said. "I left Sadesi to keep an eye on things." He caressed his hand along the top of her head and down to her shoulder, giving a squeeze. When she looked up at him, the tenderness behind his grin tugged at her heart. "Don't you worry about anything, Vanya. Just focus on getting better."

Once he'd gone, Niyya sat down next to her, motioning to the bread still in her hand. "You should finish that."

Vanya pressed the bread into the jelly sullenly, her ravenous appetite fading.

"Do you want something else?"

She shook her head, taking a bite to prove it.

"Are you feeling alright? No pain? Feverish?" Niyya reached out to touch her forehead and she flinched away.

"Niyya..." Vanya said with her eyes closed to keep them from rolling, annoyed with her own reaction as much as the questioning. She didn't want to talk about herself any longer. She was alive, that was enough. With a calming breath, she looked at Niyya, replying as graciously as she could muster. "You've given me everything I need. I'm just tired."

Niyya rubbed her arm affectionately. "Alright then, I'm going to help Geldis with supper. Milore is probably fussing with Llero but I'll let her know you're up."

Alone again, Vanya concentrated on finishing the bread, chewing for too long, swallowing whenever she finally remembered she should. It only added to the weight in her stomach. With her distraction consumed, she fell back against the pillow, regretting that she hadn't asked Niyya to bring her a book to flip through. The last thing she wanted to do right now was sleep. She pushed back up to her elbow, trying to twist enough to look around for something within reach. Her heart fluttered when she saw her dagger on the side table sitting on top of a folded paper. Tugging it from under the blade, she read her name written in small, square-looking letters, knowing the author despite never before seeing his handwriting. Suddenly, reading didn't sound so good either.

Her eyes burned as she laid down again, pressing the letter to her chest, feeling her heartbeat through the parchment.  _Teldryn._ He had still gone if this letter was any indication, the realization bringing a troubling sense of relief that churned underneath her longing to see him. She had absolutely no clue what he might think of what she had done. Was he upset with her? Disappointed? And even if he wasn't, she was now more broken than ever. Crippled due to her own decisions. Whatever his opinion, she would never regret saving Llero's life, but how would those crimson eyes change toward her when he saw the truth? She could scarcely breathe as a thought surfaced. _Maybe_ _it's for the best._

With trembling fingers, she lifted the letter and broke the seal.


	57. The Descent

  _Any day now._ Teldryn held in his sigh, if only to delay another intake of breath as he _continued_ waiting in the crevice near the place that the sentries had been using for their privy. They'd come upon the first group, two men and a woman, in a clearing near an overlook of the mine. It had been fortunate that one of his soldier's arrows had glanced off the woman's armor instead of burying in her neck like the other two, otherwise she would not have given away their second alarm as she scrambled to smother the fire. A horn was their first, as expected, and ending the long trail of smoke that drifted high up into the frigid air was the backup- at least during the day. Teldryn didn't particularly enjoy immobilizing a person with lightning until he could get within striking range but she had needed to be stopped. 

He had been surprised to find that the sentries were nords, and part of a well-organized band of mercenaries judging by the matching sigil of a hawk emblazoned on their steel and leather armor. A peek down at the camp had revealed the East Empire Company had certainly paid for plenty of protection.

Currently, as the veil of dusk unfurled across the horizon behind Northshore, Teldryn and the two guards who had landed their shots were waiting for the right moment to enact their execution of the second group of sentries stationed above the dock. He figured their backup alarm for the nighttime would be some kind of light or flaming projectile, so they'd need to be quick and clean, giving no chances for a demonstration. Meanwhile, the other two guards were keeping that campfire churning back at the first site. And looking after the walking, grumbling cocoon that Fethis had turned himself into.

 Finally, _finally_ , he heard the creaking of snow under boots coming nearer. 

 The man was humming to himself in a low tune that probably sounded like Ragnar the Red to his own ears and Teldryn slid his dagger from its sheath, pushing all other thoughts from his mind as he exhaled silently, waiting. The sound of water splashing against the rocks was his cue and he advanced from his hiding place and grasped the back of the man's hair, cutting off a yelp of surprise with a deep slash across his neck. Teldryn held him there as he convulsed, listening through the choked gurgling and resulting splatter. From the darkness, two whispers, followed by strangled croaks and panicked shuffling. Once all went still, Teldryn dropped the dead man into the filth and turned toward the clearing to inspect the scene. Both sentries were motionless silhouettes on the ground next to their campfire with precisely placed arrows through their necks. Teldryn pulled out a cloth to wipe his blade, envying such accuracy momentarily. The guards climbed down from the shadows and he nodded with approval.

 "Well done."

* * *

Teldryn ground jerky between his teeth, watching the snow in his cooking pot liquifying as he held it near the fire of the first sentry camp. Next to him on the ground, Fethis slept huddled tightly into his bedroll despite the warmth the flames provided. Whether Fethis' demeanor was simply from the chill or perhaps dread and troubling thoughts, Teldryn didn't know. Likely some combination of all those unpleasant feelings and while he fully understood, he hoped the old man would be able to come out of it when he needed to, for that time was quickly approaching.

The dawn was swelling over Hvitkald, igniting the ash around the southern part of the island in the subtle shades of Azura's light. It was the third morning since they'd set out on this mission; three long, cold nights that turned Teldryn's thoughts painfully inward. He insisted on keeping watch, boring as it was, preferring to remain in this present misery than to be jolted back into it after a few fitful hours of escape. No matter the state he was in, the same question weighted his mind heavily. How did she fare? He had no doubt that Milore could care for her wounds expertly, much better than himself, but only he knew what it had taken for her to do what she had to get them. It was not the physical effects that concerned him most. Through the shifts of day to night and his actions that were driven of a new purpose, he held for her a constant prayer to the goddess he had never paid much heed, hoping his desperation would be enough to atone for his neglect.

The two soldiers nearby roused and Teldryn splashed cold water onto his face to clear his head. He poured the rest from the pot into his waterskin as they went about their morning activities, bringing his mind back to the present and taking a final mental rundown of his plan. There were a few ways this day could go and he was increasingly suspecting the result would have little to do with anything Fethis could say. If Teldryn was being completely honest with himself, it would be a lie to say he hoped for the best.

He nudged Fethis with his foot.

"Wake up, it's time."

* * *

He looked over the knot of the rope around the base of the tree, giving a good tug to check its fidelity. He then tossed the rope over the cliff, the lowest part he could find between the cave and the mine that was out of the sightline of either. Teldryn turned to his companions, addressing Fethis first.

"Ready, old man?"

Fethis had emerged from his solitude with a phenomenal scowl that deepened now as his eyes followed the rope to the edge. "I suppose it's too late to make an argument for walking along the beach like normal people?"

"If you had any input, you were welcome to add it to the discussion yesterday."

Fethis made a dismissive sound. "You wouldn't have listened."

Teldryn grinned. "You got me there. Come now, it's not too far down. I'll catch you if you fall, I swear it." He picked up the rope, leaning his weight on it with a foot on the ledge. "And if you're successful today, then we won't even have to make the climb back up."

"Let's just get on with it," Fethis groused. 

Teldryn fully agreed, intending on doing just that. He nodded to the soldiers. "You have your orders."

"Yes, Serjo," one replied as both placed their fists over their hearts. Teldryn swallowed, hesitating a moment before mirroring the familiar gesture that had long since become foreign to his body. These men and the two he'd left at Northshore had followed his word faithfully and without complaint. They deserved the acknowledgment.

Grasping the rope with both hands, he dropped over the cliff, walking himself down the uneven face that gave him plenty of footing. At the bottom, he scanned the area while the soldiers pulled the rope back up to secure around the Fethis' waist. Teldryn waited underneath while Fethis was lowered down and once he had two feet on the ground, gave him space to untie himself and situate his pack and clothing.

They both watched the end of the rope for a moment as it swayed lightly while it ascended once more, then their eyes drifted to each other. "It begins now," Teldryn said.

Fethis sighed. "However this goes, I will say what I must but trust that our interests are aligned." Teldryn nodded, believing that he meant it, deciding to keep the doubts to himself that it would matter in the least.

"May Mephala spin your words, then," he said, extending his arm.

A slight gleam flickered in Fethis' eyes as he reached out to clasp around Teldryn's bracer. "And Boethiah guide your sword."

The risen sun reflected brightly against the sea as they walked toward the coast, coming across a path that had begun to wear from the recent foot traffic. As the repurposed reikling hovels of the mine came into view, there were a few people sitting on a rock on the edge of the shore with fishing lines cast into the sea. Fethis made his way toward the group and called out to them.

"Hail! Fine morning for fishing, I hope," he said in a friendly tone that Teldryn had not been aware he was capable of.

Curious eyes turned toward them, two men and two women, all looking to be breton or imperial. One of the men answered cautiously, "Aye, it's a good spot." He cocked his head toward a large basket nearby full of cod and salmon.

"That it is," Fethis replied genially. "One of my favorites, in fact. And you lot have been keeping me from it." The fishers all looked to between themselves at the admonishment, a couple of them shrugging. "Ah, but no matter," Fethis dismissed. "I was wondering if I might speak with your master. You see, I'm a merchant by trade and I believe I can be of some assistance to your new settlement."

"Uhhh, I s'pose so..." the first man said hesitantly.

"You got any venison?" The other man piped up. "We run out and I'm getting real tired of fish and horker. Damned mercenaries are chasin' everythin' off up there in the woods."

Fethis' face creased into an unnatural grin. "Should your master set up an agreement with me I will certainly see to it that my hunters provide venison." The fishers all perked up, smiling amongst themselves. "So," Fethis interrupted their small celebration. "Who do I ask for?"

"Master Hertarian," a woman supplied readily. "Gaven, I think. Oh, and bring us rabbit, too."

"Of course," he said with a slight bow. He turned away, the smile dropping to only a small quirk at the corner of his mouth as he arched his brow, then beckoned with a hand for Teldryn to follow as he continued on. Teldryn shook off the slight awe at the old man's unexpected silver tongue and stilled his own to maintain his role. He hovered behind his _patron_ as they neared the main campsite, taking a closer look at what he'd been able to observe from the spyglass.

Workers milled about the camp that they'd integrated into the existing reikling structures, and among them were stationed more of the mercenary company in their coordinated armors, fully kitted with well-worn bows, maces, and swords. There was probably one for every four workers he spotted, a presence that was beyond necessary to protect from reavers or the odd frost troll. The East Empire Company had come expecting a siege from the looks of it, and they had an advantage in the small and easily defensible chokepoint, especially with the way the mine opening was entrenched within a series of staggered boulders. _All for nothing,_  Teldryn thought as he grinned under the shawl.

A mercenary with more ornately engraved armor stepped forward into their path a few paces ahead. "Halt! State your business."

Fethis opened his arms amiably. "With pleasure. I am Fethis Alor, a merchant from Raven Rock." The mercenary narrowed his eyes. "I've been in contact with Master Aeresius in Solitude for some time and he's informed me that should I desire to set up trade with your camp here, I should speak with a certain Gaven Hertarian?"

The mercenary scrutinized Fethis' remarkably honest expression, then slid his eyes to Teldryn, lingering for a long moment on the blue cloth before finally casting a glance up at the smoke trail that still rose steady and reassuringly from the mountain.

"Aye, alright," the man said, satisfied with his conclusions. "But he stays in his cabin on the Caldana if you fancy a walk to the harbor."

Fethis shrugged. "We've walked this far."

"Oy! Heifnir!" The mercenary hollered to another man nearby, grabbing his attention away from the woman he was loitering about as she washed potatoes in a bucket. Heifnir leaned down to whisper something to the girl, leaving her blushing as he made his way over grinning like a sabre cat, carrying himself in a similar fashion. The axe on his hip still showed bloodstains, and in place of a shield, his left bracer was constructed heavier with spikes extending over his knuckles like claws. This was a man who liked to fight and he knew how to kill. When Teldryn met the dancing ice blue eyes that peered out from his steel helm, it was apparent that a reciprocal calculation was going on in his head as well.

"What can I do ya for?" Heifnir asked blithely, looking to his commander.

"These two've got an appointment with Hert. They're needing an escort and that poor lass is needing a good break from you."

Heifnir put a hand on his heart as if wounded. "A break?" He glanced her way, catching the furtive look she returned. "Why, I think she rather likes me."

"About as much as a meat seller likes a rabid dog," the commander retorted gruffly. "Now go."

Heifnir snorted, then motioned for them to join him. "Come on, then" He leaned in as they walked, jutting his thumb over his shoulder. "Don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile, guess that's why he's the boss, eh? But you two," he said as he resumed his swagger, sweeping a finger over them. "You look to be a barrel o' laughs." Fethis only gave him a thin smile. "No? We'll see about that."

They cleared the camp, entering a causeway that narrowed between jagged ice formations on one side, the perpetually looming cliff-face on the other. "Say," Heifnir interrupted the frosty silence. "Did ya run into any wolves along the way? Had to run them blighters outta that cave around the bend back there. Fat bastards had themselves a beautiful setup with the horker along these shores, they did."

Teldryn tightened the hand that rested on the hilt of his dagger and Fethis cast him a wary look before answering.

"We saw a few."


	58. An Aspect of Unrest

Gritting her teeth, Vanya mentally cursed, holding her breath to keep from screaming as Milore applied steady pressure to the bottom of her foot, flexing it upward. If her shin was numb, the underside of her calf more than made up for it by alternating between stabbing, burning, and cramping. Just when she thought something in her leg might just outright tear, Milore pulled back, the immediate relief causing Vanya to sag into the chaise with a huff. She laid there with her eyes closed, fantasizing about hacking off the offending appendage.

"And you still can't feel this big toe?" Milore asked.

"Are you touching it?" Vanya replied without looking.

"Well, I suppose I have my answer, then."

She hummed noncommittally. Milore had ambushed her after breakfast with a routine of stretching exercises to- in the elder woman's words- 'keep the tissue from petrifying' which Vanya assumed meant trying to regain some flexibility and range of motion. She wasn't sure how effective that would be since she was positive there were some loose ends in there; veins, nerves and at least one tendon, robbed of their purpose just like the twisted muscle in which they resided. She just needed to get a big axe and lop it off. So easy.  _I wonder what kind of prosthetics there are here?_  She grinned slightly.  _Maybe I could get a peg leg._  

After hearing some shuffling around she felt a tap on her cheek and peeked her eye open to see a cup in front of her face. By now, Vanya knew exactly what was in the contents of the cup and she had mixed feelings. On the one hand, the pain would alleviate, but on the other...

"I don't want to sleep," she muttered.

"Oh don't worry, this is a dilute. I need you awake."

Vanya took the cup and pushed up onto her elbow. She downed the liquid, noting a slight hint of Jazbay wine as Milore took the cup back. She sighed as she laid down again, the weight of her affliction lifting.

"Since you'll be feeling better for a while," Milore said, the legs of a chair scraping on the floor as she positioned it next to the chaise. "Sit up and help me crush some saltrice." Milore grabbed her legs and tried to pull them over to the waiting chair causing Vanya to squeak in protest- more from surprise than pain.

"Alright, alright, I'll sit up! Jeez!" She waved the elder woman away and propped her leg up onto the seat, scooting over to align herself and lean back against the wall. Vanya eyed Milore with barely concealed annoyance as she approached with a mortar and pestle.

"Of course, I don't blame you for it, dear, but I'm terribly behind with the events of the last few days." Vanya didn't have a chance to respond as the door swung open. "Oh, what now?" Milore groused as Sadesi ushered a whining Llero into the house by his remaining left arm.

"He's torn his bandages up again," Sadesi said helplessly, her messy black braid swinging over her shoulder as he thrashed about in her grasp. "I can't get him to stop, he just scratches like a mongrel."

Milore tutted, setting the mortar on the side table as she beckoned them over. His legs dragged as he tried to resist, finally going limp and Sadesi huffed as she scooped him up.

"Sun'jul, you have to leave it alone for it to get better," Milore admonished gently as Sadesi sat him on the edge of the chaise. Vanya shifted closer to the end to give them space. 

"It's not just this," Sadesi said, trying to hold him still while Milore started unwrapping the loosened bandages around his chest. "He started complaining that his _hand_ hurts this morning."

"His hand? What's wrong with his hand?" Milore grabbed it to look it over, not getting far as he yanked it away petulantly.

"Not that one, the one that is gone."

Milore gave Sadesi a curious look, the younger woman shrugging in response. _Interesting._ Did they not know about the effects of a phantom limb? Vanya held her tongue for now. It was not as if she had any clue what could be done for it.

"I can't really help that." Milore leaned down, looking Llero in the face. "It's gone, sun'jul, it can't hurt anymore." She made to continue with the bandages and he flinched.

"It does hurt!" he cried, pushing her hands away. "It does!"

"It hurts because you keep tearing at it!" Sadesi scolded, losing her patience and grasping his flailing hand, pushing it down. He twisted his arm trying to free himself, kicking his legs out and Sadesi kneeled in front of him to hold them still with her body. "Llero, if you don't stop this you won't be getting a sweetroll tonight."

Her threat managed to stop his fidgeting, though now he put all his energy into wailing as if- well, as if someone had gone and cut his arm off. As Vanya watched the fat tears roll over his cheeks, she found herself wishing she could join him. To cry out with abandon, just scream without a care for all to hear.

Sadesi, still kneeling in front of her son, was looking up at him with shadows under her dark red eyes, lip quivering, and as much as Vanya pitied Llero, at the moment she was feeling more for his mother. The woman was exhausted.

"Can I help?" Vanya asked, inching forward a little.

"You can try," Milore replied stiffly, finally peeling away the last of the bandages.

Sadesi looked at her as if she'd suddenly appeared in the room. "By Azura!" The dunmer pressed a trembling hand to her forehead. "Vanya, I'm so sorry to disturb you like this."

"It's alright," Vanya said, trying not to wince too much as leaned forward to lower her leg off the chair. "I get it, trust me." A jolt shot up from her leg to her lower back, making her take a steadying breath. The elixir was still working or that would have been much worse. Her intrusion had managed to stop Llero's howling, though he was still gulping air between whimpers as he watched her.

"Llero, give me your hand. I want to show you something." He looked at her outstretched hand with a pout, making no move one way or the other. Sadesi lifted his arm in Vanya's direction and she took him by the wrist gently. "Ohhhhh," she said dramatically before he could pull away. "Yes, they're all here." Vanya turned up his palm, flattening out his fingers. "Don't you see them?"

He sat up a little. "See what?"

Vanya paused for a moment...were there pigs on Nirn?  _Shit._  "Um, all the scribs!"

His red eyes narrowed around their bright irises that had a nearly violet cast. "There's no scribs."

"Sure there are. Five of them. See?" She wiggled his thumb between her two fingers. "This little scrib went to the market..." She moved to the pointer. "This little scrib went home..." Her mind scrambled as she moved to his middle finger for a substitute for roast beef. She really hadn't thought this through. "This little scrib had horker..."  _Good enough_. Next finger. "This little scrib had none...

She realized she didn't know the sound a scrib makes.  _Welp, too late now._  "This little scrib..." She pinched his pinkie lightly. "Goes wee, wee, wee all the way home!" She ran her fingers up his arm lightning quick making him gasp in surprise, then break out into a squealing laugh as she tickled his armpit.

Sadesi sat back on her heels with a smile as Milore returned with clean bandages and ointment.

Llero turned toward Vanya a little, scooting closer. "Again!"

As Vanya prepared to begin once more, her eyes were drawn from his little splayed out fingers to his shoulder. Or rather what was left of it. She hadn't seen the wound undressed, her last memory of it being the nearly unrecognizable bloody mess in the Hirstaang. It was no wonder it itched, there had not even been enough skin left to close up fully leaving a gash of exposed muscle starting next to his clavicle and arcing toward his back. She swallowed, catching Milore's eye as the dunmer paused a moment with ointment on her fingers that were glowing faintly with healing magic.

Vanya smoothed her hand over Llero's gray palm then tugged at his thumb as Milore began applying the ointment.

"This little scrib went to the market..."

* * *

The house was silent once more, completely empty as everyone was going about their day. Vanya blinked slowly at the meek little flame of the candle on the nightstand. She'd discovered that laying on her stomach with a pillow under her shin was far more comfortable. The lack of pressure on the back of her leg coupled with the numbness of the front made it feel as if it were floating. She hugged the pillow tucked under her head, one hand brushing against the letter that Teldryn had left for her.

She'd read it so many times that she didn't need to pull it out and open it, but she did it anyway if only because she liked looking at it. What he'd written had been a relief, straight-forward and practical just like the precise strokes of his handwriting. She didn't know what else she should have expected, really.

_Vanya,_

_Plans have changed. I will be gone longer than I anticipated._

The tails of his 'y's and 'g's were so short, as if he couldn't even be bothered to spend the time completing them. She smiled.

_Should the next ship from Blacklight arrive before my return, I must inform you my mother will be aboard. I've left a letter in my nightstand for her. Give it to Modyn and he will pass it along._

With the way he stated it so simply, she felt a little silly for all her fretting over whether it meant anything that he hadn't told her of his mother's visit. Though now she was definitely fretting a little over the idea of possibly meeting her without him. But really, she'd have no reason to meet face to face with his mother until he returned. And he would return. He had to.

_I'm going to finish something that has been started. Please, take care and worry not. I will explain all when I see you again._

Surely, he would make it back. Although the picture that Niyya had painted for her of the East Empire Trading Company was less than kind. And she knew they'd had a presence in Raven Rock once before. What exactly had been started? How did an arm of the Empire even reach them through Skyrim? Hadn't they lost the war? She didn't really understand how any of that worked but the whole situation caused a horrible feeling to fester in the pit of her stomach. Something that coiled and burned beyond the heartache she felt for those that had been killed traveling to Damphall, or for poor Dreyla who must be an absolute mess. From the sound of it, the whole wedding might be called off.

In a single day, everything had turned upside down. All the things that had seemed so sure were shifting under her feet all over again. And Teldryn's final words- no doubt meant as a comfort- only added to the restive agitation.

_May Azura light your path._

Such a common phrase with many casual iterations, said often in passing with little consideration or gravity. Why did it strike her so heavily now, coming from him? She fought her drowsiness as her eyes traced each letter of his name at the bottom, praying, but not to Azura- and not for herself.


	59. Consummate Professionals

"So a priest of Arkay is strolling through the graveyard..."

Teldryn sighed loudly as Heifnir launched into yet another _humorous_ tale.

"...he sees a man sobbing at a headstone and, bein' a goodly priest, he goes on over..."

It had been well over an hour walk and so far he had taken advantage of his captive audience with a constant stream of nonsense that apparently passed for jokes somewhere on Nirn. At the very least, all of the man's gesticulating gave Teldryn a chance to find the weak points of his armor, of which there weren't many considering he wore mail under his cuirass.

"...the man was bawlin', just really wailin', 'Oh, why! Why didya have to die!'" Heifnir raised his fists in the air dramatically, then pointed to his cheeks. "Tears streamin', the whole bit, y'know. So by now the priest feels awful and lays a hand on his shoulder, 'You must have loved them very much,' he says."

A tell-tale snicker, heralding the punchline.

"The man looks up at the priest and says, 'Naw, never met him! He was my wife's first husband!'"

Teldryn felt as if his brain was dulling as the nord cackled enough for all three of them. He glanced over to Fethis, who had dropped his facade and retreated back into his cocoon after the joke about the horker.

"Can I just kill him?" Teldryn asked, only partially in jest. Fethis' cowl puffed out with his laugh. Heifner spun on his heel, continuing his steps backward as he wagged a finger, a keen edge in his jovial expression.

"You dark elves are tough to crack. That was my best one!"

"Does that mean it was your last one?" Teldryn drawled.

"'Course not! But I'll pretend that his laughing was for me and have mercy. Besides..." He turned back around. "We're here."

They cleared a sharp corner of the sheer cliff-side and the dock came into view where a sleek passenger ship and her heftier sister were nested cozily in the bay. The Sweet Caldana and Dame Edwina, both large enough to require a highly-skilled crew to navigate the treacherous Sea of Ghosts. The air was still, the frigid winds that dashed around the shoreline stifled by a glacier that stood watch from the water in rivalry with the frozen bluff, creating a peaceful nook that carried through it the sound of the narrow waterfall that spilled forth from some artery within the island. Its charms were lost on Teldryn for the moment. He was encouraged to see fewer miners around compared to the previous day, having completed their transport of ore to the dock for loading onto the Edwina. The fewer panicked obstacles to avoid, the better.

They passed by rows of crates of ebony ore where workers were driving nails into the covers to seal them up. Heifnir pointed toward one woman who was bending over to pick up a nail and he wiggled his brow. "I know where I'll be after I shove you lot off."

Teldryn made a show of assessing the girl, nodding. "Looks like she could use a laugh."

Heifnir feigned a wince at the jab, the cavalier grin returning as he led them onwards.

Fethis lowered his cowl and hood, smoothing his hair as they approached the stairs to the dock. Their feet resounded on the wooden slats as they ascended and Teldryn examined the areas that weren't covered with cargo for any traces of blood from the Thalmor that Roggir had summarily executed some months earlier. He and Erik had been told to hang back and after a brief exchange with the Justiciars, there had barely been time to draw weapons as the Dragonborn used a Shout that made the four elves scream in agony before they'd been cut down like stalks of saltrice. He suppressed a shudder. He'd never seen anything quite like it. There was nothing left of them now, gone just like the boat that the reiklings had disassembled and re-appropriated before they too suffered Roggir's judgment.

Heifnir stopped in front of the bridge to the Caldana, turning to them with a raised hand, sobering. "Wait here, gonna check if Hert is up for visitors."

Once the man had gone, Fethis leaned against a crate. "Hope we're not waiting too long."

Teldryn turned his eyes toward the Edwina that loomed behind. Two mercenaries leaned on the railing, chatting idly as they looked down on them. There were more on deck, he knew, having seen them through the spyglass. The sailors were going about their business, casting a few curious glances at the newcomers, and though they wore only plain clothes, they definitely looked the sort that would join in a fight if there was trouble.

His gaze traveled up the spire of the icy waterfall, continuing over to the drifting smoke trail. _Hope you're ready._

Heifnir reappeared at the top of the bridge. "He'll see you now. Come on up."

Teldryn followed Fethis up the walkway to the deck of the ship, his senses protesting from being fully surrounded by imminent combatants. They stopped in front of a narrow stairwell leading into the hull.

"Right down here, first door you come to."

"My thanks, ser," Fethis replied, hesitating for only the smallest moment before descending the steps. The oppressive interior was not helping the tension in Teldryn's neck, but the seclusion could prove beneficial depending on the circumstances.

A nord with a milky eye held open the door to the room. From behind a desk situated in the far corner, Gaven Hertarius stood to receive them. Teldryn was not listening as Fethis exchanged pleasantries with the dark-haired Imperial, noting no click of a lock as the door was closed behind them. Another mercenary, larger with a steel helmet and serrated shortsword, leaned against the wall near his employer.

"Please, sit," Hert offered in a genial tone while his calculating gray eyes assessed them both. Teldryn threw a glance around the room- no other furniture but for a chest situated next to a bed that was built into the wall behind them- then took the seat to the right of Fethis, keeping his body relaxed. _Nonthreatening._

"Now Fethis," the man began as he lowered into his own chair. "I was certainly expecting to meet with you eventually. Aquillius has spoken highly of you."

Fethis clasped his fingers together, resting them in his lap. "I've no doubt he has." 

"Although I find myself troubled by the pretext of this meeting." Hert knit his brow, his expression more probing than confused. "We both know he's not sent you any invitations to set up trade with us so I must wonder..." Gray eyes darted to Teldryn briefly. "What are you really looking for?"

"You're correct, he did not communicate with me that the organization would be landing on our shores, but your carrack was hard to miss."

Hert leaned back in his chair, arrogance slithering onto his features. "So if the Redorans are finally aware of us, I don't imagine they'd send you to treat with me."

"They certainly would not. Which is why I have come with much haste and of my own accord in order to right this before it goes terribly wrong." Fethis straightened up, his voice taking on an air of scolding. "I asked Master Aeresius to partner with me so that I could rebuild a presence for the East Empire Company. I would have access to your resources and you would have access to a populace that would be unlikely to otherwise allow it. That does make sense to you, right? I don't believe I need to explain why simply showing up and taking over a valuable mine might not be the most prudent way to accomplish that goal."

"Prudence was the earmark of Vittoria's administration," the imperial spat dismissively.

That gave Fethis pause, his demeanor softening. "I was grieved to hear of her passing."

"A tragic affair, yes," Hert replied with less sincerity. "Killed upon the altar of her own wedding." He scratched his chin as he mused, "What strange times we live in."

"Not so strange that House Redoran will suffer your presence on Solstheim."

Hert's face stiffened. "So you did come here to make threats, after all?"

"Not threats," Fethis demurred, not without a hint of annoyance. "A warning, in the hopes of our mutual benefit later. Master Gaven, if you do not take this operation and leave, they _will_ expel you. Perhaps after some time has passed, we could re-establish contact, but the way Aeresius is going about this is going to sever the Company's access to Morrowind completely."

Fethis' words hung in the air as the man blinked at him idly, waiting in false politeness for any further sentiment. The corner of his mouth curled up as he leaned forward to rest his elbow on the desk. "You don't think we've considered that? Tell me, why has the good captain not already expelled us, then?" His face twisted further in amusement. "It could not be that he's a bit distracted? Short-handed? Oh yes, as isolated as you must feel on this rock, the world outside is aware of the goings-on in your little mining town. Perhaps, now do try to understand this..." He raised a hand in a placating gesture. "Perhaps we're not here for _you_ or the ragged remains of your people." The levity drained from his face as he refolded his arms and Teldryn took measured breaths, keeping himself calm within the congealing air of the cabin. He shot a look at Fethis, whose expression showed he understood the discourse had just passed a threshold.

Teldryn was as surprised as the imperial when Fethis laughed, breaking the silence with a dry and mocking rattle."Forgive me," he said with a slight cough, composing himself. "but you are young and ignorant. Allow me to relay to you a bit of history," he said, mimicking Hert's hand gesture. "Merely in the interest of understanding each other better, of course." The imperial inclined his head with a rather piqued courtesy. Fethis' tone turned bitter, stripped of the veneer. "We had no _Septim_ when Oblivion came to Nirn. Our home became, essentially, The Deadlands not long after, and we had no Dragonborn to drive out the invading forces that followed. I must say, the remains of my people, ragged as we may be, are quite determined to hold our ground in the shadow of the Mountain."

"An illuminating lesson," Hert sneered, a menacing look crawling over his face. "I'll be sure to relay the message."

The hardened look sent a burning tingle up the back of Teldryn's neck, that charge that always preceded the reek of blood. He heard the blade draw just as Hert's eyes flicked behind him and he moved, darting forward from the chair, pulling his dagger while grasping at the arm that was arcing through the space he'd just occupied. He swung himself behind the nord, burying his dagger at the base of the man's ear, a crimson spurt chasing its removal. As the man's knees buckled, Teldryn yanked him back against the door, grabbing the weapon from his hand as he fell with a heavy thud, eyes wide as he tried in vain to stifle the escaping fountain of his life.

In such close quarters, his sword would be more of a hindrance so Teldryn prepared himself with a dagger in each hand to fend off that wicked short-sword, good fortune bringing the wielder toward him and not Fethis, who was backing away from Hert with a ward up. He'd have to hope the old man could handle himself for the moment.

The mercenary's blade chipped into the post of the alcove bed as Teldryn leaped backward onto the mattress, rolling to his feet just as the pillow that had been under him was cleaved into a cloud of feathers. Teldryn wanted to make a stab for the gap in the cuirass under the man's arm but thought better of it, retreating from the backswing that definitely would have taken his head. His opponent was quicker than he'd expected and it would only take one hit.

As Teldryn moved toward the desk behind him he spared a glance at Fethis, cornered behind the ward at the other end of the bed, half on top of the chest and keeping Hert's dagger out of reach by blasting frost at the cursing man's feet. _Don't waste all your magicka!_ He didn't have time to put a voice to the scolding, snatching a chair and hurling it at the looming mercenary. The man swatted it away giving Teldryn a precious moment to fling the spare dagger behind the desk and begin pooling magicka into his palm as he threw himself across the surface to avoid the savage arc that chased him, biting deeply into the wood with a loud crack.

The mercenary growled as he tugged at his sword and Teldryn completed his spell, aiming just behind the imperial. The scamp erupted from the swirling void, screeching, and Teldryn could feel its glee as it leaped onto Hert's back, wrapping long talons around his head.

All that screaming was going to draw some attention but he couldn't think about that right now, as the mercenary had freed his blade and was absolutely heaving as he rounded the desk. Teldryn retrieved the discarded dagger and huffed a couple of quick, steadying breaths. _Bring me that rage, N'wah._

He dodged backward, the edge of the blade so close it ghosted the cloth around his face. His back hit the wall and the man cried out, putting all his energy into a swing that would probably cut through anything it hit, armored or not. Teldryn ducked under the sword, rushing forward, stabbing his dagger into that gap under the arm as he slid himself behind his opponent. He lurched backward as the man abandoned his sword that was buried in the planks, trying to crush Teldryn between his own body and the adjacent wall.

Teldryn's chestplate kept his ribs from breaking but he tasted blood as the steel helmet glanced off his chin, knocking his teeth together. He gasped for breath as the man turned around, pressing a heavy hand to his chest and raising a fist only to falter with a pained grunt because of the blade still buried under his arm. Teldryn lunged forward, stabbing the other dagger up to the hilt under the man's chin.

He let go as the mercenary slid to the floor, sucking on the blood in his mouth as he assessed the room. Fethis was still in the corner and looked no worse for wear except for an extremely disgusted expression as the scamp paced the room restlessly. He yanked his dagger from the merc's side, wiping the blood from it as he stepped around the desk to see what Fethis was looking at.

" _Jesus Chr-_ ," he stopped short, startled by more than the sight of what the scamp had done to Hert. _Where did that come from?_ He shook off the momentary distraction, refocusing on the man-shaped carnage that remained on the floor. He suddenly felt very fortunate he'd gotten out of his first summoning with only a lightning bolt to the leg. The scamp cocked its head toward the door and a moment later the handle turned, the body barricading the entrance jostling as a muffled voice came through.

"Hey! What's going on in there! Hronulf, Garm!"

"Fethis, stick close to me," Teldryn sheathed his dagger and picked up the dead man's feet to unblock the door. He looked to the scamp. "Ready to go outside for once?"

The scamp hissed, rearing back to pounce and Teldryn pulled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered mentioning the Neravarine in Fethis history recap but I think it would be common knowledge that they have not been seen for a long time, rumored to have gone to Akavir after the events of TESIII. It's sort of implied anyway, mentioning their dearth of heroes during the string of hardships they've endured.


	60. Hotfoot Upheaval

"AAAIIIIIEEEEEE!"

The mercenary recoiled from the room as the scamp charged him and Teldryn followed while unsheathing his sword. He quickly ran the man through, curtailing the creature's shredding. The scamp emitted a disappointed sound as the now-dead man slid to the floor, its claws withdrawing from his eye sockets.

_Quit your pouting, we're not done,_ Teldryn commanded mentally. There didn't seem to be anyone else in the immediate area so he motioned for Fethis to follow as he began to cautiously ascend the stairs to the deck. It was a fairly short sprint to the bridge, perhaps if they- 

An arrow embedded into the wall next to him with a near-deafening  _thwack,_ making him flinch back into cover.  _Well, shit._ Shouts of alarm rose up along with the ring of weapons being drawn. They just needed a momentary distraction to make a break for it. He turned to the very impatient creature waiting at the base of the steps. "Have at them!"

The scamp was off, scrambling topside to intercept the first attacker in a flurry of rabid slashes leaving the man wailing as it lept away to cause as much chaos as possible. Teldryn wasted no time slipping toward the bridge now that the bewildered crew were busy trying to get a hit on the scamp as it assaulted everything in its path, living or not. He crouched behind the sideboard to venture a peek at the Edwina. There was a good amount of confusion with some men making to disembark. 

"Look out!" Fethis hissed from behind and Teldryn turned to see a mercenary charging at them with an axe drawn, others finally taking notice of them.

"Still got enough for that ward?" He dug into a pocket on his pack for his magicka potion.

The ward bloomed over them both just as an arrow hurtled their way, bouncing off harmlessly. He tore the cork off with his teeth and took a healthy swig, then passed the bottle to Fethis. "We're going to make a run for it," he said as he cultivated fire in his palm. "Keep your ward up. Don't stop."

Just as the mercenary bore down on them Teldryn stood up, flinging his fireball at the wooden bridge of the Edwina then dodged the axe swing with a spin, cleaving the assailant's head from his shoulders. Blood arced across his vision as he looked for the results of his handiwork, pleased to see the crosswalk alight and crumbling into smoldering pieces.

"Go!" he cried as he started down the bridge. The scamp was weakening but he took it as a good sign that it was still having a rollicking good time. A volley of arrows- along with weak fire and ice- began peppering the boardwalk from those stranded on the Edwina. If Fethis could maintain his ward, the crates lining their path could take many of the hits. He'd trust his armor for now, and their poor aim.

Before he could turn and blast apart the bridge they'd just crossed, one mercenary that had managed to make it off the other ship was upon them with a greatsword raised high. With no time for a proper battle, Teldryn threw the fire at him instead, the force of it tossing him into the water like a sack of meat. He pushed forward, hopping over an ice spike that landed right in front of him with Fethis grunting further behind as the ward deflected hits. The way was clear beyond this shooting gallery, the workers making the smart decision to get as far away as possible.

An anguished cry behind him stopped him in his tracks and he glanced behind. Fethis' had fallen, his ward faltering as he crouched on the boardwalk with an arrow buried near his ankle. Teldryn sheathed his sword and sprinted back, charging his own ward, ducking over the old man just in time for his to fail. Grabbing the back of Fethis' shirt, he yanked him to his feet.

"Ah! Dagon take you!" Fethis grated out through his teeth.

An arrow glanced off Teldryn's helmet as he dragged Fethis over to a stack of crates near the end of the dock. He shoved him behind cover, noticing some of the mercenaries tossing ropes over the side of the Edwina to climb down before dropping as another ice spike flew overhead. The crates rattled violently from multiple impacts as he reached for the arrow and Fethis didn't have time to protest as Teldryn snapped the shaft, receiving insults to his mother in Dunmeri for his service.

"I'll tell her you said that," he quipped between breaths.

"Aughh, I'll tell her myself." Fethis was exhausted and panting with agony and Teldryn knew now that their quickest way out was to carry him.

Just as he reached for him, he felt his connection to the scamp drop and a moment later figures began to line the edge of the Caldana, bows in hand with some heading for the bridge.  _Fuck._  They needed to pass right in front of the ship andFethis would be no more than a meat shield over his shoulder at this point. He took a breath and focused his magicka as deep violet glowed in his palm.

He had enough to bring her here. Keeping her under control? He aimed the gateway out on the shore, figuring there was plenty for her to have her way with for them to still escape should he run dry.

The clamor of the surrounding chaos faded, drowned out by the blinding screech of clashing steel and screams of battle as he reached into Attribution's Share for his quarry. The flames of her rage licked at his mind for tearing her away as the eruption of her presence filled the harbor with the tenor of a roaring inferno. Her lithe form, blackened twisted curves over churning lava,  twirled gracefully within her blazing halo, unfurling a whip in a searing arc as she leveled the contemptuous white glow of her eyes on her many soon-to-be victims.

_Foyagah._  Twice the atronach in every way of any that spawned from Infernace, and each time that he brought her to Nirn renewed his conviction that she had been worth the price.

"Daedra fuckers!" Teldryn twisted to the source of the voice just in time to see Fethis lunge and bury the ebony dagger deep into the cheek of a man who'd crawled up the dock behind them. The blow had probably been aimed for the neck but he was not going to be critical, vaguely noting that the sooty man now choking on his own blood was the same one who'd suffered his fireball. He heard splashing as the men repelling down the Edwina reached the bottom.

_Time to go._  Hoisting the cursing old mer of the ground and over his shoulder, he jumped off the edge of the dock as he pushed Foyagah's attention away from the scattering workers and toward the Caldana. She crossed in front of them as she skated toward the ship and with a flourish, snapped her whip along the railing, blasting away the archers as the wood splintered into scorched shards. A roiling fireball followed, exploding into the mast, embers flying onto the drawn sails and raining down on the panicking crew.

Up ahead, two ropes dropped down over the ledge of the cliff into a landing wedged between a break in the rock face about shoulder height. They were nearly there. "Behind!" Fethis coughed out as his stomach was jostled on Teldryn's pauldron. The whistling of arrows flew overhead, followed by grunts as they met their marks and Teldryn looked back to see two mercenaries that had been giving chase falling to the ground.  _Gods damn it, they're good._

The Caldana was completely ablaze by now, spreading to the boardwalk and Foyagah was busy mercilessly whipping anyone unfortunate enough to have come ashore so Teldryn allowed himself a breath of relief before closing the distance to the landing, all but throwing Fethis through the opening.

"Gah, fetcher!"

Teldryn huffed a laugh as he gripped the edge, planting a foot into a crevice to heft himself up. He caught movement in his periphery and shoved away from the wall just as an axe screeched along the surface. His sword and dagger were out in an instant as the assailant turned to face him.

Heifnir. "I knew you had a sense of humor, elf," the man spat, the twin side of that twinkle in his eyes lighting with challenge. He stalked close to the wall to keep out of the soldiers' line of fire with a taunting expression, daring Teldryn to make him move. He wanted to test himself.

Teldryn smirked, spinning his dagger as he backed toward the waterfall and further from the protection of his companions. "And you are more fool than I thought."

A satisfied growl emanated from the mercenary as he advanced, bristling with aggressive energy. Teldryn ducked away from an arc of the axe, the rebounding swing glancing off his sword as he parried. Heifnir roared as he swung viciously with his spiked bracer, meeting air as Tedryn twisted away then resettled into a wary stance in time to dodge another blistering swipe of the axe.

"Got myself a dancer, huh?" Heifnir spat with another broad swing that pushed Teldryn back further, encroaching on the spray of the waterfall. When the man closed in with another strike, Teldryn redirected the swing and slid his sword in at the base of the axe, catching the edge with his crossguard. With Heifnir's arm locked, Teldryn's dagger found his elbow like a striking snake. The man snarled and twisted his arm viciously, tearing an equivalent growl from Teldryn as something in his wrist popped and his sword left his hand. Teldryn jumped back instinctively, just missing being impaled in the neck by the spiked bracer and when his feet landed, it was brief as they were thrown out from under him due to the slick on the rocks. He tried to catch himself, being reminded brutally of his injury as the stinging ache exploded, shooting up his arm.

Teldryn grunted on the ground as he tried to clear his mind, ignoring the twinge of warning as he rallied his remaining magicka. He had expected the axe to drop from the man's hand after that stab, though that stab was the only reason he wasn't having his fool head lopped from his shoulders right now. Heifnir was also getting his bearings, switching his axe to the left hand as blood dripped from the other.

"I think that helmet will make an excellent memento," he said, readying his weapon in his off-hand with equal prowess. Teldryn scooted backward, baiting the man as he approached like a conquering hero. The savage swing that met Teldryn's ward sent a surge of agony up to his shoulder and he grit his teeth as he stretched out his legs and spun on the ground, catching Heifnir's ankles and twisting his feet out from under him. Teldryn let the weakening ward drop and pushed to his knees, sliding out of range of the axe as Heifnir swung from his prone position.  _Sabre cat was right! Shit!_

Teldryn regained his feet and wasted no time launching at Heifnir as the man rolled to his knees, getting just inside the arc of the axe that finally left his hand as he was tackled back to the ground. He caught Teldryn's arm, his blood slicked grip barely managing to keep the dagger out of his throat, the edge biting deeply into his chin instead. With a feral howl, Heifnir shoved Teldryn off, sending him scrambling for purchase as he slid along the bank. The thunder of the waterfall was in his ears at the edge of the pool, the dagger leaving a swirl of blood as it was sucked away in the undercurrent and his fingers defied him as he reached for it in the icy water.

He rolled to his back to catch his breath, both hands pulsing with a myriad of tortures, almost making him lose focus. Almost. Heifnir's form advanced through the mist, having regained his axe. He pressed a boot onto Teldryn's chest, blue eyes shining coldly within the crimson mess of his face.

"A worthy opponent." His tongue darted out to taste the blood on his lips that were curling into a contemptuous grin. "It _honors_ me to send you to your ancestors."

Heifnir couldn't see Teldryn's smirk as he raised the axe, a moment later his silhouette lighting up as his body was wrapped in flames, obscuring what was most assuredly a very surprised expression. The cry, though, was loud and clear as he was yanked backward by the flaming whip into Foyagah's grasp, the anguish in his voice escalating as she flooded him with her glorious fire. All at once, there was silence but for the roaring of the water and the crackling of her presence as the man's ashes drifted from her spindly fingers.

_Took you long enough._

She turned her white-hot gaze on him, fuming. He quickly mustered whatever he had left into his bone-chilled hand, his head pounding as he sent her back to Oblivion.

He fell back onto the rocks, limp, trying to find a part of himself to center on that didn't hurt. Failing at that, he comforted himself with the evident improvement in the endurance of his magicka. Black smoke swirled into the clouds and he followed the trail down to the harbor where everything flammable was being consumed relentlessly. One of the soldiers was headed his way, feet slipping a little as he neared. Teldryn let out a hoarse laugh, halting with a groan when his ribs protested.

"Boethiah's Bloody Bags! I climbed down as fast as I could but..." The guard huffed. "That atronach was..." He stopped, composed himself with a small cough, then reached out a hand. "You alright, Serjo?"

Teldryn eyed the outstretched hand. "Ah, not yet." He started pulling off his gauntlets as he sat up.  _Gingerly._

"Where are your weapons?"

"Fuck if I know," he groused, grimacing while he shoved off his right bracer to examine his wrist. Broken, for sure, like a gods-damned novice. He could feel it swelling though thankfully, it didn't seem too serious. He held it up to the guard. "Make yourself useful."

* * *

It was midday by the time Teldryn fell into a heap against a boulder on the overlook. It was hard to tell the time exactly as the already cloudy sky was darkened with the plume rising from the harbor. They'd had to spend a little time fishing his dagger from the icy pool, though luckily his sword had not gone very far down the brook that outlet into the sea.

"Now that's a smoke signal, hm?" one of the guards quipped, settling down next to the campfire.

They would not be able to rest long, as there was bound to be a couple of investigative parties incoming.

"Quite," Fethis answered briskly, leaning forward from his seat on a log to warm his hands near the flames. He rested a weary look on Teldryn. "Perhaps not the wisest idea to obliterate their only means of leaving the island."

He pressed the back of his head against the rock, rolling back and forth slowly, enjoying the cool pressure. "I'll keep that in mind next time I'm carrying your ass out of a hail of arrows."

"After leaving me in the dust to get shot. It will be a long time before this stops smarting," Fethis grumbled as he rubbed his wrapped ankle. "If ever."

Teldryn flexed his wrist, wincing at the lingering ache. "You're alive aren't you?"

"Hmph, after such a pointless endeavor, too. Would have been better to have torched them from the beginning."

Teldryn didn't quite agree with that. Fethis had gotten them the audience with Hert and the way the man had talked- along with the other discrepancies- scratched at something in his brain. If their interest was solely the mine, he would not have expected that sudden escalation, nor the heavy mercenary presence. They were after more than silver, that was a surety.

"N'chow," Fethis cursed. "Must we always leave ash in our wake?"

Teldryn studied the old man's scowling face for a moment, then glanced between the two guards who'd paused their activities. He snorted, unable to hold back his laugh and the guards joined in, their merriment growing as Fethis pressed his lips together to keep his smile at bay. Finally, when it looked as if he'd lose the fight, he threw his hood over his head to cover his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When all else fails...BURN EVERYTHING! >:D
> 
> I'm sure I'll be back in this chapter making revisions but I'm exhausted in pretty much every way at the moment, so this is what I have for you! Alas, I'm going to have to take some time to really plan out the final events of this book which I expect I'll be able to finish at around 70 chapters as I thought. And worry not, a sequel is coming! I'm estimating my next update will be 11/1 to give me plenty of time, but if I'm especially productive I will post earlier! I just have a lot of other stuff going on this month so the story would definitely suffer if I kept up the current pace.
> 
> Also, I've made some revisions to the last two chapters, one in particular from last week's that caused a fair bit of head-scratching. JEEBUS! :P 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	61. Simmering Undercurrents

"Didya have to burn everything?" the commander groused, leaning back against the rock face with a stern expression that almost concealed his apprehension. The sun was beginning to hang low, casting long, cool shadows in the nook where he and Fethis had started out the previous morning.

Teldryn shrugged, crossing his arms as he rested his pauldron on the wall next to the man. "Perhaps not."

"Can you send that thing back now?" he gestured toward Foyagah, who was floating nearby, her heat melting the snow in a circle around her and making the ice weep. The commander glanced up at the top of the cliff where his scouting group stood hostage at the edge, surrounded by the Redoran soldiers. "I'd like to keep as many of my men as I can at this point. With Hert dead, I got no one to pay me so my priority is to get back to Solitude and knock on Aeresius' door. How the fuck am I to do that when you burned the whole damn harbor?"

Teldryn pursed his lips. He had to admit, he also slightly regretted the outcome. Any pertinent missives or evidence that would have shed some light on the real aims of the East Empire Company were now ash along with everything else. "I wonder..." Teldryn studied the man thoughtfully. "What were you told of this enterprise."

"Eh? To keep an eye out for your Aedra-forsaken arses, that's what."

"Nothing else?" _Excellent interrogative skills._ He might be able to think more quickly if he was not also mentally wrangling Foyagah's pulsing hatred. _Should have dragged Fethis down here_. He sighed. There was nothing to be done for it now so he pressed on. "Not why they hired your entire company to protect a relatively small operation?"   

The commander's eyes flashed, piqued. "You ask me that, after all you've done?" Teldryn resisted the urge to rub the scruff on his chin that was beginning to itch. He would have normally shaved by now but his wrist was still quite tender and he didn't quite trust is off-hand for the whole job. "Maybe I oughtta be asking you what you sneaky elves are protecting? Hm?"

This was going nowhere. Teldryn eased his control over Foyagah, watching the man's eyes widen as the flames of her whip singed the air. "You aren't in a position to be asking questions."

The commander wiped his forehead. "I swear it, elf, I don't know anything beyond that we were to try and keep things quiet and push back any attempts to take the mine from them. Heh, with the job we've done I won't be surprised if Aeresius turns me right out."

It was apparent he wasn't going to get any information so Teldryn subdued the atronach, which took a good bit of effort but he managed to do it without fidgeting.  "With the magnitude of your failure, you might be better off cutting your losses." He probably shouldn't needle the man, but the annoyed look he received did succeed in improving his mood slightly. The commander's shoulders sagged as he breathed out the indignance. 

"I got nothin' to gain on this rock," he said bitterly. "If I bring my company to the port in Raven Rock can we secure passage to Windhelm?"

"I don't see why not, though it's not my call." Not to mention there was already going to be a flurry of activity with the impending wedding. And he could only imagine how scandalized the council members would be to step off their boat to be welcomed by a band of nord mercenaries. Before his mind could try and process all the ways that could go wrong he refocused and gave the simplest answer he could. "I'm heading back with the old man in the morning, I'll bring your request to Captain Veleth."

"So you'll be leaving your soldiers then?" The commander's eyes traveled up to the ridge behind Teldryn.

"Yes, I think so," Teldryn replied as he cast a glance over his shoulder at the party awaiting the outcome of this little parlay. "They won't be in your way. In the meantime, should you remember anything relevant, the Captain is likely to be more accommodating."

"Aye."

Teldryn raised a hand to signal for the mercenary hostages to be freed. As he watched the first of them descend the rope, he wondered idly if the fires had burnt out in the harbor or if they still fed the dense cloud of smoke that had been encroaching southward. He was going to be accosted with questions when he returned.

"I always wondered what it would take to send Heifnir to Sovngarde."

Teldryn rolled his wrist as he assessed the commander's expression, sensing a hint of condemnation in his voice but unable to tell whether it was for him or the nord. Probably both.

As if it mattered.

* * *

 _Gently...gently..._  Vanya helped her foot along the stoop, making as little noise as possible as she closed the door behind her. She had guessed right, it was near dawn, the first ripples of light appearing in the distance. If she hurried she might make it to the beach to watch the sunrise- and hopefully before anyone saw her since she was only clad in her sleeping gown. Milore would probably skin her for this but she'd been cooped up for days and it was driving her bananas.

Her mouth watered. She could really go for a banana right now. She whimpered. A banana split.

She focused on Milore's worktable, wincing at the twinge in her back as she put some weight on her leg to complete a rather ungraceful limp. One goal at a time. She inched forward, decidedly  _not_  thinking about chocolate-covered pretzels, cherry cordials, gummy bears...

She collapsed onto the worktable with a whine, and not because of her leg.  _Cheesecake._

Of all things, the main side effect of her weird dreams- aside from avoiding sleep like the plague- was cravings for Earth foods so intense it almost made her sick. Yesterday it had been pizza, cheeseburgers, eggrolls- all things savory and covered in grease. Apparently, today was going to be dessert.

Someone cleared their throat, a distinctive tone that she recognized immediately. Vanya let her head fall to the side to see Bralsa standing nearby with a small basket hung on her folded arms, squinting at her.

"Hey..." Vanya groaned.

"What on Nirn are you doing?"

Vanya propped herself up on her arms. "Absconding." She eyed the basket, the contents covered with a cloth. "What are _you_ doing?"

Bralsa flipped the cloth back to reveal an assortment of foods. "How do you think Rirns survives? Someone has to feed that old fetcher."

Vanya snorted. "He probably doesn't tell you that Niyya drops off leftovers sometimes, I know Milore does, too"

Bralsa tutted irritably. "I  _thought_  he was looking a little portly. I almost didn't pack a sweetroll."

"Ooh!" Vanya reached out, flexing her fingers expectantly. "Then let's pretend you didn't."

"Alright," Bralsa chuckled as she handed over the pastry that Vanya eyed like prey.  "While you're busy with that I'll drop this off then I'll come back and help you in your escape." Bralsa headed in the direction of the shack while Vanya leaned on her elbows as she licked the icing of the sweetroll, closing her eyes in ecstasy as the sugar melted over her wanton tastebuds. This would do for now.  _Though I really wish I had some cinnamon._

* * *

By the time they made it to the beach, the sun was well on its way over the horizon, a coral diffusion chasing away the lingering twilight. Vanya had her right arm over Bralsa's shoulder as the dunmer led her to the rock they usually occupied, but Vanya halted their progress when she came to a couple of realizations. First, the rock would not be comfortable to sit on and second...

"I need to wash my hands," she said, pressing her sticky fingers together.

"Kinda need to wash your face, too." Bralsa added, licking her thumb trying to swipe it along Vanya's chin.

"Ugh!" Vanya craned her neck to try and get out of reach, but the risk of falling over foiled her attempts and the wet thumb caught her eventually. "Fine," she said, sputtering. "You want to 'mom' me?" She leaned over and rubbed her face liberally on Bralsa's shirt, making it her napkin. Bralsa cackled as her hands made to push away, but unable to do so unless she wanted to send Vanya sprawling in the ash.

"Alright, alright! You win!" Bralsa croaked through her giggles and Vanya relented, laughing triumphantly. After they'd both calmed, they stood smiling at each other for a few moments. A peculiar look crept over Bralsa's features and before Vanya could react, she was pulled into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around her friend and they stood embraced, speaking through the silence with fervent clinging.

Bralsa relaxed her grip, resuming her position under Vanya's arm, her voice slightly choked as she scolded, "No more sneaking off on your own, alright?"

Vanya could have corrected her in saying she hadn't exactly  _snuck off_  into the Hirstaang but she knew what she meant, so she nodded in agreement. "I'll try."

Bralsa helped her to the water, which was a considerable distance since the tide was so low. With some difficulty, Vanya managed to get onto her knees, sinking into the soft ground a little. When the gentle waves drew closer she dipped her hands in, spreading her fingers flat against the cool sand as the undulation of the water pushed and pulled, eerie in its rhythm with her breathing. The roar of the ocean surrounded her as her eyes followed the dappled light on the surface back to the brilliant source, having now completed its ascent to preside over yet another day. The sleeplessness crept over her limbs like a heavy blanket while her heart fluttered from the sugar in her veins. Was it too much to ask, really? To have a moment of true peace?

Her eyes darted to the disturbance in the water a few feet away only a second before the dark silhouette formed underneath. Her hands slipped as she tried to push herself back, luckily being kept from falling in face first as Bralsa hooked around her chest and yanked her back just when whatever it was broke through the surface with a splash.

"That's it!" Bralsa cried, dragging her up the shore. "I'm finding a way to put you inside of a ward!"

Vanya dug in her heel. "Bralsa, wait!"

"Even  _if_  you hadn't just nearly had your face bitten off by a slaughterfish..."

She tried to loosen the dunmer's grip on her, squealing, "Wait!"

"If I hadn't been here...what if there was a mudcrab?"

 _God-dammit_  Bralsa was not being careful of her leg. "Stop!" The edge of annoyance in her voice finally got Bralsa to listen and look back.

Teeba- Ei was staring at them blankly from the water, still crouched down so that only his head and part of his scaled shoulders were visible.

"Gah, Oblivion take you!" Bralsa spun and put her hands on her hips, releasing Vanya so quickly she had to catch herself on her elbows with an 'oof'. "Just what did you think you were doing?"

He blinked a few times. "Swimming."

"Azura, help me," Bralsa sighed as she slid down to the sand next to Vanya. "I hope you're wearing smalls at least."

"Erm..." He pointed behind them to the rock and they both followed the gesture, seeing a stack of clothes on top that they had not previously noticed.

Vanya flattened out on the ground, throwing her arm over her eyes as she laughed.

"Go on, then," Bralsa said with a grin in her voice. "We won't look."

The dampness of the beach soaked through her nightgown and into the back of her hair as she heard Teeba-Ei leaving the water, followed by squelching under his heavy feet as he made his way to his clothes.

"Tell me you're fighting the urge to peek, as well," Bralsa whispered.

Vanya snorted. "Uh, can't say that I am." Although now that Bralsa mentioned it, she found she was  _maybe_  a tiny bit curious.

"Well, he'd better hurry it up or I might just give in."

He really was taking his time. Surely he couldn't have slipped away in embarrassment without them knowing. Vanya nudged her arm down a little, keeping her eyes squinted enough that her lashes would blur out anything if she happened to see something she shouldn't.

"You little liar," Bralsa scolded, taking Vanya's cue and turning to look as well.

He was still there, wearing only his pants and fully absorbed in fiddling with the laces.

"Xuth," he muttered under his breath, shaking out one hand almost violently.

"Really?" Bralsa pushed up to her feet with huff. "Apparently I'm everyone's mother today," she groused as she headed toward the argonian. He eyed her warily as she stood in front of him with her hands opened expectantly.

Bralsa smirked. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Godzilla."

He handed the laces over. " _Godzilla_  is not afraid of small women."

"Alright, fine," Bralsa drawled while she looped the laces around her fingers. "So, I have to ask..." She completed her knot with an exaggerated tug and stepped back, crossing her arms. "Who ties these for you every day anyway?"

"Teeba-Ei does," he said, raising his shaking hands. "It gets worse when Teeba-Ei is..." He looked between them. "...unfocused."

In an instant she saw him in a new light, all the pieces clicking together; the distant looks, chipped scales, the tremors that they'd mistaken for nervousness. Gods, she felt foolish. She'd treated him as if he were some simpleton, a slow gentle giant, completely overlooking that he was a living manifestation of a tortured history that filled the gap somewhere between the Somnalius fern hut and now. If she could get out of her own head for once, she might have picked up on the signs. The change in Bralsa's expression indicated she was coming to a similar kind of conclusion, her posture stiffening as she curled her arms tighter as if to hug herself.

"Where did you say you came from?" she asked, a strange agitation in her voice. Not quite defensive, but that was the closest Vanya could place it.

"Bogwater, on the Topal Bay."

"So nowhere near Morrowind. I would have thought you far too young anyway." Bralsa's shoulders drooped in relief. "Though I've heard of some who still practice the old ways."

"Grandmother spoke of the old ways," he nodded as if the two of them had just come to an agreement, then the edges of his mouth stretched into a slight grin. "But Teeba-Ei has never met a dunmer who needed to be feared."

Bralsa huffed, "Not for you, I bet." She stepped back from him, motioning to her recent handiwork. "And if you ever need help again..." She even had the gall to wink. "You know who to ask."

Bralsa picked up Teeba-Ei's shirt and tossed it to him and Vanya shifted on the ground, completely confounded by that tense exchange that somehow ended up with... _flirting_? With Teeba-Ei? Fine, she could admit that if she disregarded his- lizard qualities- he had a pleasing physique. If one were into towering beefcakes, that is. Covered in scales. _Do those go everywhere?_   She averted her eyes as he pulled his shirt on, the irony of it not lost on her that she'd been staring at him half-naked for who knows how long. As she wondered where the madness would end, a new discomfort made itself known in the form of wet sand creeping up her gown. It had really been a stellar sunrise.

She grimaced when she heard her name in a shrill tone coming from the direction of Milore's house. The elder woman was charging toward them, still in her own nightgown with bare feet slapping on the ground.

"What is going through your mind? You're filthy!" Milore shrieked. "You!" She pointed at Bralsa. "You should know better than to let her come out here. What if there were mudcrabs?"

Bralsa scoffed, "When's the last time you saw a-"

"And you!" She rounded on Teeba-Ei, after a moment her accusing finger beginning to wag slowly, her eyes narrowing inquisitively. "What's your name, again?"

Vanya stared up at Milore in disbelief. _He seriously says it every other word..._

"Godzi- ehm" He caught himself. "Teeba-Ei."

"Right, Teeba-Ei. I need you to carry her back to my house."

Vanya started to roll over to push up onto her knees. "He doesn't need-

"Hush!" Milore barked.  _Okay, she's mad_. "You shouldn't have walked  _this_  far to begin with!"

The elder woman's icy glare darted between, freezing them in place until Bralsa nudged Teeba- Ei. "Go on."

Under Milore's imperious gaze, Bralsa helped Vanya stand and climb into Teeba-Ei's arms, tucking in the edges of her nightgown to save at least a little bit of dignity. His hands were still trembling but the rest of him was solid enough, feeling more like being carried by a walking tree than a person.

She cringed upon seeing people out and about who were eyeing the curious group on their approach.  _Ugh, Milore is right. What was I thinking?_   Her skin prickled and she squeezed her eyes shut to pretend she wasn't being absolutely humiliated. Teeba-Ei smelled like the ocean and seaweed. Mossy, damp, slightly sour. Green. A sudden terror gripped her stomach and her body demanded that she squirm away from him, the feeling of his solid mass making her want to peel off the parts of her that touched him. She couldn't, it was a long fall down and she would not be able to catch herself. And what would she do then? She couldn't run.

She opened her eyes, suppressing panic. _Snap out of it!_ She stared at the brown scales of his neck, willing herself into the present. Bralsa was right next to her and Milore on the other side. She sucked in a deep breath to try and relax. And Teeba- Ei, she _knew_ she had nothing to fear from him, surely not with the way he coddled that fern more tenderly than a cooing grandmother. Still, her heart raced so erratically she was becoming light-headed. She looked up at the sky, listening to the noise in the market as they neared Milore's house. _It's just a sugar rush. Calm down. Keep breathing._

A strange halo around Hvitkald caught her attention, a faint vignette that wasn't the right color to be storm clouds. She blinked a few times, craning her neck over Teeba-Ei's shoulder to see better. Cold dread washed over her, laced with worry.  _Is that smoke?_


	62. Idle Chatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late!! Sorry, I made the mistake of making a bunch of edits after uploading the chapter here and somehow...the page refreshed and reverted all the changes I'd made!! Set me back, that did. That and the pouting.
> 
> Also, this chapter and the next were originally all one chapter but it was getting wayyy too long so I split it up. I think that was ultimately a good thing because there's quite a tone change between the parts and it seems more appropriate for them to be separated. Hopefully you agree, and enjoy! ^.^

Teldryn wanted to pick up his pace as they stepped onto the familiar sands of the beach, back into the domain of the mountain that laid its claim with a heavy layer of ash. He stayed his restlessness- as he had done on the entire trip back- due to his slow, limping companion. As if that were not enough, the closer to town they got, the more Fethis traded his previous silence for continuous musing.

"...I still remember the way she smiled the first time she mentioned his name, and somehow the memory no longer makes me ill..."

Perhaps for the old man, it was relief that his part in this mission was over that had loosened his tongue, or that they did not have the guards hovering around, or simply that the air was no longer freezing the breath in his throat.

"...Silly of me to be so protective, who could care for her better than the captain of the guard? And it's not as if he is not steadfast..."

Whatever the cause, Fethis had exhausted his topics twice over by the time they had reached Damphall yesterday and had been working on a third rundown since they'd set out this morning.

"...Although I do hope we will not be seeing more conflict due to what has happened. Those fool Imperials! I could not bear to see Dreyla distraught if he must go off into some ridiculous campaign..."

Teldryn nodded absently as Fethis launched into the least desirable of the subjects. There was more to come from that smoldering mess he'd left behind and while he'd followed through on his part, he could not help but feel he was not finished. It was not Raven Rock that concerned him, Teldryn had no doubt that Modyn could defend it. It was the nagging mystery that danced on the edge of his vision, slipping out of sight every time he turned to look. An insidious motive that roused his intuition with the scent of danger. On one hand, he did not want to leave his brother to field this unsettling threat alone, on the other, he wanted Vanya as far away from peril as possible. He and Modyn needed to talk, reason out the unknown, narrow down the possibilities. If he could get a handle on what they were dealing with, then he'd know better what to do.

"...Ah, the Bulwark! I have not always thought it a comforting sight. But I suppose it has grown on me over the years..."

As the rest of the shapes of the town came into view, Fethis' introspections trailed further behind. The old man could find his own way home.

* * *

The tip of the bone needle poked through the fabric a little further than the spot she intended, then not far enough, then too far...finally it emerged in the right place only to retreat back under as Vanya's fingers had already anticipated another failure. She growled under her breath.

In her periphery, she saw Sadesi grin as she worked on mending a tunic for a miner. One of about ten the dunmer had stacked next to where she sat near the foot of Vanya's bed in the Netch.

With her back against the headboard, Vanya was not working on a tunic, rather she was trying to  _re-_ repair an old tear in Teldryn's cowl that she'd managed to break apart by scrubbing a little too zealously. She finally completed her stitch, grimacing at the slight pucker it created. "This is going to be the ugliest seam in Nirn's history."

"Tch, that cowl is more stitching than cloth anyway," Sadesi replied. "He won't even notice."

Vanya made a face. "I'll notice." Unless he decided to keep her shawl for good, that is. Since her little escapade to the beach, Milore had insisted if she must go out, to at least wrap up her leg to keep from over-stressing it. So with a properly bandaged leg, she had hobbled to Teldryn's room in search of a few of her things and had happened upon his filthy cowl- and the distinct lack of a blue shawl. One thing led to another and she'd ended up here, trying to fix the failing of her good intentions. At least, now if her shawl came back full of holes she could stitch up those, too. And if the gods heard anything she'd sent out into the ether over the last few days, the shawl would hopefully be the only thing that came back that way.

She tried her best to exhale her anxiety, swinging her good foot that hung over the edge of the bed to burn off the rest. Just as she started the next stitch, she felt a tickle on her heel. She smiled and pulled her leg up and out of reach of the little one-armed menace who was skulking underneath with his new favorite toy, a feather he'd swiped from Milore. Vanya debated giving Sadesi a silent warning as she heard Llero shuffling toward his new target.

A second later, Sadesi nearly jumped out of her skin with a yelp, throwing her feet up and rolling back onto the bed. "Rats!" she cried in a panic. Vanya could not help her laugh between the woman's wild expression and Llero's muffled giggling. _And I thought I was jumpy._

"Llero!" Sadesi sat up with a huff and examined her finger. "Made me poke myself." A few wisps of golden light swirled around her left hand and she licked the remaining bead of blood from her fingertip. She situated her work back onto her lap, continuing with a shiver of disgust. "Where we lived in Blacklight was lousy with rats."  She leaned over to address the monster under the bed, raising her voice. "And you're nearly as bad! I'll have nightmares tonight thanks to you!"

The boy crawled out on his knees and elbow, then hopped to his feet and began slicing the air with the feather as if it were a blade.

"How many times must I tell you, not inside," Sadesi hissed. "You'll knock over a candle."

"Almaaaaaa," he whined as he spun in one last circle then collapsed to the ground to sit with his knees crossed, looking up at his mother with an exaggerated pout.

Four years old. That's how old he was. He got up to roam around the room to find some entertainment, and it occurred to Vanya that he seemed to be on par with a human child in development. She had assumed elven children would age differently, given they could live so ridiculously long. At what point did their bodies just _decide_ to curtail the aging process? And why? And what about mixed parentage? 

After a few attempts to open all the chests and drawers and having his snooping stifled by his mother, Llero finally settled on flipping through one of Vanya's books that had a few illustrations.

"Just like his father," Sadesi sighed as she refocused on her sewing and Vanya followed suit, letting it slide that the young boy happened to be perusing her book on dagger combat. It was the first time he'd sat still and she certainly wasn't going to be the one to disturb that.  "Always getting into things he shouldn't. Me being one of those things."

Vanya paused mid-stitch, the needle held out in the air. "Excuse me?" It wasn't clear which 'he' Sadesi was referring to, and though she was speaking lightly- the implications of the statement were a little concerning either way.

"I mean, his father is not the only one to blame, obviously," the dunmer said as she tied off a thread, then snipped it close. "But _he_ is the one who is married."

"Oh," Vanya breathed with a relieved snicker. She stabbed her needle back into the cowl.

"I worked for Mevessa Rindu for oh, twelve years or so." Sadesi tossed the finished tunic aside, picking up the next to examine what it needed. "Did mostly hemming and closures, you know, the leftovers that the higher ranks didn't want to do. What I really wanted to do was embroidery. That's the trademark of Rindu pieces," she said as she picked through her colored spools for the right one. "But that wasn't to be. You see, Mevessa's husband runs the day to day in her shop, she's quite busy designing and rubbing elbows with her noble patronage. As you can imagine, he got to know us underlings quite well." She licked the tip of the thread she'd cut, poking it deftly through the needle head. "Some better than others. It's really to be expected, I'm quite sure Mevessa was well aware." Her lithe fingers began their expert movements along the collar. "The problems started when I got pregnant, that was _not_  supposed to happen."

Vanya swallowed nervously. "Did you forget to drink your tea?" Up until her injury, she had been meticulous about hers and the idea of it failing was...she didn't want to think about that.

"Tea? No, no tea," she replied with a crooked grin, as if the idea amused her. "I suppose we didn't wait long enough after my fever, I hadn't had one for months and well, Taryl could be..." She arched her brow. " _Hasty._ Once I knew the truth, and my stomach began to grow, I assured Mevessa that it was due to my relationship with another man, which was plausible. I'd seen him a few times, here and there. When I saw Llero's eyes, though, I knew we were outed. That violet, those are Taryl's eyes, no question. And despite my best attempts to keep him out of the way when she was around, eventually Mevessa saw for herself." They both looked to the boy, who was sitting oblivious to their conversation with the feather perched between his toes as he ran his finger along its soft edges. Considering that he was also looking at a diagram of a dagger, the sight managed to be a tiny bit disturbing. "It was Taryl who turned us away when I arrived for the day," Sadesi continued, her mind drifting. "Truthfully, I had expected it much sooner. Llero was walking by then. He promised to assist me, and at first, things were alright. But as time went on I saw less and less from him, and when I tried to get work..." She turned her attention back to her project. "I couldn't. At least not anything that required my skillset. That...that hard-hearted, jealous..." Her lips pressed together tightly as her face turned a worrying shade of indigo. "...corprus-infested _bonewalker_ squeezed me out!" She tossed the tunic aside, giving in to her rancor. "Reduced my options to begging or selling myself. And I'd do it, too, and be happy about it, just to show her. At least, I could have something beautiful that she couldn't." Seeing his mother's distress, Llero got up and started climbing into her lap. She hugged him to her chest. "But he doesn't deserve the things that lifestyle brings, and it's not his fault. I thought it best we got out of Blacklight altogether. Now I wonder if I'll ever do right by him."

"What are you talking about?" Vanya couldn't believe what she was hearing. "It's not your fault, either. This was completely unpredictable," she said, motioning between her leg and Llero. "A freak thing, that's all."

Sadesi laughed, batting away her son's attempts to poke her face with the feather. "I won't be able to handle any more 'freak things', I'll tell you that much. You must be tiring of hearing this by now, Vanya, but you saved my life."

She wouldn't say she was tired of hearing it, but Sadesi was indeed inundating her with gratitude for which she'd begun to run out of responses. At this rate, she figured, it would simply be a permanent fixture of their exchanges and as such had started giving a similarly repetitive rejoinder. "You know I'd do it again."

Having finished her seam, Vanya tied it off. "Well," she said, holding it out for Sadesi to trim the thread. "Time for inspection."

Sadesi shooed Llero away to pick up the books he'd spread out on the floor, then took the cowl to look it over with her critical eye. When she gave the fabric a tug to test its strength, Vanya nearly squeaked in alarm, but managed to hold it together.

"Passable," Sadesi said politely. Somehow the vaguely patronizing assessment sounded like high praise, especially after seeing Sadesi's unnaturally perfect stitching. "And look, you've even sewn one of your hairs into it."

"Damn it," Vanya snatched the cowl back, her pride deflating. She picked at the stitches, trying to get a hold of the wayward strand.

"No!" Sadesi cried, causing her to jump as her work was shoved down into her lap. "Jermesh am'as daelkhun," the dunmer said insistently. Vanya blinked at her, waiting for the explanation.

"Okay?" she ventured after a few moments of silence.

"Ehm, thread of the heart. The ashlanders say it's good luck. Of course, it would not be appropriate for professional work, but this you are doing out of care. Leave it, and it will bring him good fortune."

Vanya hummed thoughtfully. She'd leave it then, even if it merely sounded like a clever excuse to not have to redo any work. She could get behind that, and for all she knew, it could be true. At this point, she was ready to believe anything.

"So what is he like, really?" Sadesi wiggled a tiny bit closer. Vanya hardly had time to process the question before she continued, "In Blacklight, I saw him a few times around the markets. He was well known, being the son of an Officer. And he certainly strode around like one. I heard the other mercenaries called him that in jest- _Gahareg_. I was far too young to run in their circles but not too young to swoon. I met a few of them years later." She leaned back on her hands, obviously pleased with herself. After a few moments, Vanya's hopes that Sadesi's memories would lead off on a tangent were dashed as the dunmer's eyes leveled on her. "Teldryn was long gone by then." There was something latent in the statement, a segue into a conversation that would definitely be based on hearsay and it made Vanya re-evaluate whether she wanted this to continue. Sadesi might be an open book, but theirs was not yet a friendship that she felt comfortable sharing anything involving Teldryn- in either direction.

Vanya shrugged, fiddling with the cowl aimlessly. "I guess that's the way of a sellsword, huh?"

"Oh, he didn't leave of his own accord, he was banished." _That_ got Vanya's attention. "I never heard any more about him after that. I didn't recognize him here, even after I learned his name. He didn't have the..." she gestured around her face. "...markings before."

"Why was he banished?" The question fell out of her mouth before she even realized she was speaking.  _Damn my curiosity._

A shadow darkened the door and Sadesi's imminent answered died in her throat with a croak as they both stared at the figure leaning on the frame. There he stood, as if he'd been summoned by the intrigue. The elation that she felt upon seeing Teldryn safe was tempered quite heavily by the undeniably poor timing. That, and he looked _rough_. His tired features were darkened further by the black scruff that had grown on his face and sides of his head, making him seem almost like someone she didn't know. She felt as if she could not take a breath, her vision honed in on crimson eyes, unreadable but not cold.

"It was trivial, I assure you," he said with a slight quirk at the corner of his mouth. Any tenderness that could have been detected in his features fell away as his gaze slid to Sadesi and Vanya felt a slight jolt on the mattress as the woman gave a full-body wince.

"Ah, I think..." Sadesi got to her feet quickly, heading for Llero. "I think we ought to go see if Geldis needs any help, hm?

Vanya could not look away as Teldryn watched the others shuffle awkwardly from the room. Then he closed the door, sealing them in.


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for my slow updating! Unfortunately, this is probably how it's going to be for a little while for a couple of reasons. First being that since I'm nearing the end I seem to be writing very out of order, so I've got quite a bit written out...it's just not anything I can post yet. XD The other reason is just...you know, life.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was pretty tough for me to get just what I wanted from it. I think I did it. Hope you enjoy!

Was it possible for a soul to sigh? Teldryn traced a grainline on the door with his eyes as he processed what he'd just overheard. _Of all the fucking things..._

He massaged his brow. And with all the time wasted going from Milore's house, to his room, then finally ending up here, Modyn was sure to sniff him out much sooner than he desired. He'd been tempted to stop and listen to just what the prattling dunmer woman had to say in answer to Vanya's question but after that little hunt to figure out her location- his eagerness to see her had won out. He would also prefer to satisfy her curiosity himself in this matter. Only it was the last thing he wanted to do right _now._

"The banishment has long expired," he said wearily. "The ruling was only twenty years. A pittance for an equally ridiculous situation." He dropped his hand and looked toward her. "A fight, if you can- "

His mouth went dry as he took in the sight of her in whole, a strange feeling coming over him upon seeing her sitting so timidly on the bed, rigid, a wary spark glinting deep within her eyes that he'd only ever seen once. The singular tension in the room tugged at his mind with dreadful familiarity. He'd been in this moment with her before, their first meeting- how could he ever forget?

Suddenly, nothing else mattered except finding the source of that look and getting rid of it- whether it was something in him, something in her, or some _one_.

"Vanya..." Though he desired greatly to rush toward her and pull her close, his instincts screamed caution. He took a step. Then another.

* * *

As he came closer, she tossed his cowl aside and shifted her legs to the floor, her heart wanting to meet him halfway but the rest of her lacking the capacity.

"Why are you afraid?"

_Why?_

For the same reasons she had always been, for new ones that continually emerged, they followed her footsteps and haunted her thoughts, waking or not. It was beyond her to put the words together to express any of it, as if it could only be spoken in a foreign tongue. He knelt in front of her and the softness that now dominated his expression clawed at her mercilessly, linking abruptly to a fractured memory; a web of dead branches passing overhead, the light that filtered through gliding across the sharp angles of his features, the diffusion making him look almost childlike. She hadn't known in those dazed moments if she was alive or dead in his arms, but one feeling had prevailed. She had wanted to comfort him.

And now, the desire was still there, retreating inside her against her will as he reached for her. He hesitated, then quickly tugged his gauntlets off onto the floor.

"Vanya, what is it?" His hand ghosted across her bandages, the other settling on her waist as he scooted closer between her knees. 

The agonizing pressure in her chest battled with his tender affections, crushing her like a vice. She didn't even feel the tears on her cheeks until he wiped them away and she closed her eyes as she leaned into the heat of his palms. Dirt and pine, wrapped in wood smoke- a scent that was not his, a scent that was far away, deep in a verdant forest where she chased after something that she would never have again. She could get so close- _so close_ \- until the crippling void under her feet sucked her down screaming. Her hands pawed blindly at the plate of his chest armor, grasping for something to anchor herself as she took a shuddering breath.

"Speak to me, Khes'yi," he pleaded.

She wanted to give him what he wanted, she had tried. She would never have enough. "I wish..." The tremulous words took great effort. "I wish I could go back in time, that none of this would've happened." 

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. "I know."

She shook her head as he pulled her closer, encircling her as he buried his face into her neck. Her skin prickled as the scruff on his cheek scratched at it and she returned the embrace desperately, her attempts to squeeze away the horror crawling over her thwarted by his armor. If she could touch him, if she could just feel him...

Finally, she grabbed his face and lifted it, capturing his lips with hers. She sighed into his mouth as he leaned into her. _There._

* * *

Relief flooded him as her kiss drowned him like an addict in a skooma den. To have her back in his arms, so soft and sweet, he regretted with his whole heart that he had not been present for her during the suffering she had endured. Her head rolled back into his hand as he roamed her mouth, making up for precious time lost. Gods, how had he left her?

He retreated from her to breathe, grinning as she chased him, pulled helplessly back in as her teeth caught his lower lip. He breathed her instead, trading a few more nips before he pulled away once more, her flushed skin and swollen lips tempting him cruelly. Now was not the time.  He caressed his thumb along the slender line of her collarbone toward the shoulder of her injured arm.

"Let me see you," he said with a gentle squeeze. She swallowed as she loosed the tie of her nightgown then pushed the neck down enough to free her arm from the sleeve. He was heartened to see that it seemed to be fully intact, only marked with raised scars in varying darkened shades. Those would fade some in time. "Any pain?"

"Not really," she replied with a light shrug. "They are a little tender if I press on them."

"Good." He dropped his eyes to her leg, shifting away from her so he could undo the bandage.

"No, Teldryn," she said as she stopped his hand. "It's awful."

As if she had to tell him that. He raised a brow at her. "I know."

After a few moments, she relented, busying herself with righting her sleeve as he began to uncover the wounds that concerned him the most, at the same time a bit mystified as to why she did not want him to see. As the deep, sinewy furrows that cut through her flesh were revealed, his only thought was that it was a decided improvement- even if it looked as if someone had tried to carve out her veins. He set his jaw. Oh, he remembered how he had left her.

"I should've- I should've listened to you." The wretchedness in her voice snapped him from his grim reverie.

"What?" He pushed up to sit next to her and she seemed to shrink from him. "What are you saying?"

"All the work you did..." Sharp intakes of breath separated the choked words. "Training- and the armor. I- I did it all wrong."

Absurdly, he had to hold back a laugh at her hysteria. "Khes'yi, stop." He reached out to turn her face toward him, the steady stream of heavy tears running down onto his fingers. "You didn't do anything wrong." She tried to turn her head but he held on. " _Please._ You did exactly what you should have." Her hand found his wrist, gripping hard enough to nearly make him wince as she finally looked at him. "You did what needed to be done."

If time could stop for him here, lost in the dark, searching wells of her eyes, he was certain that he would want for nothing.

* * *

He really believed it. And the sincerity in that deep crimson could almost make her believe it, too. Except he didn't really know, and still he had burrowed through all the defenses she'd built until, in her weakness, she had thought she could let his reality take hold. But it wasn't just him. She had fooled everyone. To correct it now- to move in any direction- would be to sever herself from what tenuous moorings she had managed to create. She didn't want to let go.

She nudged his hand from her chin, gasping when she saw the bandaging on his wrist. "What happened?" 

"Broke it," he answered blithely as he scooted nearer on the bed, his other arm coming to rest over her shoulders.

"It's all healed?" 

He hummed affirmatively as he flexed it back and forth. "Though it smarts if I bend it just so."

"No, don't!" she cried, snatching his hand into her lap to protect his injury from his ridiculous need to demonstrate, feeling all the more sheepish due to the fact that she'd been practically crushing it moments before. She glanced up at him as he pulled her in closer, his self-satisfied grin making her give him a reprimanding shove with her shoulder. "You're not funny," she muttered, trying to keep her lips from curling up.

"No?" He leaned down to see her face better and she pressed into him to hide the smile she could no longer suppress. "That is unfortunate."

It occurred to her that the fabric against her cheek felt suspiciously familiar and she lifted her head from his chest to see her shawl. "I'll tell you what you are, though," she said as she pushed away from him, raising her finger to his nose. "You're a dirty, rotten liar."

He blinked, looking between her finger and her best attempt at an accusing expression. She reached for the cowl she'd tossed aside and raised it to his face. 

"I thought you said you weren't a _thief_."

* * *

"My _Lady_ ," he said as he laughed, full and genuine. "It seems that I am in your debt." Ignoring his cowl, he wrapped her into his arms once again, lowering his mouth to her ear. "Whatever can I do to get back into your good graces?"

A shiver coursed through her as her head tilted back, silky hair sliding away to reveal the warm curve of her neck. Softly, he nipped the tender flesh, careful to not make her flinch.

"Teldryn..." she breathed.

There was a knock on the door, a short rap that jarred him like a handful of snow down his collar. He straightened up with a sigh as Vanya scooted away, situating her gown. He'd bet his helmet he knew exactly who it was.

"Come in," he clipped out.

Modyn stepped into the room, tipping his head toward Vanya then leveling his gaze on Teldryn, crossing his arms as he raised a brow expectantly.

"How's Dreyla?" Teldryn asked in feigned pleasantry.

Modyn grimaced a little. "Happier, I imagine." He looked between them. "To my office?" It wasn't really a question and as much as Teldryn would like to tell him off at the moment, the reality of the circumstances outside of this room took precedence.

"Come," Teldryn picked up Vanya's hand as he got to his feet. "You want to hear what happened, right?"

"Is that allowed?" she asked, glancing toward Modyn as she pulled herself up, using his arm for leverage.

"If he wants to hear the story from me, it is."

"Sure," The captain groused as he headed out the door. "I don't make the fuckin' rules."


End file.
